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Old 01-09-2005, 12:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: France
Sensitivity Issue

OK, so me and my girlfriend have been having sex for almost a year now...
She was my first..
The problem is...she's not able to make me cum with her own skills (which are very good I can asure you )...
It feels great when she gives me head, but I need to jack off my own self to get myself to an orgasm and cum.
Anyone have ideas on how to get me to cum faster and to increase sentivity??
This has started to become problematic, she feels sad because she feels she's not good enough..etc.
But I am concious the problem is originating from me and I want to fix it.
help...
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Old 01-09-2005, 12:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Can you describe how exactly she does it?
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Old 01-09-2005, 01:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I don't think it's matters how she's doing it. I'd guess that you're right in guessing that the problem is coming from you If you were to look at posts similar to this around here, youd find that people gave similar advice. Stop masturbating. Her hands/mouth/feet/elbows/whatever are going to give a much different senstation than your hands would. Most likely a bit more gentle than you are. And you're just used to how you do it.

It's not that this is a problem that you or her have, it's just a little difference between things. So stop masturbating for a few weeks, and you'll get that sensation back
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Old 01-09-2005, 01:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I agree with Averett, keep your hands away from yourself for a while. Let her be the one to finish the job, even if it isn't that night. You will eventually build heightened nerve sensations in the head of your penis and you will orgasm when you get back together. Give it a try.
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Old 01-09-2005, 01:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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^^Yeah try that. If that doesn't work then maybe it's some sort of mental blocking. You could try masturbating while she's present and when you feel like you're about to come then try let her finish it. Perhaps that'll help? Just an idea
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Old 01-09-2005, 01:52 PM   #6 (permalink)
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does she include jacking you off as part of her routine? There are sometimes that my mouth gets tired for whatever reason and I will finish up that way, or I will do it inbetween it being in my mouth as a teaser or a break for me or a way to move him along faster. Or I will have the head of his dick in my mouth sucking and be jacking the shaft at the same time.
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Old 01-09-2005, 02:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I think you just need to chill out and not worry so much about it. Just try and be detached and enjoy the sensations, and let yourself go.
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Old 01-09-2005, 03:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I've never been able to cum from oral. I don't consider it a problem. I just prefer other things. Like vagina, for example.
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Old 01-09-2005, 03:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I think that using a hand is an important part of a BJ. Just make an "O" with your hand, or the first finger, and thumb. Then as you slide your mouth down the shaft and up onto the head, have that "O" guiding the mouth, applying the same pressure, up and down, up and down, slowly at first, bringing the hand all the way over the top at times to stroke the head, then plunging back down with your mouth and hand again. You want to create a rythme.

*This is all after a significant amount of fondling and teasing to the shaft, and especially the head and the back of the head.

Technique takes time to perfect, in my opinion.
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Old 01-09-2005, 03:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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i dont understand why you guys complain from not cumming from a bj, if i could last more than 5 minutes getting one i would be so happy (not that im complaining, a good bj is still a good bj)
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Old 01-09-2005, 04:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Y'know, it's more than technique. Because I can give the same supposedly high-quality BJ to two different guys and get two completely different results--taker 1 won't shoot his load and taker 2 will. Identical BJs, different recipients. Some people just have the need for more sensation than a BJ provides, or longer duration, or whatever. Some guys have a mental block up thinking that because they've NEVER come from oral they NEVER will--that's crap, I've proven a couple of dudes wrong on that score.

Eliminate mental obstacles and let her improve her technique. Go a week without masturbating. See which options work and which do not. Perhaps you think because you haven't come with her you won't or can't come. Orgasms are tricky business; they do not like mental opposition of ANY kind. So once you eliminate those barriers and really give her a chance...you should be fine.
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Old 01-09-2005, 08:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Good point owl. Here's an interesting comment I found today:

This is proably like preaching to the choir but here goes. There are a couple of things that make it more enjoyable. I think someone said but it is ATTITUDE. Nothing worse than a woman doing it because see feels obligated and she does not seem like she is enjoying it. Spoils the whole experience for me. Now if she seems like she is doing for her enjoyment too And dont rush me to orgasm, I want teasing and a slow buildup. I like it when she gets me so sensitive that every little action sends shockwaves through my body. Again, a very slow buildup to orgasm. I like variety. Sucking, licking, stroking etc. Sometimes she takes me in her mouth and sucks very hard, that is a great feeling, but is not something that will make me cum. great to use in the buildup phase. Then when its time she wraps her hand around my shaft and jacks me while sucking the head. The rythm becomes important to me. if she doesnt want to swallow then a great treat is for me to cum on her but I leave it up to her where she wants it. a big turnoff is if she acts like my cum is gross and has to cleanup right away. a great turn on is to watch her rub it in. I dont think there is one blueprint on how to do it. Well that's a few of MY dos and don'ts.
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Old 01-09-2005, 08:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Are you taking any medications? I am currently Lexapro (Escitalopram) among other things. Lexapro as well as other SSRIs (Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa) have a lot of sexual side effects. I have a problem with ejaculation. It takes FOREVER. The only way I can come is when I do it myself. My GF starts me with a BJ and then I have to finish it myself. I almost get lightheaded because I work so hard at it. I know its not her because I came almost right away before I started taking the Lexapro. Sex doesnt do anthing either. I am on edge almost all the time and it feels great, but I can last longer than Ron Jeremy. Usually I need to finish myself manually after sex.

I also agree that hands should be used during a BJ...
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Old 01-10-2005, 02:00 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I agree with Averette... I had a similar problem because I had been with the same girl for almost 2 years and while we were together I never mastrubated and the sex was fucking AMAZING... however when we broke up I replaced a relationship with mastrubation for a very long time... then it took several trys with a new girl to make things work correctly... so give up on the self-pleasuring for a while....
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Old 01-10-2005, 03:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: France
thank you for these posts...
ok so lemme explain the situation more in-depth..
My girlfriend NEVER makes it seem like giving me head is annoying or something she has to do...
She's usually the one to jump on me and undo the jeans in a couple of seconds, and put as much as she can (when we're horny) or we can be lying in bed...and just caressing eachothers body and she'll give the more sensual blowjob...but I've never felt that she disliked giving me head...She'd even do it after I pulled the rubber off (lubricated) without me asking her..
So yeah, I get super turned on but I think it's like Averett said, I jack off too much (probably true, the EZ rocks my world) But at the same time its hard not to when I only get to see her on the weekends...Rough days of work in college and all, makes you wanna relieve the pressure with some time with myself...hah.
but I guess I'll take some good measures..
I will not jack off from this day on...unless I know I'm not seeing my girlfriend in like 3 weeks or something. (some ppl must be like but you don't know how much I'm addicted to masturbation )
I tried doing a week once without cumming, but I did masturbate, but that won't help because it won't get me more sensitivity..
Once again, the problem is entirely coming from me. She rocks at everything sex, I just know it.
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Old 02-02-2005, 04:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
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lol i'm the girlfriend (isnt he a doll?!! ) hes gotten more sensitive..but i've pretty much realized ..well why should i care? i'm not too loose, i'm attractive, i know he loves me...and ahem..at least this way he can go as long as i want..tho eventually if we want to have kids the whole haveing to shove it in at the last second..thats weird..hopefully if he learns to not play with himself so much i'll be able to finish him..and yea..i use my hands..and teeth and every part of my body in every way..and even being rough..i even spoke to my mother (shes a therapist) about it (yes that was a very odd coversation-dont ask) she says its a combination of mind AND body..lol double the work
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