yotta

First off, let me preface this by saying that I've only ever been in one other serious relationship, so my experiance with this sort of thing is minimal....

So, first off... Background...

Some of my friends (one male, one female) and I attend and anime club at a local university. A few weeks ago, we were chatting during intermission, and somehow another girl who I'll call 'Jane' (not her real name) somehow got involved in the conversation. As the club was breaking up, I mentioned that I hadn't had dinner, and invided my friends and 'Jane' to join me at a nearby casual resterant. We all had a pretty good time there, and after we finished our food we parted to head home.

Then, two weeks ago, it was anounce that because of finals and spring break, anime club was on hiatus for a few weeks. So I mentioned to 'Jane' and my friends that I had access to an LCD projector and laptop that we could use to watch anime on the wall of someone's house, but we wouldn't be able to do it at my house. 'Jane' said she'd like to have people over to her house, and said she'd ask her roomates, and gave me her email address and AIM screen name.

So, the next saturday, we were over at her place, watching anime, and generaly having a good time. 'Jane' was sitting on one side of a couch, one of my male friends on the other, with a space in between, and I was on a bean bag chair. Somehow, I decied to go sit next to 'Jane', and as the night went on, we got closer and closer. After a while, she curled up on a blanket, and I leaned over on to her, and started rubbing her foot. I looked over at her and smiled, and she smiled back. After a while, she sat back up, and took her hands out from under the blanket. A quick guesture to her later, and we were holding hands. Eventualy, my friends had to leave, and I wasn't quite ready to go, and we were both tired, so... I took her in my arms, sher wrapped her arms around me, and I leaned back leaving us wrapped around each other on the couch, in a rather comfotable position, with our eyes closed, and our heads next to each other. I asked her if she wanted to kiss, but she didn't . We remaind in that position for some time, half asleep... Eventualy, I had to go home as well...



So. Now what do I do? You guys think she likes me? Should I ask her on a date (this would be a little troublesome, neither of us have cars, however it's a smallish town.)? I need some suguestion, people.

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WarWagon

Sounds as though she likes you, and you should definitely ask her on a date. She may not like to rush things, therefore declining the kiss.

Rodney

Some women like to cuddle, but they don't necessarily want it to go any farther; and while they wouldn't want to cuddle if they didn't like you, it doesn't mean they LIKE you.

However, the only thing to do is to ask. Just be upfront and ask if she wants to go out with you; and be specific about what you want to do. And if she says no, be friendly and in control about it and say no more, except maybe to compliment her ("can't blame a guy for being interested in someone like you". You'll earn points in her eyes for acting like you're in charge of your own emotions (commonly known as "being a man," though that's not necessarily true), and she may reconsider at some point.

Skettios

yotta.

Yes, she likes you. Good job.

Make your next move swift and confident. Don't leave any room for insecurity on your part or hers. I don't know about a date, it seems like what you have been doing has been working. Maybe invite her over to your place, clean it up first, and see if you can make out with her or something. If she says no, ask her why not... Don't roll over to please her... don't put her on a pedestal... Remember, if she doesn't like you like that, then you don't have anything to lose anyway, you've already gotten as far as she's going to let you. I hope for your sake, you're not friends-listed.

Anyway, that's my advice. Good luck and let us know what happens.

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Ace_O_Spades

I dont know about other people here... but i've never straight up asked another girl if i could kiss her... Maybe thats just me.

To me it sounds like she likes you, the next few meetings are crucial... if you don't show some interest you're going to slip into the friend zone... and unless you want to be there, which is perfectly fine, you should make a move.

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Feh.

agball

I'm with Ace, I never asked & do think she likes you. She might just want to take it slow. Take her out.

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2kids1headache

I don't think many girls are going to tell you that yes, they want to be kissed. That makes them seem eager at best, slutty at worst.

I do think that she's interested, so definitely call her up and invite her over. This time, instead of asking, start off with a small kiss somewhere, like on the back of her hand. If things go well, kiss the back of her neck. If things are still good, you can either go direct for the lips or you can stop by her palm first before moving on. Just don't ask. You seem like such a n00b then. Few people want to feel like they have to train their partner, so keep a stiff upper lip and act like you know what you're doing.

