One of the clubs I go to occasionally (for the goth/industrial night on Tuesdays) is also a popular hangout for homosexuals of the area. The crowd is usually a mix of gay and straight. I go because I like the music with the possibility of meeting girls. Sadly, I've been hit on by guys more often than girls there. I suppose I should be flattered. Usually I'm just like "Dude, you seem cool and all, but I'm not gay."

I get hit on regularly by women, funny how the frequency went up after I got married. WHERE WERE ALL THESE WOMEN WHEN I WAS SINGLE!!!!??? Anyway, I've been hit on by men a couple of times. The first time I was at a club with my wife. She went to ladies room for a minute and this guy walked up and offered to buy me a drink. I said "No thanks" then he asked me to dance with him, there was a slow song going. I wanted to say "Dude, lay off. Go hit on someone else already." But I told him I wasn't interested and that my wife really wouldn't be interested in seeing me dance with him.

The real question is, would you play along with a guy hitting on you if it got you a free drink?

(Has dealt with this moral quandry several times)
(usually doesn't take the drink)

And yeah, I too get hit on by more women (and, actually, men) now that I'm in a long term relationship. I think it has to do with the confidence you exude when loved. :D

^ Definitely the confidence. It emitts. Would I play it off to get a drink? No I'd prolly buy him a drink though to make him feel better after gettin turned down then send him on his way haha.

Asta!!

Sure, same thing happened to me as it did you. I was working (selling xmas cards for charity LOL) and a woman who worked at the venue I was at came up to me and said 'this may be a weird question, but are you gay?' I was a little taken aback and said 'no, but tell him I'm flattered.'

The first time this happened I was also at the same job but in a different place. I was working all alone and was quite bored and cold. Well a guy came up to me and we started chatting about things. He was turning to go and I told him to have a good night.

He said 'O, I will my friends and I are going to see a movie, would you like to come'

I politely declined saying that I was working late. He came back with:

'ok, but how about some other time this week, I would love to take you out.'

Rather taken aback, I made the excuse that I was working late all week and wouldn't be able to. He said he understood and and we parted then.

The kicker is that I'm 22 and he was about 55. If I was his age and gay I might have gone for it but unfortuantley for him I am not.

I have been hit on a few times,

The first time was in Kuala Lumpur, completely unexpected. I was buying DVD's(yes the pirated kind sorry..) and when i turned round there was this Chinese dude, slightly taller than myself(5'10) and wearing what i thought at the time as weird clothes, which were probably really fashionable. But he was asking me where i was from, what i was doing, he even tried to invite himself out with myself and my friends that evening. I actually just told him to leave me alone, he wouldnt until i gave him my number, i gave him some BS number and he tried to call it there and then, obviously my phone didnt ring, and he got the picture. But it was only that evening when i was told by my friends that he was hitting on me. I didnt like it and to be honest it must be tough on girls when they get hit on by blokes. At least if there had been a problem and this guy had really given me trouble i could have smacked him in the face or something...

The most unsettling time though was in germnay at a live gig. There was this bloke with short "pink" hair, and built like a bear. Anyway long story short and all, myself and some friends were checking out the pics taken that evening on the web, and lo and behold there is a pic of him checking out my ass, about as creepy as you get and caught on camera...

Also it is interesting that you guys accept drinks from men. I dont want to sterotype gay men but of the 99% of decent honest gay guys out there, there will be that one percent who will offer to buy you a drink and then spike it. As a rule i buy my drinks and then watch it as best i can.

I get hit on by gay men sometimes. There are these two gay waiters that hit on me at this one restaurant i attend about three times a week. It is very flattering to me that men of the same sex would find me attractive and i have always been open to the idea that one day i might discover i like men. I am not gay as far ass i know but i still have much of my life to live so who knows what will come up. I am always very respectful to men trying to hit on me because it seems the same as a girl who is trying also. Everyone is undeniably a person and human being and whether or not we like penis or vagina does not matter. The funniest part about it was the waiter who always hits on me kind of checked me out the first time i went in there and it was news years and since i am a regular customer of the restaurant they treat me extremely well. I tipped the guy more than the bill cost and since then he has been so sweet to me I dont give a rats ass if he wants to bone me or just talk to me. He seems like a very nice sincere person so his sexuality doesnt affect the way we chat.

