Guy from an internet site......... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Batski · 01-12-2005, 10:11 AM

yes........ I'm been talking online with a guy for about six months. Next month he is in my town.
He wants to meet.
Can I ask those of you that have experience: do people you meet feel similar in Real Life as they do online, or have you had some .....er..surprises...

ShaniFaye · 01-12-2005, 10:14 AM

you might try reading this thread where some people have talked about it

Meeting from the Net
this was my response...

Quote:

The last guy I went out with from the internet, when I was just looking for a "friend with benefits", showed up for our first date in a tshirt that said "sleeps well with others", gave me my first multiorgasmic experience the same nite, told me the next morning he never wanted to wake up without me again, moved in with me after dating a month, and has been glued to my side every single day for the last year and 3 months (unless he was out of town working), and now we're engaged to be married in Oct 2005 and his entire family is infatuated with me <http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/images/smilies/crazy.gif>

damn internet dating....

ahahahaha and most of you know how much in love we are and that I thank God everyday that my trashy wanton ways brought me such a man as I never thought I deserved.

Averett · 01-12-2005, 10:19 AM

Okay. I've met 3 people who I knew online. One of them, well, it was just a stupid decision. But it was a learning experience. The second one I went out to visit twice. He remains a really good friend of mine, and I'm glad to have met him. I wouldn't be surprised if we have the chance to hang out again.

The third ended up becoming my boyfriend. We met here on TFP and he offered to take me on a date when I was in his area for a concert. We ended up getting along very well, so we pursued a relationship that is still going strong after 6ish months.

As for the people being similar... it's a toss up really. It all depends on how you act online. If you're just as you are in person, then you should be fine. But it can be a bit awkward. It might take awhile for you to be comfortable with him.

So anyway, if you want to meet him, then go ahead. I'd suggest staying in public places, but I didn't exactly follow those rules, so just trust your gut and get out of there if the guy seems like he's a bit instable...

Also, discuss any expectations you two might have. He might be going into it lookin to get laid, and you might just want to get a cup of coffee with this guy you chat with. Or vice versa

Batski · 01-12-2005, 10:24 AM

ah - that's so nice.......that's reassuring.
I have mentioned that we may very well not be attracted to each other in RL, but I do think he is just a guy who will be happy to get laid in a strange city.... and I dont know how I feel about that.

Averett · 01-12-2005, 10:27 AM

Since you sound a bit wary, I'd suggest meeting up for drinks/coffee/dinner. (be sure to keep an eye on your drink at all times and all that safe stuff

) If you get along, then you've always got the option of inviting him back to your place

Sage · 01-12-2005, 10:35 AM

ugh- internet dating...
the first guy was when i was at boarding school my junior year of HS-he was from the university down the street and was totally looking to get laid..
second guy was that same year, from another HS down the road- he came for the valintine's day dance at school- my friends are STILL (6 years later) teasing me about what a bad dancer he was...
last guy was about two years ago, i saw pix, thought he was cute, he was nice online, we got along well....
he was hairy like a BABOON! and had been beaten with the ugly stick....

if you were yourself online, and he was too, then you shouldn't have any problems.

Martel and I went to boarding school together and didn't see each other the first two and a half years of college, but we talked online. throught being honest while talking, we devoloped the foundation of our friendship and love, and are now married

so don't pin your heart on your sleeve, but hope for the best!!

good luck!

Halx · 01-12-2005, 11:50 PM

The most important thing is to outline the boundaries of your relationship at this very moment. Be VERY blunt and upfront. Leave no question. I've seen too many meetings (through the stories of friends) go wacky when one person assumes the other is game for things they are not.

Konichiwaneko · 01-12-2005, 11:54 PM

up until Kara, if I met someone online I would eventually end up hooking up with their friend. It wasn't like the person I met was suppose to hook up, actually I've never really pursued anyone online at all.

Kara met me online, and she was my first girlfriend I met online. THat was a disaster only because of distance.

