sal_alvarado85

I was just wanting some advice, I have liked this girl for a long a while now but I have never acted on my feelings because we have a big age difference. She is 5 years older than me, even with the age difference I feel that we are on pretty much the same level, as i like to think of myself mature for my age. Well me and her talk almost everyday and most of the time she is the one who calls me, but i still am not sure of her feelings. At times i just want my feelings for her to go away but i cannot. We hang out alot but never really talked about anything close to a relationship. I fear that I have gone into the gray area in which i just am the guy friend she can trust. Any advice in either how to make my feelings go away or whether i should act upon my feelings and just go for it?

Bobaphat

What kind of age difference are we talking about here? there's a huge difference between 18 and 23 and 40 and 45.

__________________
--size matters not-- yoda

sal_alvarado85

right now i'm 19 and she's 23

Manic_Skafe

If you two can connect and make it all work then go for it.

A relationship is what you make of it - don't worry about the age difference if there's something there.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

tecoyah

That is not even a significant age difference.....forget about the ages, and just act.

__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

sillygirl

If you feel that strongly about her, what are you afraid of?

__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

absorbentishe

As long as she's not married, there is no issue with age differences. Take a chance, you'll never know what you would have had unless you do it.

doncalypso

I dunno how things work in your culture, but back home in Haiti women are terribly prejudiced against younger men. If that's anything like where I'm from then she probably considers you only as a friend and wouldn't consider dating you.

However, if she can look past your age and see you and a person independent of your chronological age then I'd say she may be interested. Nevertheless it is better to err on the side of caution and assume she's not interested rather than let your feelings be known and get shot down with the whole "I like you more as a friend" bullshit women feed us when they turn us down but want to keep us around as a shoulder to cry on.

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

Nitrox

I met my wife when she was 23 and I was 34. 6 years later were motoring along fine. However, the one thing I have going for me is that once the biological clock started dinging with my wife, my "wild years" were well behind me. That is the only potential downside I would see for you.

2kids1headache

Listen to Nitrox. Especially the part about the tick, tick, ticking of the biological clock. Every (EVERY!!!) woman hears its call and has to decide whether to act on it. Does this woman have kids already? Do you know if she wants kids? Do you want kids? Do you want kids NOW, if she presses the matter? If she decides to stop partying/drinking/playing PlayStation/etc. in the next year and wants you to stop, too, will you be ready?

I feel that age and the current stage of a person's life are two very different things. Age means little. Your respective life stages mean everything.

rufgti

hm, age is should never really be an issue. My gf is 6 years younger than me and my ex-wife was 5 years younger--no major issues related to age, though.

Go for it if it is something you want.

__________________
Sometimes, you gotta say no to a stripper....

micah67

5 years is nothing. Don't even make it an issue.

__________________
~micah

Eugeni

Totally agree.

Her feelings for you, don't worry. I say, go for it. I don't really like all the what-if stuff. You know what I mean?

Just try. If you get the just-friends answer, you know you have to move on. That's it.

__________________
titular

Lebell

Five years is nothing.

After you hit 21 you won't notice any practical differences.

If you two really have something, go for it!

__________________
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU!

Please Donate!

mirevolver

Go for it, I'm dating a girl that's three years older than me. Did I have some apprehensions? Yes. Do I have any regrets about asking her out anyway? No.

__________________
Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

txlovely

I agree - what do you have to lose? If she doesn't have a problem with your age, which she doesn't seem to...

Plus, biological clocks don't start really ticking until women reach 35.

__________________
Cruel words erode self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

Rodney

18 and 23? As others have said, if you both seem to be on the same wavelength, the age difference is meaningless. On the average, the difference between 18 and 23 is a lot less than, say, 15 and 18. A five-year difference just gets less and less significant as you get older. After age 25, it's pretty much meaningless.