mysto

Hi, I'm kind of new here.
I was wondering if anyone could give me advice on how to get a girl that already has a boyfriend. The story is, she liked me before but now she's dating this guy. I think deep down she still likes me. I don't really want to hurt the guy she's dating now. What should I do? Thanks.

arch13

You don't.
That's disrespectful and your going out of your way to start trouble. She made her choice, so respect it.

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numist

in addition to arch13's post, how long do you think your relationship would last with her if she was already willing to leave one boyfriend for another... it just wouldnt work.

Never deal with a cheater.

Sledge

Yeah. Let her do it on her own time if you think she digs you. Otherwise, their relationship is something no one else should interfere with.

SecretMethod70

Wait.

And that's all there is to say about that.

Oh yeah, and JUST be a good friend - nothing less, nothing more. Don't plan on ever dating her and take your friendship for what it is. If the opportunity comes and you still feel the same way, then you can consider it.

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teflonian

Sadly, I agree with all the other posters so far. People can give you all the advice for breaking up a relationship they want, but the simple truth of the matter is that relationships are complicated and even if you did manage to break up the other relationship, you wouldn't necessarily be able to get in a realtionship with this girl. And if you did, it probably wouldn't be on the firmest footing. Though, I would probably drop a couple hints her way of your true feelings to plant the seeds of whatever in her mind just in case there is a possibility of her being single in the near future.

Jackshit

I would have to disagree with some of the other posters.

You have to judge just how serious the relationship between the G/F and B/F.

If they are very serious - I would leave it alone and not interfere. If they are more casual then by all means throw your hat into the ring and put your best foot forward. Let her decide.

LIfe is too short to worry about what other people might think. You sometimes have to follow your heart

motdakasha

If it was meant to be, you wouldn't have to "get" her.

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sailor

Um, dont.

Thats just not cool. Think about it this way--if you were that guy, how would you like it if some other guy was trying to take your girl? You wouldnt.

The best you can do is keep it open--keep in touch.

But dont be an ass.

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jerseyboy

Dude take this advice from someone in the same position, who has finally learned the err of his ways. Nothing is gonna happen, and if something does you are inevitably end up hurting someone. The best thing to do is look for someone else, until she is single cause there is nothing you can do to get her to breakup with her boyfriend, date you, and not hurt someone all at the same time.

irateplatypus

its wrong for you to try to hook up w/another guy's girl. if you try and succeed, you're stuck w/a girl who probably won't be faithful to you either. just wait it out or find someone else.

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31Friction

im so against this I'm not even going to get started... If you were to actually care about her and found her in a bad relationship that would be the only reason I could ever find feesable. and NOT so you could date her once she did....

anyway, im going to refrain from going to much further into it...

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rainheart

You shouldn't focus on one girl to begin with, and the only reason you should lack that much respect for another couples relationship to try and break it up is because you're a lil' bastard (you lil' bastard you!) looking for a challenge.

You want to break up their relationship because she might like you? Because she is the only girl that reciprocates real conversation back when you guys talk? (sorry if that's offensive but that actually happens)

But if you want some advice... erode the relationship away from within. How? I don't really want to elaborate or spoon feed anybody that sort of information.

empu

This is a problem that can only solve itself. In the meantime, forget about it.

shileno

find a new girl..move on..

Peetster

It depends on your motivation.

You might think that she is more attractive to you than to her current beau. Unfortunately, she probably won't see it that way and any efforts to prove your point will cause her to look at you like some kind of stalking creep.

You might think you have more to offer her than her present love interest. Unfortunately, any attempts to show her that will be interpreted as manipulative and self serving.

Oh, wait. It doesn't depend, does it?

Loup

It sounds as if she had decided. Just be a friend with her - but don't expect anything. If she then decides to get out (without intervention) then step up to the plate.
Life is also to short to stand in other peoples shadows trying to get something that isn't there for them to take (at the time at least). My suggestion - hang out with them once in a while, be a friend to her, and focus elsewhere if it is a relationship that you seek.

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Jimbob666

If the boyfriend treats her like crap, does that change the situation any? I'm pretty much in that situation.

Plan9Senior

That sentence right there was enough for me to get the creeps. SERIOUSLY, leave them alone. If she is interested in you, she will make it known to you. If she makes it known while she is with another man, then she is trash and would end up cheating on you later down the road. My advice, go find your own girl kiddo

jerseyboy

Think about this very carefully, does her boyfriend really treat her like crap or are you trying to justify your actions. Also remember that you are not around the two of them 24/7 and he may actually be a very nice guy a lot of the time, you just dont see it.

monkeysugar

*Disclaimer: I am a fairly blunt person when it comes to giving advice.*

Don't do it. How would you feel if you were in that guy's position. I've had it happen to me, and it sucks. By "hurt" I'm hoping you mean emotionally. If you're successful, yes, it will hurt him. If you mean physically....I'm not even gonna touch that one.

So she liked you. She's now with this guy. I'd say she likes him better. If you gave a crap about her, you'd probably be happy that she is happy in her new relationship. I don't presume to know any of the details but that's how I see it.