I was on a flight from Tokyo to Detroit - 12 hours long...The guy a seat over from me starts with the typical small talk about work...traveling abroad...etc. Somehow after about 2 hours of back and forth banter...he transitions into his love life and a sob story about his lover cheating on him. I listen intently...actually a good story about catching his lover in the act! Well being the typical male...I'm thinking woman right...wrong! The light actually goes on when he describes the fact that "they" weren't both using condoms and how that bothered him as much as the infidelity. Now, I'm trying to figure out a way to back pedal out of this whole conversation and distance myself from him....(because I'm picking up vibes...I don't want to be picking up!) So, I try to be polite and tell him how awful that is and that I had also been cheated on at one point in my life...and I know how that feels. Well, based on my remarks he interpeted that I was interested in him....and the next thing I knew he was asking for my phone number and if I would be interested in going out with him? (Talk about uncomfortable...I still had 7 hours of flight time left and wasn't sure how this would resolve itself.) So, I told him that I was flattered, but that I was straight. He responded, that he thought I might have been gay because I was such a good listener and had such a nice caring demeanor. I thanked him again and we continued our conversations like nothing had happend. Of course I tell my wife the story, and she just laughs..."Sure you can listen and console a gay guy...and you can't even listen to me for 10 minutes!"

Ive only had it happen a few times but while it was somewhat uncomfortable, it was still flattering. Even though they might not be my "cup of tea" it is still nice to know someone with interrest in guys finds me attractive.

:lol::lol::lol:

Asta!!

Back in high school a (male) friend and I always used to go to a restaurant because it had amazingly good Cajun food, which made it pretty much one of a kind in that area.

The waiters always seemed awfully..friendly. I finally figured out something was going on when one pretty obviously gay waiter said "Have a nice night, you two", and then "I'll see you later, big guy" to me as we were leaving. After that I mentioned it to some friends who were like "That place is like the main gay hangout in this town, didn't you know?!" Uhh, nope.

We still went there, but started bringing along female friends to help fend off the wait staff. :p

^ haha I'd prolly be totally oblivious to that sort of thing also.

Asta!!

Haha, I rarely get hit on at all.

One of my friends though, did hit on me. I thought it was really flattering. I'm not into guys at all (or at least not him, hmm) but it was a bit of an ego-booster. Yeah, I suppose this could mean that I look gay, since very, very few women hit on me, but... that's a chance I guess I'm willing to take. I enjoy dressing well and wearing what I think looks good.

If he kept pressuring me about it, that may strain the friendship, but we're still good friends, as good as we were before. Maybe it's just my circle though, we're remarkably open people.

Not so much me, but when my SO first moved to New Mexico from Utah, all the gay men in the performing arts dept. of our high school were literally taking bets as to when we would find out he was gay. No one won it. There was this time that we were in a video store and the checker was so obviously checking him out and he thought that he was looking at him to try to figure out "what kind of guy" I would be with. That made me laugh so hard. I still tease him about.

Had a guy following me around in a club once for about half an hour... 30 seconds of "idle chit chat" then asking for my number or email adress... had to threaten him when he came after me to the toilet though, it was getting very creepy...

another club, some guy grabbed me, kissed me on the cheek and gave me an invitation to an after part "in case im interested".

and the occasionnal compliment.

its always flattering, though. its a compliment.

I dont know if I'd call it being hit on but...

I had a friend who lived in Kansas City for a couple years, then he moved to DC. I went up to KC to see a concert with my g/f at the time, and wanted to go out afterward but didn't have anyone to go with. I called my friend in DC and he told me a friend of his would probably go out with us, and gave me his number. I'd met the guy before, and knew he was gay, but I didn't care, he was funny as shit and I had my g/f with me, so I figured he wouldn't fuck with me too much. I was wrong. Throughout the night, he kept making suggestions, and even tried to grab my cock once or twice. It got to the point where I didn't know if he was kidding or not. Either way, if he was hitting on me, whatever, he knew where I stood, and we had a good time.