Good luck, and let us know how things pan out.

Shades

Oh man, I initially thought this was a joke, meeting a girl at an anime club! You sure got me!

Just kidding, I've been going to my university's club for about 5 years now. And made a website in the dim past. And review anime DVDs for DVD Town. But I digress.

Besides the advice that people here have given, I don't have a whole lot to add. Ask her out straight up. Say this exactly: "Jane-chan (or Janeko), let's go on a date and watch 'Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi', which totally rules." Alternatively, you could go ice skating. I've done that once for date, and it went really well. A few of my friends have tried that and reported good results as well.

Seaver

I consider myself an extream gentileman, so dont take this the wrong way...


but NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER ask for a kiss.

1) It makes you seem indecisive and she thinks you lack self confidence. Any girl will tell you, confidence is the sexiest thing imaginable.

2) It's simply not romantic. Now you may say it's about treating her equally and all that whatnot... but women dont think that way. She told you through her dozens of actions that she wanted to kiss you. She let you sit closer, she moved closer, yall cuddled, you locked eyes, she didnt want you to leave after your friend did.... get my point? Be a man, look her in the eyes, pull her close and kiss her.

3) Women want to be swept away, not pulled. Now let me explain, she wants you to pull her close and kiss her passionately, not ask her. She doesnt want to think about what she's doing, she doesnt want to think about how you just met one day before, she doesnt want to think about how her best friend called her a slut the week before, she doesnt want to.... get my point?

Hell if worse comes to worse and she didnt want to kiss you still got a kiss. If you were to ask its 100% guarantee you wouldnt have gotten anything anyways. Girls make up their mind LONG in advance who they're going to cuddle/kiss, she was 99% yes until you asked. Dont feel bad, dont feel sorry, just dont do it again... hell I used to make the same mistakes..

Zegel

I completely agree with Seaver about the kiss. You dont have to ask. Look into her eyes and you will find the answer there, plain as day.

yotta

Heh, I supose you guys are right, asking for a kiss was a silly thing to do. I'll ask her for a date as soon as she returns form spring break (in san fransisco with family), and post back here how it goes.

I'll probably end up taking her to dinner (There's a good japanese resterant near her place), or possibly for a picnic at the arboretum (surrounds a creek, there are duck there, which we could feed. Women like animals, right?).

Then there's the $40 worth of movie theatre gift certificates that my boss gave me for christmas, that I have yet to use because I don't like seeing movies alone.

Couple of the suguestions while good, won't work. Both of us lack cars (good bus system in town, though), she has a roommate, I live with my mom, and am not having her over to my place because even if we were alone, my damned little brother always manages to make a mess of the house. My room, however, is mostly clean, and features a computer with a 21 inch monitor and a DVD drive, so that may be an option, but i'm not sure if I should go there yet.

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Seaver

Dont take her to the movies for a date until your 7th or so at earliest. For one you can not talk, or get to know each other. Two it's just... cliche.

Picknic is a great plan. I do it all the time as the first or second date. Go to the mall together, tell her you lack all sense of style and ask her to pick out some cloths for you. This gives you lots of time to talk, and allows her to make you more into what she looks for.

Go for it man, she was interested then, and most likely will be again as long as you keep it light.

yotta

So, she finaly got back in town, and we ended up going to lunch. However, when we went to lunch she explained to me that she was getting over some self-esteme problems (thinking that people were only being nice to her because they want something, or becasue they felt sorry for her) and she didn't really feel comfortable getting into a relationship, though she made it clear that she would probably be open to the idea once she got her emotianl ducks in a row. I'm not entirely sure what to do. I'm thinking it'd be good to tell her I think she's worth waiting for, and ask her to let me know when she's ready.

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analog

Bingo.

"Well, I'll tell you what. I would love to get to know you better, because I think you're really great. If you'd like to hold off, I understand."

...and fill in the rest. Don't become "the good guy friend" who helps her through her hard times... because then you get dismissed as "too good a friend" to date.

Captain Canada

Follow analog's advice. Definately. Tell her that you really want to get to know her better and that if she wants to hold off on having a relationship that you're totally cool with that. As analog said, you dont want to get put into the "too good of a friend to date" group. I've had that happen a lot, and....it kinda sucks.

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