You must be this old to ride: Oppinions? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

NickKell · 12-06-2003, 09:01 AM

I'm not even talking about sex. What if you're turning twenty, but work with high schoolers and a Junior (17) wants to go out with you. Is it acceptable to date if she is younger than 18?

Averett · 12-06-2003, 09:18 AM

No.

I only say this because you work with her. I don't know what the work situation is, but if youre working with a high school student, and you're older I'd be very careful....

In any case I say dating somebody you're working with isn't the best idea.

feelgood · 12-06-2003, 09:55 AM

From what I read, I take that you're employed by the high school right? You should refer to your employee handbook, look for intimacy with student and if it says NO! Roll it up! Smack yourself in the head!

When she turns 18, then its all good to go dude b/c she's an adult. I knew someone that had initimacy going on with a teacher but both got away simply because they were adult although, the teacher was transferred to another school. Major disappointment for her.

My aunt when she was in high school, she had the hots for her math teacher. Long story short, they got married and now its 30 years later, they're divorced. True story.

Sparhawk · 12-06-2003, 10:08 AM

If the two of you are working at, say, Abercrombie and Fitch (to use an incredibly generic example), and you weren't in a supervisory role, I'd say go for it. Read up on your age of consent law, and if it says 18, then wait till she's 18 before doing anything serious.

mikepeca18 · 12-06-2003, 10:18 AM

Why is everyone concentrating on 18?

Every State has a different age of consent.

Here is a list.

Depends on what state your in.

http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

NickKell · 12-06-2003, 10:48 AM

What is this 16/18 stuff? So a 16-year old guy can have sex with a female whose 18, but not the other way around?

No, I'm not employeed by a high school. I work at a retail store, where high school kids just happen to work.

Pragma · 12-06-2003, 10:59 AM

Any time the guy is older than the girl, and the girl (or both) are minors, the law comes down hard against the guy. Sucks, but that's how the law works.

And if you're in a retail store, then yea - as long as you're not her supervisor, you should be ok, as long as you check the age of consent laws in your state.

NickKell · 12-06-2003, 11:11 AM

But that comes back to my original question: if no sex is involved, does the age of consent apply?

Steenoob · 12-06-2003, 11:57 AM

I'd say the law wouldn't apply, but you'd get ribbed by your friends for being together (believe me, we teased a guy about dating a 16 year old when he was 19!).

Also, you'd have to be sure that the relationship never went too far in the sexual direction. She may want it, but nope: illegal.

Sparhawk · 12-06-2003, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sparhawk
If the two of you are working at, say, Abercrombie and Fitch (to use an incredibly generic example), and you weren't in a supervisory role, I'd say go for it. Read up on your age of consent law, and if it says 18, then wait till she's 18 before doing anything serious.

Did anyone actually read this... sigh.

Bloodslick · 12-06-2003, 02:08 PM

I read it, Sparhawk. Do you know ol' Saint Nick here?

NickKell, have you thought about her parents? Dating is all well and good, but I doubt she's out of the house, and most parents frown on their teenage daughters dating anyone older, even by a year.

I've never cared what parents thought, but I wanted to alert you to the potential situation ahead of time. It's not like they can prosecute you for taking her out to a movie, but they can try to make her life hard to keep her from seeing you. Keep it in mind.

Sparhawk · 12-06-2003, 04:48 PM

Southeast VA - 35 Farenheit, feels like 26. Ugh. No snow though :P

NickKell · 12-06-2003, 07:38 PM

There's this guy from Columbia where I work who is 29+. He's always looking at the girls who work there. He doesn't care how old they are (most have been around 18, but some were 16-17). He says in his country that age doesn't matter and he can't wrap his mind around people being upset by him liking these girls. I've tried to explain it to him, but it does no good. In my case, the age difference is so small, that is seems silly that laws should interfere. But they do and such is life.

feelgood · 12-07-2003, 10:16 AM

Why should it matter to you? If you like her, then ask her out. If you guys are just coworker then it shouldn't be a problem...

If she likes you, you like her then how the hell does a small age difference stop you from dating her?

Nothing stops love...nothing!

Jizz-Fritter · 12-07-2003, 12:07 PM

I'm going to be a music teacher, and in my instrumental methods class we talked about this. Here's a wrap up.

"You MUST have a life outside of school, if you don't, then how does that song go, 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with'? I have seen careers destroyed by this. We had one student teacher that a choice had to be made, 'You have to quit student teaching, or she will have to quit band.' If you don't get married, and school is your entire life, things like this WILL happen. It is human nature."

Wait until they graduate to persue them. Don't let someone come between you and a pay check. He/she can wait.

tbc · 12-07-2003, 06:50 PM

The law aside when she's ready u will know. it's different for everyone, some younger than the 'legal' age are ready some older are not. Just give them the respect they deserve and don't push virgins into anything and all will be good

skysooner · 12-07-2003, 07:01 PM

As long as it doesn't get sexual all is good. Hopefully she is reasonably close to turning 18.

rogue49 · 12-07-2003, 09:10 PM

As long as you aren't in a supervisory role,
there shouldn't be a conflict of interest.

Make DAMN sure the laws aren't against you...otherwise you could be screwing yourself, BIG TIME.
Do NOT ruin your life.

And two...PLEASE realize that people mature & change at an incredibly rapid rate between her age & yours.
Make sure you know this.
Who you are seeing now, might be different later,
or she might not be at your level yet relationship wise.
There are going to be MANY life/lifestyle changes going on with her in the next year or so
as she emerges into full adulthood or even out of high school.

