why does doing the right thing, not always feel so good? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

shotofgmplease · 04-27-2003, 11:10 PM

alright first off let me explain that i'm cursed. it seems that i only attract women who are already taken and always seem to be living with there boyfriends. i feel like a damn homewrecker but ohwell.

anyways i broke up with my ex back about a year ago and about 2 weeks after i did so, so started dating someone else and is now currently living with this guy and has moved since then to a different state. she still calls me and tells me that she thinks her and i are going to be married and that she still loves me. i just basically am like yeah ummmm i really need to stop talking to this girl because i just don't want to ruin her life by again taking her away from another guy and then end up dumping her later since she is still the same person i broke up with and this is how i know it still won't work. it appears that treating her right as i feel any man should do for their women has stabbed me in the back because apparently this is the reason why she doesn't stop calling. i no longer answer and have just decided to leave her be. well she was in town last week and was hounding me about going out and before when we used to talk she would tell me that she was gonna come back to the dc area and fuck my brains out. yeah she's dangerous because she knows how much i love that pussy of hers. well i avoided seeing her because i knew it was the right thing to do and all she does is give me a guilt trip and in the end me thinking that i've done a good thing just makes me feel like shit and an asshole. i did the right thing right? or should i of just fucked her and taken her away from her current boyfriend and do this whole thing over again? yeah i know, i did the right thing but shit if it doesn't bit you in the ass.

so i've told you that i'm cursed with finding women that are taken. here is my second issue. i started seeing this girl i used to work with who i thought was totally hot and i never thought i had a chance in hell with her. i've posted about this girl on the last tf and did receive some good advise so thanks off first off my brother and sista's of the TF! well i have been keeping in touch with her just to see what would happen. well i happened to run into her at a bar and let me tell you that when she saw my face, she was literally speechless and basically looked like she went into shock since we hadn't seen eachother in just over 3 months. well let me tell you....i hope i did the right thing here and let me explain. first off seeing her was totally awesome and all my feelings came back and nothing felt more comfortable then laying a kiss right on her and she was not pushing me away (no her boyfriend wasn't around). well then is when i realized that this girl isn't going to leave the loser she dates for me and out of nowhere i just say listen.....we can't do this anymore. she looks at me and starts crying and i say we can do this anymore, we can keep talking like we're lovers because you're never gonna leave him and i told her in different time we would of been great. she's still crying and kissing me at the same time, i let her know that i still love her very much and she also reminds me aswell and i just said, you're just not ready for me now but the day you're single...come find me sweetheart and i walked away.

personally i don't know how that all came out since i was about 12 or 15 beers deep but i knew it had to be done because obviously nothing had changed and i was just gonna end up back in the same boat (without her) and her feeling guilty about cheating and hating herself.

so again, i know i did the right thing but god why did it feel so bad? to know that she's crying because of me and to know that she still loves me and for some reason which totall confuses me won't leave her boyfriend. i feel bad.

it seems regardless of what us guys do, women can always make us feel like we didn't do the right thing.

ohwell......i love women.

anyone gone through this or want to let me know that i've done right or wrong?

thanks people.

Cynthetiq · 04-28-2003, 09:06 AM

seems like you like the safety issue. meaning, it's safe to go after these women because they won't really be yours. You can have them for a short period of time but in the reality of commitments, you don't have anything to worry about because they are already taken.

Look within yourself, I think you answered it best. Why should you feel bad because someone else won't do something about their own situation.

tricks · 04-28-2003, 11:32 AM

I feel your pain. You're kicking yourself in the head for doing it but it's for the best.

I was flirting with a girl at work and asked her to go to Vegas. Turned out she wasn't old enough to gamle quite yet. We did go out once and talked alot, about everything. Turns out she had had a very tough childhood. She was the classic "daddy left me, I need to manipulate men, I date scumbags" type. She had been a stripper briefly. She was dating a Meth dealer.

I helped her realize why she was doing what she was doing and told her to find a nice guy closer to her own age. (She was being born about the same time I was graduating highschool.) Then, I promptly forgot what I told her and became a bit obcessed with her. Took me a while to get over it but she found a nice guy and is engaged, (which I think was too quick.) I found a school for her in the field she was interested in.

She's happy. She's doing very well. She's staying out of trouble. I don't see her every day anymore. I don't talk to her as much. She has -not- invited me to parties. You know, "you can't come, myboyfriend will be there." So, there's still a little somthing there.

I hate myself for giving her up before anything could have started but I feel good about her outcome.

jets · 04-29-2003, 06:24 AM

My advice was rude and insulting to woman so redravin had to edit me.

shotofgmplease · 05-02-2003, 06:20 AM

yeah it was a bit but you know how you worded it isn't always as easy and its said. when you care it makes it harder to just send them packing. it will all works itself out and for the time being i already have another lady i'm workin on and she's shhhhweeet!

anyways thanks all for the advise and comments!

