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Hanging out with the ex ever?
Me my recent girlfriend had a mutual breakup a month ago. We're still friends. We talk occasionally online and over the phone. My question is, what has to happen for us to start hanging out again? Only problem is she's currently dating someone. So anyone have any advice?
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i am currently in that situation, we mutually broke up, we are still friends, and trying to adjust to not being with each other anymore... if you are ok with the fact that things arent the same anymore, then SURE go ahead and chill with her... there is a good chance intimacy will occur, BUT being that she is already dating someone else, then probably not, if she chooses not to be intimate (you'll know by her body language) then respect her feelings and just be a friend.... its VERY tough so just be aware of that....
hope all goes well |
Yeah... depends on how crazy she is. One of my ex-girlfriends from months and months ago still randomly wants to hang out, and the last time I tried it she was all of me and it was terrible. She had a boyfriend, it didn't matter. My last ex-girlfriend can't handle the thought of being around me at all because I remind her too much of things about herself that she wants to ignore. I'd suggest waiting longer than a month, in any event, time away will help both of you. You can end up being great friends, but you don't want it to resemble anything like a dependency.
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My gf broke it off with me, then there was all this mumble jumble with a mate of mine, then a pregnancy.. she doesn't want to speak to me, and it's driving me crazy..
You wouldn't of gone out with her if she wasn't a great person right? Treasure what you have and just be her friend.. you have what I would kill for mate :) Although, I don't suggest jumping into seeing one another straight away, give it a bit of time.. but just be friends if you can handle it :P |
I hang out with my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, actually. We've talked and are comfortable with each other now more than ever. Communication is key!
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What is it that you're aiming for by hanging out? Just being friends, or rekindling the fire? |
As long as it was a mutual break-up and hoping that you guys ended on friendly terms, I don't see any reason why you can't hang out together occasionaly. The fact that she is dating some one is only a problem if you are trying to get together with her again - in which I suggest don't try to do. You two broke up for whatever reasons so I suggest moving on, but stay friends & keep in touch.
What has to happen? You ask if she would like to grab a coffee. You'll know if she'ld like to keep the friendship as strong as possible or if that would be too much for her to handle. Everyone here is mature, right? So take her answer how ever she responds ... unless she's not interested only because her current bf would be jealous. Then he just looks like an immature boob. |
Well, it can be done, but it's always usually a bad idea. Things usually work best if you just call if off and leave it off. Somehow, hanging with the ex never works out in anyone's favor.
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Hey some of the best sex is ex Boyfriend sex... no commitments no weird unknown area that pop up to surprise...
Just enjoy it |
I'm friends with at least 50% of my ex's... we still do things together, go out, and have a good time. It can get a little awkward once in awhile, but all it takes is to suck it up and be an adult, and there's no real trouble. ^_^
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My ex (after 3 years) is my best friend. The way it works: straight communication and acceptance. We still kiss and hug and tell each other we love one another. And we talk about life in ways we never did as a couple. We talk about dating and partners. It can be hard if one of you is overly attached to the other. Herself and me? well, one day at a time and when jealousy comes up we talk about it on the spot. With us it works.
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My ex is probably one of my best friends, we've always been friends for as long as I can remember. We decided in late high school to take it to a romantic-type relationship. Things were good, but we decided to break up and stay friends. She's probably one of the coolest people I'll ever know, and I'm glad I still know her.
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No sex though...I don't think my current girl would approve. ;) although, that would make my number one fantasy come true if I can get them together...hehe. |
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No sex though...I don't think my current girl would approve. ;) although, that would make my number one fantasy come true if I can get them together...hehe. |
i still hang out with my ex's when im back in canada, i've been lucky enough to have friendships in them as well.
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probably my greatest friend is an ex of mine. we didnt work when we were together, but as friends, nothing could come between us. no matter what, i can rely on her at anytime to be there for me, be it help, support, or just to get drunk and dance around like idiots. however, seeing her with another guy when i was still single hurt like hell, but because i knew i had no chance at rekindling the fire, i gritted my teeth together and beared it. best thing i ever did in regards to the relationship.
just remember - just like you, she has a love life, and just because you two are talking/becoming friends, doesnt mean she'll put it on hold. ask yourself this - would you put it on hold? communication is the key as previously said. the more you take time to become comfortable around them as friends, the greater the friendship can become. all this relying on their efforts aswell, as if its only you making an effort - you're pushing shit uphill. |
Its rough...especially getting used to the fact that things just aren't the same anymore. If you can handle her not being your girlfriend anymore...and whatever other changes that came with it, then you should be fine to hang around with her.
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