Another post about a girl :P - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jaron · 12-20-2003, 12:36 PM

A few months ago, I posted right here in Tilted Sexuality (well... not quite, but it was moved here, appropriately enough) about a girl I was seeing at the time. I was having problems in the relationship, and pretty much decided that I was going to (as I put it, then) "ditch the bitch" and move on to someone else who was less demanding.

I'm still seeing her, now, and we just celebrated our eight month anniversary (which, for me, is a real milestone - at least twice the length of any other relationship that I've had).

See, the things I like about this girl...

It's not that she's hot or anything, it's that I really and honestly think of her as MY most beautiful. Sure, I'll spring a boner at porn and all that, but hey... we actually have great talks about that sorta' stuff.

It's not that she's particularly nice, 'cause she can be a MASSIVE bitch alot of the time when she's going through problems in life. But hey, she's seriously fucking awesome by me, and the thing is that I really don't mind her bad days 'cause... well, God had better know why, 'cause I don't. But I just don't, even when she's giving me hell, 'cause hey... it's alright.

It's not that she's a wonderful person, really, but she's fucking amazing to me. She's the best I can do, 'cause she's the coolest girl I've ever met and the best that I've ever met or dreamt of for me.

She's a keeper.

The things she's taught me, as well, about love? It's a choice, really, as well as a feeling. I've chosen to commit myself to her, and I've kept that committment for the last eight months since we first got together. Even when I was doubting our relationship, and "broke up" with her twice (first time only really in theory, second time in practice but back together a week after), I didn't go to anyone else because I've never wanted anyone else like I want her.

I don't mean her body, either, although the sex is fucking awesome. (She rides horses, and the motion trains the vaginal muscles, and then they can just... squeeze... oh-so-tightly... mmm...) It's just... her.

Hell, even the tough shit we went through in the past? That's worth it as well, because it's taught us both fuckloads of lessons and brought us closer together.

I do believe that I'm in love.

Wait, no.

I KNOW that I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me.

For the first time in... well, ever, I've been happy. For the last few months, really.

It's incredible.

sillygirl · 12-20-2003, 02:57 PM

Congratulations... and good luck!

vonstalhein · 12-20-2003, 04:10 PM

Hehehe, thats great man. I gotta go get me a mare.

diddagirl · 12-20-2003, 10:28 PM

congrats.....its an incredible feeling, isnt it?

Sleepyjack · 12-21-2003, 12:15 AM

this gave me goosebumps

good stuff

Jaron · 12-21-2003, 06:07 AM

Sorta' funny, that another thing occurred to me to say here now, after the main post.

My dad was talking to my old coworker at the charity I used to work at (and am still trying to recover from, financially - God, but I hate charities now). The coworker is this Portugese guy named Paulo, who took over from me. (He's now the manager of the Computer Processing department, which means that he organizes computers to be built and sent off to random third world countries.)

Anyways, Paulo (the new manager) talked to my dad, asking him what he thought of my girl and myself, and you know what my dad said in response?

"Oh, he's just working on his marriage."

I found that absolutely hilarious at the time, and it quickly became a running joke between my girlfriend and I.

However, within the last few month or so, I've realized that he's right. I AM working on my marriage, strange as that may seem (both to me and to those who know me). I plan on spending my life with this girl, and she's planning on the same. It's not that I can imagine life without her, it's that I CAN imagine life without her, and god damn it... sure I would be fine, but I wouldn't be happy, and neither would she.

The other thing that I realized is that, for the first time, my parents' opinion about this really matters. They approve of it, they approve of her as my girlfriend, and my dad's said that he will (when the time comes) approve of her as my wife.

The third thing I realized?

This relationship really matters, because... well, because I'm head over fucking heels in love with her. I don't feel "silly" or "stupid" when I profess my love for her in front of friends, acquaintances, or internet message boards. I feel sorta'... proud, 'cause it's HER that I'm in love with, even while I'm standing there telling someone that I love her and start crying. (So much for being a "tough guy," eh?)

Jeebuz Christ... and I'm not even a wreck.

And I'm actually really, truly happy.

Guys... you need to find someone who you can rave about, like this.

SVT01Cobra · 12-21-2003, 07:24 PM

There is no such thing as love.

sillygirl · 12-21-2003, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SVT01Cobra
There is no such thing as love.

That's a very sad point of view.... this sounds like love to me.

Every girl deserves a guy who honestly thinks this way about her, and every guy deserves a girl to love him this much back!

