89transam

I always hear these wild notions that "there is one person for everyone" or "Soul mates" or things of the like.

Do you beleive in this? That in a world of billions of people there is supposedly one person that you are "destined " to be with?

I say No ,sure there may be a single "best" person that you could be the happiest with (there has to be right?), but If you were really picky and only could "be with" one out of a million people (how many people have you known in your life that well, not a million I would bet) but either way thats still ~3,000 people .

And if there is one person for everyone, I would say that most people do not end up with the person.

Harshaw

Nah, I say you find people you like and grow to feel like they are the one for you. I think some people come pre-packaged to feel like "the one". But you will run in to more people who could eventually become the one person for you.
In my life I can think of 2 girls that I know were "the one" and probably 10 that I could have grown to feel that way about.

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thebiz

If so, then its an amazing coincidence that the person you're meant to be with for the rest of your life just happens to live a couple blocks away.

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Bloodslick

I believe that there are only so many personality archetypes in the world. If that's the case, then there has to be more than one person for everyone. If type 5 gets along with type 2, then all type 5s should get along with all type 2s. The thing that sets a "soul mate" apart is how well you know the little things about their life. I may meet twenty beautiful type 27s in one night and feel an immediate attraction to all of them, but I will only have spent time learning all of the little things about the type 27 I brought to the party with me.

jay-g

I think that there are mutilple people you could marry in the world. I also believe though, there is one that is set apart from the others. She or he would blow your mind and have you out of control. In that case, lets just say that theres 30 people that you can be compatible with. Out of that 30, one is your soul mate. He or she is gonna be above and beyond the other 29 possible mates. The only hard part is finding that person. May the winds of love carry you freely and naturally to your destiny........

j03th3j3w

i dont believe there is a "one" there are too many ppl in the world to have jus one soul mate... i could say that i could spend the rest of my life one person... would that be considered as "the one"?

Rlyss

I don't believe there is a 'one' that you are supposed to be with. I think there are many, but when you go through so many bad relationships, and find a fantastic one, you automatically think 'he or she is the one'.

It's like that saying, 'It's always in the last place you look.' Of course it is, because once you find it (the 'one'), you stop looking, therefore you assume that was the only place it was, ie. that's the only person for you.

But if your partner ever asks you this sort of thing, always say you think there's only one person for you. If you say what I've said you're destined to be alone.

vveronica

Sometimes we find them like i did... sometimes it is a relationship that cant be or at least is not supposed to be,, like mine... Sometimes we loose track for what ever reason and someties we never meet but I am a true believer of soul mates..

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Averett

I don't believe there is a "one". That thought is too damn depressing. There are what, 5 billion people on this planet? And I'm supposed to meet my "one" with those odds? Why don't I just resign myself to the fact that I never will?

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SabrinaFair

I like a quote from an episode of Will and Grace...

Grace: I want to marry "the one".
Karen: Well of course. If you don't marry the one, how are you going to get to the two and the three?

But no, I don't believe in "one person for everyone". Maybe there are a few instances of "soulmates" out there, but for the most part, I think you just find someone you can stand to live with.

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ARTelevision

Sometimes there are two.

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diddagirl

I too think that you could be very happy with more than one person. I think "the one" or your soul mate is someone you perhaps are more compatible with.

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minyn

sure... sounds great on paper.

This is real life.

Compromise?

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legolas

I suppose you could be with ANYONE, even someone of the sex that you don't find attractive. I do believe in God and destiny though. There is one person you will be with and things don't work out with the person you though was it, you were wrong. That could be just a blind optimist view though.

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Plan9Senior

There are "many" not just "one".

emmdubbs

this sounds odd. but makes sense in my head

i think everyone has 1 person to belong with..like..hmm

A is supposed to be with B (according to this theory) but...
B is supposed to be with C and
C is supposed to be with B....

results B and C are ultimatly going to get together...and A is just going to kill both of them for fucking it's life up.

kinda like if A can beat B and B can beat C logically A can beat C.

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World's King

And yet for others there can be an enitre group of friends that seem to fit you. Then you get all confused and everyone starts to get angry 'cause you keep sleeping around with their best friends.

But Art... you've done it right. Keep on Truckin'

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hobo

Ya, thinking of girls as "the one" isn't that healthy unless you are in a very serious relationship. Usually we tend to get obsessed and think too highly of a girl, only to be disappointed. We usually grow into thinking that so I doubt there are actual soul mates out there.

Johnny Rotten

When people start looking for "the one," they start looking for someone who will blow their mind...and forget about the part where you have to blow her mind as well. It has to be a mutual fit. There is no "one," just people who fit into a threshold of synchronicity beyond anyone else you know. The point is, get to know a lot of people. "The one" won't come to you.

