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Old 11-22-2004, 06:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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So she has a B/F...

Hey all I was wondering if you guys can help me, I am in sort of a problematic situation. And I figured since you all most likely have a lot more experience then I do you can provide some helpful insight.

I like this girl named Rachel and I have hung out with her and a bunch of my friends. She, for some reason doesn't talk to me at all.

She is probably one of the shiest girls I have ever met in my life. So recently we decided to go to the movies (Me, my friends Alex, Will, and Ashley). Now as we are hanging out in the stairwell of her building I ask her "Rachel, do you speak Spanish?" (She is Hispanic as am I and my other friends who were there, but they all can't speak a lick of Spanish but me and Alex, so me and Alex converse on certain things and he gives me advice on what I should do or say in Spanish, sort of like our secret language.

Now it can't really work well if Rachel knows Spanish can it?) she ignores me, I then ask louder and she continues to ignore me as if she was in some trance she was like sucked into thought staring down the steps.

So there I was "pretending" to listen to my CD player (I had it on Pause) and I over hear Ashley (Ashley is my inside connection basically, her and Rachel are very good friends) say to Rachel, "Should I set you up on a date with him?" (She then points at me), I then hear Rachel say in an excited tone of voice "Nonononono wait I am still with Noel, not yet".

Now usually in my life thus far when a girl is not interested in a guy she either replies to such a bold question that Ashley asked her with something along the lines of "Eww NO!" or with a facial expression that says that, but I didn't hear or see neither and neither did Ashley. Then soon thereafter Rachel calls Noel, and she tells Noel oh we are leaving in 15 minutes to go to the movies and Noel tells her he can't make it in that time frame or that's what Ashley told me Noel told Rachel, then it dawned to me, why did she lie? It was 6 PM and we were catching a 9 PM show and we knew that at that moment, why didn't she want him to go? So as the 3 hours pass I catch Rachel staring at me more then a few times and I stare back, deep into her eyes and either I look away or she did.

So the time comes and we get into the car as Ashley's Mother drive us to the movies. Will is in the side passenger seat, I was in the middle of the back seat with Alex to my right and Ashley to my left with Rachel on her lap. Once again I "pretend" to listen to my CD player, and I over hear Ashley say, pretty loudly I may add, "So have you spoken to Noel?" and Rachel pinches her thigh very hard because I felt Ashley jump and she then said "Ow don't pinch me", and I thought to myself why was she pinched after what she said then it came to me, Rachel obviously didn't want for me to find out about Noel and pinched Ashley for "blowing her spot" so to speak.

So we're in the movies and more staring occurs but this time I don't stare back but rather glance to see if she was looking at me. After the movie is over we continue to talk during and after the ending credits and Rachel is all by herself across the aisle and Ashley says "Rachel come over here", Rachel doesn't move but stays contemplating something as she did in the stairwell and in the car. Then Ashley says "If you like Noel you'll come over hear" and Rachel never budges until we all tell her to come on over.

I was talking to a friend of mine who is also a girl, 19, lives in Texas, and she tells me try "ignoring" her back, I tell her what does she mean, she says don't talk to her, Human Nature is to want something we can't have, basically play Hard to Get. So today, I was hanging out with a friend of mine and I see her coming from a block away her beautiful body and cute face, bah let me not ramble on, as she comes closer to her building, which I was near, I say anything to her, she just stares at me as she comes closer and closer, I look at her back and continue talking to my friend and even as she was walking up the hill to her building she turned her head to look at me as if to say "Look at me! Look at me!". So the tables have turned and now instead of longing for her stare she longs for mine.

Now my questions are

1) Does she like me?
2)Why was she ignoring me?
3)What do I do about this Noel character?
4)What's up with the confusing messages she is sending me?

PS: Sorry for the novel! And for any grammatical errors!

Last edited by Gamer90; 11-22-2004 at 07:49 PM..
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Old 11-22-2004, 06:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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it will all be so much simpler when you are a bit older. honestly.
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Old 11-22-2004, 06:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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1)Does she like me? Yes

2)Why was she ignoring me? She seems confused as to what her next move should be. She probably figures that if she ignores you, she won't have to make a decision on anything right now.

3)What do I do about this Noel character? My advice to you, ask her out. This gives her a reason to get rid of Noel and also lets her know where you stand on a relationship with her. Keep in mind, being confused she may either say no or shut down for a little bit until she gets her feelings sorted out but it sounds like things should work out in your favor.

