Funniest thread I've read in awhile. Lots of great stories

ok, try this one. I was a junior in high school and had finally got my girlfriend in the sack. We were in her bedroom and her parents were out of town (or so I had been led to believe). Well, things were getting pretty acrobatic and all of the sheets were on the floor. She ended up on top of me and was really getting into it, when her bedroom door opens and her dad walks into the room. He looked directly at me and told us to get to the living room. This man was not a fun guy either, an ex-cop (ex because he did something wrong because he had been fired), so naturally both of us fear the worse. My girlfriend jumps off the bed and dresses and leaves the room. I'm standing there with my shirt on and I can't find my pants. I am hunting all over the room for them when he yells out to me to ask what I am waiting for. I then realize that my girlfriend must have put my jeans in her fear, because hers are laying on the ground. I breifly entertain the idea of putting them on, but they don't even remotely come close to fitting me. He yelled out to me again, and I slowly uttered the words which have been burned into my brain.

"I can't come out because Kathy is wearing my pants"

Silence greeted that for about 30 seconds, and then he started laughing.

Now that's pretty funny!!!

I don't know that I've ever been caught, but I could have been...

In college my boyfriend and I were both in summer school. He had a room on campus, and I was staying in a friends apartment. I decided to stay with him one night. He had a roommate as well... Anyway, the beds are side by side, and we had slow sneaky sex, but I'm fairly certian that his roommate woke up at one point.

Months ago I was visiting a friend of mine and we were staying at his friends apartment. My friends roommate was sleeping on the couch, and my friend and I were on this little pull out sofa thingy. One thing led to another and he was begging me to take a trip under the blankets. After not much protest, I relented. At one point I heard some coughing coming from the other side of the room. It was a bit too late to freak out though, and I really didn't care.

Not sure if his roommate woke up, he never said anything about it. Well,not to me anyway.

this thread is hilarious.

closest i came was with my first girlfriend. we were going at it on her bed in her parents' house (we were 17 and 18 then). her room is right next to where the garage is. all of a sudden, amongst her noises, I hear a loud whirring. i call her attention to it, and she yells, "SHIT, GARAGE DOOR!". the door from the garage is about 3 feet from hers. I've never gotten dressed that fast in my entire life.

Also, with my current girlfriend, (i'm back in my parents' house again) there have been a few times where i'll come home from work late at night and find some mail for me on my bed... and i'll look down and on the floor will be several condoms from the night before. I know they know, and that freaks me out. lol

Heh, funny you should mention it, today my mum was cleaning out under my bed and she pulls out a few (unused) condoms (in their wrappers :p) and just hands them to me and says "Those might be useful"

Had no idea they were under there.

Oh also my mum walked in while my gf was gettin' dressed a few weeks ago. Thankfully she's cool and just says "Oops, sorry, I'll leave you too lovebirds alone." :D She didn't notice the lube on the bedside table though :lol:

Got one where "getting caught" really wasn't an option - her friends/co-workers were all in on it!

I was working for an amusement park (I'm not telling which one, but it's in the MidWest) which had an indoor roller-coaster type ride. One of the nice things about this ride was that the control room was enclosed in mirrored glass; those inside could see everything while the patrons of the ride only saw themselves in the mirrors.

"Jenny" (like "Jill", not her real name) arranged for me to stop on by the ride one day and spend some quality time with her in the control booth. The only way she could pull this off was to have her co-workers stay outside (usually there are 2 or 3 people in there so that nobody is bored).

Let's just say that after a fun "lunch hour" I came out to a multitude of smiling faces....in addition to leaving a smiling (and tired) face behind.

