Blackthorn

I mentioned the post about "when is it okay to pee on your girlfriend" to a close friend of mine. The story he relayed to me after that was one of the funniest damn "how I met my wife" stories I've ever heard.

Well I guess it wasn't exactly how he met her. It's more of a story about the first time they danced the mattress mombo together. So they have their first night of glorious sex at his place after have a nice dinner out somewhere. They have lots to drink and according to his story the sex was still a very good first encounter. Being that it's late they fall asleep and he's thinking no worries...he's got a good one here!

Fast forward about five hours. He wakes up and realizes that he must have wet the bed and now he's starting to get embarrased. How is he going to get out of this one!? Then... as he really starts to wake up he realizes holy BM's BAT MAN!!! He has actually SHIT the bed... Then...a little further investigation reveals that it wasn't he who had shat the bed but it was HER! And it had apparently happened soon after they had fallen asleep because the duty was EEEEVERY DAMN WHERE!!!

He gets out of bed and thinks for a minute while standing there covered in the big crapola. So he thinks well...what the hell I have to wake her up. I just can't leave her there. So he backs up about five feet then takes a couple of flash steps and just flops into bed and screams whooooooooah what the hell is this??


She wakes up and screams and he screams and well...there you go. A new tradition was born. He claims that every night when he gets into bed he flops in just like that first sexy-crap-covered night. Sort of a real shitter huh?? hahaha...

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numist

Wow, Im not entirely sure what I would have done in that situation...

Good story though... I guess for some people, some things come before others in relationships....

Enka

hahahah now thats a story to tell the grandkids!

wilbjammin

I don't know how to respond to this...

it is so...

wow

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Innominate.

ariekitten

OMFG!!!!! there is just no response i can give to a story like that.....any idea why she had shit the bead?

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illesturban

^ lmfao what I'm sayin'! That is crazy. It must've not been too bad though for him to end up marrying her.

That is just plain... uhh... I'm speechless.

bonehed1

ROFL...that has to be the funniest story I have ever heard. Why in the hell would she pee and crap in the bed anyways. I think I would have run out of the room screaming like a girl if my wife did that and I was covered in shit.

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Stuff is Good

absence_of_color

If I woke up covered in shit, Id probably murder the sicko.

'Nuff said.

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...absent of everything.

SAM821

thats pretty nasty... i would be horrified to wake up covered in shit.... but, to each his own...

shoe

What i want to know is how he explained the story to her lol.

Ace_O_Spades

i think i would have thrown up

how are they still together after all that?!?

better sense of humor than i have

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Feh.

Averett

How has nobody said this yet?


Shit Happens

But wow... what a story!

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

sillygirl

Um. I don't know what I would do... and hopefully *crosses fingers* I'll never have to deal with something like that... ever.....

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Blackthorn

Well she is most definitely embarrased as all hell by the story. But they do laugh about it as evidenced by her going right along with the whole thing and even adding her own little details. She has no idea why she let lose with it that night. She did crack a joke about Martin f-ing the crap out of her though...

Is it any surprise that the party generally follows these two? The should be professional wedding attenders. They always have a good time. In this case I guess it was a real crapper of a time though!

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diddagirl

What the fuck??? Who shits in the bed after sex??

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PDOUBLEOP

A friend of mine pissed the bed on a nearly-first date. When he realized what he did, he woke the girl up and told her she did it. She believed him. He actually teased her about it for months.

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ef you-you effing ef

eribrav

I can not stop laughing out loud at this one.

How in the world did they actually end up married? If I was the shitter I would have been mortified to have that person ever see me again. If I was the non-shitter I would be so grossed out I would refuse to see her again. Either way, guess I would have lost out!

ally

thats absolutly fabulous.... imagine, if he had been less of a man she would have been extremly embarrassed for life!!!

NetterButter

me: "honey, isn't that cuuuute?"

my husband:"NO, THATS FUCKIN DISGUSTING."

our friend: 'gives me a weird look.'

hahahaha

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slimshaydee

i call bullshiat on this story

Blackthorn

Their names are Matin and Kathy. They live in London. Give me a call sometime. We'll have lunch!

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What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

wry1

Here's one for you....it's how my friend Jim met his wife, Aimee.....

Jim and I were best friends from High School, and went to the same college together. We didn't room together (wanted to remain friends), but hung out all the time.

So one weekend we went to an off-campus party, and as we're making the rounds mingling, my buddy Jim spots this girl across the room. He turns to me, a look of urgency on his face, and tells me that he's "got to meet that girl!"

With that, he begins snaking his way through the crowd like Bruce Lee through an army of opponents - nobody can touch him! I follow along as my less-desperate pace will allow, and arrive in time to hear his introduction.

"Hi. I'm Jim. Would you like to come back to my place and sit on my face?"

Instead of getting slapped, the (still mystery) girl looks him up and down and says "In a little bit, sure."

I called it right then and there. I told him, "you're going to wind up married to this girl."

Sure enough. they've been married for going on 8 years now.

majik_6

Those two stories were incredible!

The first was, um, interesting. I definitely wouldn't have been able to stay with her after that...wow...

The second, that's absolutely great! I had a friend that dated a girl after a situation like that: she was driving down the road, he was with some friends in a parking lot. As she drove by, he screamed "Hey, want some dick?" She pulled a u-turn and parked right next to him. From what I've heard, they did things that would make a sailor blush. They didn't stay together long, but he still tells the story of his "ever-so-smooth" line, and apparently all her friends still call her Rugburn (one of the aforementioned "things that would make a sailor blush").

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