Windbreaker

Hey tilted.. I been trolling the forums for a while now, I like to search the site when I have a problem with things. It would seem every problem I ever had someone else has had one similiar and posted about it.. I read through the things to find some usefull information. This site is full of usefull information.

Well, I got myself into a more or less unique situation.. Unique enough that my searches led me no where so I am making this post.

Over the last 2 years I've been extremely attracted to my best friends sister.. She is 2 years younger then me (i turned 18 recently). We talked all the time, she called me her "best friend" and it was pretty clear I was.. I was atleast closer to her then anyone else that I knew of, she talked to me constantly on the phone, after 8 months she moved to Montanna to live with her mom. During the roughly 8 months she spent in Montanna we talked on the phone almost everyday.. I didn't see myself in a relationship with her but at times I wished it..

She eventualy moved back to sunny nor cal.. And we continued to talk to each other on a regular bases. About 3 weeks ago I accompanied there family on a week long camping trip to FortBragg.. During the trip we found ourself getting closer then we ever had.. It got to the point of us dry humping each other and her wanting sex.. Well shortly after this blessing from God her dad caught me checking her for breast cancer.. Lucky me it was the 2nd to last day of the camping trip so I only had to spend 2 agonising days with a man who wanted to kick my skull in.. Nevertheless I felt we had advanced the relationship to the nxt level.. She gave me the impression we did but to my dismay she calls me from her cousins (her dad wont let her use the phone) and they are planning to go to mantika(sp) for the day.. Her cousin asks me what I would think of Jes (my gf, or so I thought) having a booty call..

Didn't quite know what to tell her.. I had thought all this time we were dating, she never gave me a reason to think otherwise.. So I said "I would be disapointed" trying to act as if I never thought we were in a relationship.. Don't ask me why, I felt hurt inside but I didn't want to show it...

Her cousin gives jes the phone and I ask her if she is planning to have sex with this guy at Mantika and she turns to her cousin and asks "Think we will have sex?" and I can hear her cousins reply "Yes... well I don't know". Had a loss of words.. Paused for a good second and then forced myself to choke back any feelings/emotions and to just played it off like it wasnt really my concern... After a while I asked her if she wanted to have a "booty call" with me.. She asked me what I thought and I said yes, I knew she wanted to have sex with me but I don't want sex..

I want a relationship.. A girl to wrap my arms around and spoil and I want it to last.. I couldn't see myself having a booty call.. Not with a girl who has sex like that, to me thats like disrespecting your body ( my opinion ). So anyways, that night I couldn't sleep (last night). I ended up falling asleep around 4, woke up at 6 and txt msgs her hopeing she has fun at mantika and asked her to not have a booty call pls..

Feel like I should just shut her out of my life because a relationship with her would only leave me emotionaly ravaged.. I keep trying to find it in myself to have a "booty call" with her, but I feel soon as we have sex I will want more.. I can't get off without there being passion involved.. I tried to have a booty call before.. I couldnt get off to it, sex to me is more then just the sex part..

So I guess what I am getting at is.. Do I place my emotions aside and fuck her or maybe I should tell her how I feel? Then there is always moveing her aside and letting life go on.. Your opinions on the situation is greatly appreciated.

Would also like to add that I am sorry for my horrible spelling and grammer..

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maleficent

This girl sounds like she is a handful, and has a wicked rebellious streak in her.

You both have different attitudes towards sex, Prude Alert her attitude towards sex at such a young age, (she's 16? ) scares the hell out of me. (Casual sex, I don't necessarily think is wrong, or bad, but at that age, when you are really just learning your body -- it's not healthy)

She may come around towards your way of thinking, but you
might have a hard time with the journey that she's been on.

Talk to her, and tell her how you feel about her, and what you want with her, see if she wants the same things? If she doesn't then cut your losses now, because there are tons of young women out there that would love a guy like you.

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Sargeman

It sounds to me that she is just looking for a "good time" and not a relationship. Especially if you guys are apart in distance from each other.

Talk to her and ask her what she thinks of the relationship that the two of you share/shared. See what her response is and then go from there.

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Seaver

As always maleficent gives perfect advice.

You both want very different things. She's listening to her raging hormones. At the same time she is rebelling against her father, AND against the creed of not doing your best friends sister.

If you can hold back your emotions go ahead and have your fun, but I doubt she'll like it if you come out and explain what you're feeling for her. It'll turn her off, trust me it never works like it does in the movies, they only lose interest.

