online dating sites - can they work? which one? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Strange Famous · 09-12-2004, 03:56 AM

Well... Im thinking about maybe I will join one. I used to know a guy who sold pirate DVD's who would tell me whenever I saw him that he was meeting with a different woman he'd met on ICQ for sex... but I dont know how its done! But the problem is - well on top of me basically not being very attractive, and being too shy to approach girls most of the time anyway... is that I never meet anyone.

I dont tend to go clubbing or to bars that often nowadays, and even when I was younger and I used to I didnt really ever meet anyone that anything meaningful came about with. When I was at school and college it is easy to meet girls, but now the only people I meet are at work - and that would never work. I did go on a couple of dates earlier this year, and it kind of boosted my confidence a little. I mean, I know I am overweight, but I still think, on the scale of things, there are less dateable guys about... I think Im pretty nice, most of the time, and Im fairly bright, and I make people laugh a lot... well, anyway... so the main question is, that I am thinking I will join one online dating site and see how it goes, but I wondered if anyone had any experience of any site, which one is the best for me (being in the UK?) - I looked at Match.com once, but they dont have many people registered from England on it so there didnt seem much point. I dont know if I am that convinced of the chance of online relationships become real life... I have been sufing the net about 5 years now, and have never met anyone I've known online, and in all that time I could only say I have two friends - people that I would really say where friends - and one of them is in Idaho and one in Cali.

But, again back to the point... I just dont meet anyone very often to even have the potential for a relationship with, more and more online seems to be an acceptable to meet people - I guess I have nothing to lose from it, another than the joining fee and maybe a little dignity!

ShaniFaye · 09-12-2004, 05:02 AM

First of all SF, you're very cute so stop with the "Im not all that attractive stuff" If I lived in the UK I'd definately go out with you.

I can say that Dave and I are an online dating sites success story. We met on redpersonals.com (I dont know if they are international or not, and I dont have an account anymore so I cant check) Our first meeting was on Sept 18 of last year and have not been apart since. We got engaged this year and plan to be married in 2005. So..yes I can personally say that online dating can become real life. I went out with a few guys from there before Dave and it was fun, if not just to meet different people...

I see no reason why you should see it as a loss of a little dignity.

Good Luck if you decide to do it....oh and QUIT PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN damn it hehe

maleficent · 09-12-2004, 05:39 AM

For every success story with internet dating, there's me...

I'm not as bitter as I sound, well maybe I am.

Maybe it's a location thing, or an age thing, or a gender thing, I'm not so sure, but when I tried out the whole internet dating thing, I found that unless you were a supermodel, you were a great big dumb loser. You could come across as intelligent, amusing, and in possession of a personality (I gave really good ad) but unless you looked a certain way, no nibbles at all.

BUT, that's me... SF, you are adorable, those smiling pictures of yours are too cute, you are smart, witty, cute as a button (someone explain this phrase to me), place the ad, you'll do fine.

Just a word of advice on your ad, don't write just two sentences, me male, me want to get laid -- or something like that -- write something about yourself, but leave them wanting more... Show your personality...

Check out:
www.friendfinder.com (adultfriendfinder is for the kinkier folks)

jusfeel · 09-12-2004, 06:24 AM

What I want to tell is that watch out for aids!

Strange Famous · 09-12-2004, 06:31 AM

too self depreciating?

Quote:

Well, I am not sure what to say about myself. I have an ok job (I work for a very small part of the German post office), I am based in Ipswich, where I have lived all my life apart from university. At the moment I rent a small apartment just off Norwich Road, I used to have a car, but it was a Skoda, and so it died, and now I dont have a car. I look just like the picture, I am a bit heavy, but I've been trying to lose some weight, so maybe soon I can upgrade from "large" to "a bit overweight" - I like sports, I play tennis and squash, and a little bit of football (work team).
I like going out, and staying in - so that covers everything... if I had a date I would like to take them to an expensive restaurant and enjoy fine wines and gourmet food - but I couldnt really afford it - but I could definitely stretch to a nice meal and some average wine.

I guess the reason I am registering on this site, is that I find it hard to meet people these days, ever since school and university really - the only people I tend to meet are through work, or going out on the town, but it's difficult to meet anyone that way, and I am a little shy I suppose.

People say I have a good sense of humour, I have memorised a lot of other people's jokes anyway, I'd like to think I am a nice guy... I hope for that on this site I might be able to meet new people anyway, and if anything else develops then - well obviously that would be cool - but I dont really have any particular expectations. So, anyway, I am not very good at making an advert for myself - if you want to, definitely hit me up.