Jaron · 12-21-2003, 07:59 PM

SVT01Cobra,

I must admit that until a few months into this relationship I thought the same. It wasn't that I was particularly jaded about the concept itself, it was just that the concept of a higher emotion like "love" didn't make any sense. And hey, I'll be the first to admit that "love" still doesn't make any sense to me, and probably shouldn't make any sense to anyone, but after this experience and during this experience (even if it doesn't last) I know that I won't be able to deny the existance of love to anyone ever again.

I don't particularly feel sorry for you or anything like that for your point of view, nor do I particularly hope that you'll have a mind blowing experience like I have that will change your mind. It's really up to you, whether you accept it or not if something DOES happen to you, and for that, I sincerely hope that you do.

sillygirl,

I don't deserve her by any means, but thank you. I'm just glad that I've got her, now that I do, and that she's been willing to (and glad to) make it past the stupid mistakes that I've made with her and keep the relationship good, open, honest, intimate, and generally amazingly healthy. Basically, I'm just glad that she chose to stay with me no matter how much of an asshole I was to her, not telling her things that'd been happening and being an asshole about it when I did.

If I deserve this, then... well, no. Fuck that.

I'm listening to Ben Folds' "The Luckiest," and I'd have to say, I'm exactly that. Not deserving. Just amazingly lucky.

(The song makes me think of her. We listen to it, and sometimes I really can't help crying a little. I can NEVER stop from smiling while listening to it.)

SVT01Cobra · 12-21-2003, 08:08 PM

Well, love is a word.... the attraction is created from your hormones, not your heart.

Your attraction to someone, the things you look for in him/her, are all molded into your brain from birth. When you see someone who matches some these qualities, your brain realizes it, resulting in attraction.

sillygirl, the problem is, I havent seen very many girls who are that genuine.

sillygirl · 12-21-2003, 08:13 PM

Yes, love is just a word. I agree. But the feeling that the word describes (although I think that the English language isn't expressive enough to convey the true feeling) is far beyond what most of us (I think all of us) can really truly comprehend. Ever heard the song More Than Words? I think that it pretty much sums up what I'm saying.

I think that the word "love" is used too loosely these days. I mean, someone can say in the same breath "I love cars" and "I love my girlfriend" and hopefully *fingers crossed* they mean different things.

SVT01Cobra · 12-21-2003, 08:18 PM

Well, if you're that genuine, I hope you find a guy that can truly love you as much as you deserve to be.

sillygirl · 12-21-2003, 08:43 PM

Awww, thanks!

I think I have.

denim · 12-21-2003, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SVT01Cobra
Well, love is a word.... the attraction is created from your hormones, not your heart.

I'm just curious. Did you argue this because you felt like arguing, or because you really don't believe that hormones and intellect can agree?

SVT01Cobra · 12-21-2003, 10:07 PM

Love is simply your hormones reacting to different circumstances.

That doesnt mean I'm a cold person. I'm a very warm, and really nice guy. I know how women deserve to be treated. It's just that sometimes I don't get the same in return.

From a scientific standpoint love is a chemical balance, same with depression, and many other things.

I'm young, so who knows. I might find someone I genuinely love, but it's only going to be someone who loves me back.

NeoSparky · 12-21-2003, 10:13 PM

Seeing posts like this make me think that in the end it is all worthwhile..

sillygirl · 12-21-2003, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SVT01Cobra
I'm young, so who knows. I might find someone I genuinely love, but it's only going to be someone who loves me back.

Careful... that's not always true. I married a guy I loved, and who professed to love me back.... turns out he was lying.....

But hey~ I'm with someone now who loves me. And I return it... so I guess I kissed enough toads, eh?

SVT01Cobra · 12-21-2003, 10:27 PM

That's exactly why I'm hesitant to get in a relationship!

I personally would NEVER do anything like that to a girl, no one should ever have to go through that kind of pain.

dumbnutofak · 12-22-2003, 12:49 AM

I know being lied to sucks, I know lieing sucks. But I also know that if you are waiting for the "perfect one" Then you are missing out....It's like if you don't "test the water" then you will never find what you are looking for because you will never had a up and down.... one of my ex's wrote this to me when I was ranting about how EVERY girl I date ends up leaving the state....

i know and you know that there is one special girl out there, and you never know she could be right in front of your face and your just not noticing her, i mean it could be anyone of the girls you know and hang out with

So yea, Back to the subject.... Congrats Man, Your right I do need to find me a girl like that.

SVT01Cobra · 12-22-2003, 02:24 PM

Naw, I go out on dates and stuff, but that's about it.