If you cant hold back your feelings for her I suggest cutting your losses. Lets face it even if you ended up getting together with her, her dad would be in your face about every little thing... not a good way to start out. If he caught you feeling her up after trusting you enough on a camping trip, think what he'll be imagining you two doing while you're going out together.

dabossy2k

Man I have a completly different opinon about this one. It is true that this girl probably does have a different out look on sex then you do. But telling her how you feel is probably only going to push her away. For some odd reason girls seem to want only what they cant have. They live for the chase just like us. While I am sure that some girls out there would love to hear a guy tell them how much they care bout them and how you are feeling. Most dont and after you do they will probably give you the I like you as a friend line.

I think your best bet now is to just have some fun your young date, get to know yourself, do the things you like to do. Like Mal said there are a ton of girls out there who would like you.

On a side not, has anyone else noticed a trend in the US mostly but a trend non the less of role reversals. Seems like guys now a days talk more about feelings and suchs where as girls are doing the whole sex craze thing and just running around doing whatever/whoever they want. DOn't know just a thought.

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VTBrian

My Sociology Proff. gave a lecture one day on how teens that have lots of sex, are generaly much more inclined to have mental health issues, and suffer from manic depression. Speaking from experiance a relationship with someone who suffers from depression is no walk in the park.

screamincheetah

I agree with Maleficent on the idea of at 16 she is treading in dangerous waters. I know I don't fully "get" the youth today. I'm only 28, but I feel very, very far removed from what's happening at the high school level today. Nothing like it when I was there. Anyway, if she's already this sexual and throwing it out as if it were candy, then she may easily have some emotional issues that you would be best served to stay away from. Plus, man to man, she's a Sophomore and you're graduated I'm guessing. It's time to get some adults. I'm being a hypocrite, as I dated a 16 year old at 18, but from a lesson learned stand point, it's best all the way around to move on. She's still in high school and in that world, and you'll be trying to distance yourself from that world. For all reasons, run, run, run like the wind away from this situation. If not, you'll end up being hurt in some way. My two cents....

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Carno

16 isn't that young of an age to be having sex, at least not today.. Most girls I knew when I was 16 had had sex at least once. Now that I'm 19, all the girls I know put out like a mofo. And it's not like I live in a big city or anything.

Anyways, I'm kinda like you, sex isn't that good for me unless there is a relationship behind it. If I was in your position, I'd probably back off.

Whatever you do, don't become a lapdog begging for a relationship with her. Either tell her how you feel and then leave it up to her, or just back away. You will only push her away if you start acting like a desperate stalker, demanding that she not have sex with anyone and shit like that.

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Meier_Link

Sounds like you're lonely and she's horny. Here's my bad advice stemming from dysfunctional relationships: If you start having sex with her on a regular basis it will probably evolve into a relationship eventually. First you'll both start to get jealous of thinking about the other with someone else, next people will begin to ask if you are going out (a question that can either be dodged, shrugged off in a "I guess so" sort of way, or answered "We just fuck" which might spur your friend to have to defend his sisters honor), and finally you will both have to make up your minds as to whether you want to settle down with the person or if you've crossed a line you never intended to and need to end the relationship asap.

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Windbreaker

You guys are great. Thank you all for your replys.. Sorry it took so long to thank you, I just got back from a 3 day family camp trip..

I figure for now I will just be the same person I was always to her, a friend. Honestly liked what we have and what we have + sex is even better.. ill try it, maybe it could be passionet since I do care about her.. If it's to weird I'll move on.

Thanks again.

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The Phenomenon

Kids are crazy nowdays :/

Its not even strange over here for kids of 11/12 to be having sex nowadays. IMO thats way too young. I'd say 18 atleast.

shakran

yeah, have sex with her. Then when her dad catches you (And he probably will) he can bring you up on charges of statutory rape. You'll have to go through life as a registered sex offender. Sounds like fun eh?

Meier_Link

If she's 16 and he's 18 that's not statutory rape. Most state have age of consent laws for 16, and for statutory rape there has to be at least a 4 year age difference.

ManWithAPlan

tell her how you feel, if you don't do it you will most likely regret it for a long time.
after that just try to forget about her, if she comes to you, you give her an ultimatum, if she doesn't... good thing you were trying to forget about her.

Girls are trubbuh

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