Damn you single people.
Enjoy all the hitting on you can by either gender.
Im married and I like girls, but I dont get hit on by many
girls. Plus the fact Im toting a toddler around with me most of the time
probably doesnt help me much. I gave up on seeing anyone ever even giving
me the 2nd glance at the mall, except older creepy guys. That stoller is like the
antisexual. You have to like sex to have it enough to get pregnant.

I've been hit on by a guy once. He was a close friend of a close friend, and I ended up staying at his place for drinks a couple of times after our common friend had left. So once he started asking me about my sexual experiences (I was a virgin back then), so he started talking about how I should try things, etc; and sex isn't necessarily penetration, there's other stuff like blowjobs and rimming, etc.. Then he started telling me that he could help me hook up with some girls he knew.. Then he said, pretending to be charitable, "You know what, I could just do it myself, I could give you a blowjob, give you some experience".. To which I replied no thanks.. the conversation didn't last long after that, then he dropped me off at home. He never was as friendly to me after that, though I didn't really change my behavior towards him..

Anyway, like many people have said in this thread, it was flattering. And, though I'm straight, perhaps under the right circumstances I could've been persuaded to experiment with someone I felt comfortable with, but I didn't trust that guy so much, and he just wasn't attractive enough :lol:

It's happened a couple of times to me, but one time was particularly funny/wierd. The phone rang and it was a wrong number. The guy then says, "Well you have a nice voice, do you want to talk for a while?" I'll give it to that guy though, he had some balls to be so forward to a person he found off of a wrong number.

^ You THINK he found a wrong number but in truth he was stalking you! :hmm:

Asta!!

It all makes sense now! :eek:

Aside from the Red Sox failing and taxes, the one constant in my brief 28 years has been gay guys hitting on me. I'm not sure exactly what "it" is about my appearance or my personality but I would guesstimate that I'm approached or flirted with at least once a month.

Now, I normally take it as a compliment and quickly defuse the situation but there have been times where the guy will get aggressive. Case in point: My sister and her new baby came into town a few weeks ago and I decided to take her to restaurant in downtown Phoenix. I work at the state capitol and one of the senators owns a restaurant near-by, so I decided to take her there. I was dressed up for work (suit, silk tie, polished shoes, etc) and met my sister down at the restaurant. Unfortunately, I was the first to arrive down there and asked to be seated while I waited for her to show up. Immediately after I sat down, the waiter comes runnning over take my drink order and then lingers there for a moment, trying to make eye contact with me and then left. Before he could get back with the drink, my sister shows up. Now, one would think that if a guy is there with a woman and she has a newborn in tow that that guy is probably not gay. Nope, for some odd reason he kept making passes at me, so obvious that my sister started poking fun at me. Finally, after eating, I get the check, pay with a credit card and get a copy of the CC receipt complete with the waiter's phone number on it. I suppose I wouldn't mind this attention if, A) I was gay, or B) some girl, any girl would be this friendly/aggressive towards me.

The one thing I can take away from this constant is that I have learned to truly sympathize with our lady friends who probably have to deal with this sort of harrassment nearly every day.

Any how, that's my story.

Well, I wound up at an after-bar party this weekend and... after I looked around, I noticed there weren't really any girls there. Boy, did I get hit on alot. "Are you SURE you're not gay." I was asked about 6 times. Funny. I guess I'll have to ask more questions about the next party I get invited to.

I never have but my friend came close one time...no it really was my friend, not me saying "my friend" and meaning me lol. My friend visited me at school to work security at this event and somehow wound up arm wrestling this gay guy. I don't remember which one of them won but my friend said "Yeah, I've got a big cock," to the gay guy and he sorta just made a weird face and then walked away. I was seriously waiting for the gay guy to start flirting with my friend even just jokingly but didn't. My friend had no idea the guy was gay lol.

Yep, well I think so, by a old work collegue, was never quite sure if he was serious or just messing around.

I was actually sexually assaulted by another man when I was a freshman in college. I did something that was bad enough to get my ass bounced from school and got caught by a student patrol. The guy was probably a junior or senior. When he and his partner caught me, the other guy was told to go away, that he'd "handle it". Then he calmly explained that I had some options, and I could let him blow me or get kicked from school.

