Hanging out with the ex ever? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jesus Pimp · 12-06-2003, 04:09 PM

Me my recent girlfriend had a mutual breakup a month ago. We're still friends. We talk occasionally online and over the phone. My question is, what has to happen for us to start hanging out again? Only problem is she's currently dating someone. So anyone have any advice?

SAM821 · 12-06-2003, 04:22 PM

i am currently in that situation, we mutually broke up, we are still friends, and trying to adjust to not being with each other anymore... if you are ok with the fact that things arent the same anymore, then SURE go ahead and chill with her... there is a good chance intimacy will occur, BUT being that she is already dating someone else, then probably not, if she chooses not to be intimate (you'll know by her body language) then respect her feelings and just be a friend.... its VERY tough so just be aware of that....

hope all goes well

wilbjammin · 12-06-2003, 04:41 PM

Yeah... depends on how crazy she is. One of my ex-girlfriends from months and months ago still randomly wants to hang out, and the last time I tried it she was all of me and it was terrible. She had a boyfriend, it didn't matter. My last ex-girlfriend can't handle the thought of being around me at all because I remind her too much of things about herself that she wants to ignore. I'd suggest waiting longer than a month, in any event, time away will help both of you. You can end up being great friends, but you don't want it to resemble anything like a dependency.

Zorvox · 12-06-2003, 06:45 PM

My gf broke it off with me, then there was all this mumble jumble with a mate of mine, then a pregnancy.. she doesn't want to speak to me, and it's driving me crazy..

You wouldn't of gone out with her if she wasn't a great person right?

Treasure what you have and just be her friend.. you have what I would kill for mate

Although, I don't suggest jumping into seeing one another straight away, give it a bit of time.. but just be friends if you can handle it :P

Evil Milkman · 12-06-2003, 07:38 PM

I hang out with my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, actually. We've talked and are comfortable with each other now more than ever. Communication is key!

Sledge · 12-07-2003, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
Me my recent girlfriend had a mutual breakup a month ago. We're still friends. We talk occasionally online and over the phone. My question is, what has to happen for us to start hanging out again? Only problem is she's currently dating someone. So anyone have any advice?

Sup JP?

What is it that you're aiming for by hanging out? Just being friends, or rekindling the fire?

Loup · 12-07-2003, 06:03 AM

As long as it was a mutual break-up and hoping that you guys ended on friendly terms, I don't see any reason why you can't hang out together occasionaly. The fact that she is dating some one is only a problem if you are trying to get together with her again - in which I suggest don't try to do. You two broke up for whatever reasons so I suggest moving on, but stay friends & keep in touch.

What has to happen? You ask if she would like to grab a coffee. You'll know if she'ld like to keep the friendship as strong as possible or if that would be too much for her to handle. Everyone here is mature, right? So take her answer how ever she responds ... unless she's not interested only because her current bf would be jealous. Then he just looks like an immature boob.

Arrion · 12-07-2003, 06:33 AM

Well, it can be done, but it's always usually a bad idea. Things usually work best if you just call if off and leave it off. Somehow, hanging with the ex never works out in anyone's favor.

vveronica · 12-07-2003, 09:47 AM

Hey some of the best sex is ex Boyfriend sex... no commitments no weird unknown area that pop up to surprise...

Just enjoy it

Poyzun_Ivy · 12-07-2003, 11:18 AM

I'm friends with at least 50% of my ex's... we still do things together, go out, and have a good time. It can get a little awkward once in awhile, but all it takes is to suck it up and be an adult, and there's no real trouble. ^_^

kingal · 12-09-2003, 01:51 PM

My ex (after 3 years) is my best friend. The way it works: straight communication and acceptance. We still kiss and hug and tell each other we love one another. And we talk about life in ways we never did as a couple. We talk about dating and partners. It can be hard if one of you is overly attached to the other. Herself and me? well, one day at a time and when jealousy comes up we talk about it on the spot. With us it works.

omega2K4 · 12-09-2003, 02:33 PM

My ex is probably one of my best friends, we've always been friends for as long as I can remember. We decided in late high school to take it to a romantic-type relationship. Things were good, but we decided to break up and stay friends. She's probably one of the coolest people I'll ever know, and I'm glad I still know her.

rufgti · 12-09-2003, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil Milkman
I hang out with my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, actually. We've talked and are comfortable with each other now more than ever. Communication is key!