Meeting people online isn't a problem at all, and honestly I think it's probably my only way to meet girls now. I've gotten terribly shy for some reason the last few years, I guess subconciouslly my esteem has been shattered from breakup after breakup. Now I really don't even want something as much as someone to listen too and talk too. So I think an online persona would be pretty ideal for me compared to meeting people face to face.

bad jane · 01-15-2005, 01:45 AM

my experiences have all been great, but we were all honest with each other online so meeting in person wasn't a bit awkward. i'm always a little nervous at first because you don't know someone has been honest with you until you actually meet up with them. i can see how it would be very easy for such a meeting to be a complete disaster.

i'd suggest all the normal safety precautions--stay in crowded places, meet there and have your own transportation and cash, make sure someone knows where you'll be and establish a check-in time (you call after an hour or whatever so they know things are ok, if not, they call you and if no answer they call the police), keep an eye on your drink...you know, all the things that make dating fun and romantic in this day and age!

also not a bad idea to have a friend go with you to meet up with him at first. if things are going well, your friend can get lost and check in with you later. this may make it easier for you in the event he's not the person he said he was online or the meeting is just too awkward. plus, in the event the guy is evil and something happened to you, there's someone who can provide a description of him.

Kitenn Kaboodle · 01-16-2005, 01:38 PM

I met my husband online in an mmorpg, we talked for 2 months before we met face to face, we talked every single day almost from the first time we met in the game. I was from Canada, but we had feelings for eachother so he came up to visit me for 10 around my birthday, we stayed in a very nice Hotel.

Except for being a giant, he was exactly everything he appeared to be. Honest, funny, handsome, dorky haha, he'll kill me for that but we're both geeks, so WTH right.

Two weeks later I moved to the USA and four years later we haven been happily married for 3 years and together for 4 in March. He's not the first person I met from the internet, but the only one worth talking about.

There are some people out there who just want to take advantage and will smooze you into believing whatever they tell you. You just need to look into thier face normally and you know for sure.

Arsenic7 · 01-16-2005, 02:01 PM

I imagine it can't be any worse than a blind date.

noodles · 01-16-2005, 04:38 PM

indeed.
i've met lots of people i know online in person. none of whom i've dated, though. friends only.

i wouldn't take this any differently than a blind date, or one from a dating service. meet in a public place, maybe for lunch/dinner/coffee/etc (avoid alone time, even in a theater or soemthing initially), keep it casual, and test the waters. before the date is over, however, make sure to make a decision and lay down the rules of the relationship. if you're interested in friendship, dating, one nighter, or for them to just leave you the hell alone, MAKE IT CLEAR.

*Nikki* · 01-16-2005, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halx

The most important thing is to outline the boundaries of your relationship at this very moment. Be VERY blunt and upfront. Leave no question. I've seen too many meetings (through the stories of friends) go wacky when one person assumes the other is game for things they are not.

Amen to that my friend.

01-12-2005, 10:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
Batski Tilted Location: LOndon	Guy from an internet site......... yes........ I'm been talking online with a guy for about six months. Next month he is in my town. He wants to meet. Can I ask those of you that have experience: do people you meet feel similar in Real Life as they do online, or have you had some .....er..surprises...

01-12-2005, 10:19 AM	#3 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Okay. I've met 3 people who I knew online. One of them, well, it was just a stupid decision. But it was a learning experience. The second one I went out to visit twice. He remains a really good friend of mine, and I'm glad to have met him. I wouldn't be surprised if we have the chance to hang out again. The third ended up becoming my boyfriend. We met here on TFP and he offered to take me on a date when I was in his area for a concert. We ended up getting along very well, so we pursued a relationship that is still going strong after 6ish months. As for the people being similar... it's a toss up really. It all depends on how you act online. If you're just as you are in person, then you should be fine. But it can be a bit awkward. It might take awhile for you to be comfortable with him. So anyway, if you want to meet him, then go ahead. I'd suggest staying in public places, but I didn't exactly follow those rules, so just trust your gut and get out of there if the guy seems like he's a bit instable... Also, discuss any expectations you two might have. He might be going into it lookin to get laid, and you might just want to get a cup of coffee with this guy you chat with. Or vice versa __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

01-12-2005, 10:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Since you sound a bit wary, I'd suggest meeting up for drinks/coffee/dinner. (be sure to keep an eye on your drink at all times and all that safe stuff ) If you get along, then you've always got the option of inviting him back to your place __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

