The question of how many.. and the paranoia that follows - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

no_code · 08-22-2003, 03:17 PM

so, how many is tooo many?

rogue49 · 08-22-2003, 06:48 PM

too many...what?

chavos · 08-22-2003, 07:11 PM

try your best not to ask. make sure relevant individuals have been tested for STDs...and try to leave it at that.

That said, if you have to ask...the answer may already be: "too many." If your partner's sexual history bothers you...they can't change it. Talk about it if it is an issue, but try to leave numbers and numbers out of the question.

cheerios · 08-22-2003, 07:38 PM

how many sexual partners previous to the current one, he means. the whole Clerks question of "how many other cocks have you sucked?"

i8one2 · 08-22-2003, 07:44 PM

if you have one too many you have cheated.

grumpyolddude · 08-22-2003, 08:29 PM

Enough is as good as a feast.

anti fishstick · 08-22-2003, 09:06 PM

does it really matter? it's in the past.

Trilidon · 08-22-2003, 09:18 PM

it matters ;P

mml · 08-22-2003, 09:30 PM

Can become an issue if you let it. I have a good friend who lost his fiance when he finally told her he was in triple digits. He was her second. Eventually, they discussed it and worked it out and have now been married for six very happy years. So I really don't think there should be a number, as had been said the past is the past. This is idealistic, but that's how I feel it should be.

anti fishstick · 08-22-2003, 09:40 PM

i think its important to know, share and discuss eachother's past experiences but you shouldn't hold number counts against them. it's a good way for getting a feel of how your partner is though.. and their patterns. i'd be a little cautious if i knew my partner had a history for cheating, for example. it's not about how many partners they've had, but how they handle relationships. and that's always good to know :P

El Conquistador · 08-23-2003, 12:07 AM

The numbers don't bother me, as long as they weren't entirely one night stands.

Nizzle · 08-23-2003, 01:31 AM

I'm a firm believer that prior dating history should be left unspoken. Communication is important, but talking about past sexual partners has no intrinsic value. The only reason your partner could possibly be interested in this subjects is out of morbid curiosity and ultimately jeleousy.

What does it matter? A relationship begins when two people make a connection. Technicalities such as how many people you have slept with don't have any real meaning.

analog · 08-23-2003, 09:33 AM

I don't think it should matter, and left unsaid if possible.

I mean, if I sleep with 1 girl and get 5 diseases, that's a MILLION times worse than sleeping with 20 clean girls. As long as you're clean, I don't think the past should matter at all.

fallen_angel · 08-23-2003, 02:17 PM

hmm to me it doesnt matter because yes it is in the past. Lifes to short to keep count of everything. to me the number doesnt matter as long as each one you had some kind of attachment to that person at the time

soxsfans · 08-24-2003, 06:22 AM

The only real answer should be, "no others since you".

sexymama · 08-24-2003, 02:33 PM

As long as I'm the only one now, the past does not matter. What does matter is taking the time to make sure that both parties are healthy.

World's King · 08-24-2003, 03:19 PM

As long as you keep yourself clean, use protection, and not make a big deal out of it... it really doesn't matter.

I've been with far more then my fair share of girls and it's never been a big issue with anyone. I'm always honest and let the girl know I'm clean and very well taken care of.

aintyoboyfriend · 08-24-2003, 11:15 PM

I agree with most everything said here so far.

There is no such thing as too many, as long as you haven't cheated on your current.

It certainly is best to avoid an actual number if at all possible, because even if you say two including you, that is going to be to many.

08-25-2003, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cheerios
the whole Clerks question of "how many other cocks have you sucked?"

36 dicks ????!!????

well, 37 actually...

But in all seriousness - as many as you feel comfortable with - the important this is to practice safe sex and get yourself tested often (especially if you're keeping a harem )

hobo · 08-25-2003, 01:48 PM

Any number is good as long as you don't have any STDs.

wry1 · 08-29-2003, 03:29 PM

It all comes down to this....

If you're just inquisitive, then fine: ask away. However, you don't get the right to judge the person you asked. They were honest enough and open enough with you to answer, so you need to be accepting and get on with your relationship.

If you find that you cannot do so, you really need to stop asking these sorts of questions of future partners - I say "future" because you probably won't be able to survive this one if you can't get over it.

Anti-fishstick and the rest have a valid point. It's all in the past. What's truly important is that the person you're with is with you and ONLY you - and so long as you're keeping that in mind, you'll do just fine.