Agreed...I still hang out with my ex-wife. She and I are best friends. We broke up coz we sucked at being married, but are great as buddies.

No sex though...I don't think my current girl would approve.

although, that would make my number one fantasy come true if I can get them together...hehe.

rufgti · 12-09-2003, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil Milkman
I hang out with my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, actually. We've talked and are comfortable with each other now more than ever. Communication is key!

Agreed...I still hang out with my ex-wife. She and I are best friends. We broke up coz we sucked at being married, but are great as buddies.

No sex though...I don't think my current girl would approve.

although, that would make my number one fantasy come true if I can get them together...hehe.

HockeyGuy · 12-10-2003, 06:31 PM

i still hang out with my ex's when im back in canada, i've been lucky enough to have friendships in them as well.

frozenstellar · 12-10-2003, 07:09 PM

probably my greatest friend is an ex of mine. we didnt work when we were together, but as friends, nothing could come between us. no matter what, i can rely on her at anytime to be there for me, be it help, support, or just to get drunk and dance around like idiots. however, seeing her with another guy when i was still single hurt like hell, but because i knew i had no chance at rekindling the fire, i gritted my teeth together and beared it. best thing i ever did in regards to the relationship.

just remember - just like you, she has a love life, and just because you two are talking/becoming friends, doesnt mean she'll put it on hold. ask yourself this - would you put it on hold?

communication is the key as previously said. the more you take time to become comfortable around them as friends, the greater the friendship can become. all this relying on their efforts aswell, as if its only you making an effort - you're pushing shit uphill.

sub zero · 12-11-2003, 12:33 PM

Its rough...especially getting used to the fact that things just aren't the same anymore. If you can handle her not being your girlfriend anymore...and whatever other changes that came with it, then you should be fine to hang around with her.

12-06-2003, 04:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	Hanging out with the ex ever? Me my recent girlfriend had a mutual breakup a month ago. We're still friends. We talk occasionally online and over the phone. My question is, what has to happen for us to start hanging out again? Only problem is she's currently dating someone. So anyone have any advice? __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

12-06-2003, 04:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
wilbjammin * * *	Yeah... depends on how crazy she is. One of my ex-girlfriends from months and months ago still randomly wants to hang out, and the last time I tried it she was all of me and it was terrible. She had a boyfriend, it didn't matter. My last ex-girlfriend can't handle the thought of being around me at all because I remind her too much of things about herself that she wants to ignore. I'd suggest waiting longer than a month, in any event, time away will help both of you. You can end up being great friends, but you don't want it to resemble anything like a dependency. __________________ Innominate.

12-07-2003, 06:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
Loup Pup no More Location: Voted the Best	As long as it was a mutual break-up and hoping that you guys ended on friendly terms, I don't see any reason why you can't hang out together occasionaly. The fact that she is dating some one is only a problem if you are trying to get together with her again - in which I suggest don't try to do. You two broke up for whatever reasons so I suggest moving on, but stay friends & keep in touch. What has to happen? You ask if she would like to grab a coffee. You'll know if she'ld like to keep the friendship as strong as possible or if that would be too much for her to handle. Everyone here is mature, right? So take her answer how ever she responds ... unless she's not interested only because her current bf would be jealous. Then he just looks like an immature boob. __________________ "If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it." ~ Frank Tyger

12-07-2003, 06:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
Arrion Upright	Well, it can be done, but it's always usually a bad idea. Things usually work best if you just call if off and leave it off. Somehow, hanging with the ex never works out in anyone's favor. __________________ I think I am. Therefore I am. I think

