spanking the monkey - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

taliendo · 11-16-2003, 11:46 PM

Time to fess up. . .

Masturbation is a natural part of being an animal, so . . .

How often do you wank your chain? Did you give it up when you started having sex? Ever have mutual masturbation with a partner? (a personal favorite of mine) Prefer porn or the imagination? Ever been caught?

. . . .

My mother walked in on my when I was 16 and I still beat it at least once a day. If not, you definitely know somethings the matter with me.

Bloodslick · 11-16-2003, 11:50 PM

I'm having regular sex, and I still masturbate frequently. She's not around all of the time to sleep with, is she?

We've masturbated together before. It's fun, but not a regular thing. We eventually wonder why we're not simply having sex.

I've never been caught masturbating. I am stealthy.

analog · 11-16-2003, 11:58 PM

Do a search before starting a new thread, this way you can contribute to what others are already talking about, and not start a duplicate thread.

I wank too much, therefore...

MilleniumClock · 11-17-2003, 12:06 AM

Meh, i spank the monkeh all the time, but yeah i'm stealthy too, lewl, so i've never been caught :-P

Dilbert1234567 · 11-17-2003, 12:10 AM

we are all adults here, we can call it what it is, masterbation, it is normal and does nto need to be hidden under teh guise of cute names.

taliendo · 11-17-2003, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dilbert1234567
we are all adults here, we can call it what it is, masterbation, it is normal and does nto need to be hidden under teh guise of cute names.

wow, i guess your pet name for mr. winky is 'penis' too? how very professional of you.
....
not knocking on you dude, but it was just meant to be a fun thread.

rainheart · 11-17-2003, 12:37 AM

I think I generally do better when I don't masturbate, I guess the whole state of having that need running through my body gets me to be more active.

I know for sure if I go crazy on a weekend or something I actually get depressed... that's how it seems. I don't know. Does anybody else get that? You go on a spree and then you end up feeling worse? Not just temporarily but for say an entire day.

j03th3j3w · 11-17-2003, 12:39 AM

i am a habitual spanker of thy monkeh! im not sure what to call it.. a good habit.. or a bad habit... meh.. ohwell...

fap fap fap!

platypus · 11-17-2003, 06:19 AM

Hell, even Britney does it.

Quote:

NEW YORK - Britney Spears likes masturbating so much, she's written a song about it.

"The Touch of My Hand" appears on her new album, "In the Zone." Spears tells "People" magazine that "it's a positive thing to indulge in yourself in a sexual way." She says "guys can talk about it. Why can't girls?"

Spears says she doesn't "do it all the time," but "if you say you don't do it, then you're lying." Spears says masturbating teaches you what turns you on. Then, she says, "you're able to give more to other people."

<b>Linky</b>

So, how much would you pay to see....

vveronica · 11-17-2003, 09:40 AM

Well it is sorta second to what is best... a long hard throbbing muscle so deep inside meeeeeee.... oh ah okay gotta go.... heheheheheheh

mb99usa · 11-17-2003, 09:46 AM

I "pull the tab" on a regular basis. Both porn and the imagination work equally well. I'm married but you know sometimes you just need soemthing to do.

zildjian · 11-17-2003, 03:53 PM

Been wanking since 11 years old.....aint stopping now 20 years later, it's what makes me who I am......A WANKER!!

legolas · 11-17-2003, 03:59 PM

Omg is that Britney Spears article true? If so, that is freaking awesome and I'd give all I had and then some.

Parabola · 11-17-2003, 11:22 PM

Of course I do. Pretty much a daily thing and at times it helps to put me to sleep at night.

TheBrit · 11-18-2003, 12:28 PM

The Winker's Song (misprint)
By Ivor Biggun
The Winker's Album (1978)
Transcribed from disc by Martin Rundkvist

My mother said that I never should
play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
Their giggling talk I could never understand,
and that's why I fell in love with my right hand.

And that's why
(Chorus)
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'.

I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed,
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.

And that's why
(Repeat Chorus)

Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.

I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain.
I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,
an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.

And that's why
(Repeat Chorus)

Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
Thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.

air45 · 11-18-2003, 12:38 PM

holy smoke, i always yank my member even if i have sex two times in the day!

my drive is very much for sex, so i must relieve my stiff member more and more!

sub zero · 11-18-2003, 02:45 PM

At least three times a week, more if my girlfriend isn't in the mood

Dilbert1234567 · 11-18-2003, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taliendo
wow, i guess your pet name for mr. winky is 'penis' too? how very professional of you.
....
not knocking on you dude, but it was just meant to be a fun thread.

no offense taken the way the post read it seemed like you wnted to get some weight off your chest but were to embarised to speak of it out in the open.

