redarrow

Ok well Ive been with this girl for about two weeks..weve known each other for about a month.. yeah.
So heres the story: About three weeks ago, she said she liked me, and we exchanged phone numbers etc. etc. (cuz I do like her too) and later that week we got together for coffee. The next day we went and watched all the high schoolers graduate.
That saturday we got coffee again (and I made my move )
Then that tuesday we played some mini-golf. Fun times.

From then on, it all turned bad. Everyday she says she's busy when I call her to see if she can hang out. Theres always some excuse. A few examples: Friday (yesterday) she couldnt hang out cuz she had to teach some kids karate .
Tuesday she had to go to her grandma's house.
We havent seen each other in person for two weeks.

Theres another thing.. Today she said she had to go to her sisters house. Later I talk to her friend and she says that the two of them are seeing a movie. Now shes lying to me? wtf?!

Anyways.. what do you guys think is up? Should I cut it off?

thanks in advance

SinisterMotives

Yeah, cut it off. Apparently she already has.

wonderwench

Or, she is confused. I'd give her some space for a couple of weeks. If you still feel drawn to her, give it one more shot. If she is still unavailable, then you'll have your answer.

SinisterMotives

I would ordinarily agree with Wenchie here, but lying in order to avoid you two weeks into the relationship doesn't bode well. A lot of girls won't come right out and tell you they're not interested because they're afraid it will hurt your feelings, so they make endless excuses for why they can't go out. That's what this one sounds like to me. At the least, just stop calling her and leave the ball in her court.

analog

This will be harsh, but it's the truth.

I don't think you were really ever dating. If you had a "fun" night when you mini-golfed, and then it went to hell and avoidance, she was merely unable to express her disinterest in a way that you understood.

She doesn't want to date you, you should break it off. There's a tiny chance i'm wrong, which can be corrected by simply asking her. She'll tell you what's what.

Kazic

I agree with Analog on this one. She is not interested.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

timalkin

I'd definitely quit calling her. If she ever calls you again, act surprised, like you don't know why she'd be calling you. Passive-aggressive I admit.

DelayedReaction

Yeah, it never really happened man. Sorry things didn't go right, but them's the breaks.

Sooner or later you'll end up just accepting that shit like this happens, and deal with it accordingly. Most people just aren't meant to work out. Fortunately your right hand will never leave you, and your left is always there in times of need.

__________________
If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

MSD

Leave a message. Tell her that you just want her to tell you if she isn't interested. Something like, "If you're breaking things off, it would be nice to let me know."

Church

/me ques Jay Z's 99 Problems chorus

__________________
Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

Shades

Here is yet another moment that can be phrased in terms of Ladder Theory. Here's the link:Ladder Theory Now here's the relevant quote:

I've been there, it sucks. This won't be the last time it happens. Try not to beat yourself up, every guy has been there, it's not a big deal and you're not any worse than anyone else for being in this situation.

Buk

The ladder theory owns, and its soo true. Damn women and their chutes and ladders games...

nanofever

Yuppers.

I wish schools would teach useful knowledge like this.

__________________
I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."

Rush

Holy shit!
That ladder theory is pure gold!

Now all i need is an explanation why women rather keep genuine good guys as mates and end up shagging arrogant self centered twats that treat them like shit.

Women. Pfft. Pass me a pint.


Oh and redarrow. Get the hell out of there man.
My philosophy. have to work enough for money. I ain't working for love too. If something good's gonna happen it will. And that's when it's truely good

ratbastid

Who knows what happened, but you don't need us to see the results. She's clearly not interested. Why throw attention after her?

Cue the mantra: It's Her Loss. She Doesn't Know What She's Missing.

Better luck next time, big guy.

Strange Famous

if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems...

Erm, sorry.

I guess she is just trying to let you down with out actually coming out and saying it, which is kind of lame on her part, in your position I would just quit chasing and move on, I might have one go at saying "ok, look, I guess it isnt working out?" just so I knew for sure, I mean, at least that way you have some closure on it.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Strange Famous

JAY Z??????

ICE, ICE m.f. T!!!!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

doncalypso

Let's face it... she's not interested in you the same way you're interested in her. And more important, she's probably fucking some other guy and doesn't plan on ever letting you in her pants.

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

SinisterMotives

It has been my experience that girls who behave this way don't care if you get closure or not. In their view, there was nothing there to begin with, and therefore no closure is required. So it would probably be a waste of time to even look for it.

redarrow

Ok thank you guys for the replies.
I guess I should have added one thing..
Last Thursday she said she could do something next week.
For sure.
So what does that mean?

wilbjammin

It sounds like she's busy. Maybe she's not a point in her life where she can't focus on creating and maintaining relationships as the highest priority above other things. Have a talk with her and ask her to be realistic about what kind of time commitments she has to see if there really is room in her life, if you decide that you still like her.

__________________
Innominate.

Shades

Also, tell specifically that you do not want this to be a "ninja-bitch."

Kazic

Ladder theory? explains so much.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

BooRadley

chumps

1) read the ladder theory
2) come to grips with your misogyny
3) get laid

or

1) have oneitis for a girl who doesn't like you and not get laid

Seems like an easy decision to me.

Redarrow, cut the shit off , she's not interested.

HockeyGuy

Sorry bud, but i'm getting the feelign that shes not interested... prob start lookign elsewhere. unfortunatly begin the process again, but hopefully with the right results next time

Weezil

Sounds all too typical. I'd say you did something on one of those meetings to stop her from being attracted to you i.e. saying or acting in a way that makes you look needly, buying her stuff to try and win affection instead of earning it, generally acting wussy-like, etc. Even if you got a smooch or something, you can still ruin it.

I've come to realize that Ladder Theory is good, but incomplete. It doesn't say that you, by your actions can determine what ladder you get put on immediately. It also doesn't tell you what actions to do, either. It does typify the type of guy that succeeds but doesn't explain why (it tries but doesn't get there).

Don't get me wrong, it's a powerful tool. But then again, Darwin is only a mechanism and doesn't explain how things got started the same way as Creationism totally neglects cross-species similarities and the fossil record. Meshing LT with what the Fast Seduction101 guys say has really thrown my thinking about the fairer sex in a totally different direction.

Sorry dude, you blew it.

rainheart

Ladder Theory sucks.
Fast Seduction 101 is a LOT CLOSER.
But simply the BEST (as far as I know) place to seek explanations is a book called "How to make anyone fall in love with you" by Leil Lowndes. I'm too lazy to link but it's there on amazon.com

(The book is a lot like fast seduction 101 and it reiterates similar ideas but it takes a less 'gimmicky' approach, and even though it's written by a woman, it's written a lot better than FS101 could ever make it)

Blackthorn

Move on. It's a grand grand world out there with many other, strike that and say better, choices

__________________
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

strife

Just ask her. Worse case scenario it's already over.

__________________
You are what you love, not what loves you.

strife