This has been stated many times, but it's true: if she cheats on her current bf to be with you, how can you be sure she's not gonna cheat on you too?

Once you get past this girl, you will probably find yourself wondering why the hell you were so sprung on her.

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Rudel73

Hmmm thats more or less the situation i'm in now, i like probably my best friends GF but i'm also REAL REAL REAL good friends with her. I'm just leaving it at that, i dont want to sacrifice either of those relationships for something that wont last forever. Maybe if they break up i'll go for it, but i'm not forcing a break up thats not cool at all

sub zero

Do the same thing you would do if she didn't have a boyfriend, except in this case, try to make her feel like she's missing out on something.

One more thing:
[sub zero doesn't seem to know how to express himself without being rude]

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Johnny Rotten

Too many fish in the sea for that kind of drama, in my opinion.

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pay_me

TWO things little man . NEVER FUCK WITH A MANS FAMILY. AND NEVER FUCK WITH HIS OLD LADY GOT IT !!!!!!!!

im2smrt4u

Don't do it!

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wrongfullyaccuzd

i gotta agree with the peoplle who are saying 1) don't be a bastard and 2) what kind of a girl is she if she would just leave her boyfriend like that? you don't want that.

LaughinMon

is it weird that i felt like punching you in the face for asking that question?

maybe i am biased because i am in a serious relationship with a girl that is sought after by other guys. it seems like natural instinct to want to hurt them, hurt them real bad.

amen to: never fuck with a mans family and never fuck with a mans old lady.

dont be a bastard and make me hunt you down and throw you a right across the face

unless the dude himself is a bastard and treats her like shit, lay off. NOW.

vveronica

why waste all that time on playing games,,, besides if she finds out you broke them up she will hate you.. Life is far to short! Go find a new love.

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yournamehere

Let's summarize:
1. No - it's not fair to him, her, or you.
2. If she leaves him for you, she'll leave you soon enough, too.
3. As nasty as some of the later posts have been, I think it's the mods' nap time.

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mysto

Sorry it took me awhile to reply to my own thread.
First of all, thank you for all your replies and useful input.
Secondly, I'd like to say that I am not at all used to relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend wise) and I didn't expect these replies. I didn't think that this was such a terrible thing to do.
Because of the strong opposition that your views brought, I won't pursue this relationshop; however, I'd just like to say that before she had this boyfriend I knew she liked me but I didn't really have any feelings for her, then just last year I started to like her but didn't show it. She ended up dating this guy (I don't think it's a really 'serious' relationship) for awhile, and now just recently she starts coming on to me, telling her friends to be best friends with me and get to know me (I know, weird), always giving me the eye etc... So I'm kind of thinking... You know... Anyways thanks for your constructive criticism I guess; however I would like to point out some people whose messages were quite disturbing:

I know you are probably just kidding and I shouldn't be mad just because you didn't put one of those tongue out smilies after it, but if you weren't, then, I don't think you should be saying things like that to people you don't know, or know the whole story about. I know I shouldn't have said 'how do I GET a girl that has a boyfriend' guess I should have explained a bit more.

Same deal.

Peace.

rival

Anyone else check his profile just to make sure he isn't in your town and talking about your girlfriend? That's always my first reaction to these types of threads.

VitaminH

Take it from someone who has been on the other end of your situation friend. I once dated a girl for 4 years of which about 1/2 of that time on and off another guy kept trying to break us up so he could have her. It never worked, and she always promised me it was always me and never him. Then one day she told me she'd been fooling around with him for the past couple weeks. At one point this was the girl I thought i was going to marry. The whole thing rocked my to my very core, and it hurt.

Respect your fellow males, and never try and take away their women. I think the saying goes, bros before hoes. Uphold it. Live by it.

Leave this girl to be. If she dumps him of her own accord then fine go for it, but until that point I think you should forget about it. Some girls can crave the attention and if you're showering her with it when her real boyfriend is not around she might not mind at all, and even lead you on a bit to keep it going. However, if she sees you've suddenly stopped caring then the ball's in her court and she has to decide what to do.

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clues_blues

You may not love this girl, so my comment may not apply, but I agree with monkeysugar's comment above in the sense that I always understood love to be the unconditional wish for another's happiness. Therefore if you were truly in love with this chick you would be happy that she was happy even if it wasn't with you...

c_b

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Cynthetiq

ugh.....

you are either an asshole or you're not. if you take her away from her b/f... it brings you into the realm of being an asshole.

don't be an asshole.

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Sho Nuff

Sub Zero put it perfectly. If you really want the woman then ignore her boyfriend. Think of him as insignificant compared to you and use the situation to your advantage. If she wants to go to a movie tell her that she cant go because her boyfriend wouldnt like what you do to her in the dark. Say things that build mystery and make her start to view her boyfriend as an obsticle. Even if she doesnt leave him, you stand a good chance of getting some anyway.

And dont worry about being an asshole. If you can take her from him then she was never his to begin with. Everyone is responsible for their own choices. You have no reason to be loyal to that guy. If he was a friend of yours youd be an asshole but hes some random schmo so what do you care?

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Tatt_bitch

Am I the only one thinking "Stalker"?