I don't like to get in long term relationships is all.

sillygirl · 12-22-2003, 04:15 PM

If you are never willing to get into a longterm relationship, how will you know when you find THAT GIRL? Pain is bad, getting hurt is bad, but finding someone you can truly love and who truly loves you is worth it all.

denim · 12-22-2003, 04:21 PM

Sillygirl's got it: if you don't play, you can't win.

12-20-2003, 12:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jaron Crazy Location: Hong Kong.	Another post about a girl :P A few months ago, I posted right here in Tilted Sexuality (well... not quite, but it was moved here, appropriately enough) about a girl I was seeing at the time. I was having problems in the relationship, and pretty much decided that I was going to (as I put it, then) "ditch the bitch" and move on to someone else who was less demanding. I'm still seeing her, now, and we just celebrated our eight month anniversary (which, for me, is a real milestone - at least twice the length of any other relationship that I've had). See, the things I like about this girl... It's not that she's hot or anything, it's that I really and honestly think of her as MY most beautiful. Sure, I'll spring a boner at porn and all that, but hey... we actually have great talks about that sorta' stuff. It's not that she's particularly nice, 'cause she can be a MASSIVE bitch alot of the time when she's going through problems in life. But hey, she's seriously fucking awesome by me, and the thing is that I really don't mind her bad days 'cause... well, God had better know why, 'cause I don't. But I just don't, even when she's giving me hell, 'cause hey... it's alright. It's not that she's a wonderful person, really, but she's fucking amazing to me. She's the best I can do, 'cause she's the coolest girl I've ever met and the best that I've ever met or dreamt of for me. She's a keeper. The things she's taught me, as well, about love? It's a choice, really, as well as a feeling. I've chosen to commit myself to her, and I've kept that committment for the last eight months since we first got together. Even when I was doubting our relationship, and "broke up" with her twice (first time only really in theory, second time in practice but back together a week after), I didn't go to anyone else because I've never wanted anyone else like I want her. I don't mean her body, either, although the sex is fucking awesome. (She rides horses, and the motion trains the vaginal muscles, and then they can just... squeeze... oh-so-tightly... mmm...) It's just... her. Hell, even the tough shit we went through in the past? That's worth it as well, because it's taught us both fuckloads of lessons and brought us closer together. I do believe that I'm in love. Wait, no. I KNOW that I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me. For the first time in... well, ever, I've been happy. For the last few months, really. It's incredible.

12-20-2003, 02:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Congratulations... and good luck! __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

12-20-2003, 04:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	Hehehe, thats great man. I gotta go get me a mare. __________________ No Win No Fee

12-20-2003, 10:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
diddagirl Addict Location: Calgary, AB	congrats.....its an incredible feeling, isnt it? __________________ "Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done." -Matthew Arnold

12-21-2003, 07:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
Jaron Crazy Location: Hong Kong.	SVT01Cobra, I must admit that until a few months into this relationship I thought the same. It wasn't that I was particularly jaded about the concept itself, it was just that the concept of a higher emotion like "love" didn't make any sense. And hey, I'll be the first to admit that "love" still doesn't make any sense to me, and probably shouldn't make any sense to anyone, but after this experience and during this experience (even if it doesn't last) I know that I won't be able to deny the existance of love to anyone ever again. I don't particularly feel sorry for you or anything like that for your point of view, nor do I particularly hope that you'll have a mind blowing experience like I have that will change your mind. It's really up to you, whether you accept it or not if something DOES happen to you, and for that, I sincerely hope that you do. sillygirl, I don't deserve her by any means, but thank you. I'm just glad that I've got her, now that I do, and that she's been willing to (and glad to) make it past the stupid mistakes that I've made with her and keep the relationship good, open, honest, intimate, and generally amazingly healthy. Basically, I'm just glad that she chose to stay with me no matter how much of an asshole I was to her, not telling her things that'd been happening and being an asshole about it when I did. If I deserve this, then... well, no. Fuck that. I'm listening to Ben Folds' "The Luckiest," and I'd have to say, I'm exactly that. Not deserving. Just amazingly lucky. (The song makes me think of her. We listen to it, and sometimes I really can't help crying a little. I can NEVER stop from smiling while listening to it.) Last edited by Jaron; 12-21-2003 at 08:04 PM..

