Lockjaw

Had this discussion with an associate the other day and he maintains that if a guy prefers woman on the top sex that he harbors submissive longings.
I says it's not true because that's my favorite position and I just like the view but I do enjoy being ridden like a horse. However I've never had a deep desire to be dominated by my partner. So what say you? Am I really deep down a sub crying to be let out or is my buddy a nutjob? I say nutjob.

boredom

Maybe, though i also enjoy the view, also its a time for me to relax and just have her go wild.

I dont really have any submissive longings, i have more of a domination longing if shes on top, because i can tell her to just get off but thats just me.

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ShaniFaye

In our relationship....Dave's the dominant one in the bedroom 90% of the time....Im always on top he's still just as much in control under me as he is behind or above me...when Im the dominant one Im on top and he's tied up

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Glory's Sun

if you have submissive tendencies they will present in other areas than the bedroom. It isn't just a sexual thing. You could have some sub tendencies, you do say you've never had a "deep desire to be dominated by my partner" this could mean you are slightly submissive or it could just mean that you like the fantasy role. A true sub performs acts of submission in and out of the bedroom. Oh and just to add clarity to that, Submissive doesn't equal Slave.

ShaniFaye

I have to agree with guccilvr....as I've stated before...when Dave and I met we were both dominant..him a master and me a mistress....we found a way for it to mesh in our everyday lives that works very well for us...out of the bedroom he is the submissive and enjoys it greatly....much more than being master 100% of the time....same for me the bedroom is the ONLY place I give up being mistress...

what Im getting at is that we both had sumbmissive tendancies even though the majority of our time was spent being dominant, and fortunately for us those times are the opposite of each others....having a woman on top doesnt necessarily mean sub tendancies at all.....its amazing how controlling you can be from down there

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MageB420666

I would have to say that the positions you have sex in don't have anything to do with being submissive/dominant, unless chains or restraints are involved. Different positions bring different pleasures. I like my girlfriend riding me because it lets me relax and enjoy, provides ample access to her breasts, and it's really easy to kiss her. Sometimes in that position I start thrusting and it is actually better for her that way because I can thrust a lost faster that way then when I'm on top.

Sex is not always about domination and submission, although it can be. Many times sex is just about giving and recieving pleasure and/or love. Although that is not to say that the two are mutually exclusive, can still exchange pleasure and/or love while being dominant/submissive.

So in conclusion of this long response, I would have to say that I do not agree with your associate.

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TheBrit

Something a certain someone said while sitting on top of me earlier:
"I really like it up here, I feel... in charge... grrr".

FatherTed

I like her on top as it give me a great opportunity to fondle Not complicated !
Unless my subconsious is not telling me something

lunchbox

I like a woman on top because as has been mentioned its a great view and it lets my girlfriend show me where it feels the best for her by moving her hips. not to mention feeling those hips move its hott and also its a different sensation from me doing her doggy style or on top of her. it just affords the opportunity to pleasure different parts of the vagina without using toys or the like.

Rinndalir

Well my wife is one of those rare women who fucks you just as much as you fuck her - she's VERY active and when she's on top she rides me like no tomorrow

If that makes me submissive then sure, I'll submit every time...

Coppertop

I don't see the correlation. On top, under, behind: it's all good.

Lockjaw

See that's what I thought but he wouldn't budge on the opinion. I guess I'll have to bring up the "outside of the bedroom" angle next time we tilt. While I'm not pushy in the relationship I think most of my exs would say I was the one "in charge".

ShaniFaye

In a true sub/dom relationship....there is no such thing as "pushy"

(just an fyi for ya lol)

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Penndude

I can agree with the orginal assessment. I enjoy letting her take control, and doing what she wants. Her being on top allows her to set the pace and rhythm...I also enjoy the view, especially when she does it with her back to me....

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eagle1

For me, with her being on top, I can use both my hands alot more and relax and enjoy it more.

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PayUp

I think most dudes are happy for the simple fact they are gettin some. how the get it isn't an issue.
Me personally I like when the wife is on top because she has nice large naturals that move in whole different way when she is gettin busy. Plus she can move at her own pace.

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Rlyss

My sister firmly believes that someone's food choice reflects their personality. She says that someone who likes fruit is generally a passive, calm person, and that people who like spicy foods are hot-headed and fiesty.

Pure bullshit, pop-psychology, coincedence, all that stuff. There is no link between personality and food choice.

And I think the same goes for those sexual positions. It's easy to say 'Oh, she's on top, she must be dominant and he must be submissive, and it must be unconscious because they don't admit it.' If someone's consciously or unconsciously submissive then it'll show up in many more ways than just having his partner on top.

Having the woman on top is just another position, it might feel good for one or both, but I don't think your friend can necessarily say it shows an unsconscious desire to be dominated.

ShaniFaye

Im hot headed and fiesty and I prefer fruit to hot and spicy....tell your sister shes incorrect lol

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TheBrit

I love hot and spicy foods as much as fruit. Not at the same time though.

CatharticWeek

I think I've got a raging inner submissive just bursting to get out. I've got fantasies about being tied up and blindfolded but I've unfortunately had some very conservitive partners. :-(

portereight

I am reminded of the line "sometimes a banana is just a banana".
The problem with pop psychology is that it presupposes a connection between two possibly disconnected items, and then uses that connection to analyze it's meaning without first offering evidence for any connection.

MSD

If she's on top, you're lying back and making her do all the work. Maybe that means that you're really the dominant one.

Untitled

^^ Oooh, interesting thought.... I like it.

I prefer being the one on top, just because it's easier for me to get off that way. It has nothing to do with being dominant or submissive for me...

Willravel

If I'm on my back, that means I'm tired (or she started while I was asleep). If I'm not on my back that means I'm not tired. Ditto for the Mrs.

guthmund

I like "woman on top" because I'm inherently lazy.

If a woman feels the need to "dominate" me, well then, my inner lazy bastard thanks you.

She controls the pace. She can adjust how she sees fit.
I'm on my back. Hands free to roam and eyes free to enjoy the view.

It's a win-win situation for me....for both of us

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cokelvr

Woman on tops is awesome. I love watching my wife as she gets into getting herself off.

Johnny Rotten

I think your associate has dedicated too much time to the psychiatric significance of sexual positions. The last thing I need is a dominant/submissive hangup distracting me from getting my groove on

Homey_V

Seems like crap to me. I like woman on top just because its less work and she enjoys it more. And the view isnt so bad either.

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OzOz

I'd agree with the "Sometimes a banana is just a banana" comment, and add ", especially when it's a banana."

For me, it feels better when I'm on top, but I certainly enjoy having the woman on top, as the view is pretty wonderful.

I don't trust "deep and hidden" meanings, especially when they're hidden from the person who's actually saying or doing whatever it is that is "supposed" to have a deep and hidden meaning.

jillian

well for me at least it doesnt have to do with being dominant over my man it has to do what feels good... and on top feels good.. now i might be dominant in telling him to lie back and enjoy but in all actuallity im submissive to what he has inside me.. if u know what i mean..lol

Squishor

I agree with this - when I'm on top, I'm quite aware that I'm doing all the work and he gets to lie back and enjoy. It's not the position that gives me the most pleasure and I do it mostly when he wants it.