04-27-2003, 11:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
shotofgmplease Upright Location: NEAR DC	why does doing the right thing, not always feel so good? alright first off let me explain that i'm cursed. it seems that i only attract women who are already taken and always seem to be living with there boyfriends. i feel like a damn homewrecker but ohwell. anyways i broke up with my ex back about a year ago and about 2 weeks after i did so, so started dating someone else and is now currently living with this guy and has moved since then to a different state. she still calls me and tells me that she thinks her and i are going to be married and that she still loves me. i just basically am like yeah ummmm i really need to stop talking to this girl because i just don't want to ruin her life by again taking her away from another guy and then end up dumping her later since she is still the same person i broke up with and this is how i know it still won't work. it appears that treating her right as i feel any man should do for their women has stabbed me in the back because apparently this is the reason why she doesn't stop calling. i no longer answer and have just decided to leave her be. well she was in town last week and was hounding me about going out and before when we used to talk she would tell me that she was gonna come back to the dc area and fuck my brains out. yeah she's dangerous because she knows how much i love that pussy of hers. well i avoided seeing her because i knew it was the right thing to do and all she does is give me a guilt trip and in the end me thinking that i've done a good thing just makes me feel like shit and an asshole. i did the right thing right? or should i of just fucked her and taken her away from her current boyfriend and do this whole thing over again? yeah i know, i did the right thing but shit if it doesn't bit you in the ass. so i've told you that i'm cursed with finding women that are taken. here is my second issue. i started seeing this girl i used to work with who i thought was totally hot and i never thought i had a chance in hell with her. i've posted about this girl on the last tf and did receive some good advise so thanks off first off my brother and sista's of the TF! well i have been keeping in touch with her just to see what would happen. well i happened to run into her at a bar and let me tell you that when she saw my face, she was literally speechless and basically looked like she went into shock since we hadn't seen eachother in just over 3 months. well let me tell you....i hope i did the right thing here and let me explain. first off seeing her was totally awesome and all my feelings came back and nothing felt more comfortable then laying a kiss right on her and she was not pushing me away (no her boyfriend wasn't around). well then is when i realized that this girl isn't going to leave the loser she dates for me and out of nowhere i just say listen.....we can't do this anymore. she looks at me and starts crying and i say we can do this anymore, we can keep talking like we're lovers because you're never gonna leave him and i told her in different time we would of been great. she's still crying and kissing me at the same time, i let her know that i still love her very much and she also reminds me aswell and i just said, you're just not ready for me now but the day you're single...come find me sweetheart and i walked away. personally i don't know how that all came out since i was about 12 or 15 beers deep but i knew it had to be done because obviously nothing had changed and i was just gonna end up back in the same boat (without her) and her feeling guilty about cheating and hating herself. so again, i know i did the right thing but god why did it feel so bad? to know that she's crying because of me and to know that she still loves me and for some reason which totall confuses me won't leave her boyfriend. i feel bad. it seems regardless of what us guys do, women can always make us feel like we didn't do the right thing. ohwell......i love women. anyone gone through this or want to let me know that i've done right or wrong? thanks people. __________________ whadata my damie.

04-28-2003, 09:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	seems like you like the safety issue. meaning, it's safe to go after these women because they won't really be yours. You can have them for a short period of time but in the reality of commitments, you don't have anything to worry about because they are already taken. Look within yourself, I think you answered it best. Why should you feel bad because someone else won't do something about their own situation. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

04-28-2003, 11:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
tricks Crazy	I feel your pain. You're kicking yourself in the head for doing it but it's for the best. I was flirting with a girl at work and asked her to go to Vegas. Turned out she wasn't old enough to gamle quite yet. We did go out once and talked alot, about everything. Turns out she had had a very tough childhood. She was the classic "daddy left me, I need to manipulate men, I date scumbags" type. She had been a stripper briefly. She was dating a Meth dealer. I helped her realize why she was doing what she was doing and told her to find a nice guy closer to her own age. (She was being born about the same time I was graduating highschool.) Then, I promptly forgot what I told her and became a bit obcessed with her. Took me a while to get over it but she found a nice guy and is engaged, (which I think was too quick.) I found a school for her in the field she was interested in. She's happy. She's doing very well. She's staying out of trouble. I don't see her every day anymore. I don't talk to her as much. She has -not- invited me to parties. You know, "you can't come, myboyfriend will be there." So, there's still a little somthing there. I hate myself for giving her up before anything could have started but I feel good about her outcome. __________________ People Are Stupid. People can be made to believe any lie, either because they want it to be true or because they fear that it is.

04-29-2003, 06:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
jets Insane	My advice was rude and insulting to woman so redravin had to edit me. __________________ Hey. Wasn't Me. Last edited by redravin40; 05-01-2003 at 10:32 AM..

05-02-2003, 06:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
shotofgmplease Upright Location: NEAR DC	yeah it was a bit but you know how you worded it isn't always as easy and its said. when you care it makes it harder to just send them packing. it will all works itself out and for the time being i already have another lady i'm workin on and she's shhhhweeet! anyways thanks all for the advise and comments! __________________ whadata my damie.