Are you sure you want to deal with this?

12-06-2003, 09:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
NickKell Insane	You must be this old to ride: Oppinions? I'm not even talking about sex. What if you're turning twenty, but work with high schoolers and a Junior (17) wants to go out with you. Is it acceptable to date if she is younger than 18?

12-06-2003, 09:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	No. I only say this because you work with her. I don't know what the work situation is, but if youre working with a high school student, and you're older I'd be very careful.... In any case I say dating somebody you're working with isn't the best idea. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

12-06-2003, 09:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	From what I read, I take that you're employed by the high school right? You should refer to your employee handbook, look for intimacy with student and if it says NO! Roll it up! Smack yourself in the head! When she turns 18, then its all good to go dude b/c she's an adult. I knew someone that had initimacy going on with a teacher but both got away simply because they were adult although, the teacher was transferred to another school. Major disappointment for her. My aunt when she was in high school, she had the hots for her math teacher. Long story short, they got married and now its 30 years later, they're divorced. True story. __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

12-06-2003, 10:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
Sparhawk Dubya Location: VA	If the two of you are working at, say, Abercrombie and Fitch (to use an incredibly generic example), and you weren't in a supervisory role, I'd say go for it. Read up on your age of consent law, and if it says 18, then wait till she's 18 before doing anything serious. __________________ "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."

12-06-2003, 10:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
Pragma I am Winter Born Location: Alexandria, VA	Any time the guy is older than the girl, and the girl (or both) are minors, the law comes down hard against the guy. Sucks, but that's how the law works. And if you're in a retail store, then yea - as long as you're not her supervisor, you should be ok, as long as you check the age of consent laws in your state. __________________ Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

12-06-2003, 10:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
mikepeca18 Upright Location: Buffalo, NY	Why is everyone concentrating on 18? Every State has a different age of consent. Here is a list. Depends on what state your in. http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

12-06-2003, 10:48 AM	#6 (permalink)
NickKell Insane	What is this 16/18 stuff? So a 16-year old guy can have sex with a female whose 18, but not the other way around? No, I'm not employeed by a high school. I work at a retail store, where high school kids just happen to work.

12-06-2003, 11:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
NickKell Insane	But that comes back to my original question: if no sex is involved, does the age of consent apply?

12-06-2003, 11:57 AM	#9 (permalink)
Steenoob Upright	I'd say the law wouldn't apply, but you'd get ribbed by your friends for being together (believe me, we teased a guy about dating a 16 year old when he was 19!). Also, you'd have to be sure that the relationship never went too far in the sexual direction. She may want it, but nope: illegal. __________________ YUM!

12-06-2003, 02:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
Bloodslick Loser Location: a darkened back alley	I read it, Sparhawk. Do you know ol' Saint Nick here? NickKell, have you thought about her parents? Dating is all well and good, but I doubt she's out of the house, and most parents frown on their teenage daughters dating anyone older, even by a year. I've never cared what parents thought, but I wanted to alert you to the potential situation ahead of time. It's not like they can prosecute you for taking her out to a movie, but they can try to make her life hard to keep her from seeing you. Keep it in mind.

12-06-2003, 04:48 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sparhawk Dubya Location: VA	Southeast VA - 35 Farenheit, feels like 26. Ugh. No snow though :P __________________ "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."

12-06-2003, 07:38 PM	#13 (permalink)
NickKell Insane	There's this guy from Columbia where I work who is 29+. He's always looking at the girls who work there. He doesn't care how old they are (most have been around 18, but some were 16-17). He says in his country that age doesn't matter and he can't wrap his mind around people being upset by him liking these girls. I've tried to explain it to him, but it does no good. In my case, the age difference is so small, that is seems silly that laws should interfere. But they do and such is life.

12-07-2003, 10:16 AM	#14 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	Why should it matter to you? If you like her, then ask her out. If you guys are just coworker then it shouldn't be a problem... If she likes you, you like her then how the hell does a small age difference stop you from dating her? Nothing stops love...nothing! __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

12-07-2003, 12:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
Jizz-Fritter Crazy Location: Bowling Green, KY	I'm going to be a music teacher, and in my instrumental methods class we talked about this. Here's a wrap up. "You MUST have a life outside of school, if you don't, then how does that song go, 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with'? I have seen careers destroyed by this. We had one student teacher that a choice had to be made, 'You have to quit student teaching, or she will have to quit band.' If you don't get married, and school is your entire life, things like this WILL happen. It is human nature." Wait until they graduate to persue them. Don't let someone come between you and a pay check. He/she can wait.

12-07-2003, 06:50 PM	#16 (permalink)
tbc Crazy	The law aside when she's ready u will know. it's different for everyone, some younger than the 'legal' age are ready some older are not. Just give them the respect they deserve and don't push virgins into anything and all will be good

12-07-2003, 07:01 PM	#17 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	As long as it doesn't get sexual all is good. Hopefully she is reasonably close to turning 18.

12-07-2003, 09:10 PM	#18 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	As long as you aren't in a supervisory role, there shouldn't be a conflict of interest. Make DAMN sure the laws aren't against you...otherwise you could be screwing yourself, BIG TIME. Do NOT ruin your life. And two...PLEASE realize that people mature & change at an incredibly rapid rate between her age & yours. Make sure you know this. Who you are seeing now, might be different later, or she might not be at your level yet relationship wise. There are going to be MANY life/lifestyle changes going on with her in the next year or so as she emerges into full adulthood or even out of high school. Are you sure you want to deal with this?