Me and my very exhibitionist g/f got caught a few times... we got more risky with time...
1. We decided to venture out of my bedroom at my parents house and try other rooms of the house. We were banging away on the family room couch and my stepdad decided to come home early. Without any warning whatsoever to front door opens with my bare ass in the wind, plowing away at my g/f. He takes a step into the house, saw us, said "good afternoon" and walked upstairs. We had no cover, our clothes were upstairs, no blanket, no pillows, nothing. We were flat out bare assed caught. Later that night (after she left) I apologised to him and he said "hey, how often do you think I get to see cute girls naked in the house". We still laugh about it now and then.
2. We were going at it in a rental car (heheheheh, tainting someone elses stuff), and got caught by an old guy walking his dog. He was all sorts of pissed off at us. But he got to see everything, I didn't see the problem.
3. Ozzfest... late at night in an outdoor music fest... Ozzy was on and we were against the back fence of the place and it was packed.... we were just sitting down and I just started feeling her up under her clothes, and she goes and pulls her shirt up and off. (WOW!!!!!!), so I take the clue and whip my shit out and she scoots her pants down enough to be able to do it, and she indian-style fucked me in public topless, with tons of people around. Nobody stared at us or made us uncomfortable, but we got lots of thumbs ups and "hells yeah"s. That was the best sex I ever had in my life. After that I got road head for 4 hours on the way home... We got home, then screwed for 5 more hours... what a friggin night.
~Jim

Unfortunately, I have almost been caught in the act. It was immediately after we had finished. My girlfriend and I were having sex in my room while, apparently, my dad had come home from work. I was completely oblivious to this and we just kept going until I finished. With my girlfriend still straddling me, I hear a knock on my door and my dad starts to open it. My girlfriend screams a little, my dad stops in his tracks, and asks "What's are you two doing?" I reply with a quick "Nothing." We scrambled our clothes on and hurried out of the house before any questions could be asked.

We got kicked out of Marquette Park (in Chicago) for life. We were actually done at the time. A cool autumn night, windows all fogged up. Me sleeping in the passenger seat, her sleeping in the driver's seat. I wake up and notice a light in the window. What's my first reaction? Open the window. WRONG. It's a couple of cops.

"Step out of the car, son"

"Um."

"Get your pants on boy and get outta the car"

Yeah, I opened the window first. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, DUMB!

After checking our id's, they kicked us out of the park and warned us never to come back. We look back on it now and laugh. Also, I ALWAYS pull my pants up now BEFORE answering the door/knock/etc.

Another couple of times
 

Reading the rest of the entries made me remember two more times we were caught.

My wife and I did a lot of oral sex before we finally did the deed. One time, I'm laying on her bed and she's orally pleasuring me. She forgot to lock her door and in walks her younger sister (younger by 2 years, so, she's 15 at the time). My wife screams and sis runs back out the door. We think that's the reason she's an ultra-conservative Christian these days. Scarred for life!

Another time, my wife visited me at college. I had the top bunk. My roommate went home every weekend so we went at it like a couple of wild dogs. The floor, desk and finally the bunk bed (mine) were used. After finishing up on the bunk bed, we hear a pounding on the wall. Guess we made some noise. What was nice is that the dorm was co-ed, so, the neighbors next door were female. Never did use that to my advantage. :(

Once, I was at my old girlfriends' house, and we just had great sex. I was lying naked on the bed, had half-a-hardon, and her stepdad opens the door, looks frightened, closes it again, knocks, mumbles something and leaves to his office for several hours without a word... oops.
Once, my current girlfriend and I took a day off. We were in her apartment, naked on the couch with just a blanket over us. We hadn't even had sex, just chilling and having a nice time. For some reason the stereo was playing loud punk, when her father enters the apartment with his key, without knocking. He didn't think we were at home, and he was picking something up. There we were, naked on the couch, barely covered, loud punk on the stereo... He just picked up whatever he came to pick up, sayd bye and left. It was a pretty weird scenario.

Never been cought but I swear our neighbors can hear us, they always smile and do thumbs-up or what not if we go out right after we've fucked :lol:

"
"I can't come out because Kathy is wearing my pants"

Silence greeted that for about 30 seconds, and then he started laughing."

so, what happened after that? what did her pa say?

My sister walked in on me once.
pretty embaressing
That is all for me though

I was 16 g/f was 15, we used to do it everywhere. Did it on the jungle Jim thingy in the playground at night one time. We were high up enough that people couldn't see us while they were walking there dogs. Another time did it on the back of a quad with my buddy driving it (she was giving me head). Did it once in a change room in the mall.

And finally the best one:

I was with my g/f and a buddy when I had to get the g/f home. I told my buddy to drive so I could get head in the back seat on the way back too her house. Well I guess we slid down the seat and no one from behind us could see us. My buddy is speeding and gets pulled over by the cops. So we slide up and the cops like "what are you two doing back there?" I can't remember what I said but my buddy got a $100 speeding ticket.

