People in monogamous relationships: is your sex life satisfying? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

McDuffie · 05-07-2005, 10:06 AM

My wife and I were discussing this today. A long time ago I had read that of all the various sexual persuasions, lesbian woman in monogamous relationships were most likely to have a satisfying sex life.

My wife listed several reasons why this might be so. Since this is a google searchable forum, I will only say that she may or may not have some experience in this area

doncalypso · 05-07-2005, 02:43 PM

Well... there are things I wish my girlfriend will let me indulge in with her, but I guess there isn't much I can do about that.

Sweetpea · 05-07-2005, 03:38 PM

I think it CAN be truly satisfying and actually grow deeper and sexier with every year that passes.

I've been married for 3 years now, a lover with him for 5 . . . and things are hotter than they have ever been and i only see that improving as there are still at least a hundred things i still want to try

With our discovery of our mutual love of all kinds of porn and watching it together 3-4 times per week, expanding on our fantasies and new and different kinds of sex that we can have, the addition of sex toys etc. . . . we keep it fresh and hot everyday.
I feel like the possibilities are endless with what we can do together. That being said, we are both highly sexual people and are intimate 6-7 days a week at least once a day, so i think our matching sex drives really have helped us connect in the erotic arena of life.

I suspect that having similar sex drives and similar sexual tastes is the key to having a happy sex life when committed.

sweetpea

Sage · 05-07-2005, 08:59 PM

For Martel and I, our satisfaction fluctuates between very happy and wish we had more. The stress of the past few weeks (final exams for both of us, graduation coming up for me) had led to us having sex less and less, and when that happens neither of us is happy. However, I would say that our sex life is sastifying, but I wish we had sex more. Mainly it's because of the stress I have had over the past few weeks that we don't (my libido is still recovering). But it is getting better

Gilda · 05-07-2005, 09:22 PM

Grace and I are intimate 4-6 times a week. We've been together a little more than 4 years, and are in our 3rd year of marriage, and we're still going at it like newlyweds.

Hardknock · 05-07-2005, 09:38 PM

I've found that sex gets better as the years go by. In my case, when my wife and I first got married, she was pretty much a missionary type of gal who always expected me to do all the work. Now, almost 9 years later, she loves to have sex doggystyle, use toys, she's tried to get me to bring home some porn and she reads playboy with a slight grin on her face when she gets to the centerfolds. I once asked her the reason why she's starting to let loose and she said that as you get older, you get more comfortable with sex. Fine by me, I said. So yeah, I'd agree with it gets better as time goes on. You get more and more comfortable with the person you're with and you really get to know their wants and needs and you're better able to satisfy them. The trick is to just spice things up a little every once in a while.

tecoyah · 05-08-2005, 04:07 AM

.................Extremely.................

Meditrina · 05-08-2005, 05:24 AM

Up until recently, I would have said "not really". Between him playing softball alot and me being so tired, it just wasn't happening as often as we like. I have finally started to let loose a bit and make the quality better. Being here at TFP and openly talking about it, really has opened my eyes to many new things. My husband is very grateful.

uptown · 05-08-2005, 06:48 AM

short answer, no it isn't.

Astrocloud · 05-09-2005, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McDuffie

My wife and I were discussing this today. A long time ago I had read that of all the various sexual persuasions, lesbian woman in monogamous relationships were most likely to have a satisfying sex life.

I'll tell you why -they are lying. They want to advertise that their sex-life is soooo great that straight women will come crawling to them. They also don't want the Media to think that their sex life sucks.

I hate to say it but anonymous polls sometimes give way to what people want others to think about their group. A number of examples exist for this but let's just say that I am really suspicious of any poll claiming that one group is having spectacular sex.

Even though I am a lesbian and my sex-life is FANTASTIC!

aberkok · 05-09-2005, 09:28 PM

I'm going on 9 years with my girl, and things are as good as ever. The frequency is down from about 2 or 3 times a week to average once a week, but each time is as special as the last. I won't lie, sometimes things don't work out if one of us is stressed out, but when it's her, I'm finally getting mature enough to gracefully bow out and take care of business.