08-22-2003, 03:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
no_code Upright Location: Sweden	The question of how many.. and the paranoia that follows so, how many is tooo many? Last edited by no_code; 08-22-2003 at 03:47 PM..

08-22-2003, 07:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
i8one2 COMPLETED and A TRAINER Location: BEAN_TOWN	if you have one too many you have cheated. __________________ LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC" "Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad" Quality is for those who know what they want and are at peace with what they have. "S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

08-22-2003, 08:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Enough is as good as a feast. __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

08-22-2003, 09:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	does it really matter? it's in the past. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

08-22-2003, 09:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
mml Adrift Location: Wandering in the Desert of Life	Can become an issue if you let it. I have a good friend who lost his fiance when he finally told her he was in triple digits. He was her second. Eventually, they discussed it and worked it out and have now been married for six very happy years. So I really don't think there should be a number, as had been said the past is the past. This is idealistic, but that's how I feel it should be. __________________ Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." -Douglas Adams

08-22-2003, 06:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	too many...what?

08-22-2003, 07:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
chavos Banned Location: St. Paul, MN	try your best not to ask. make sure relevant individuals have been tested for STDs...and try to leave it at that. That said, if you have to ask...the answer may already be: "too many." If your partner's sexual history bothers you...they can't change it. Talk about it if it is an issue, but try to leave numbers and numbers out of the question.

08-22-2003, 07:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
cheerios Banned Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac	how many sexual partners previous to the current one, he means. the whole Clerks question of "how many other cocks have you sucked?"

08-22-2003, 09:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
Trilidon Tilted	it matters ;P

08-22-2003, 09:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	i think its important to know, share and discuss eachother's past experiences but you shouldn't hold number counts against them. it's a good way for getting a feel of how your partner is though.. and their patterns. i'd be a little cautious if i knew my partner had a history for cheating, for example. it's not about how many partners they've had, but how they handle relationships. and that's always good to know :P __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

08-23-2003, 12:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
El Conquistador Upright	The numbers don't bother me, as long as they weren't entirely one night stands.

08-23-2003, 01:31 AM	#12 (permalink)
Nizzle God-Hating Liberal Location: Silicon Valley, CA	I'm a firm believer that prior dating history should be left unspoken. Communication is important, but talking about past sexual partners has no intrinsic value. The only reason your partner could possibly be interested in this subjects is out of morbid curiosity and ultimately jeleousy. What does it matter? A relationship begins when two people make a connection. Technicalities such as how many people you have slept with don't have any real meaning. __________________ Nizzle

08-23-2003, 09:33 AM	#13 (permalink)
analog Banned	I don't think it should matter, and left unsaid if possible. I mean, if I sleep with 1 girl and get 5 diseases, that's a MILLION times worse than sleeping with 20 clean girls. As long as you're clean, I don't think the past should matter at all.

08-23-2003, 02:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
fallen_angel Psycho Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth	hmm to me it doesnt matter because yes it is in the past. Lifes to short to keep count of everything. to me the number doesnt matter as long as each one you had some kind of attachment to that person at the time __________________ from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

08-24-2003, 06:22 AM	#15 (permalink)
soxsfans Junkie	The only real answer should be, "no others since you".

08-24-2003, 02:33 PM	#16 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	As long as I'm the only one now, the past does not matter. What does matter is taking the time to make sure that both parties are healthy. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

08-24-2003, 03:19 PM	#17 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	As long as you keep yourself clean, use protection, and not make a big deal out of it... it really doesn't matter. I've been with far more then my fair share of girls and it's never been a big issue with anyone. I'm always honest and let the girl know I'm clean and very well taken care of. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

08-24-2003, 11:15 PM	#18 (permalink)
aintyoboyfriend Insane Location: Arlington, VA	I agree with most everything said here so far. There is no such thing as too many, as long as you haven't cheated on your current. It certainly is best to avoid an actual number if at all possible, because even if you say two including you, that is going to be to many.

08-25-2003, 01:48 PM	#20 (permalink)
hobo Archangel of Change	Any number is good as long as you don't have any STDs.

08-29-2003, 03:29 PM	#21 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	It all comes down to this.... If you're just inquisitive, then fine: ask away. However, you don't get the right to judge the person you asked. They were honest enough and open enough with you to answer, so you need to be accepting and get on with your relationship. If you find that you cannot do so, you really need to stop asking these sorts of questions of future partners - I say "future" because you probably won't be able to survive this one if you can't get over it. Anti-fishstick and the rest have a valid point. It's all in the past. What's truly important is that the person you're with is with you and ONLY you - and so long as you're keeping that in mind, you'll do just fine.