One time, my g/f was giving me a handjob under the blanket in front of the TV when her sister came downstairs, said "What's Going On?" and ripped the blanket off. I swatted her on the head (playfully, not hard) and her parents shit bricks. They told me I assaulted her.

It stinks, because stuff could have worked out with her, but her parents made it so difficult. They were cool in some respects, but lost it on others.

very long time ago

dropping gf off at home, we decided to get in back and crash on a bit. Clothes became optional and the windows steamed up. I don't know how long we were at it but there was suddenly a knock on the back window and the g/f's father said "I think you guys have been out here long enough" Talk about heart failure... she was out of there so fast we nearly got whip lash

Come to think of it, I've been caught a few different times. I can't decide if it was exhilirating or not. But the sex was always real hot.

Once I took this girl I was dating up to the local park. I used to drive one of those SUVs so we had a pretty good amount of room in the backseat. We were bare-ass naked and I was fucking her from behind as we were looking out the back window. The windows were all fogged up, but I noticed a pair of headlights coming into the parking lot. The parking lot is waay back up the trail from the main road, and the headlights were at the start of the trail. So I thought for a brief monent, and kept fucking her, just harder and faster til she finished. After she came, I said casually, "By the way. There's a car coming." She actually didn't care at first, she turned around and pulled my condom off so she could suck me off some more, but it turned out it was a cop.

We got dressed really frickin' fast. He knocked on the door and asked us to step outside, and told us that the park was closed and we had to leave. (How do you close a park, anyway?) Anyway, as I was getting out, the condom fell from the floor of the car to the pavement, and I surreptuiously (sp) nudged it withmy foot under the car. I don't know if he noticed or not, but he checked our IDs and sent us on our way.

Another time, I spent a Memorial Day weekend with her (same girl) and her family at their family cottage "up north." Her parents were in one room, and she, her younger sister and myself were in the next room over. Well, we waited til we thought everyone was asleep and started screwing like animals. She tried to keep it quiet, but every once in awhile she'd let out a muffled groan and tried to bury it in a pillow.

Once we finished and collapsed in a heap, I glanced over to her sister's bed, who was peeking over her covers at us with a big grin on her face. I winked at her and went to sleep.

There's one or two more lingering on the fringes of my memory, but I can't quite recall them right now. Maybe I'll put 'em up later.

okay, I'm going to add one, this thread's been too much fun not to...

We're out at breakfast with another family, them and their son, the wife and I with our son and 5 year old (at that time) daughter.

We're eating breakfast, all cordial and relaxed... My daughter, loud as hell, pops off with: " I heard you slapping mommy and her screaming last night..." And my buddie's wife IMMEDIATELY figures out what was going on, and asks her "well what did mommy say?" Reply: " She was yelling YES really loud" the whole stupid restaraunt could hear this exchange... I'm not one to get terribly embarrassed, but I waited a year before we went back to that place for breakfast... and we pay more attention to closing some doors around the house now than we used to......

:lol:

Back in high school, my girlfriend and I were naked in her upstairs bedroom when her parents unexpectedly came home. As I grabbed my clothes and bolted for the upstairs bathroom, I could hear her mom asking her dad where the kids were. My girlfriend went downstairs first, while I pretended to have an extended BM. Everyone pretended nothing happened (don't ask, don't tell), but they had to know. Anyway, I speak a lot in my job, and when I get the jitters, I think about being able to deal with this experience to settle the nerves.

Well, used to bang in a wooded park from time to time.....I'm sure some people knew what we were doing, but was never called on it...

i don't have any really interesting stories, just a bunch of close calls. but this was a great read, thanks!

I've been walked in on by a few people, and lots of close calls. I'll share one story.
It's a saturday morning, I spent the night at my g/f's house (she still lived at home at the time). We're both naked and start fooling around under the covers. Suddenly her ex-boyfriend bursts through the door. He came over to pick up her bro (they are friends) and wanted to show her the car he just got. The only thing that kept me from getting up and beating the piss out of him was the fact that I had no cloths on.

i have only been walked in on once and it was pretty bad.

one morning while i was visiting my now ex girlfriend we get a bit frisky. we started having sex and she ended up on top when we heard the phone ring. we didnt think much of it as her younger brother was home so there was no problem, or so we though. all of a sudden he walks into her room with the phone saying her mum was on the phone, he then takes one look at his sister on top of me and walks out closing the door. he then knocks on the door and says its her mum. when he passes her the phone all we see is the door open a crack and his hand pop in with the phone (BTW she was under the covers by this time). nothing was ever said but was pretty embarassing all the same.

