Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-29-2004, 11:12 AM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
The Friend Zone

OK, here's the deal: I'm interested in dating one of my good friends. Unfortunately, I have fallen into the friend zone, and she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. While I respect her opinion, naturally I want to change it. The thing with her is that in the past, we'd fooled around and she always regretted not taking it further (i.e. sex). Any suggestions on how to bring this friendship to a further level?
__________________
-Slauncha
Slauncha Man is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 11:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
depends on how long you've been friends first
dendron is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 12:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
Wait... in the past you fooled around and she regretted not having sex? Was that then, or does she regret it now?

I was in a situation like this. Had a crush on a friend but I didn't say anything. About a year and a half after we started hanging out he told me that he had a crush on me as well. But this was after the fact and we were well into the friend zone. I'm glad that nothing really ever happend. I've known this guy since we were both in diapers, and his family and my family are friends. It just would have been weird.
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Averett is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 12:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Indiana
Get her drunk!
cas305 is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 01:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
Rawr!
 
skier's Avatar
 
Location: Edmontania
If you would risk the friendship for dating, you gotta stop treating her like a friend, and tell her that as well. You have too much rapport right now. You have to "break" the friend connection to get her to see you as dating material. Talk to her less about daily life and problems etc.
__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim
skier is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 02:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
TFP Mad Scientist
 
doncalypso's Avatar
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Quote:
Originally posted by Slauncha Man
OK, here's the deal: I'm interested in dating one of my good friends. Unfortunately, I have fallen into the friend zone, and she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. While I respect her opinion, naturally I want to change it. The thing with her is that in the past, we'd fooled around and she always regretted not taking it further (i.e. sex). Any suggestions on how to bring this friendship to a further level?
If you've already fallen in the friend zone then all hope is lost... she'll never look at you under a romantic light, and you might as well give it up, son.

If I were you and I still was very interested in that woman despite the fact that she's made it clear she's not romantically interested in you, I'd lose contact with her for a few months (or a few years) and then try again after having had enough time away from her so that she doesn't know who you are anymore (assuming you will have grown and changed for the better during that time where you didn't keep much in contact).

But in all honesty, man, I'd recommend you just forget about her and fix your sights on someone else.
__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation
doncalypso is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 06:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Thanks for the advice, everyone. We'll see how it turns out. Getting her drunk wouldn't work too well as I'm 18 and she's 17, and as we're about to leave for college we're going to be apart for a while anyway.
__________________
-Slauncha
Slauncha Man is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 06:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
The Pusher
 
Rlyss's Avatar
 
Location: Edinburgh
Until you mentioned you were going away to college I was going to say...

Don't date within your friendship group.

I've made that mistake before. Actually, I'm sort of in that situation right at this moment. I asked out a friend, and she is friends with almost all of my friends. Whenever we have problems or friction in our relationship it affects everybody else. You can't come to your friends for advice because she's going to them for advice too. You can't have a night out with your friends to get over her because she wants to do the same thing. If you guys break up there's going to be a lot of friction and awkwardness between all your friends. Your friends feel stuck in the middle of it all and don't know who they should side with. Of course, they don't want to side with any one friend over another, but when it comes to your friend's breakup, you want to help them. It just doesn't work when both people are your friends.
Rlyss is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 07:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Dorito2, very good point, but luckily, we are the common denominator of two very different friend groups.
__________________
-Slauncha
Slauncha Man is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 08:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
<3 Peetster
 
Location: Peetster's house.
Quote:
Originally posted by cas305
Get her drunk!


Beer.... helping ugly people have sex since ????
__________________
Honey,We're home.
SixEdxMia is offline  
Old 04-29-2004, 08:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul:::
Guest
 
just remember- there's no rush. rushing could bring on a whole lot of things that you aren't ready for or that you may regret later.
 
Old 04-30-2004, 12:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
soaring
 
fallenangel's Avatar
 
Location: near the water
Quote:
Originally posted by doncalypso
If you've already fallen in the friend zone then all hope is lost... she'll never look at you under a romantic light, and you might as well give it up, son.
ehhh, not in all cases, i'm gonna have to disagree, because there are the occasional exceptions where one can move out of the friend zone. It's rare, but don't lose all hope.

And getting her drunk, isn't the answer. I've had female friends of mine who got drunk and ended up hooking up with the guy they were friends with, now they don't speak. Bad move
__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you
fallenangel is offline  
Old 04-30-2004, 02:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: everywhere else
Now she knows you like her, she might change her mind about the whole thing. Give it time. There's not much you can do.
__________________
titular
Eugeni is offline  
Old 04-30-2004, 02:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
A boy and his dog
 
Schwan's Avatar
 
Location: EU!
People will tell you that you might ultimately spoil your wonderful friendship. But its already gone. You've got feelings for her, and life's to short to sit around and do nothing around. The higher the risk, the higher the payoff. Love is not a rule book. "Friend zones", and all that whotnot has been created by people, and they only exist in your head. So, to sum up, go for it with all you've got.
Schwan is offline  
 

Tags
friend, zone

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:57 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360