Oh, other stuff - I'm 26, my religion is "other" because I am agnostic - but a little spiritual - I suppose, and that wasnt on the list. One day I would like to write the great American novel... one day...

btw - the tag line is just a line from a song. I dont really hate the game. I dont think.

maleficent · 09-12-2004, 06:47 AM

I'd probably leave off the part about the car-- and that you rent a small apartment' (you're coming down too hard on yourself...) Women aren't all about money, and it sounds like you are weeding out the gold diggers, which is good, but let that info come in conversations...

Which pic are you using?

For the BTW -- flirt with it a little bit -- a kiss to the lady who can identify where the tag line is from....

Otherwise it's good...

Strange Famous · 09-12-2004, 07:29 AM

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/attachm...tid=6798&stc=1

This picture, which I also posted on the exhibition board (my winning smile!)

*Nikki* · 09-12-2004, 02:43 PM

Well I met my man online and after 18 months we are going strong and planning a future. I went on www.date.com to check out a friends profile and ended up signing up there kinda to see what would happen. Everyone had always told me to stay away from online dating so that is exactly why I did it!!

I say go for it. You don't know until you try!

LiquidSquid · 09-12-2004, 03:05 PM

I've had some success with www.okcupid.com. It's by the guys who worked on The Spark, if you're familiar with their many tests. Anyways, it seems to have a fairly sophisticated matching system, users from all over, and, most importantly, a majority of young women. Take a look.

Flyguy · 09-12-2004, 04:19 PM

Flygirl's cousin stayed with us for a couple of days cause she wanted to meet a guy she met on match.com and he lived in our area. Their first meeting wen't pretty well but it's only been a week or so so we'll see what happens.

Carno · 09-12-2004, 04:33 PM

"- but I couldnt really afford it - but I could definitely stretch to a nice meal and some average wine."

Definitely get rid of that line.

cj2112 · 09-12-2004, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carn

"- but I couldnt really afford it - but I could definitely stretch to a nice meal and some average wine."

Definitely get rid of that line.

i disagree.... i think it's the best line of the profile....made me laugh

maleficent · 09-12-2004, 04:43 PM

I agree - -I like that line... Shows personality and it's honest without coming downtoo hard on yourself.

Carno · 09-12-2004, 04:52 PM

Yeah that is true, but I would at least change "average wine" to maybe "good wine".

I dunno, that line kinda irks me for some reason. I don't know much about online dating, but I wouldn't really like someone who's profile mentioned only bad parts about them.

Try to build yourself up more. I don't recommend being deceitful in any way, but don't make yourself seem so bland.

ShaniFaye · 09-12-2004, 05:04 PM

I like the line....it goes a long way into showing that you're not pretending to be something you're not...which is VERY hard to find when trying to meet someone online....I find it indicative of how you are on here...honest and able to laugh at YOURSELF, which is a great quality....I'd answer an ad like that

maleficent · 09-12-2004, 05:05 PM

Excellent point -- You have one chance to make an impression... Sell yourself...

OK, so you don't have a lot of money.. You are employed, you are college educated, you have a sense of humor... Focus on the good things.

09-12-2004, 03:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	online dating sites - can they work? which one? Well... Im thinking about maybe I will join one. I used to know a guy who sold pirate DVD's who would tell me whenever I saw him that he was meeting with a different woman he'd met on ICQ for sex... but I dont know how its done! But the problem is - well on top of me basically not being very attractive, and being too shy to approach girls most of the time anyway... is that I never meet anyone. I dont tend to go clubbing or to bars that often nowadays, and even when I was younger and I used to I didnt really ever meet anyone that anything meaningful came about with. When I was at school and college it is easy to meet girls, but now the only people I meet are at work - and that would never work. I did go on a couple of dates earlier this year, and it kind of boosted my confidence a little. I mean, I know I am overweight, but I still think, on the scale of things, there are less dateable guys about... I think Im pretty nice, most of the time, and Im fairly bright, and I make people laugh a lot... well, anyway... so the main question is, that I am thinking I will join one online dating site and see how it goes, but I wondered if anyone had any experience of any site, which one is the best for me (being in the UK?) - I looked at Match.com once, but they dont have many people registered from England on it so there didnt seem much point. I dont know if I am that convinced of the chance of online relationships become real life... I have been sufing the net about 5 years now, and have never met anyone I've known online, and in all that time I could only say I have two friends - people that I would really say where friends - and one of them is in Idaho and one in Cali. But, again back to the point... I just dont meet anyone very often to even have the potential for a relationship with, more and more online seems to be an acceptable to meet people - I guess I have nothing to lose from it, another than the joining fee and maybe a little dignity! __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