Enjoyed this so much had to add two stories of my own.

First, while in college I ran into my ex-girlfriend who was extremely drunk at the time. She talked about how great the sex was when we were together and that she hadn't had sex at all since we broke up. You know where this is headed. I bring her back to my college dorm room and we are having unbelievable sex. The entire bunk bed is slamming against the wall and she is screaming "oh my gawd!, oh my gawd!" over and over and over again at the top of her lungs. I'm nervous as can be b/c I know that everyone on the entire floor has got to be able to hear her, including the Resident Advisor who would get me in trouble for sneeking a member of the opposite sex in after-hours. We finish; she picks up her stuff and staggers out the door; and I lay down to go to bed. I later hear the noise of my roomate grinding his teeth, which he regularly did while he slept. Turns out, he was on the top bunk up all along, but I did not see him when we came in b/c he was pushed up against the opposite side of the bed toward the wall. The best part is that he was the most timid guy you have ever met in your life, and the next morning he says in a very meek but serious voice: "Uhh, I heard you all having sex last night. At first it made me feel quite uncomfortable, but surprisingly, as it went on, I really liked it." How do you respond to that?

Back in high school , I would regularly sneak out of my house, drive 15 minutes to my girlfriend's house, sneek her out, and then drive her back to my house, where we would mess around. I would then drive her back before daybreak. One time when I arrived to pick up my girlfriend, she remarked that her parents may have heard her sneaking out. The problem is that her father was rumored to be in the mob and had a couple missing fingers to show for it. Nonetheless, two horny kids weren't going to let this stop us. We make it back to my house and we're just starting to really go at it when I hear our phone ring at 3:00 a.m. It was my girlfriend's mother calling to tell my mother that I had snuck their daughter out and that my girlfriend's father had grabbed a gun and jumped in his car to find me. Her mother was hysterical and afraid that he might kill me, if he found us. I learned later that my mother told her that she was crazy and that I was fast asleep in my bed downstairs. Well, by the time my mother came down to check on us, my girlfriend and I were out the door and I was pushing my car down the driveway with the lights off. I pulled off the road about a mile away from my girlfriend's house. We are saying our goodbyes, when up pulls crazy Mr. C. He gets out of the gun, goes to the my side of the car and pulls a freakin' .45 pistol from his jacket and points it at me. I would have pissed myself right then, but I was too afraid to even move my bladder. I held rigid with my hand in the air. My girlfriend screams and he tells her to get in his car. He tells me to look at him, I turn, and he says "don't you EVER come around my house or my daughter again!" My girlfriend and I spoke very briefly about the issue at school one day and agreed that maybe it was best for all involved that we stop seeing each other. Not a bad idea. Moral of the story: Don't fuck with a mobster's daughter.

I attend a lot of Scottish events and wear a kilt. Once my fiance' and I went to a local pub to meet with the local Scottish Regiment and since I was going "regimental" I proposed she wear no panties with her skirt. The skirt was short and every time she stood up or sat down she was in danger of flashing the whole pub. It was making both of us pretty hot and at one point she grabs my hand pulls me into the ladies room (it was a single) and after a great blowjob we proceed to go at it. In my passion I picked her up and put her on the sink so I could get a better angle. After a bit of robust thrusting the sink seperated from the wall and crashed to the floor with thunderous sound. Upon leaving said restroom we were well met with applause and much raucous laughter. A bit embarrasing, but well worth it.

Poyzun and I were in her dorm room at bout 11 at night having some really really really great sex when all of the sudden the phone rings. Thinking it was an emergency we stopped and grabbed the phone. Instead of it being an emergency it was this guy that she knew from online and didnt even like calling up from the lobby asking if he could stay the night. We didnt want to seem like assholes so we said a very reluctant sure. What he forgot to mention was that he brought his younger brother along too.....
We were up for hours calming down cause we didnt want to finish with the guys little bro in the room....
She was veeeeeeerrrry angry....
Sex the next night was really great tho...