I feel success is brought on by *surprise*: communciation and listening.

IsuGuy · 05-10-2005, 09:05 AM

I would have to say no. However it is due to some medical issues with her. I totally understand and that doesnt bother me. However there are things we *can* do and we dont. That part bothers me more than anything. I am trying to stick it out as we finally have some answers from the doctors and it looks like there might be an solution.

-Mike

Cynthetiq · 05-10-2005, 09:40 AM

happy happy joy joy

KinkyKiwi · 05-10-2005, 12:50 PM

mmmm..oh god yes!!

la petite moi · 05-10-2005, 12:51 PM

No. I still live with parents, and when he comes home, so does he. We end up having to sneak around whenever we want to do something, making it an overall un-enjoyable situation.

Adonis1782 · 05-10-2005, 02:19 PM

I am single but do enjoy my sex life. I have many lesbian and bisexual friends. They enjoy their sex lives but have trouble with relationships and sticking with their sexual preferences. Most of them enjoy my company and are somewhat attracted to me.

I think for one to enjoy their sex life is just a matter of being happy with what they have and can have.

Sweetpea · 05-10-2005, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astrocloud

I'll tell you why -they are lying. They want to advertise that their sex-life is soooo great that straight women will come crawling to them. They also don't want the Media to think that their sex life sucks.

I hate to say it but anonymous polls sometimes give way to what people want others to think about their group. A number of examples exist for this but let's just say that I am really suspicious of any poll claiming that one group is having spectacular sex.

Even though I am a lesbian and my sex-life is FANTASTIC!

What are you basing your thoughts on here Astrocloud?

You are REALLY actually suspicious??

Why would they lie?

Let's break it down for you here:
The primary act that gets women to orgasm is oral Sex . . . lesbians have allot of oral sex in their sex lives, it is the predominant sex act . . . so it only makes sense that they would have the most satisfying sex, based on that fact.

And um . . . excuse me, but what kind of comment is that? That lesbians are trying to get straight women to 'switch sides'?? That is a ridiculous thing to say, sexuality is not something that can be changed . . . you cannot make a straight woman enjoy oral sex from another woman . . . it's about attraction and sexuality . . . NOT because some poll said they had better sex

That lesbians would lie to get straight women into bed??!

That comment you made is homophobic and I find it inappropriate.

But you had an opinion and you expressed it . . . and i respect you for that. I am merely giving you a rebuttal.

Thanks,

Sweet Pea

Lead543 · 05-10-2005, 05:01 PM

Does it count that I'm unmarried and not having sex?
We're both playful people.
And I imagine that playfulness will continue throughout the years.

streak_56 · 05-10-2005, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lead543

Does it count that I'm unmarried and not having sex?
We're both playful people.
And I imagine that playfulness will continue throughout the years.

I agree and yes... I am sucking up

*edit*

When it feels so good it hurts....

Biscuit Buns · 05-10-2005, 10:18 PM

I'm not currently having sex, but in the past, my sex life was very pleasant and fulfilling.

It's all about exploring and finding new things (which is hard, but fun if you've been at it a while LOL).

Sweetpea · 05-11-2005, 03:18 PM

Sex is lovely. Sex with your partner is even better

exploration is the key!

Sweetpea

absorbentishe · 05-12-2005, 07:07 PM

I've said this before... It only gets better. We've been married almost 10 years, and together 15 years. The quality of our sex has improved and improved and improved. And it has become more satisfying. We don't have sex as much as either of us would like, but quality is way more important.

chickentribs · 05-12-2005, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biscuit Buns

I'm not currently having sex, but in the past, my sex life was very pleasant and fulfilling.

It's all about exploring and finding new things (which is hard, but fun if you've been at it a while LOL).

Good for you Biscuit! I understand what you mean, I recently took a year off from sex and relationships, and when you free yourself of other people's "stuff" and agendas it was fun to see what popped up in my life on its own.