09-12-2004, 05:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	First of all SF, you're very cute so stop with the "Im not all that attractive stuff" If I lived in the UK I'd definately go out with you. I can say that Dave and I are an online dating sites success story. We met on redpersonals.com (I dont know if they are international or not, and I dont have an account anymore so I cant check) Our first meeting was on Sept 18 of last year and have not been apart since. We got engaged this year and plan to be married in 2005. So..yes I can personally say that online dating can become real life. I went out with a few guys from there before Dave and it was fun, if not just to meet different people... I see no reason why you should see it as a loss of a little dignity. Good Luck if you decide to do it....oh and QUIT PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN damn it hehe __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

09-12-2004, 05:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	For every success story with internet dating, there's me... I'm not as bitter as I sound, well maybe I am. Maybe it's a location thing, or an age thing, or a gender thing, I'm not so sure, but when I tried out the whole internet dating thing, I found that unless you were a supermodel, you were a great big dumb loser. You could come across as intelligent, amusing, and in possession of a personality (I gave really good ad) but unless you looked a certain way, no nibbles at all. BUT, that's me... SF, you are adorable, those smiling pictures of yours are too cute, you are smart, witty, cute as a button (someone explain this phrase to me), place the ad, you'll do fine. Just a word of advice on your ad, don't write just two sentences, me male, me want to get laid -- or something like that -- write something about yourself, but leave them wanting more... Show your personality... Check out: www.friendfinder.com (adultfriendfinder is for the kinkier folks) __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

09-12-2004, 06:47 AM	#6 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I'd probably leave off the part about the car-- and that you rent a small apartment' (you're coming down too hard on yourself...) Women aren't all about money, and it sounds like you are weeding out the gold diggers, which is good, but let that info come in conversations... Which pic are you using? For the BTW -- flirt with it a little bit -- a kiss to the lady who can identify where the tag line is from.... Otherwise it's good... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

09-12-2004, 07:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/attachm...tid=6798&stc=1 This picture, which I also posted on the exhibition board (my winning smile!) __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

09-12-2004, 06:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
jusfeel Upright	What I want to tell is that watch out for aids!

09-12-2004, 02:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Well I met my man online and after 18 months we are going strong and planning a future. I went on www.date.com to check out a friends profile and ended up signing up there kinda to see what would happen. Everyone had always told me to stay away from online dating so that is exactly why I did it!! I say go for it. You don't know until you try!

09-12-2004, 03:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
LiquidSquid Upright Location: Ottawa (frozen hellscape)	I've had some success with www.okcupid.com. It's by the guys who worked on The Spark, if you're familiar with their many tests. Anyways, it seems to have a fairly sophisticated matching system, users from all over, and, most importantly, a majority of young women. Take a look. __________________ "There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking." - Benjamin Franklin

09-12-2004, 04:19 PM	#10 (permalink)
Flyguy Banned Location: Swooping down on you from above....	Flygirl's cousin stayed with us for a couple of days cause she wanted to meet a guy she met on match.com and he lived in our area. Their first meeting wen't pretty well but it's only been a week or so so we'll see what happens.

09-12-2004, 04:33 PM	#11 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	"- but I couldnt really afford it - but I could definitely stretch to a nice meal and some average wine." Definitely get rid of that line. __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

09-12-2004, 04:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I agree - -I like that line... Shows personality and it's honest without coming downtoo hard on yourself. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

09-12-2004, 04:52 PM	#14 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Yeah that is true, but I would at least change "average wine" to maybe "good wine". I dunno, that line kinda irks me for some reason. I don't know much about online dating, but I wouldn't really like someone who's profile mentioned only bad parts about them. Try to build yourself up more. I don't recommend being deceitful in any way, but don't make yourself seem so bland. __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

09-12-2004, 05:04 PM	#15 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I like the line....it goes a long way into showing that you're not pretending to be something you're not...which is VERY hard to find when trying to meet someone online....I find it indicative of how you are on here...honest and able to laugh at YOURSELF, which is a great quality....I'd answer an ad like that __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

09-12-2004, 05:05 PM	#16 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Excellent point -- You have one chance to make an impression... Sell yourself... OK, so you don't have a lot of money.. You are employed, you are college educated, you have a sense of humor... Focus on the good things. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.