11-16-2003, 11:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
taliendo Insane Location: an indelible crawl through the gutters	spanking the monkey Time to fess up. . . Masturbation is a natural part of being an animal, so . . . How often do you wank your chain? Did you give it up when you started having sex? Ever have mutual masturbation with a partner? (a personal favorite of mine) Prefer porn or the imagination? Ever been caught? . . . . My mother walked in on my when I was 16 and I still beat it at least once a day. If not, you definitely know somethings the matter with me. __________________ -LIFE IS ABSURD-

11-17-2003, 12:10 AM	#5 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	we are all adults here, we can call it what it is, masterbation, it is normal and does nto need to be hidden under teh guise of cute names. __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

11-17-2003, 09:40 AM	#10 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	Well it is sorta second to what is best... a long hard throbbing muscle so deep inside meeeeeee.... oh ah okay gotta go.... heheheheheheh __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

11-17-2003, 09:46 AM	#11 (permalink)
mb99usa Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while. Location: wherever I am	I "pull the tab" on a regular basis. Both porn and the imagination work equally well. I'm married but you know sometimes you just need soemthing to do. __________________ So, what's your point? It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

11-17-2003, 03:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
zildjian Tilted	Been wanking since 11 years old.....aint stopping now 20 years later, it's what makes me who I am......A WANKER!! Last edited by zildjian; 11-17-2003 at 03:57 PM..

11-16-2003, 11:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bloodslick Loser Location: a darkened back alley	I'm having regular sex, and I still masturbate frequently. She's not around all of the time to sleep with, is she? We've masturbated together before. It's fun, but not a regular thing. We eventually wonder why we're not simply having sex. I've never been caught masturbating. I am stealthy.

11-16-2003, 11:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
analog Banned	Do a search before starting a new thread, this way you can contribute to what others are already talking about, and not start a duplicate thread. I wank too much, therefore...

11-17-2003, 12:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
MilleniumClock Upright	Meh, i spank the monkeh all the time, but yeah i'm stealthy too, lewl, so i've never been caught :-P

11-17-2003, 12:37 AM	#7 (permalink)
rainheart Psycho	I think I generally do better when I don't masturbate, I guess the whole state of having that need running through my body gets me to be more active. I know for sure if I go crazy on a weekend or something I actually get depressed... that's how it seems. I don't know. Does anybody else get that? You go on a spree and then you end up feeling worse? Not just temporarily but for say an entire day.

11-17-2003, 12:39 AM	#8 (permalink)
j03th3j3w Tilted Location: crazy... would you like to join?	i am a habitual spanker of thy monkeh! im not sure what to call it.. a good habit.. or a bad habit... meh.. ohwell... fap fap fap!

11-17-2003, 03:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
legolas shit faced cockmaster Location: CT	Omg is that Britney Spears article true? If so, that is freaking awesome and I'd give all I had and then some. __________________ "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

11-17-2003, 11:22 PM	#14 (permalink)
Parabola Crazy	Of course I do. Pretty much a daily thing and at times it helps to put me to sleep at night.

11-18-2003, 12:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
TheBrit Psycho	The Winker's Song (misprint) By Ivor Biggun The Winker's Album (1978) Transcribed from disc by Martin Rundkvist My mother said that I never should play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood. Their giggling talk I could never understand, and that's why I fell in love with my right hand. And that's why (Chorus) I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker. and it does me good like it bloody well should. I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker and I'm always pulling my pud'. I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed, and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist. It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD. It's available at any time and it's absolutely free. And that's why (Repeat Chorus) Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters, thank you for having me and being oh, so kind. I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter, My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind. I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain. I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train. I've used a badger and a melon and a cat, an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat. And that's why (Repeat Chorus) Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters, Thank you for having me and being oh, so kind. I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter, My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.

11-18-2003, 12:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
air45 Loser Location: Midwest	holy smoke, i always yank my member even if i have sex two times in the day! my drive is very much for sex, so i must relieve my stiff member more and more!

11-18-2003, 02:45 PM	#17 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	At least three times a week, more if my girlfriend isn't in the mood __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!