I have to add my entry to this glorious thread

We were at a hotel that had a central pool, with public changerooms

we were in the sauna with the bubbles on mutually masturbating eachother when we cant take it anymore and head to one of the changerooms for a quickie.

well my stamina gets the best of me and i take too long and a woman with a little boy walks in.

Most priceless looks on her face as she grabs her son and takes off.

we were laughing so hard that we couldnt get calmed down until later that night.

we still laugh about it

my story....
It was a sunday afternoon, my parents were out playing golf...
my original gf (she had been seeing other guys) accepts my invite Rides her bike over. leaves it in the driveway. one thing lead to another, we ajourn to my bedroom in the basement, and right as i get my second thrust in I hear the ceiling creaking "Oh Shit they're home" franticfumbling to get reclothed, the bike in the driveway a dead giveaway, Ma reads me the riot act.....

Not too long ago we were making out all over the place in the back of a library, and the librarian walked up. She gave us an odd look then we left.

I've been caught a few times as well. I'll share a couple.

This one time, at band camp..

ok seriously.. My GF and I were on the couch at her parents place (she lived at home.) We were under a cover and going at it with her parents in the next room over. We thought we were being quiet but I guess not quiet enough. Her mom causaully walks by and goes into the kitchen. Meanwhile both of our pants are around our knee's. We couldnt really pull them up without being noticed. So her mom asked her to come here real quick. she was pretty freaked out but somehow we managed to not get completly caught, or at least her mom never said anything.

the other time we went to a local park before we headed off to church. We were fooling around on top of a slide. Up walks this old lady that had to be at least 70. she just stands at the bottom of the slide for what seemed like an eternity. she then looks up and told us we should be going to church instead of doing what we were doing. and then took off in distgust. We both thought it was pretty funny since we were on our way to church.

This isn't really anything big, but...

One time, nwlinkvxd and I got a hotel room. We were getting into kissing and all that, when suddenly a room service lady just burst in. nwlinkvxd pulled on his pants double-quick and told the lady there 'IS SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM!' The lady said a quick apology and got out of there.

Oh! And another time, we were almost caught at an elementary school. I was giving nwlinkvxd a blowjob on top of a play structure, and just as he was finished, a family with two little kids come walking up. Thank god he had zipped up the pants and we were JUST walking away...heh.

Last thing: We never were 'caught' but we had sex with his dad about a foot away from me. It was...nervewracking.

Last LAST thing: I'm not sure if I was ever 'caught' but my dad was fixing my drawers, and I keep a vibrator and lube (and there was a condom too) in those drawers.

I have an interesting story lol

One day, my fiance and I were headed to pick up a check from the job we had just quit..we were on the freeway and he was driving--
I was feeling a lil freaky so i decided to wear a skirt w/ no undies on. I let him know by putting one of his hands down there. He noticed I was wet and he smiled.

Almost right away he started teasing me for what was to come once we got home. It started to build up so I got into it (completely forgetting i was in a lil hatchback civic w/ no tinted windows) and i threw my head back and moaned--sucked on my finger.. anything to try to relieve the sexual tension. (It took all my strength to keep from doing him then and there)

Lucky me.. at that moment two guys in this huge truck passed by us lol and i guess they happened to see because they kept pulling up besides us and looking into the car with a funny look on their face lol!!

It was so funny. Good times. I'd do it again.
:thumbsup:

Oh, man. Great thread. I'll add some stuff.

My ex-girlfriend and I were screwing on my bed in my room. We were 14, and still had our shirts on, which turned out to be a good thing. My mom walks in and, quicker than you'd ever believe, I rolled off of her and there we were, lying under the covers next to each other, (apparently) fully clothed. She never knew a thing.

Another time with the same girl, my mom told me afterwards (with the girl standing next to me) that we had to keep it down. My mom didn't care about us having sex, but she did have to turn up the TV so my dad wouldn't hear. We were 16/17 at this time.

We were at it in a hot tub at a hotel in Florida, her straddling me. She got off of me as I blew my load, since we were in the "pulling out" stage (still 14), and as we get out of the hot tub we see this guy on his hotel room's balcony, staring at us. Freaky. Also, don't ever do this because you'll be picking dried cum off of you for hours.

