Love vs Lust - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Spydr · 09-17-2003, 04:21 PM

Now before I start this little rant let me put my cards on the table.

Lust is great. Nothing like some good old fashioned no holds barred grinding. You know that night out that ends up back in the lounge room then the kitchen then the bedroom followed by the quickie the next morning standing at the front door saying goodbye

For me though there is something missing when the feeling isn't there. I don't mean a declaration of undying love for all eternity, I am just talking about caring for the person you are with, spending a little time getting to know then and what they want (be it 10 minutes or a lifetime). The wish to make THEM happy. To respond to thier needs and wants is a real turn on.

I guess for me its the pleasure you can give to someone lese that makes it all that much better for me.

OK so there we have it. What I want to know is how you guys and galls feel about it. Are you a lover of lust or do you lust after love? Lust or Love? What gets your juices flowing?

pocon1 · 09-17-2003, 05:41 PM

It's both. Sex is great, sex with your lover or partner is even better. Of course, if I had it my way, I'd have my wife and a lustful woman together. But it is not happening in my marriage.

motdakasha · 09-17-2003, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Sex without Love
By Sharon Olds
<pre>
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health -- just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.</pre>

My favorite poem on this subject. While it is sex without love, you have got to admire the people who are strong enough to pull it off. I've done it a few times and it's not very appealing to me. If I'm in dire need of sex, I'll do it, but it's certainly not something I'd prefer to continue in the long run. It's much better when you feel a connection.

bermuDa · 09-17-2003, 07:51 PM

I yearn for sex... but I've always yearned for something more than just physical intimacy.

wry1 · 09-17-2003, 08:05 PM

From what I've seen in my circle of friends, lust is highly overrated. Both my roommate and another friend have many a bunk-up with the "woman-du-jour" (as I call 'em) and they keep on searching around for something that's missing....all the while thinking that they'll find it in the next meaningless fuck.

Not me. I catch some crap from those friends on the subject, but I prefer to find something more in my sexual partner(s). A level of intimacy beyond the physical adds so much to sex, and I decided long ago that so long as I had the choice, I wouldn't settle for less.

Lust is okay....if you're a teenager. But when you mature, go for something a bit more.

......Better yet, take the person you love and screw 'em like it's lust. They won't ever forget it!

sexymama · 09-17-2003, 08:05 PM

I've done it both ways and definitely prefer having an emotional connection over just sex. There is something much more meaningful, fulfilling, and "sexy" about being with the man I love.

Mael · 09-17-2003, 08:50 PM

well, i'd prefer to have love, but i'll take any lust sex any time i can get it too (assuming i'm not in a relationship, no cheating for me.)

analog · 09-17-2003, 10:09 PM

relationship sex has always been best.. there's just something about being emotionally connected to the person you're having sex with... even if it's dirty, nasty lustfully-driven sex.

anti fishstick · 09-18-2003, 01:40 AM

lust can exist with love..
but love doesn't necessarily exist with lust.

i'd rather have love.

Spydr · 09-18-2003, 06:02 PM

Thanks for the replies. Good to see that despite social commentary (read critisism) that love is alive and kickin' it

Captain Canada · 09-18-2003, 07:05 PM

I lust for love. I just think that one night stands, fuck buddies, etc.... just lack the thing that should make it great, the actually feelings to the other person. Which is why I have NEVER "hooked up" with a girl.

vveronica · 09-19-2003, 02:47 PM

Love is wonderful Love is fantastic. I have a guy in my life I love and will thru this life and the next and the next as I have thru those in the past. But, in this one it is a terribly taboo'd relationship.
So Back to sex without love, Sure All the time, Sure there is something missing. It is that fire that love adds to passion.
But come on, some times you need lust to find out if there is any passion that love could be added to..

Orion · 09-21-2003, 09:40 AM

loveless sex doesn't have to be meaningless sex. the kind with love is better, but the kind with friendship and affection can be very comfortable, very warm. it's not capable of reaching the heights of emotion. which means it's not as intense, certainly, but it's also not as harrowing. sex with an affectionate friend can actually be very healthy.

that said, i rather have a honest to bob -lover- any day.

09-22-2003, 09:22 PM

Lust is great and it's necessary with any love you have. I think you can be in lust with someone and not in love and vice versa. No matter what people say about love being the ultimate when having sex, lust is a staple in order to have good sex. Love is quite overrated when it comes to sex in my opinion but it makes the sex that much more amazing.

Thraeryn · 09-23-2003, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by vveronica
But come on, some times you need lust to find out if there is any passion that love could be added to..