01-12-2005, 11:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	The most important thing is to outline the boundaries of your relationship at this very moment. Be VERY blunt and upfront. Leave no question. I've seen too many meetings (through the stories of friends) go wacky when one person assumes the other is game for things they are not. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

01-12-2005, 11:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	up until Kara, if I met someone online I would eventually end up hooking up with their friend. It wasn't like the person I met was suppose to hook up, actually I've never really pursued anyone online at all. Kara met me online, and she was my first girlfriend I met online. THat was a disaster only because of distance. Meeting people online isn't a problem at all, and honestly I think it's probably my only way to meet girls now. I've gotten terribly shy for some reason the last few years, I guess subconciouslly my esteem has been shattered from breakup after breakup. Now I really don't even want something as much as someone to listen too and talk too. So I think an online persona would be pretty ideal for me compared to meeting people face to face. __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.

01-12-2005, 10:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
Batski Tilted Location: LOndon	ah - that's so nice.......that's reassuring. I have mentioned that we may very well not be attracted to each other in RL, but I do think he is just a guy who will be happy to get laid in a strange city.... and I dont know how I feel about that.

01-12-2005, 10:35 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	ugh- internet dating... the first guy was when i was at boarding school my junior year of HS-he was from the university down the street and was totally looking to get laid.. second guy was that same year, from another HS down the road- he came for the valintine's day dance at school- my friends are STILL (6 years later) teasing me about what a bad dancer he was... last guy was about two years ago, i saw pix, thought he was cute, he was nice online, we got along well.... he was hairy like a BABOON! and had been beaten with the ugly stick.... if you were yourself online, and he was too, then you shouldn't have any problems. Martel and I went to boarding school together and didn't see each other the first two and a half years of college, but we talked online. throught being honest while talking, we devoloped the foundation of our friendship and love, and are now married so don't pin your heart on your sleeve, but hope for the best!! good luck!

01-15-2005, 01:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	my experiences have all been great, but we were all honest with each other online so meeting in person wasn't a bit awkward. i'm always a little nervous at first because you don't know someone has been honest with you until you actually meet up with them. i can see how it would be very easy for such a meeting to be a complete disaster. i'd suggest all the normal safety precautions--stay in crowded places, meet there and have your own transportation and cash, make sure someone knows where you'll be and establish a check-in time (you call after an hour or whatever so they know things are ok, if not, they call you and if no answer they call the police), keep an eye on your drink...you know, all the things that make dating fun and romantic in this day and age! also not a bad idea to have a friend go with you to meet up with him at first. if things are going well, your friend can get lost and check in with you later. this may make it easier for you in the event he's not the person he said he was online or the meeting is just too awkward. plus, in the event the guy is evil and something happened to you, there's someone who can provide a description of him.

01-16-2005, 01:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
Kitenn Kaboodle Upright	I met my husband online in an mmorpg, we talked for 2 months before we met face to face, we talked every single day almost from the first time we met in the game. I was from Canada, but we had feelings for eachother so he came up to visit me for 10 around my birthday, we stayed in a very nice Hotel. Except for being a giant, he was exactly everything he appeared to be. Honest, funny, handsome, dorky haha, he'll kill me for that but we're both geeks, so WTH right. Two weeks later I moved to the USA and four years later we haven been happily married for 3 years and together for 4 in March. He's not the first person I met from the internet, but the only one worth talking about. There are some people out there who just want to take advantage and will smooze you into believing whatever they tell you. You just need to look into thier face normally and you know for sure.

01-16-2005, 02:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
Arsenic7 Insane Location: Corvallis, OR.	I imagine it can't be any worse than a blind date. __________________ This is no sig.

01-16-2005, 04:38 PM	#12 (permalink)
noodles Psycho Location: sc	indeed. i've met lots of people i know online in person. none of whom i've dated, though. friends only. i wouldn't take this any differently than a blind date, or one from a dating service. meet in a public place, maybe for lunch/dinner/coffee/etc (avoid alone time, even in a theater or soemthing initially), keep it casual, and test the waters. before the date is over, however, make sure to make a decision and lay down the rules of the relationship. if you're interested in friendship, dating, one nighter, or for them to just leave you the hell alone, MAKE IT CLEAR.