4)What's up with the confusing messages she is sending me? Other than being a female? They ALL send confusing messages (even after marriage). Again, she is confused and doesn't know what to do. She probably has feelings for Noel and can't sort out her feelings for you. From here, see question #3.
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Old 11-22-2004, 06:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you for your responses, Greedy75, your's being more helpful. Anyone else care to comment on this subject?
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Not that I'm trying to rain on your parade, but this could end ugly. Depends on how long her and this guy Noel have been going out. If it's been a loooooooooong time she might not feel like breaking up with him even though the relationship sux. I know this because I was....shit....probably in love with a girl who had a b/f for years. I think deep down she knew I liked her and I'm pretty sure at some point in the short time we knew each other she liked me but as time went on I think she got scared. It all ended pretty bad for me. Even worse for her cause now she's stuck with that asshole. Don't wait too long cause if you wait too long it may be too late. Try not to become really good friends with her either that could backfire. I'm not saying waiting is a bad idea cause if you do wait she might dump this Noel guy all on her own without the confusion you could bring and then she could be all yours but just don't wait too long. She doesn't sound like the type that will make a move. And yes I think she probably likes you. Most of the other guys know what they're talking about so listen to them. You sound pretty young man...if yer not 18 you can't post here so don't forget that. Good luck.

Asta!!
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Her and Noel have been together for a month a half, or so Ashley says. Meh I'm 19 so I'm in the clear for that, 85' was a good year
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer90
Meh I'm 19 so I'm in the clear for that, 85' was a good year
You're 19 and you have somebody's mom drive you to the movies...?
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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None of my friends have a car neither do I, and my parents won't let me touch their car! , I am the only one with a licence and Ashley's mom won't let me drive her Chevy Malibu even if I payed her
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Care to donate some money so I can get a car? *looks on with an excited grin*
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Old 11-22-2004, 08:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer90
Care to donate some money so I can get a car? *looks on with an excited grin*
Really, between your writing style and the whole "mom driving" thing, and even this "dontate money to me" post, all scream that you and your friends are under 16. But whatever.

But if you really are in college, then for god's sake, take an English class.
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Old 11-22-2004, 08:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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sorry i fell asleep reading it. to long. just ask her out and be done with it
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Old 11-22-2004, 08:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
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quite frankly, read the stickies. http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=72117

this reeks of high school drama. all of these questions you should be able to answer yourself. you don't need to look for affirmation from a bunch of strangers.
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Old 11-22-2004, 08:43 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Well I'm worse than you man. I'm 20 and I have no car, no license, nor do I even know how to fuckin drive . My parents never bothered to teach me that. They didn't teach any of us. My siblings had to learn from someone else. I couldn't say 85 was a good year cause I was only a year old and wouldn't remember it unless I saw what it was on T.V. I had a friend back when I was 15 who was teaching me how to drive. He was a senior...but then he got a girlfriend haha so that quickly changed. Had friends offer to teach me since then but never lived in the town long enough to get a fuckin chance. Shit. But yeah I only said so because this whole story almost reeks of highschool drama..no offense.

Asta!!
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Old 11-22-2004, 09:41 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Wise
Well I'm worse than you man. I'm 20 and I have no car, no license, nor do I even know how to fuckin drive . My parents never bothered to teach me that. They didn't teach any of us. My siblings had to learn from someone else. I couldn't say 85 was a good year cause I was only a year old and wouldn't remember it unless I saw what it was on T.V. I had a friend back when I was 15 who was teaching me how to drive. He was a senior...but then he got a girlfriend haha so that quickly changed. Had friends offer to teach me since then but never lived in the town long enough to get a fuckin chance. Shit. But yeah I only said so because this whole story almost reeks of highschool drama..no offense.

Asta!!
Pretty simple, man. Drop the cash for driving lessons. We (most of us) did this when we were 15. Back then our parents paid for it though. It's not that expensive, and they teach you what to know. My parents did help me once I had my permit, but most of the learning itself was done in the classroom and then in the "behind the wheel" with the teacher.
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Old 11-22-2004, 11:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Heh, not to interrupt or anything...but I agree it's probably better to do something than to sit around and wait in this situation. I had an interesting time being a good friend of a girl dating some guy who wasn't worth it, after being close to going out with her right before they started going out. So that idea was always somewhere in the back of her mind (couldn't let it get too platonic, right?) and I think that helped. If you come out of left field just as a friend with that kinda stuff you're likely to confuse and it might not end well. Of course, my situation didn't end well either....for the other guy! (zing!)

You really can't be having your mom drive you guys to the movies though. I'd walk first.
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Old 11-23-2004, 12:16 AM   #16 (permalink)
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The answer to all your questions: Who fucking cares?

If you like her, ask her out. The longer you sit around and ask yourself these questions the more of a wussy you become.

Girls don't like wussies.
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Old 11-23-2004, 01:32 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ibis
The answer to all your questions: Who fucking cares?

If you like her, ask her out. The longer you sit around and ask yourself these questions the more of a wussy you become.

