brusus

Well hi everyone,
I need some advice what to do after a hard breakup with my girlfriend. I'll tell my story from the beginning:

Three days ago my girlfriend broke up with me after a 6 month relationship. She wrote me an email with the following content (translated since we were both german and usually don't write each other in english ...)

Well at least she is honest to me
The bad thing after reading that email was that I couldn't reach her by phone. Her roommate told me that she wasn't at home and her cellular phone was switched off. I left a message on her mailbox and she called me the next day.

We met and she told me she was serious.

I told her how much I love her and that I didn't want to let her go. I did also tell her about a conversation with a close friend some days ago about thinking to cheat on one's partner:
I said that day that sure I think sometimes of it but the more I would think of it the clearer it came to me that I have all I want with her. I am 100% satisfied with the one I love
So far so good. After all this talk she agreed that she will rethink the whole situation and call me the next day which was today (It's late here in germany).
On that evening I went to her flat a second time and put a large bouquet of sunflowers (her favorite flower) on her door along with a little card explaining once more how much I love her.

Today she called me and said sorry. So that's it? I barely could speak and we agreed to talk later. I took a long walk to clear my head a little which didn't really work as good as I had hoped.
Later in the evening she send me a sms that if I want we can meet tomorrow and talk. I guess I can't turn the situation much

So heres my question: What would you do in my situation? How would you behave in my situation? Can I get her back? Should I even try?
I mean alltough she fell in love with somebody else I still love her and actually I don't think I will meet a 'better' (whatever this means) women for me.

Another good friend of mine told me today as an advice: 'Wipe your mouth and look ahead. As stupid this may sound'

What do you think?

VitaminH

I've been there. I've thought I had the one for me. It was only in the weeks after we finally split that I realized she was not the one for me at all. I'm not saying that this will happen with you, but I feel that you should probably let go. It's apparent that she wants to split, so I think arguing and hanging on will not make for a very fulfilling relationship. It has the possibility to become very one sided if you are the only one who wants it to be.

I know it sucks, but my advice would be to cut your losses so to speak and move on. There's ALWAYS someone else, and the longer you hold on to one you've lost, the longer you may have to wait to find that someone else.

__________________
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Rlyss

I feel for you brusus, that is frighteningly similar to how one of my first relationships ended. Six or eight months into it she met somebody else, I tried my hardest to win her back (I even repaired her microwave! Then she moved out of her apartment a few days later and left the microwave :shrug: ) but she stayed with the other guy.

I spent that summer with my friends, did lots of crazy stuff, met somebody else and spent a year and a half with her before we broke up.

Point is that even though breaking up with someone is always a shitty thing to do, to be fair, she wasn't happy. She shouldn't have started with somebody else before telling you, of course, but relationships come and go, some for the better and some for the worst.

I was lucky that I met somebody so soon afterwards. Sometimes that happens and sometimes it doesn't, but you can help everything along by accepting it and moving on, hanging out with friends, being productive, achieving other goals and cutting off all contact with your ex-girlfriend. I wouldn't recommend calling her and being friends, that will just be a constant reminder to you that you can't have her. If you want to be friends then do it later on, after you've moved on and there are no lingering feelings.

Just give it time, and don't give it any thought, and you'll be fine

f6twister

Sadly, I would cut your losses and move on. If she has truly fallen in love with someone else, she has already made her choice. I have a hard time believing that your speech is suddenly going to make her reverse her decision and return to you as the faithful lover you can trust forever. This doesn't mean that she won't change her mind down the road and want you back but I think she needs to miss you before that can happen.

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

DelayedReaction

It's difficult, but you need to move on. It's obvious that this door is closed to you. Relationships need two people to work out, and if she doesn't want to make it work then there isn't much you can do about it.

__________________
If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

brusus

Well thank you guys, I guess that your opinions and suggestions will help me to get this one right.
I'll meet her in some hours and I will see what she will tell about us.

I know the one she loves btw. and I like that guy sadly That doesn't make the situation better at all. The last time we spoke he didn't knew a thing of her love. She wanted to talk to him yesterday.

I'll see in some hours

d*d

gotta let go

brusus

Well I'm back from my ex and I'd say that was the most honest breakup ever We sat at some bar and drank tequilla sunrise.

I guess I have accepted that she wants to be together with the other guy and I said her that she should better be happy with him. I still love her or at least like her very much. I don't think that I will break the contact to her because I don't want to loose her as a good friend.

By the way she told me that after she talked to the guy he said that he loves her too but didn't want to say anything. At least her love is not onesided wich sucks as far I can tell at the moment...

For the next days I won't see her cause she will be on a trip with her new one to the sea. I hope this will lead to a good friendship with her I really hope it and I have some feeling that this can be done since we even felt like good friends today at the bar. We even laughed some bit.

Well then, really thank you for all your help!