Being Nice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Klipsch · 12-04-2003, 05:29 PM

Asked this girl out at work today if she'd like to go out sometime...walking back from our break having our usual conversation and I popped the question...got this response:

Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Her: "Normally I would, but I'm dating someone right now."
Me: "I understand, just thought I'd ask you."
Her: "Thanks (smiles)...Yeah..."//then mentions what we could talk about on the date (we are from the same city).
Me: //said something...in agreement.
Her: "Well I'll definately keep it in mind, if this falls through."
Me: "Ok Cya Jane."
Her: "Cya."

I'm assuming she is letting me down lightly, and I'll move on, however I've never got that response b4.

We've been talking here and there at work to where it's personal, and the signs like she is interested but declined (she's never mentioned that she dating someone). Any thoughts?

1337haxor · 12-04-2003, 06:14 PM

Don't worry about it and move on. Just assume it won't fall through. If it does and she is still interested, she may come back to you.

gabshu · 12-04-2003, 06:45 PM

Good luck next time, but its time to move on.

Zorvox · 12-04-2003, 07:12 PM

Just let her know that you would still be interested in taking her out on a date because you think she's a great person blah blah, then say - but I understand where your at now.. but the offer is always there.

DEI37 · 12-04-2003, 08:02 PM

Offer to be a friend, nothing more. If that stays cool, and you're smart about it, if her current BF falls through, you'll be on the list for new prospects, anyways. Good luck.

Evil Milkman · 12-04-2003, 08:41 PM

Girls are fickle, she may change her mind. Move on, but be friends with her, yes.

kifferfong · 12-04-2003, 09:22 PM

Sounds like what i went through. Gave lotsa signals, lotsa words too, told me to wait for her till she is able to end it, cos it wasn't working out well with her current bf. When she ended it with her boyfriend... i was there for her and all, but after a while... she just plain forgot me. Just like that. It was as if all those words said never happened. We suddenly reverted back to "acquaintances" and until today i have no idea how that could happen.

So, my advice is... it could happen, it could not. Stay friends with her, fine, but don't put high hopes in it, and just move on.

But all the best, man.

dragon2fire · 12-04-2003, 09:25 PM

dating at work = bad idea

m0ntyblack · 12-04-2003, 09:36 PM

Yeah...I agree with dragon2fire, no on the coworker dating thing. I've seen and experienced too many bad things come out of it, and not many (read: none) good things. Also, maintain "acquaintance" level, because if you get too involved on the friend level....well, the ladder theory comes to mind.

MB

PredeconInferno · 12-04-2003, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DEI37
Offer to be a friend, nothing more. If that stays cool, and you're smart about it, if her current BF falls through, you'll be on the list for new prospects, anyways. Good luck.

Personally, I think this is the best advice here. Let her know you can be trusted. Pursue BEING HER FRIEND nothing more. If you're lucky enough, or she's unlucky enough (is it half full or emtpy?) you may get a chance at some point to actually go on a date with her, etc.

Klipsch · 12-05-2003, 01:44 AM

Some excellent points here on both ends of the spectrum. I did edit my post a little bit as it came back to me.

For some reason my gut tells me this girl is interested in me, just by the way acts, and way she conversates. Again if she is dating someone else and was sincere in her statements I respect that.

Regardless of the sincerity or not, I will take it at face value and move on. I will maintain the "acquiantance" level with her...she's cool in general...and we do work together. At least she knows how I feel.

Battlefield · 12-05-2003, 02:01 AM

Even if she IS interested in you she has a bf, do you really want a girl who keeps a guy in the stables while she goes out looking for something else?

Bloodslick · 12-05-2003, 06:22 AM

As bad as people say relationships at work are, I still wish I'd followed up on a few opportunities I've had at work.

This one, however, is probably not meant to be. Enjoy the cool person that she is.

emphant · 12-06-2003, 01:07 AM

Do NOT "be a friend" for her and "be there for her" unless you are content being nothing but that.

Be friendly, no doubt. I don't know who said it, but when girls are single, their list of friends is about the last place they look for a new guy.

You are right on with the aquaintence thing.

empu · 12-06-2003, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klipsch
Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Her: "Normally I would, but I'm dating someone right now."
Me: "I understand, just thought I'd ask you."

I think you were already picking up some negative (or at least neutral) energy even leading into this exchange. For example, you could've responded, with a wicked grin, "So what? Let's have dinner, what's the worst that could happen?"

I'm not saying you should've said something like that. I'm sure you said the right thing based on what you felt. But it's interesting sometimes to explore the story behind the words.

vveronica · 12-06-2003, 07:34 AM

move on.

Klipsch · 12-07-2003, 05:54 PM

Thanks you guys.

I'll keep the option open if it ever presents itself.