Well, by the time my pants were dropped, I kicked him in the stomach with the point of my foot and told him that we could forget that this ever happened, or I could go to public safety and file assault charges, then go to the university to file harassment charges. He told me to get the fuck away while he was gasping for air...glad I had pants around my ankles, cuz I would have probably driven my foot right through him otherwise. I don't think I've been horribly scarred because of that experience...but it was scary as hell for a 17-yr old guy from a rural community.

On a much lighter note, I was a cheerleader in college. As luck would have it, a cheerleader that had left the squad looked a lot like me, and shared the same name. He was widely reputed to be gay, or at least bi. There were often cases of mistaken identity. The best of those was when I was at a fraternity party. There I was with all my friends, wearing my cheerleading squad jacket and drinking my face off. A girl across the room caught my eye because she had on a very tight shirt with many buttons up the front, and it accentuated a VERY large chest.

Well, I was quite entranced for the whole party because every time I caught site of her again, she had unbuttoned a button, until a very generous amount of cleavage was exposed. After a couple hours of this, I was standing with my friends when she came over and started dancing pretty close to me. Pretty soon, her dancing became more of a "standing lap dance" on my crotch, at which point it dawned on me that she might be interested in me. I should point out that I was always very clueless with the ladies - they always had to hit me over the head, because I would miss all the "signals".

Anyhow, we ended up having sex at her place, then walking to my place for more sex. Then we hooked up the next night for more sex. Then we broke it off. Turns out she had seen me and mentioned to her friends that I was cute, only to hear that I was that "gay cheerleader" and that she had no chance. She then bet her friends that she could get me interested, which leads to the events I described above with her magically unbuttoning shirt!

That was one experience where being identified as gay really helped me out!

^ You lucky lucky lucky bastard! Was it everything I've dreamed about?

Asta!!

I had my brother's friend say he thought I was gay cause I had short hair...and I never got hit on with the short hair, so I guess some other people might have assumed the same thing...but I don't think a girl ever actually hit on me.
Then, the minute my hair reaches shoulder lenth, bam, I get a b/f.

Yea, that actually was a good story from my college years. I have a bunch of them, although 99.9% don't involve me getting laid, because I spent most of my time in relationships.

Of course, I would have lots more stories to tell if I hadn't passed out so often while drinking...

She was also on the university's student council during the next year. It was funny reading about her in the paper and thinking, "Yea, I've been there, done that."

But enough thread hijacking - this is about non-hetero encounters, or near-encounters :-P

:)

I have a story to contribute: I was hit on once way back in college. This guy, who was black and weighed about 250 pounds invited me to a gay & lesbian film festival. I declined, saying that didn't interest me. Then he wanted to know if I had a girlfriend, and at the time I didn't, therefore he thought it was open season!

Apparently he thought homosexuality was like religion, and could "convert" people if he could present it logically. He tried explaining that if the room is dark, and you can't tell if a girl or guy is blowing you, then it doesn't make a difference. He was somewhat aggressive in pushing the fact that it shouldn't be knocked if it hasn't been tried.

Not being swayed by his sense of logic, I remained loyal to being heterosexual. He finally ended the conversation by asking if I wanted to know if he found me attractive. I declined once more, because:

1- If he said I was attractive, I'd feel even more creeped out.

2- On the flip side, if he said I wasn't his type, then I'd feel insulted at having been rejected by the other 50% of the population. :rolleyes:

The shame of it is that he was a decent fellow, really. As soon as the conversation went THAT way, though, it made me glad I wasn't in prison.

Oh, I thought that said "sans huevos". Good idea, bumping this thread. Crazy & not at all logical. I'm not qualified to comment here.

Once or twice, never got further than a surprisingly non-awkward "Not gay - my bad" exchange. Personally I usually just took it as a compliment.

Great thread bump!

I've actually been hit on way more by guys than by girls. Apparently there is a type of gay subculture that calls big, kind of hairy guys like me "bears," and thinks they are the bomb.

