redarrow

No, aliens arent invading us (or are they?)

Okay so heres the story- I met this girl a few weeks ago, we have a lot in common (we both LOVE oldies and play guitar [not that either of us is any good..haha]) So anyways, when ever I see her (lets just call her sweet leaf [my nickname for her]) I give her a high-five, and she holds my hand for a few seconds, as if we were together! Then, later when we have to go our separate ways, i give her props (ghetto handshake) and she puts her arm around me and (sort of) hugs me.

BTW we're not together (yet), we just got out of relationships with other people. Sometimes we hang out and talk, other times its on AIM or something

Now, are these signs that she likes me, and we should start something? Or am I better off searching for other girls?

thanks in advance!

impulse03

definitely stick with her if you would like something to develop. although since you are just getting out of a breakup, you may want to give it time. but hell, at least you are definitely making a new friend.

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BLUE HENS!

MSD

Definitely signs that you're connecting with her. See how she reacts if you hold the hug for a bit longer than usual, little stuff like that, and you can be farily certain fairly quickly.

fallenangel

Take it easy and don't rush into anything, but sounds like you guys are off to a good start! Yay for fuzzy feelings!

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redarrow

Yeah Im thinking of taking her to a movie in a few weeks (think early june/late may), or something along the lines of a date.

Oh and yes I will be seeing her tomorrow so I will try to get that hug to last a lil longer :-)

Seaver

No no no no no no no...

Never do a movie as a date... not until the 3rd week or so.

Does she like you?..

Well... if you get hit by a 2x4 will you feel it?
if you slam your finger in your cardoor do you get a slight sensation?
if you put your hand on a hot stove do you feel more than a slight tingle?

If you said yes to any of these than you are a human being.

The point of all this? Yes she likes you, and she's been hitting you with the 2x4 in womanese trying to get you to notice it.

Now your question what do you do?

1) Keep it light, keep her having fun and dont put on any moves
2) For the first "date" take her to play pool/bowl/put-put, something light which ensures she'll have fun. This also gets her to question if its a date or not, you dont answer if she asks (just give her a smile, it'll drive her nuts). This way if she's really interested it'll turn into a date, if not you both have fun (and not spend too much)... just make sure its just you two, no friends.
3) IF it comes to this, never never never ask to kiss her. Ask any woman their thoughts on it not one will say it's cute/sincere... only makes you look stupid and the answer will amost always be no (even if 10sec before they were dying to kiss you).

Those are the 3 big 'uns. The main thing is to be at ease, whatever you've been doing at this point is working so keep it up.

P.S. The reason not to take her to a movie is because there's no conversation, and nothing to do other than look 90degrees away from each other for 1.5-2 hrs.

MooseMan3000

Seaver. Not to be a condescending fuck, but those rules are complete bunk. "Rules" cannot be applied to relationships.

I've asked plenty of women if I could kiss them, all with positive results. I've also just done it. It depends ENTIRELY upon the woman I'm with.

And movies are fine as a first date... if she's that kind of woman. My current girlfriend is a movie fanatic. We watch movies, play video games, and have an excellent time together. Yes, we play pool and all that... but our first "date" was watching a movie together in her room and playing some sort of video game together. We're perfectly happy together.

And many of the girls I've been with have enjoyed it when the FIRST thing I did was "put the moves on them." I'm a physical kind of guy, and I generally find it easier to communicate an emotion by touching someone than talking to them. It's worked just fine as a first move.



So my point is... you can't be sure about any of that. Really, you have to play it by ear. In much the same way that every woman is different, every woman's tastes are different. By trying to apply rules to them, you degrade every woman you talk to into a generic ball of flesh. If that's what you feel, I'm not going to judge you. I'm just saying we don't ALL feel that way.


And redarrow, my advice is this: just pay attention to her. Listen to her, watch her. From your description, it sounds like she is sending out signals, but the only way you can be sure is by communicating. With HER. Whether that's through talking or other means is totally up to you, but it sounds like you have a pretty good idea of what you're doing anyway. I wish you the best of luck, and enjoy yourself.

NoSoup

redarrow

Thanks guys for the comments..
Yeah other guys say movie=bad first date.
We might just spend a night walking around town.

So today when I saw her we talked about guitars (she had printed out some hundred pages of tabs so we went over those)
and normal stuff. We also talked about don mc lean and the beatles.
After our props I pulled off a complete hug (the ones I was mentioning before were with one arm)
I dont have her phone # yet, when should I ask for it?
(weve done talking on AIM)

Toodles

PS ill make sure to really listen to her, and remember stuff she said (if thats what you mean)

wilbjammin

Here's what I think... do what feels natural for you.

I give that advice to everyone. There is no formula... I do things different than others because I do what feels right, and I've never had a bad response once I decided not to hold back.

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Innominate.

Seaver

Well I stick by my formula, it's never failed me. Look for holes in it all you want but I got it from talking to all sorts of women... so say whatever you want...

redarrow, as I said, whatever you're doing you're doing right. She's very interested, if you want her phone number just look her in the eyes and ask if you can call her sometime, I promise you she's dying to give it.

You got it, listen to what she says, girls are constantly amazed by a guy who can listen (and remember). And a tip I have is remember a tiny thing from each date, like the t-shirt she was wearing or her shoes... mension how you liked it a week later. I promise you her jaw will drop.

Good luck man, she's extreamly interested in you.

redarrow

Ah. No luck for me..
I did it last time we saw each other
me: hey can i get your fone number
her: no

havent talked to her since