Quote:

Originally posted by Orion
loveless sex doesn't have to be meaningless sex. the kind with love is better, but the kind with friendship and affection can be very comfortable, very warm. it's not capable of reaching the heights of emotion. which means it's not as intense, certainly, but it's also not as harrowing. sex with an affectionate friend can actually be very healthy.

Pretty much sums up my feelings. Love is excellent, lust is fun, and when the two meet it's excellent fun.

09-17-2003, 04:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Spydr Upright	Love vs Lust Now before I start this little rant let me put my cards on the table. Lust is great. Nothing like some good old fashioned no holds barred grinding. You know that night out that ends up back in the lounge room then the kitchen then the bedroom followed by the quickie the next morning standing at the front door saying goodbye For me though there is something missing when the feeling isn't there. I don't mean a declaration of undying love for all eternity, I am just talking about caring for the person you are with, spending a little time getting to know then and what they want (be it 10 minutes or a lifetime). The wish to make THEM happy. To respond to thier needs and wants is a real turn on. I guess for me its the pleasure you can give to someone lese that makes it all that much better for me. OK so there we have it. What I want to know is how you guys and galls feel about it. Are you a lover of lust or do you lust after love? Lust or Love? What gets your juices flowing?

09-17-2003, 07:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	I yearn for sex... but I've always yearned for something more than just physical intimacy. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

09-17-2003, 08:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I've done it both ways and definitely prefer having an emotional connection over just sex. There is something much more meaningful, fulfilling, and "sexy" about being with the man I love. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

09-18-2003, 01:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	lust can exist with love.. but love doesn't necessarily exist with lust. i'd rather have love. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

09-18-2003, 07:05 PM	#11 (permalink)
Captain Canada Addict Location: University of North Carolina at Greensboro	I lust for love. I just think that one night stands, fuck buddies, etc.... just lack the thing that should make it great, the actually feelings to the other person. Which is why I have NEVER "hooked up" with a girl. __________________ Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace. Last edited by Captain Canada; 09-18-2003 at 07:14 PM..

09-17-2003, 05:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
pocon1 Banned	It's both. Sex is great, sex with your lover or partner is even better. Of course, if I had it my way, I'd have my wife and a lustful woman together. But it is not happening in my marriage.

09-17-2003, 08:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	From what I've seen in my circle of friends, lust is highly overrated. Both my roommate and another friend have many a bunk-up with the "woman-du-jour" (as I call 'em) and they keep on searching around for something that's missing....all the while thinking that they'll find it in the next meaningless fuck. Not me. I catch some crap from those friends on the subject, but I prefer to find something more in my sexual partner(s). A level of intimacy beyond the physical adds so much to sex, and I decided long ago that so long as I had the choice, I wouldn't settle for less. Lust is okay....if you're a teenager. But when you mature, go for something a bit more. ......Better yet, take the person you love and screw 'em like it's lust. They won't ever forget it!

09-17-2003, 08:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mael Banned Location: The Hell I Created.	well, i'd prefer to have love, but i'll take any lust sex any time i can get it too (assuming i'm not in a relationship, no cheating for me.)

09-17-2003, 10:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
analog Banned	relationship sex has always been best.. there's just something about being emotionally connected to the person you're having sex with... even if it's dirty, nasty lustfully-driven sex.

09-18-2003, 06:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
Spydr Upright	Thanks for the replies. Good to see that despite social commentary (read critisism) that love is alive and kickin' it

09-19-2003, 02:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
vveronica Psycho Location: northern california	Love is wonderful Love is fantastic. I have a guy in my life I love and will thru this life and the next and the next as I have thru those in the past. But, in this one it is a terribly taboo'd relationship. So Back to sex without love, Sure All the time, Sure there is something missing. It is that fire that love adds to passion. But come on, some times you need lust to find out if there is any passion that love could be added to.. __________________ ...We find ourselves in a struggle for our very right to exsist... We will not go quietly into the night... We will not give up without a fight...

09-21-2003, 09:40 AM	#13 (permalink)
Orion Upright	loveless sex doesn't have to be meaningless sex. the kind with love is better, but the kind with friendship and affection can be very comfortable, very warm. it's not capable of reaching the heights of emotion. which means it's not as intense, certainly, but it's also not as harrowing. sex with an affectionate friend can actually be very healthy. that said, i rather have a honest to bob -lover- any day.

09-22-2003, 09:22 PM	#14 (permalink)
noodle Guest	Lust is great and it's necessary with any love you have. I think you can be in lust with someone and not in love and vice versa. No matter what people say about love being the ultimate when having sex, lust is a staple in order to have good sex. Love is quite overrated when it comes to sex in my opinion but it makes the sex that much more amazing.