The Friend Zone
 

OK, here's the deal: I'm interested in dating one of my good friends. Unfortunately, I have fallen into the friend zone, and she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. While I respect her opinion, naturally I want to change it. The thing with her is that in the past, we'd fooled around and she always regretted not taking it further (i.e. sex). Any suggestions on how to bring this friendship to a further level?

depends on how long you've been friends first

Wait... in the past you fooled around and she regretted not having sex? Was that then, or does she regret it now?

I was in a situation like this. Had a crush on a friend but I didn't say anything. About a year and a half after we started hanging out he told me that he had a crush on me as well. But this was after the fact and we were well into the friend zone. I'm glad that nothing really ever happend. I've known this guy since we were both in diapers, and his family and my family are friends. It just would have been weird.

Get her drunk!

If you would risk the friendship for dating, you gotta stop treating her like a friend, and tell her that as well. You have too much rapport right now. You have to "break" the friend connection to get her to see you as dating material. Talk to her less about daily life and problems etc.

If you've already fallen in the friend zone then all hope is lost... she'll never look at you under a romantic light, and you might as well give it up, son.

If I were you and I still was very interested in that woman despite the fact that she's made it clear she's not romantically interested in you, I'd lose contact with her for a few months (or a few years) and then try again after having had enough time away from her so that she doesn't know who you are anymore (assuming you will have grown and changed for the better during that time where you didn't keep much in contact).

But in all honesty, man, I'd recommend you just forget about her and fix your sights on someone else.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. We'll see how it turns out. Getting her drunk wouldn't work too well as I'm 18 and she's 17, and as we're about to leave for college we're going to be apart for a while anyway.

Until you mentioned you were going away to college I was going to say...

Don't date within your friendship group.

I've made that mistake before. Actually, I'm sort of in that situation right at this moment. I asked out a friend, and she is friends with almost all of my friends. Whenever we have problems or friction in our relationship it affects everybody else. You can't come to your friends for advice because she's going to them for advice too. You can't have a night out with your friends to get over her because she wants to do the same thing. If you guys break up there's going to be a lot of friction and awkwardness between all your friends. Your friends feel stuck in the middle of it all and don't know who they should side with. Of course, they don't want to side with any one friend over another, but when it comes to your friend's breakup, you want to help them. It just doesn't work when both people are your friends.

Dorito2, very good point, but luckily, we are the common denominator of two very different friend groups.

Beer.... helping ugly people have sex since ????

just remember- there's no rush. rushing could bring on a whole lot of things that you aren't ready for or that you may regret later.

ehhh, not in all cases, i'm gonna have to disagree, because there are the occasional exceptions where one can move out of the friend zone. It's rare, but don't lose all hope.

And getting her drunk, isn't the answer. I've had female friends of mine who got drunk and ended up hooking up with the guy they were friends with, now they don't speak. Bad move

Now she knows you like her, she might change her mind about the whole thing. Give it time. There's not much you can do.

People will tell you that you might ultimately spoil your wonderful friendship. But its already gone. You've got feelings for her, and life's to short to sit around and do nothing around. The higher the risk, the higher the payoff. Love is not a rule book. "Friend zones", and all that whotnot has been created by people, and they only exist in your head. So, to sum up, go for it with all you've got.