A longtime friend talked me down into a 'friends with benefits' kind of relationship that is new for me. Awkward at times, but why not? New is good...

alpha · 05-14-2005, 12:35 AM

Hmm.. When we do have sex it's great, but lately we've not being doing it as often as I'd want to. So overall.. not quite.

Phant84 · 05-14-2005, 12:40 PM

there are a lot of things i wish she would be willing to try, too bad there wasnt an option for 50/50

twinkle · 05-14-2005, 07:40 PM

I'm a girl in a relationship with a guy (intimate for nearly 2 years now, about to marry) and our sex lives rule.

He is the only guy I've been with who values my orgasm. And boy, does he value it. We're pretty adventurous and the only complaint would be that sometimes real life interrupts our natural sex flow (we would probably do it three times a day if time permitted --- we're that couple that the neighbours hate).

I've never been this voracious in past relationships, but he just turns my crank, I guess.

View Poll Results: Ia your sex life satisfactory?
Yes and I am a woman in a relationship with a woman	4	2.94%
Yes and I am a man in a relationship with a man	1	0.74%
Yes and I am a man in a relationship with a woman	73	53.68%
Yes and I am a woman in a relationship with a man	24	17.65%
No and I am a woman in a relationship with a woman	2	1.47%
No and I am a man in a relationship with a man	1	0.74%
No and I am a man in a relationship with a woman	30	22.06%
No and I am a woman in a relationship with a man	1	0.74%
Voters: 136. You may not vote on this poll

05-07-2005, 10:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
McDuffie Tilted Location: McDuffie Co, GA	People in monogamous relationships: is your sex life satisfying? My wife and I were discussing this today. A long time ago I had read that of all the various sexual persuasions, lesbian woman in monogamous relationships were most likely to have a satisfying sex life. My wife listed several reasons why this might be so. Since this is a google searchable forum, I will only say that she may or may not have some experience in this area

05-07-2005, 02:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	Well... there are things I wish my girlfriend will let me indulge in with her, but I guess there isn't much I can do about that. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

05-07-2005, 03:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	I think it CAN be truly satisfying and actually grow deeper and sexier with every year that passes. I've been married for 3 years now, a lover with him for 5 . . . and things are hotter than they have ever been and i only see that improving as there are still at least a hundred things i still want to try With our discovery of our mutual love of all kinds of porn and watching it together 3-4 times per week, expanding on our fantasies and new and different kinds of sex that we can have, the addition of sex toys etc. . . . we keep it fresh and hot everyday. I feel like the possibilities are endless with what we can do together. That being said, we are both highly sexual people and are intimate 6-7 days a week at least once a day, so i think our matching sex drives really have helped us connect in the erotic arena of life. I suspect that having similar sex drives and similar sexual tastes is the key to having a happy sex life when committed. sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

05-07-2005, 08:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	For Martel and I, our satisfaction fluctuates between very happy and wish we had more. The stress of the past few weeks (final exams for both of us, graduation coming up for me) had led to us having sex less and less, and when that happens neither of us is happy. However, I would say that our sex life is sastifying, but I wish we had sex more. Mainly it's because of the stress I have had over the past few weeks that we don't (my libido is still recovering). But it is getting better __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

05-07-2005, 09:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	Grace and I are intimate 4-6 times a week. We've been together a little more than 4 years, and are in our 3rd year of marriage, and we're still going at it like newlyweds. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

05-07-2005, 09:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Hardknock Republican slayer Location: WA	I've found that sex gets better as the years go by. In my case, when my wife and I first got married, she was pretty much a missionary type of gal who always expected me to do all the work. Now, almost 9 years later, she loves to have sex doggystyle, use toys, she's tried to get me to bring home some porn and she reads playboy with a slight grin on her face when she gets to the centerfolds. I once asked her the reason why she's starting to let loose and she said that as you get older, you get more comfortable with sex. Fine by me, I said. So yeah, I'd agree with it gets better as time goes on. You get more and more comfortable with the person you're with and you really get to know their wants and needs and you're better able to satisfy them. The trick is to just spice things up a little every once in a while.

