Asking for it - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Harshaw · 12-14-2003, 10:45 PM

This is a pretty basic question, is it ok to ask for sex? Normally, things just sort of progress to sex, we start kissing and things take off from there. But today, I couldn't quite get her motor to turn over. So as she was getting ready to leave, I asked her if I could "suggest" something before she left. She turned me down, which was fine, but I started to wonder if I had commited some kind of sin. She didn't seem angry, but it did seem to put her off a step.

Is this something I should avoid? Or is it ok from time to time. I really don't want to give her the idea that I only want to see her for sex. But some days, I'm pretty sure I need it or my head will fall off.

analog · 12-14-2003, 10:51 PM

Instead of "asking" for sex, being a bit more proactive in your approach? Give her a reason to be horny, give her a reason to want it. Do things for her to put her in the mood.

Not sure what else to tell you, but good luck.

Harshaw · 12-14-2003, 10:58 PM

The following may make me sound selfish.
I do try to make her want it. But today, she just wasn't having any. Normally, when that is the case I back off. But she had made me want it pretty baddly. Today was one of those days when I *needed* it. I was...umm.. kind of hoping she would "take one for the team" as it were.

Woody182 · 12-15-2003, 12:41 AM

One time is not a big deal, it seems to me that the sexual activity with my girlfriend increases when neither of us really think about it.

Seaver · 12-15-2003, 02:17 AM

Asking for a kiss/sex is like asking for the last piece of pizza. If you dont ask and go for it they may object, if you dont ask, it's yours. If you ask for it you're never going to get it.

Be a man, if you want it she'll know, never say anything about it. Pull her close to you, stare into her eyes, and give her a deep passionate kiss. Hold the back of her neck or head with one arm while you pull her closer with the other.

If she pulls away she's not interested, but you still got a nice kiss.

If not, not only did you get a grade-A kiss, but you'll be a big man in her eyes for having the confidence to go after what you want, and staring into her eyes she'll be 100% sure its HER that you want.

Wombat · 12-15-2003, 03:05 AM

Ahhh it's always hard to tell. Often the quicker way to get rejected is to ask flat-out.

Sho Nuff · 12-15-2003, 07:43 AM

Nothings worse then hinting and hoping all night and going home without getting some. Cut out the middle man and ask. Often youre nervous asking then make it seem like a service.

"I want to do __________ to you" like youre doing her a favor.

kurty[B] · 12-15-2003, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sho Nuff
Nothings worse then hinting and hoping all night and going home without getting some. Cut out the middle man and ask. Often youre nervous asking then make it seem like a service.

"I want to do __________ to you" like youre doing her a favor.

This is a good method. Instead of asking, just say what you'd like to do. That way she can get interested, or say no right then, but won't look at your funny for just simply asking for sex.

moonstrucksoul · 12-15-2003, 12:13 PM

i guess it would depend on the condition of your relationship, i.e. it's been a long one or not. you want to get to the point where you don't need to wonder whether or not she will want sex, you will just know. and when you can tell that she isn't interested in going all the way (as opposed to lot's of kissing and stuff). But as a rule, i would't ask for sex. i agree with acting like you are doing her a favor, because you should be. never go into sex with a selfish attitude.

skysooner · 12-15-2003, 12:38 PM

Women generally know. They are masters of subtlety, and guys aren't very subtle. It is likely she knew, but just had no interest. This doesn't mean you can't ask, but it is all in the approach. I was feeling particularly horny after coming home from the gym on Sunday, but she was obviously tired. I played with the kids for an hour while she napped. Later that night, she suggested having sex as she could obviously read my signs. It's all in the timing.

12-14-2003, 10:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	Asking for it This is a pretty basic question, is it ok to ask for sex? Normally, things just sort of progress to sex, we start kissing and things take off from there. But today, I couldn't quite get her motor to turn over. So as she was getting ready to leave, I asked her if I could "suggest" something before she left. She turned me down, which was fine, but I started to wonder if I had commited some kind of sin. She didn't seem angry, but it did seem to put her off a step. Is this something I should avoid? Or is it ok from time to time. I really don't want to give her the idea that I only want to see her for sex. But some days, I'm pretty sure I need it or my head will fall off. __________________ This too shall pass.

12-14-2003, 10:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	The following may make me sound selfish. I do try to make her want it. But today, she just wasn't having any. Normally, when that is the case I back off. But she had made me want it pretty baddly. Today was one of those days when I needed it. I was...umm.. kind of hoping she would "take one for the team" as it were. __________________ This too shall pass.

12-15-2003, 12:41 AM	#4 (permalink)
Woody182 Crazy Location: Near Chicago, IL	One time is not a big deal, it seems to me that the sexual activity with my girlfriend increases when neither of us really think about it. __________________ If I fall in love, will you forgive me? If I lose my way, will you choose me? If I change my mind, will you change me? -Smashing Pumpkins

12-15-2003, 07:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
Sho Nuff Addict Location: Harlem	Nothings worse then hinting and hoping all night and going home without getting some. Cut out the middle man and ask. Often youre nervous asking then make it seem like a service. "I want to do __________ to you" like youre doing her a favor. __________________ I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

12-15-2003, 12:13 PM	#9 (permalink)
moonstrucksoul hovering in the distance Location: the land of milk and honey	i guess it would depend on the condition of your relationship, i.e. it's been a long one or not. you want to get to the point where you don't need to wonder whether or not she will want sex, you will just know. and when you can tell that she isn't interested in going all the way (as opposed to lot's of kissing and stuff). But as a rule, i would't ask for sex. i agree with acting like you are doing her a favor, because you should be. never go into sex with a selfish attitude. __________________ no signature required

12-14-2003, 10:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
analog Banned	Instead of "asking" for sex, being a bit more proactive in your approach? Give her a reason to be horny, give her a reason to want it. Do things for her to put her in the mood. Not sure what else to tell you, but good luck.

12-15-2003, 02:17 AM	#5 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	Asking for a kiss/sex is like asking for the last piece of pizza. If you dont ask and go for it they may object, if you dont ask, it's yours. If you ask for it you're never going to get it. Be a man, if you want it she'll know, never say anything about it. Pull her close to you, stare into her eyes, and give her a deep passionate kiss. Hold the back of her neck or head with one arm while you pull her closer with the other. If she pulls away she's not interested, but you still got a nice kiss. If not, not only did you get a grade-A kiss, but you'll be a big man in her eyes for having the confidence to go after what you want, and staring into her eyes she'll be 100% sure its HER that you want.

12-15-2003, 03:05 AM	#6 (permalink)
Wombat Crazy	Ahhh it's always hard to tell. Often the quicker way to get rejected is to ask flat-out.

12-15-2003, 12:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Women generally know. They are masters of subtlety, and guys aren't very subtle. It is likely she knew, but just had no interest. This doesn't mean you can't ask, but it is all in the approach. I was feeling particularly horny after coming home from the gym on Sunday, but she was obviously tired. I played with the kids for an hour while she napped. Later that night, she suggested having sex as she could obviously read my signs. It's all in the timing.