We talked today actually at work, I just said hey how are you...etc...to get rid of the ackwardness (we were in the lunch room grabbing some food they ordered in) we talked briefly, then in the evening (they ordered food in again). She approached me and started talking to me as usual. My gut still tells me she is intrigued by me so I'll just leave it at that and move on.

12-04-2003, 05:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
Klipsch Upright	Being Nice Asked this girl out at work today if she'd like to go out sometime...walking back from our break having our usual conversation and I popped the question...got this response: Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?" Her: "Normally I would, but I'm dating someone right now." Me: "I understand, just thought I'd ask you." Her: "Thanks (smiles)...Yeah..."//then mentions what we could talk about on the date (we are from the same city). Me: //said something...in agreement. Her: "Well I'll definately keep it in mind, if this falls through." Me: "Ok Cya Jane." Her: "Cya." I'm assuming she is letting me down lightly, and I'll move on, however I've never got that response b4. We've been talking here and there at work to where it's personal, and the signs like she is interested but declined (she's never mentioned that she dating someone). Any thoughts? Last edited by Klipsch; 12-05-2003 at 01:33 AM..

12-04-2003, 06:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
gabshu Psycho Location: The capital of the free world??	Good luck next time, but its time to move on. __________________ Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

12-04-2003, 08:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Offer to be a friend, nothing more. If that stays cool, and you're smart about it, if her current BF falls through, you'll be on the list for new prospects, anyways. Good luck. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

12-05-2003, 01:44 AM	#11 (permalink)
Klipsch Upright	Some excellent points here on both ends of the spectrum. I did edit my post a little bit as it came back to me. For some reason my gut tells me this girl is interested in me, just by the way acts, and way she conversates. Again if she is dating someone else and was sincere in her statements I respect that. Regardless of the sincerity or not, I will take it at face value and move on. I will maintain the "acquiantance" level with her...she's cool in general...and we do work together. At least she knows how I feel. Last edited by Klipsch; 12-05-2003 at 01:47 AM..

12-06-2003, 07:34 AM	#16 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	move on. __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

12-04-2003, 06:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
1337haxor Insane Location: PA	Don't worry about it and move on. Just assume it won't fall through. If it does and she is still interested, she may come back to you.

12-04-2003, 07:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
Zorvox Crazy Location: Sydney, Australia	Just let her know that you would still be interested in taking her out on a date because you think she's a great person blah blah, then say - but I understand where your at now.. but the offer is always there.

12-04-2003, 08:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
Evil Milkman Addict Location: Illinois	Girls are fickle, she may change her mind. Move on, but be friends with her, yes.

12-04-2003, 09:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
kifferfong Tilted Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia	Sounds like what i went through. Gave lotsa signals, lotsa words too, told me to wait for her till she is able to end it, cos it wasn't working out well with her current bf. When she ended it with her boyfriend... i was there for her and all, but after a while... she just plain forgot me. Just like that. It was as if all those words said never happened. We suddenly reverted back to "acquaintances" and until today i have no idea how that could happen. So, my advice is... it could happen, it could not. Stay friends with her, fine, but don't put high hopes in it, and just move on. But all the best, man.

12-04-2003, 09:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
dragon2fire Junkie	dating at work = bad idea

12-04-2003, 09:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
m0ntyblack Crazy	Yeah...I agree with dragon2fire, no on the coworker dating thing. I've seen and experienced too many bad things come out of it, and not many (read: none) good things. Also, maintain "acquaintance" level, because if you get too involved on the friend level....well, the ladder theory comes to mind. MB

12-05-2003, 02:01 AM	#12 (permalink)
Battlefield Crazy	Even if she IS interested in you she has a bf, do you really want a girl who keeps a guy in the stables while she goes out looking for something else?

12-05-2003, 06:22 AM	#13 (permalink)
Bloodslick Loser Location: a darkened back alley	As bad as people say relationships at work are, I still wish I'd followed up on a few opportunities I've had at work. This one, however, is probably not meant to be. Enjoy the cool person that she is.

12-06-2003, 01:07 AM	#14 (permalink)
emphant Crazy Location: Meeshagain	Do NOT "be a friend" for her and "be there for her" unless you are content being nothing but that. Be friendly, no doubt. I don't know who said it, but when girls are single, their list of friends is about the last place they look for a new guy. You are right on with the aquaintence thing.

12-07-2003, 05:54 PM	#17 (permalink)
Klipsch Upright	Thanks you guys. I'll keep the option open if it ever presents itself. We talked today actually at work, I just said hey how are you...etc...to get rid of the ackwardness (we were in the lunch room grabbing some food they ordered in) we talked briefly, then in the evening (they ordered food in again). She approached me and started talking to me as usual. My gut still tells me she is intrigued by me so I'll just leave it at that and move on.