My last story isn't mine, but my sisters'. My older sister (20) and her boyfriend were in her room. My little sister (10) walks in the room, sees him ass-naked on the bed, eating her out, and turns around. She walks downstairs and says to my mom, "Mom, can I tell you something and you'll promise not to be mad?" Boy, was it a long time before the boyfriend mustered up the courage to return to my house.

I was 17 and she was 15. Her Mom always went to Bingo on Wednesday night's so that was always our night. Her Dad pretty much left us to ourselves which was great. So we go down to her finished basement to "watch TV". We in fact did watch TV this night for a while at least before she reached up and started playing with my cock. So...next thing you know she's on her knees in front of me giving me one glorious Monica Lewinsky and all of the sudden the basement door to the outside swings open and in walks her Mom. :crazy: I'm looking at her Mom and Julie (the she in this story) can't tell who is there but is obviously mortified by this situation. Her Mom quietly walks past us without taking her eyes off of me but also without saying a word and slowly ascends the stairs to their main living quarters. After about 5 minutes we hear from atop the stairs, "Julie, can you come up here please".

I was invited up about fifteen minutes later and politely asked to leave. It never came up in conversation again but from that point forward we were not permitted unsupervised time in their house. That part was a bummer...she was a GREAT cock sucker and I still miss her to this day :D

About a year ago my girlfriend and I got really high. We went back to her room and started to go at it. What we didn't realize was that we had forgotten (we were high remember) to lock the door. She's on top of me when the door opens right up. She jumps off me and we hear "You guys weren't in here 5 minutes ago!". We apologize, then the roommate says "Can I just put this steak in the fridge?".. Then she walks in, we're covered only by a pillow, puts the steak in the fridge, and walks out. We then just locked the door and started up again.

This happened when Redgirl and I were dating in High School. Her grandparents were out of town and they had a nice pool. So I told my mom that we were going over there to go swimming. Of course we had no intentions of swimming until we were done having fun. We left our bathing suits beside the pool and got in and started getting freaky. We had a hard time getting off underwater, it just didn't feel that good. But I was determined. So I kept trying different positions. I was finally starting to get close, when I looked up and saw my little sister (about 13 years old at the time) opening the gate between the front and back yards. She walked toward us and we were both completely naked. She couldn't tell though because she could only see our heads above the side of the pool. I was really panicked. I started yelling at her "What are you doing here? Get out of here, we didn't invite you." She was completely shocked and ran back through the gate. I felt pretty bad as we hurried to but our bathing suits back on. I figured I would just run to the front and tell her I was just joking. As soon as I was dressed I ran to the gate and saw my cousin's car driving off with my sister in it.

It turns out that my mom told my sister that we went swimming and my sister had tried to run out to our car (in her bathing suit) just as we were leaving my mom's house. My sister had been so upset about missing us that my mom called and asked my cousin to give her a ride to Redgirl's grandma's house. I didn't even know that my mom knew where Redgirl's grandma's house was.

We did finish having sex after that, but we've never had pool sex since. My sister never brought it up, but I recently told her about it (she's 25 now).

I've got two stories. The first is with a girlfreind in Virginia whos dad was a preacher. She lived at home and worked a night shift. I used to go over to her house in the mornings and her parents would let me go upstairs to her room while she was still in bed. I'd finger fuck her while she lay on her stomach, having many orgasms. Every once in a while one of her parents would walk by and look in the open door and I would move my hand it'd look pretty normal. The catching went on one weekend when her parents went away for a bible camp. I stayed overnight at her house and in the morning we took a shower together. Well, I got out and was getting dressed while she finished up in the shower when her dad walked in the door. he didn't say anything, but I know he knew.

The other time a girlfriend of mine and I decided to rent some pron and fuck while watching it. So we're in the living room, me fucking her from behind with the tape on when my roomate comes in the front door. I was smart enough to do the deadbolt as well as the door lock, so it takes him an extra 30 seconds to figure out how to get in. We have just enough time to stop the tape and get under a blanket, but not enough time to get our clothes on. I think it was pretty obvious what we were doing, but he didn't say a thing.

The first time I was ever caught, it was with another girl. My mom walked in on us when I was going down on her. That ended playtime real quick. :(