balderdash111

Thought this might be entertaining....

Of course, nobody actually listens to dialog in a porno.

However, sometimes the actors blurt out things during the sex scenes that make you laugh out loud.

Case in point: The Chameleon, a movie which is at least 15 years old.

I don't know the actresses' names and doubt you would care. Suffice to say that there is a brunette who is "The Chameleon" - she can change herself to look like any other woman. Not surprisingly, she uses this ability to seduce men. Sexuality ensues.

This particular scene does not involve that ability, however.

In this scene, The Chameleon is having dinner, when she sees a couple walk off into a hallway. The woman is a big-haired blonde (the man is Peter North, I think). The Chameleon of course instantly concludes that they are going to have sex, and she decides to investigate.

She goes back to the hallway and opens the first door she comes across and, of course, finds the couple in flagrante delicto. Specifically, the blonde is giving the guy a blowjob. The Chameleon asks if she can join in and the couple agrees.

The Chameleon walks into the room and the blonde is instantly relegated to "supporting status" as the Chameleon takes over the hummer. For the rest of the scene, the Chameleon is the center of attention, and the blonde is desperately seeking something to do.

She goes from rubbing her boobs and moaning badly while watching The Chameleon blow the guy, to lying back on a couch while the Chameleon goes doggy style with the guy (they tried kissing and sucking nipples, but the Chameleon was moving around too much, so she wound up just sort of lying there).

Finally, the guy is sitting on the couch with the Chameleon bouncing around on his cock. Her back is to the man, and the blonde still has nothing to do. She tries to lick the Chameleon's nipples, but they're bouncing all over the place and the blonde just keeps on getting smacked in the nose. She briefly goes down on the Chameleon, but I think quickly realizes that her head blocks all the action from the camera, so she backs off.

Eventually, she resigns herself to sitting back on her knees, rubbing the Chameleon's legs and moaning like an idiot.

Then, like a shining stinkbomb, comes The Line.

Out of nowhere, the blonde blurts out "I'm gonna piss all over you bitch!"

Huh?

Where the hell did that come from?

The Chameleon, still riding the guy's cock, tries to take it in stride.

She says "Oh yeah? Well why don't you?"

To which the blonde rather lamely says "I'm gonna."

And they leave it at that.

To this day, my wife and I will sometimes blurt out "I'm gonna piss all over you bitch," just for a laugh.

hannukah harry

my favorite line is from "a tale of two titties". the basic plot is that some janitors from a movie studio are sent by the bigwigs to clean the studio's cottage in the woods. so they get the big idea to call up some girls that have turned in head shots to the studio, and bring them there under the guise of "you give us sex, we help your career." so anyways, this one dude is in the gazeebo with a girl, and she's unzipping him. he says...

"in this town, it's not who you know, it's who you blow."

blowarity ensues.

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Redlemon

I posted this before in a semi-related thread (funny porn), so I'll copy it in here.

From "Bimbo Cheerleaders from Outer Space" (which was supposed to be funny, and actually was):

(long pause)
Guy: Um, aren't you supposed to say something here?
Girl: I don't think so, let me check.
(girl reaches off camera, grabs script and reading glasses)
(pause as she reads)
Girl: No, I guess we just fuck.
(girl takes off glasses, puts down script, sex begins)

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gar1976

Movie: Candy Stripers.
Scene: Lady oral pleasing man in broom closet.
What happens: Her supervisor knocks on door and asks her a question. She responds with mumbling.
Supervisor says: Don't speak with your mouth full!

JStrider

in the second scene of 18 and confused (really crummy porno) but the guy is getting a bj... and the girl is gagging herself like crazy on his penis... and he says "Now thats what i call a ranchero breakfast" with a hick accent... its funny as hell...

not to mention the music in that scene... its just hilarious...

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~Clatto Verata Nicto

skier

18 and confused... horrible movie.

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