12-21-2003, 12:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	this gave me goosebumps good stuff

12-21-2003, 06:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
Jaron Crazy Location: Hong Kong.	Sorta' funny, that another thing occurred to me to say here now, after the main post. My dad was talking to my old coworker at the charity I used to work at (and am still trying to recover from, financially - God, but I hate charities now). The coworker is this Portugese guy named Paulo, who took over from me. (He's now the manager of the Computer Processing department, which means that he organizes computers to be built and sent off to random third world countries.) Anyways, Paulo (the new manager) talked to my dad, asking him what he thought of my girl and myself, and you know what my dad said in response? "Oh, he's just working on his marriage." I found that absolutely hilarious at the time, and it quickly became a running joke between my girlfriend and I. However, within the last few month or so, I've realized that he's right. I AM working on my marriage, strange as that may seem (both to me and to those who know me). I plan on spending my life with this girl, and she's planning on the same. It's not that I can imagine life without her, it's that I CAN imagine life without her, and god damn it... sure I would be fine, but I wouldn't be happy, and neither would she. The other thing that I realized is that, for the first time, my parents' opinion about this really matters. They approve of it, they approve of her as my girlfriend, and my dad's said that he will (when the time comes) approve of her as my wife. The third thing I realized? This relationship really matters, because... well, because I'm head over fucking heels in love with her. I don't feel "silly" or "stupid" when I profess my love for her in front of friends, acquaintances, or internet message boards. I feel sorta'... proud, 'cause it's HER that I'm in love with, even while I'm standing there telling someone that I love her and start crying. (So much for being a "tough guy," eh?) Jeebuz Christ... and I'm not even a wreck. And I'm actually really, truly happy. Guys... you need to find someone who you can rave about, like this.

12-21-2003, 07:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	There is no such thing as love.

12-21-2003, 08:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	Well, love is a word.... the attraction is created from your hormones, not your heart. Your attraction to someone, the things you look for in him/her, are all molded into your brain from birth. When you see someone who matches some these qualities, your brain realizes it, resulting in attraction. sillygirl, the problem is, I havent seen very many girls who are that genuine. Last edited by SVT01Cobra; 12-21-2003 at 08:12 PM..

12-21-2003, 08:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Yes, love is just a word. I agree. But the feeling that the word describes (although I think that the English language isn't expressive enough to convey the true feeling) is far beyond what most of us (I think all of us) can really truly comprehend. Ever heard the song More Than Words? I think that it pretty much sums up what I'm saying. I think that the word "love" is used too loosely these days. I mean, someone can say in the same breath "I love cars" and "I love my girlfriend" and hopefully fingers crossed they mean different things. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

12-21-2003, 08:18 PM	#12 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	Well, if you're that genuine, I hope you find a guy that can truly love you as much as you deserve to be.

12-21-2003, 08:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Awww, thanks! I think I have. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

12-21-2003, 10:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	Love is simply your hormones reacting to different circumstances. That doesnt mean I'm a cold person. I'm a very warm, and really nice guy. I know how women deserve to be treated. It's just that sometimes I don't get the same in return. From a scientific standpoint love is a chemical balance, same with depression, and many other things. I'm young, so who knows. I might find someone I genuinely love, but it's only going to be someone who loves me back.

12-21-2003, 10:13 PM	#16 (permalink)
NeoSparky Crazy	Seeing posts like this make me think that in the end it is all worthwhile.. Last edited by NeoSparky; 04-18-2005 at 03:34 PM..

12-21-2003, 10:27 PM	#18 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	That's exactly why I'm hesitant to get in a relationship! I personally would NEVER do anything like that to a girl, no one should ever have to go through that kind of pain.

12-22-2003, 12:49 AM	#19 (permalink)
dumbnutofak Crazy Location: Anchorage Alaska	I know being lied to sucks, I know lieing sucks. But I also know that if you are waiting for the "perfect one" Then you are missing out....It's like if you don't "test the water" then you will never find what you are looking for because you will never had a up and down.... one of my ex's wrote this to me when I was ranting about how EVERY girl I date ends up leaving the state.... i know and you know that there is one special girl out there, and you never know she could be right in front of your face and your just not noticing her, i mean it could be anyone of the girls you know and hang out with So yea, Back to the subject.... Congrats Man, Your right I do need to find me a girl like that. __________________ If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is a man who has so much as to be out of danger?

12-22-2003, 02:24 PM	#20 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	Naw, I go out on dates and stuff, but that's about it. I don't like to get in long term relationships is all.

12-22-2003, 04:15 PM	#21 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	If you are never willing to get into a longterm relationship, how will you know when you find THAT GIRL? Pain is bad, getting hurt is bad, but finding someone you can truly love and who truly loves you is worth it all. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

12-22-2003, 04:21 PM	#22 (permalink)
denim Banned Location: Massachusetts, USA	Sillygirl's got it: if you don't play, you can't win.