Cuball

why do make girls such a big deal about being single and not finding the right man in there life ?

(I know this 25 yo girl and I kinda feel sorry for her, after she had a few drinks and told me while crying how lonely she felt and that she sometimes can't sleep because of it, and lots of other stuff...)

I'm 23 yo no relationship atm, and I must say I feel lonely from time to time, but I would never let it get so deep in my heart and head that I would start crying and feel sick about it...

is this a girl - boy thing ?or maybe is it an age thing ?

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Averett

Nope, it's not a girl thing. I know a few guys who feel that way as well. It's just a person thing. Some people are content not being in a relationship. Some aren't.

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sexymama

I agree, it is a person thing. The interesting thing to me is that marriage is supposable \ymuch better for men. Married men have less illness and are less stressed then single men. Married woman have more stress and more illness. Go figure! (Okay, in the 1950's this made sense -- but it shouldn't make sense today and I think it is very sad that it does in a lot of cases.)

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RAGEAngel9

Really mama?
I had heard the exact opposite actually.
That being single or at least living together instead of gettign married to great for guys, but worse for women.

ratbastid

Definitely a person thing.

When I was single and not in a relationship it felt like I was doomed and would never be happy again. And then when I'd get into a relationship everything was great. Until it ended.

Cuball

I also think age matters here... single at the age of 26-28 can get frustrating ... but i'm not that "old" yet so I don't make any problem out of it yet :-)

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Plan9Senior

Sometimes people feel even more lonely when they are in a relationship (albeit a bad one).

sexymama

I was curious, so googled this question. The first link tells how marriage MAY be better for men's physical health.
http://www.rand.org/publications/RB/RB5018/

This link talks about marriage being better for woman's mental health.
http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/min.../cohab0104.htm

And this is the one I was refering too -- unhealthy marriage is worse for woman than for men.
http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/badmarriage.html

I guess the truth is, as we all know, we can find research to prove anything these days!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

arch13

The need to be in a relationship that some people exhibit often has little to do with the party in question actually wanting a relationship, and much more to do with issues of co-dependence and lack of self confidence.
Very often in our western society, both sexes are taught from infancy that happiness comes from marriage and relationships. this message is repeatedly delivered to people of all ages in many forms from media to parental teaching, often in subtle form.
This belief is often taken as a mantra by both sexes, who begine to define their self worth by their relationship status.
The fact is that if you cannot be happy with yourself, feel content with yourself, and know yourself as an indivigual, then you never know what it is you want and need from another because you do not yet know yourself.
In a society where both genders are begining puberty and maturation at an earlier age, this has emerged as a character trait the physcological profesion is aware of and studying. Just as children in middle school who are experiancing puberty (6th grade is now the average age of puberty) often begin to form social structures based on sexual and emotional experimentation, and the child who has a "girlfreind" or "boyfreind" (why i use the qoutation marks i hope is obvious) in such a scenario is often looked upon with respect by his or her peers. So to are young men and women defining themselves by their relationship status both as a definition they view themselves with and as the definition of how thier peers view them.

Couple with this that often people do not truly know themselves and are not comfortable with who they are, and often they will fill this viod with a relationship or emotional attachment and you may have the beginings of an explanation to your question.

Hope I've given at least a little of the physcological imperative and motivation as food for thought.

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ally

definitly a person thing... when I was last freshly dumped I was fairly misrable, but I got over it fairly quikly I think, and I wasn't looking for my next realtionship. They always come when least expected.
I've known girls and boys to stay super depressed while single though... it seems to defeat the purpose. No one wants to date someone so depressed.

SpikeQX99

I've been single my whole 25 years of existence, and seldom do I feel so incredibly overwhelmed by "needing" a sig other, but sometimes too, I wonder what it would be like just to have someone like that, who would be there for you and all that stuff, that you could still hang out with, but share ideas and feelings on a more personal level.

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vveronica

Well hmm... So many people with so many ideas in life...
It is not uncommon for women raised with the belief that they go to school and find a man and settle down. Albeit, the same goes for a men.
I love being in relationships, all kinds from deep to shallow, but, I am not the commitment type, not too much the one relationship at a time type either. Sighhh So many men out there... So lil time.... hehehhhehe

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HockeyGuy

Personally I prefer to bb in a relationship but single had many advantages as well (gotta love the 'sharking')! =P
I also must agree definitly a personal thing.. I have friends in the mid 20's who are happy single, and others always talking about when 'the one' will come around...

dragon2fire

very good i agree compeltly



the key of corse is understanding yourself

Bigt6909

i think it's more of a society thing... at 25 a person is supposed to know what they are going to do with their life and they should be seeing someone or married by then... it's a lot of pressure... I know some people's families are like that

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Strange Famous

Ive never cried about being alone, but it makes me sad sometimes.

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for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
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The Gospel of Thomas

:::OshnSoul:::

Women are too picky. Most of them, anyways.
They get a rush out of thinking that the problem is always the man.