aa1037

so yea i just got back from drinkin with this girl...only problem is, she has a boyfriend, we're both a lil drunk BUT I don't know what to say to her to let her know how I feel, plus I'm not a dick enough to say anything directly...any suggestions?

KirStang

Sorry Bud, let this one go for now.

aa1037

yea i prob should being since we were both drinkin tonight but their relationship doesn't appear to be that serious. i think i'll just keep my current friendship with her and put the ball in her court i guess

KirStang

I feel your pain dude . There are other girls out there, keep this one as a girl-friends, who could be something more, but in the meantime, you're better off returning to fishing. There is so much potential for heartbreak, drama, and other things you don't want if you try it out w/ her.

MiSo

pushing up on another dude's girl is a big no-no.
a serious relationship cannot start out like that.
just wait it out.....


if anything, you can say something like "you know, if you didnt have a boyfriend yada yada yada.........." only once though.. dont say it like everyday. one time is good enough to put the idea in her head.

but dont go prying yourself into their relationship.

Psycho Dad

Let alone the fact that you don't want to be saying anything whilst you are inebriated.

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Devoid

Man, I hear that. I told way too many girls I liked/loved them while I was drunk. Wait till you're sober if you're serious about it.

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Homey_V

Back off. If its not serious like you said, it'll end eventually. Forking in on another guys girlfriend, serious or not, is not cool.

Just stay friendly, but not too friendly. You dont want to get stuck as just a friend if things do start to go your way.

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FL8ME

All you gotta say is "What your man gotta do with me." But seriously, don't push your luck. You show your hand to early and you're gonna lose. By the way, what's the state of her relationship with her boyfriend?

aa1037

She is not really the type to have a boyfriend, she said to me one time. He's a bit of a tool and sometimes I feel like she complains about him.

Dostoevsky

Yo, let me be the Devil's advocate here for a second because if I were you, I would see exactly how serious she is about this boyfriend. Granted, I'm probably a little more aggressive than the average guy, but I'll push up on another dude's girl in a heartbeat if I like her. Well, as long as I'm not friends with the guy, and even then it's hard for me to restrain myself.

Don't be an asshole or anything, if she isn't feeling you then definetly chill out and let her be. But hell, I would definitely step up and see where her head's at. The worst thing she can say is no, I've heard it before. But honestly, I would rather hear no and move on then to always wonder 'what if,' that's the worst to me.

Seriously, I've had success in the past with this type of behavior. Maybe she's feeling your or is tired of her boyfriend and wants something new. You will never now if you don't make a move man. I think you should step up, just tread a little lightly at first and see what kind of feedback she gives you.

I guess another question you may need to ask yourself is what the chances that her boyfriend can/would whip your ass are. I always forget about that one because...well, it hardly ever applies to be honest.

Good luck and 'keep it pimpin', pimpin'!'

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It is not advisable, James, to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener.

Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

adam

My wife was going out with another guy when I met her (although I didn't know that). She dumped him to go out with me. We've been together over 18 years (married over 15).

If she wants to keep her boyfriend she'll let you know. But it is hardly the case that just because she has a boyfriend she can't be interested in other guys. A lot of boyfriends are placeholders, and are not serious.

tiltedbc

One thing I've learnt about women is that they're often looking for something better and won't break up with one boyfriend until the next one is a lock.

Should you sleep with her? NO! Not yet. Even if she wants to, it's important that you turn sex down because she's involved with someone else. Romance the living hell out of her every other way instead, but keep it secret and easily defended.

If she's interested, she'll respond. If not, wait awhile and see if she just needs a bit of recovery time. Many women don't want to be seen as jumping from one relationship to another, so don't press to action too soon.

aa1037

Yea thanks for all the advice guys! Like someone else mentioned, I quasi-told her how I felt *once* and then laid off. Kinda like "I feel like this and this...but I know you are seein someone"

Just to plant the idea, I guess. We seem to be a lot alike and she does dig me as a friend right now, so I'll just let if flow and see what happens. We're still young here


If it ever came to that through some ridiculous situation, I'm pretty confident I could squash him but I don't feel that way towards him, anyway