Girls don't like wussies.
Classic. Just classic. You hammered that nail right in.

See, some call it courtship, I call it a mind game. Either you agree to play, or you don't. As a general rule, life is easier without the unnecessary bullshit.
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:02 AM   #18 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy
Pretty simple, man. Drop the cash for driving lessons. We (most of us) did this when we were 15. Back then our parents paid for it though. It's not that expensive, and they teach you what to know. My parents did help me once I had my permit, but most of the learning itself was done in the classroom and then in the "behind the wheel" with the teacher.
Never had enough time for that. And now that I do have enough time, I'm out in the middle of nowhere and there probably isn't even a place near by that I can do it. Last I checked these days some places wanted 2 c-notes for driving courses. I think it's changed now though...since I'm older. Both my sisters have offered to teach me to drive over the summer if I go and stay with one of them. Summer couldn't come soon enough. I mean how can ya take a girl out when you 1. don't have a car and 2. Wouldn't know what to do with one even if you did?? Not cool at all. Fuckin lame even. Then my folks have to move me a whole 10 min fuckin drive out of the City. I need a job to get a car...I need a car to get a job. I only say this because the last job I had I lived only a few blocks from it and I still couldn't count on my parents to take me to work. More than half the time I walked, sometimes even ran because I was expecting a ride I didn't get. Then my dad would fuck around with me and make me do all kinds of things before he'd take me, making me late. Fuck all that. They want me to get a job they should get me a fucking car. Sorry went off there for a minute..I'm bitter. My dad says the stupidest shit like "No one taught me how to drive! I stole my mothers car!" I'm like "Are you telling me to steal the fucking car??!!??" and then my mom is always telling me "You need to learn how to drive" GOOD IDEA! I need to get out of here .

And ask the girl out if yer sure she likes you!

Asta!!
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:54 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I can't tell if you're genuinely looking for advice or bragging about how much this girl likes you. From what you say, it's bloody obvious she's into you. Even if she weren't, what would be the harm in asking her out?

We walk around like getting a "no" will kill us. Believe me, I encounter it in my life too--in my relationships, my business, etc, etc. Trust me on this, "no" is not such an ugly word. Behind the last "no" is a "yes" just waiting to get said.
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Old 11-23-2004, 02:38 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy
Really, between your writing style and the whole "mom driving" thing, and even this "dontate money to me" post, all scream that you and your friends are under 16. But whatever.

But if you really are in college, then for god's sake, take an English class.
I'm in my Senior year of HS. And I obviously don't need a English class as I don't spell donate, dontate...


Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Wise
Well I'm worse than you man. I'm 20 and I have no car, no license, nor do I even know how to fuckin drive . My parents never bothered to teach me that. They didn't teach any of us. My siblings had to learn from someone else. I couldn't say 85 was a good year cause I was only a year old and wouldn't remember it unless I saw what it was on T.V. I had a friend back when I was 15 who was teaching me how to drive. He was a senior...but then he got a girlfriend haha so that quickly changed. Had friends offer to teach me since then but never lived in the town long enough to get a fuckin chance. Shit. But yeah I only said so because this whole story almost reeks of highschool drama..no offense.

Asta!!
Yeah well last year I shelled out 65$ a lesson for Driving School, I failed the test once because "I didn't check my blind side" which was bull because I did.

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnsimon885
You really can't be having your mom drive you guys to the movies though. I'd walk first.
Sorry don't really feel like walking over 9 miles in either direction...

Well thanks for the help fellas hopefully it'll work out for the best, my other relationships haven't.
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Old 11-24-2004, 09:18 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Oh well, I decided to make a fuckin move and got rejected. She said I don't like you, so time to move on, made me kind of mad because Ashley told me that Noel doesn't visit her and I probably hung out with her more then he did. She also told me that Rachel is "blind" and doesn't see a good thing when its there she's a bit superficial and only looks for looks even if the guy treats her like shit.
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Old 11-24-2004, 09:31 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Looks like you picked a real winner there buddy. If she's superficial like you say..forget her. Yer young...next week they'll be another girl.

Asta!!
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Old 11-24-2004, 09:32 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamer90
Oh well, I decided to make a fuckin move and got rejected. She said I don't like you, so time to move on, made me kind of mad because Ashley told me that Noel doesn't visit her and I probably hung out with her more then he did. She also told me that Rachel is "blind" and doesn't see a good thing when its there she's a bit superficial and only looks for looks even if the guy treats her like shit.
Take my advice.
This is all going to seem so trivial once you get to college. Don't worry about girls and be yourself. Just look for someone showing signs of interest in you and don't debate making a move. Above that, don't analyze every detail. Just enjoy life.
Take my advice on the triviality of it all though.
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Old 11-25-2004, 09:20 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Thanks for the advice everyone.
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