12-07-2003, 09:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	Hey some of the best sex is ex Boyfriend sex... no commitments no weird unknown area that pop up to surprise... Just enjoy it __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

12-06-2003, 04:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
SAM821 Surviving Hurricanes Location: Miami, Florida	i am currently in that situation, we mutually broke up, we are still friends, and trying to adjust to not being with each other anymore... if you are ok with the fact that things arent the same anymore, then SURE go ahead and chill with her... there is a good chance intimacy will occur, BUT being that she is already dating someone else, then probably not, if she chooses not to be intimate (you'll know by her body language) then respect her feelings and just be a friend.... its VERY tough so just be aware of that.... hope all goes well

12-06-2003, 06:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
Zorvox Crazy Location: Sydney, Australia	My gf broke it off with me, then there was all this mumble jumble with a mate of mine, then a pregnancy.. she doesn't want to speak to me, and it's driving me crazy.. You wouldn't of gone out with her if she wasn't a great person right? Treasure what you have and just be her friend.. you have what I would kill for mate Although, I don't suggest jumping into seeing one another straight away, give it a bit of time.. but just be friends if you can handle it :P

12-06-2003, 07:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Evil Milkman Addict Location: Illinois	I hang out with my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, actually. We've talked and are comfortable with each other now more than ever. Communication is key!

12-07-2003, 11:18 AM	#10 (permalink)
Poyzun_Ivy Crazy Location: I'm standing right behind you...	I'm friends with at least 50% of my ex's... we still do things together, go out, and have a good time. It can get a little awkward once in awhile, but all it takes is to suck it up and be an adult, and there's no real trouble. ^_^ __________________ She's pretty as a daisy But look out man she's crazy She'll really do you in If you let her get under your skin

12-09-2003, 01:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
kingal Crazy Location: sunny so. CA	My ex (after 3 years) is my best friend. The way it works: straight communication and acceptance. We still kiss and hug and tell each other we love one another. And we talk about life in ways we never did as a couple. We talk about dating and partners. It can be hard if one of you is overly attached to the other. Herself and me? well, one day at a time and when jealousy comes up we talk about it on the spot. With us it works.

12-09-2003, 02:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
omega2K4 Natalie Portman is sexy. Location: The Outer Rim	My ex is probably one of my best friends, we've always been friends for as long as I can remember. We decided in late high school to take it to a romantic-type relationship. Things were good, but we decided to break up and stay friends. She's probably one of the coolest people I'll ever know, and I'm glad I still know her. __________________ "While the State exists there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin "Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form."- Karl Marx

12-10-2003, 06:31 PM	#15 (permalink)
HockeyGuy Psycho Location: London, England	i still hang out with my ex's when im back in canada, i've been lucky enough to have friendships in them as well.

12-10-2003, 07:09 PM	#16 (permalink)
frozenstellar Without Wings Location: Australia	probably my greatest friend is an ex of mine. we didnt work when we were together, but as friends, nothing could come between us. no matter what, i can rely on her at anytime to be there for me, be it help, support, or just to get drunk and dance around like idiots. however, seeing her with another guy when i was still single hurt like hell, but because i knew i had no chance at rekindling the fire, i gritted my teeth together and beared it. best thing i ever did in regards to the relationship. just remember - just like you, she has a love life, and just because you two are talking/becoming friends, doesnt mean she'll put it on hold. ask yourself this - would you put it on hold? communication is the key as previously said. the more you take time to become comfortable around them as friends, the greater the friendship can become. all this relying on their efforts aswell, as if its only you making an effort - you're pushing shit uphill.

12-11-2003, 12:33 PM	#17 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	Its rough...especially getting used to the fact that things just aren't the same anymore. If you can handle her not being your girlfriend anymore...and whatever other changes that came with it, then you should be fine to hang around with her. __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!