I found this out many years ago, during college, when I had a summer job at a bookstore on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. I used to take my dinner breaks out on the Promenade, to watch the buskers and whatnot, and almost every day without fail, I'd get hit on by some guy, usually kinda ripped and blond, surfer types. I'm sure if I were gay they'd be awesome. And I took it as a compliment, and was always polite when I told them I wasn't interested. But it did kind of get to me that there was this stream of dudes, and I couldn't seem to get a chick to look at me.

Finally, toward the end of the summer, this one dude hit on me and I actually said, "Look, man, I'm really flattered, but I'm not gay. But listen-- you see that girl over there, with the red hair and the tight jeans? Whatever it is that you see in me...could you go tell her about it?"

He laughed, and took it in good form. I wish he'd told that girl, though. She was smokin' hot.

I grew up Long Beach, CA, I was a teenager in the 80's. Long Beach has and had a very large gay population. It also apparently has a very large gay pedophile population as well. I got hit on, by middle aged men at least 3 or 4 times a year from the time I was 12 until I left when I was 21.That was pretty creepy. The guys my age that hit on me didn't creep me out in the least, I wasn't interested, but that didn't mean I couldn't be that persons friend.

My self esteem!

This has never happened to me. I don't know... is that bad?

I assume it is because women generally don't find me attractive.

i's be more interested in gay people talking about being hit on by straight people. reckon there would be a lot better stories in that

Having a non-trivial number of gay friends the answer is not really. With them it's more sad at how disrespectful some people can be, most interesting stories are just asshole stories about people that are convinced they can "convert" or "fix" them.

In this day and age, I think if you characterize it as anything more than someone you're not attracted to hitting on you, it's kind of... old-fashioned. Can I gently suggest: if you think it somehow denigrates your masculinity, or is some kind of insult, well, you're not really getting where it's coming from - that response is all about you and your stereotypes and has nothing to do with where the impulse came from to make the comment in the first place. Attraction works the same for straights and gays, for the most part. The same people are often hot to both. Hence it's pretty much a compliment and it's good to be nice and polite about it as you decline, or indicate a lack of reciprocation, what-have-you.

I've had gay friends of many stripes, and have been hit on various times by members of the pink team (I'm apparently the "bear" type <guffaw>), and I'm comfortable enough with my own identity to have fun and even tease a little, just for fun, while maintaining a 100% confidence in my sexuality. It takes a while to get there, but you need to start opening your mind, if it makes you really uncomfortable.

For your consideration, respectfully. ;)

EDIT: Plah, so I'm responding to a 6-yr-old thread? LOL, gotta stop doing my reading here at 1 in the morning. Also didn't see p.2. Retiring....
EDIT 2: On Sheepy's angle, I have actually successfully hit on an avowed lesbian (she was surprised she responded), and recently found out the girl I had a crush on in junior high wound up coming out later for the pink team -- that explains her indifference <holds head in hands>.

A bi-sexual woman tried it on with me at a party - can I borrow your lighter (which was on my lap) and she picked it up with a brush of the hand. I was uncomfortable - I was in the middle of skinning up - and she did try everyone of every gender - nobody finds the desperate attractive I think.
We did know a chap who was so far in denial..... he told us when he went to the states he got picked up by a football coach who shoved a dildo up his arse and it hurt. My friend said how much did he shove in. answer All of it. BUT he insisted he was straight. His denial about who he was may have prompted his alcohol fueled woman beating. He could take on papillions - kicked his girlfriends one across the room. Thankfully she dumped him - which is more than she did when a beating left her peeing blood. Nice lady, deserved better. Whatever you are, you should be true to yourself. A wonderfull compliment from a gay friend when we were on the tube in a group, I had been nodding off and he thought I was asleep. He said to one of his friends (who had a crush on him) 'If I was straight, I would marry her'. I took that as a compliment. Never told him I had heard it.
Had a chap in the pub I worked in who couldnt work out why when he was being friendly and playing pool with guys and drinking with them, they got upset when he said he was going home to his wife and his dinner.
Well, we said. You are wearing a lumberjack shirt, have a flat top. Man comes over to you, offers you a drink, spends the next couple of hours playing and watching you lean over a pool table buying you more drinks - of course they are upset - you have been leading them on. hee hee
It wasnt that it was a one off - it was a regular occurance. Pretty boy, but not totaly bright.

Short and simple. I like it.