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jvwgtr

I always interpreted the "there's someone for everyone" phrase to mean for every personality type, there's another personality type out there that would be a good match.
I think that there are lots of people for everyone.
I think that, to ensure the survival of the species, we could settle down with just about anybody, given the right circumstances.

Everyone you meet could be and is your soulmate.

motdakasha

Ok, I wish I had statistics so I could calculate this out, but here it goes... In theory:

There are more women (something like 52%) than men in this world, so it doesn't match up one man to every woman. Then there are woman to woman and man to man pairs to consider. If there are more man to man pairs that means there are even less het men with which to pair het women. (Unfortunately, there aren't any statistics for ratio of homosexual/bisexual people) Then there are triangles and squares and pentagons.. which may be all male, all female, or have more females, or more males. (Again no statistics)

Then, your "soulmate" could live halfway across the world.

So, realistically speaking, *if* "soulmates" were real, it seems your chances of meeting them are pretty slim.

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legolas

If someone believes in soul mates they have to believe a littler farther than that, too. If you believe that there is one chances are you believe that you will meet up with them, too. They are put in such a spot where you will meet somehow. It could be half way across the world where a business trip takes you, or it could just be someone next door.

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MSD

I don't believe that there is only one person I could be happy with. If it were true, my life would be pointless because I am confident that I blew the only chance I had. Unless there can be more than one perfect match, then there is no point in my existence. That would just be too depressing, and I would like to think that I have more than one chance.

sub zero

no, that's complete bullshit

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guthmund

God, what a depressing read.....

I look over the replies and I see people breaking down their soul search to statistical analysis, blind chance and coincidence.

My gosh, where, my comrades, is the romance. Wouldn't it be much nicer to live under the romantic notion that there is a perfect yin to your yang; a perfect counterbalance to yourself that completes the whole. While, it's realistic and certainly pragmatic to break things down into realms of coincidence and happenstance of compatability, aren't you just compounding the depressive? With all the other things in the world that systematically beat down the spirit and breakdown the physical, can't you suspend pragmatism to allow love (a very abstract emotion, at best) a little bit of room in the realm of the supernatural.

Of all the successful couples I know, I have not once heard their stories of meeting open up with "Well, statistically speaking we were compatable enough to predict a successful dating sequence. We then both decided that things weren't going to get any easy if we were to break up so we settled instead."

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im2smrt4u

Well, my g/f is perfect for me! I don't know the odd, or care about them, I just know she's mine, forever!

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OFKU0

Hmmm,.. where is the romance? I'd say in most of Meg Ryan's fantastical Hollywood movie sets.

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Plan9Senior

Although it is cute, your waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too caught up in fake reality. Movies, television, commericals etc are a poor display of reality. Welcome to the real word guthmund .

legolas

Who's to say what is real. Maybe there is only one person and all you are just pessimists. You can't argue fate over choice, there's no way to argue that. It's just two sets of beliefs.

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Rubyee

I would really like to think that there is one person for me, and that I am with that person.

But, if there is one person for me, then I would probably be afraid that I was not really with that one person and wasting time with the person I was with. I was broken up with once, it was a 3 year relationship that was going great, just because he thought that he might be missing out on 'The One' and that he better date around to find out. Needless to say, when he decided that I was 'The One', I wasn't waiting around for him.

I think that there are people you like, people you loathe, and people you love, and that the people in those groups can be completely different people. Some are just lucky and can find loves.

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Esen

Maybe the one isnt the person you first meet,
Perhaps a person becomes the "one" for you through time.
After you are with someone long enough and that there is nothing you can tell them that would make you feel ashamed.
They grow with you.

The real "one" is the person you wake up with each morning and hug every night. the one who you fight with and feel hurt with. The one who you love as you love yourself.

You can only truly love someone when you can truly love yourself.
Perhaps the "one" is someone who helped nurture you to that level of love.
I don't think that the one is a number of people . but instead the fusion of yourself into someone else.
As you grow together you feed each other a kind of emotional nourishment.
And they become the one because they are now part you.

They wernt the one for you when you first met because that fusion had yet to exist.

People ask is this person really the one? well we will find out when they are or arnt there years from now to share your life joys and pains.

The life and love we lead has to overcome many obstacles and a panthera of evolving moving bridges.
It is the one who we can survive the maze with you who is the trueone.

The last person standing to throw a rose on your casket when you finally pass away, the one who never casts the last tear.

Many people say that life is a test, and maybe you can say the "one" is person who passes the test and stands at yourside at the winners circle. the circle of your love and life.

Kind of like the children. My son is also the one for me in a different way because he grows from me, and not just geneticly but emotionally and ethhicly. he has so many strands of my personality in him.

It may even tie into one of the reasons why people who adopt children have the love and devotion that any parent would have. because it may be anothers geanes in the child but it is their love and Ideals that make the child what they truly are.

i'm sorry to sound gooshy, but this is how the "one " is found for me.

and that "one" is proving to be my wife.