05-08-2005, 04:07 AM	#7 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	.................Extremely................. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

05-08-2005, 05:24 AM	#8 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	Up until recently, I would have said "not really". Between him playing softball alot and me being so tired, it just wasn't happening as often as we like. I have finally started to let loose a bit and make the quality better. Being here at TFP and openly talking about it, really has opened my eyes to many new things. My husband is very grateful. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

05-08-2005, 06:48 AM	#9 (permalink)
uptown Insane	short answer, no it isn't.

05-09-2005, 09:28 PM	#11 (permalink)
aberkok “Wrong is right.” Location: toronto	I'm going on 9 years with my girl, and things are as good as ever. The frequency is down from about 2 or 3 times a week to average once a week, but each time is as special as the last. I won't lie, sometimes things don't work out if one of us is stressed out, but when it's her, I'm finally getting mature enough to gracefully bow out and take care of business. I feel success is brought on by surprise: communciation and listening. __________________ !check out my new blog! http://arkanamusic.wordpress.com Warden Gentiles: "It? Perfectly innocent. But I can see how, if our roles were reversed, I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries."

05-10-2005, 09:05 AM	#12 (permalink)
IsuGuy Upright Location: Des Moines, Iowa	I would have to say no. However it is due to some medical issues with her. I totally understand and that doesnt bother me. However there are things we can do and we dont. That part bothers me more than anything. I am trying to stick it out as we finally have some answers from the doctors and it looks like there might be an solution. -Mike

05-10-2005, 09:40 AM	#13 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	happy happy joy joy __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-10-2005, 12:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	mmmm..oh god yes!! __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

05-10-2005, 12:51 PM	#15 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	No. I still live with parents, and when he comes home, so does he. We end up having to sneak around whenever we want to do something, making it an overall un-enjoyable situation.

05-10-2005, 02:19 PM	#16 (permalink)
Adonis1782 Upright Location: Chapel Hill, North Carolina	I am single but do enjoy my sex life. I have many lesbian and bisexual friends. They enjoy their sex lives but have trouble with relationships and sticking with their sexual preferences. Most of them enjoy my company and are somewhat attracted to me. I think for one to enjoy their sex life is just a matter of being happy with what they have and can have. __________________ " yer damned if you do and yer damned if you don't " -Bart Simpson

05-10-2005, 05:01 PM	#18 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	Does it count that I'm unmarried and not having sex? We're both playful people. And I imagine that playfulness will continue throughout the years.

05-10-2005, 10:18 PM	#20 (permalink)
Biscuit Buns Four of Wands Location: Somewhere entirely too hot.	I'm not currently having sex, but in the past, my sex life was very pleasant and fulfilling. It's all about exploring and finding new things (which is hard, but fun if you've been at it a while LOL). __________________ A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

05-11-2005, 03:18 PM	#21 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	Sex is lovely. Sex with your partner is even better exploration is the key! Sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

05-12-2005, 07:07 PM	#22 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	I've said this before... It only gets better. We've been married almost 10 years, and together 15 years. The quality of our sex has improved and improved and improved. And it has become more satisfying. We don't have sex as much as either of us would like, but quality is way more important.

05-14-2005, 12:35 AM	#24 (permalink)
alpha Insane Location: Finland	Hmm.. When we do have sex it's great, but lately we've not being doing it as often as I'd want to. So overall.. not quite.

05-14-2005, 12:40 PM	#25 (permalink)
Phant84 Insane Location: aqui	there are a lot of things i wish she would be willing to try, too bad there wasnt an option for 50/50 __________________ Phant Irrationality is the square root of all evil

05-14-2005, 07:40 PM	#26 (permalink)
twinkle Upright	I'm a girl in a relationship with a guy (intimate for nearly 2 years now, about to marry) and our sex lives rule. He is the only guy I've been with who values my orgasm. And boy, does he value it. We're pretty adventurous and the only complaint would be that sometimes real life interrupts our natural sex flow (we would probably do it three times a day if time permitted --- we're that couple that the neighbours hate). I've never been this voracious in past relationships, but he just turns my crank, I guess.