Need Advice - Long Distance Relationships - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

forseti-6 · 03-21-2004, 12:32 PM

Ok so in a few months, I head to Fort Benning Georgia to begin my Army training. I'll be at basic training for 9 weeks, 14 weeks for OCS, 21 weeks of Infantry OBC, 3 weeks for Airborne, and 6 weeks for Ranger. Now that totals over a year I'll be in training. I recently just entered a very good relationship, and I'm trying to think of ways to make it work out. Through basic training I mostly likely will only have scant access to a telephone or internet. OCS will be the same. OBC I'll be able to call and write often. Airborne and Ranger I won't have any access to phones or internet probably.

So is my relationship doomed? We both really like each other - frankly we haven't known each other and been together long enough to use the "L" word. I know she also wants a career, and being a potential army spouse might not be appealing to her. So I'm wondering what my options really could be. Do I just say, "I'd like our relationship to continue, but in the next year or so it's going to be rough. If we can make it out of it together, we'll have smooth sailing. "

I know they say separation makes the heart fonder, but almost a year? I love the Army, and becoming an officer has been a lifelong dream for me. But I feel that this girl is "the one." I need advice!

diddagirl · 03-21-2004, 12:47 PM

I wont lie to you.... its gonna be hard. You will both get frustrated because you cannot be together in person the way you want. Now I dont think your relationship is by any means "doomed". I think because the phone calls and internet chats will be infrequent.... you will have to make them very special and memorable. Make them something to hang onto until the next session. Good luck and hang int there!

2kids1headache · 03-21-2004, 01:35 PM

I don't think that a relationship can make it through a near year of absence. If you're willing to go a year without her and then return to her when it's done, I'd suggest that you go ahead and marry her, now, before you enter training.

If you're not willing to go that far, you can certainly try to keep the relationship going while you're apart for a year.

Good luck, either way.

03-21-2004, 01:40 PM

I'm confused here... you haven't been together long enough to use the "L-word" but you think she's the one? My advice depends on which of these is the most accurate...

If it's the first one, I'm with diddagirl: you can try to tough it out, but it won't be easy at all, and may not be worth it in the long run.

If it's the second one, I'm with 2kids1headache, though maybe not that extreme... marriage may not be necessary, but make the commitment to stick together through this and see what happens

03-21-2004, 12:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
forseti-6 Existentialist Location: New York City	Need Advice - Long Distance Relationships Ok so in a few months, I head to Fort Benning Georgia to begin my Army training. I'll be at basic training for 9 weeks, 14 weeks for OCS, 21 weeks of Infantry OBC, 3 weeks for Airborne, and 6 weeks for Ranger. Now that totals over a year I'll be in training. I recently just entered a very good relationship, and I'm trying to think of ways to make it work out. Through basic training I mostly likely will only have scant access to a telephone or internet. OCS will be the same. OBC I'll be able to call and write often. Airborne and Ranger I won't have any access to phones or internet probably. So is my relationship doomed? We both really like each other - frankly we haven't known each other and been together long enough to use the "L" word. I know she also wants a career, and being a potential army spouse might not be appealing to her. So I'm wondering what my options really could be. Do I just say, "I'd like our relationship to continue, but in the next year or so it's going to be rough. If we can make it out of it together, we'll have smooth sailing. " I know they say separation makes the heart fonder, but almost a year? I love the Army, and becoming an officer has been a lifelong dream for me. But I feel that this girl is "the one." I need advice! __________________ "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss

03-21-2004, 12:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
diddagirl Addict Location: Calgary, AB	I wont lie to you.... its gonna be hard. You will both get frustrated because you cannot be together in person the way you want. Now I dont think your relationship is by any means "doomed". I think because the phone calls and internet chats will be infrequent.... you will have to make them very special and memorable. Make them something to hang onto until the next session. Good luck and hang int there! __________________ "Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done." -Matthew Arnold

03-21-2004, 01:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
2kids1headache Loser	I don't think that a relationship can make it through a near year of absence. If you're willing to go a year without her and then return to her when it's done, I'd suggest that you go ahead and marry her, now, before you enter training. If you're not willing to go that far, you can certainly try to keep the relationship going while you're apart for a year. Good luck, either way.

03-21-2004, 01:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
Untitled Guest	I'm confused here... you haven't been together long enough to use the "L-word" but you think she's the one? My advice depends on which of these is the most accurate... If it's the first one, I'm with diddagirl: you can try to tough it out, but it won't be easy at all, and may not be worth it in the long run. If it's the second one, I'm with 2kids1headache, though maybe not that extreme... marriage may not be necessary, but make the commitment to stick together through this and see what happens