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Esen

Yes Art I do beleive that there can be two, and who knows, that may even be more powerfull then anyone who is not a part of that to imagine.

The true openess of 3 people merging together and becoming a one would be immense, If it can succeed.. which I do know does hapen but it is a part of a very large maze and many people get lost in it. but the 3 who make it and everything clicks. must be something so special that I can only feel nothing but the upmost admiration for.

3 people living together equally is more then just a relationship it is a true powerfull friendship!

But I'm not with 2 , so I might be totally off, this is just what I think it would be like to me.

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What is everyone doing in my room?

analog

I think the "one" belief is bullshit. You meat someone, and may FEEL that they are "the one", but you mean "the one" FOR YOU.... but only because you met them. Some people have instant chemistry, or the "love at first site" thing. This is great, but I don't believe at all in a "one person" idea.

txlovely

Let's hope not.

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motdakasha

I don't think it's depressing at all. I'm glad to know that I can make a relationship work if I want to. I don't have to worry whether or not I'm with "the one" and if it doesn't work with the person who I think is "the one," I don't have to be depressed that I've missed my one chance in life to be with "the one." My point of view is more optimistic. If the relationship works, it works. Wonderful. If it doesn't work, great, I can move along in the world to the next person I think I feel I connect with. If it doesn't work from the "romantic" point of view, that's it. It means I've missed my one chance to meet my one true love and will never meet someone that's right for me ever again until the day I die. The end. Now, that's depressing!

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Battlefield

Who knows...you may think you're the one but how can you ever know unless you meet someone who makes you feel even better. Or maybe that person doesn't exist and you have met the one. It's better to stop looking for "the one" and just realize that a good fit is a good fit.

guthmund

I'm not picking on you Plan9, your reply just seems to sum up what everybody else said.

I understand the "real world." Believe you me I understand. But I've come to the realization that the time and effort I put into failed relationships could have been spent other ways. The weeks, the months that I desperately spent clinging onto folks, who I knew weren't any good for me, could have been spent on other projects. I know this isn't going to be explained very well, but I'll try anyway. Say you see me sitting on the side of the road squeezing a rock to get a drink of water. I've been sitting there all day squeezing the damn thing and haven't got a drop. You'd call me a fool. But if I keep squeezing a relationship, looking for something that isn't there, you'd call me persistent. You'd applaud my effort at making my relationship "work."

Why did I hang onto these "others" when I knew that it would amount to nothing? I rationalized it. Now, I've met women that have excited my mind and body and left me wanting more, but they come few and far between. I told myself that I'm an semi-attractive fellow, but I'm getting older and flabier so statistically there are only so many "others" left. I can hang on to this gal, who kind of likes me, and we can cling to each other in desperation, or I can go my own way and stumble across real love, instead of "settled" love. I can't step forward with one foot in the door.

Are we so desperately afraid of ending up alone, that we settle for anything that resembles what we were looking for in the first place? There is an old joke that's a list of all the attributes women look for in men and it's organized by the woman's age. So, women in their 20's are looking for "tall, dark, handsome, rich, nice smile, good with kids"...etc.... The woman in her 40's is just looking for "breathing." It's kind of funny, but it's also true (and not just for women. Let's curb that before it starts, eh?). I guess my question is why?

I just have to question why we take the mysticism out of everything. Do we settle for shoes that don't fit? Even if your standards are ridiculously high, if you can't find one person out of 6+ billion to make your toes curl then you aren't trying hard enough and maybe you should settle for the next thing that's mildly appeasing that walks around the corner.

So, I ask again, Where has the romance gone? I see stories, poems, sonnets, songs, and art dedicated to it. So, it must be hanging round. I just don't see too many people practicing it. It seems we've become disillusioned with it and that's what I was trying to convey.

So, in conclusion, ladies and jellyspoons...(insert Eddie Izzard joke here) we need to seek out love, not settle on mediocrity. I'm better than that, you're better than that, we're better than that.

I know this is rambling. I know it probably doesn't make much sense and I would do better to try and howl over the storm, but I had to try. Maybe I'm wrong.....but, then again

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LaughinMon

im with you all the way on this, guthmund and chauncey

i believe there is that one person that is your perfect match. if a relationship with a person doesnt work out or they dont make you feel complete like real love does instead of settled love, then they arent the one.

you dont "lose your chance" with the one, you keep looking for him/her or decide to go with settled love as guthmund put it. sure, there are lots of people that youre compatible with but only one true love with the one.

where is the love?

Crisis

There is not the "one". But what I hope to find is someone that can make me the best person I can be and if she's right for me I can hopefully do the same for her in return. Looking for the one will leave you dissappointed with what you get. The more you ponder with this person if she is the one I believe will weaken the realtionship. Make sense of everything as it happens and don't concern yourself what could happen in the future. Enjoy the moment don't waste it.