Need Advice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

wesf · 08-22-2003, 01:19 AM

ok I have this problem and I just wanted some advice from everyone before I decide what to do; its kind of long but heres the story: I met this girl through one of my friends and initially when we first started talking she liked me but I didn't look at her like that. As time passed we became closer and closer and became best friends but I started feeling something more for her. I've known her for over a year now and I asked her out months ago (around 3 to 6 I would guess) and she said no because she didnt want a relationship. Well one day she found out that she had to move and she told me that she regretted not going out with me when she had the chance. A few weeks passed and she told me that she was in love with me and it was more of a friend love but there was something more there. Now back to the present: it ends up that she doesn't have to move now and she will continue living here. When she was moving it made me realize how much I care about her and that I can't imagine her not being in my life. I'm completely in love with this girl but I don't know how to show or tell her and I don't know if I should ask her out or what?? If anything isn't clear just ask but I really want a relationship with this girl. I think that we have something special and that we could have something real but how do I go about doing this?

Fallon · 08-22-2003, 04:31 AM

Easy, talk with her. First thing you might want to do though is to think through your thoughts. Make sure that it wasn't just she's leaving and I don't want her to leave. Which from what you said I don't think it is. When you get that all figured out, start up a conversation with her and say, "When you were leaving, I realized my feelings for you. (Insert one of your favorite asking out questions)" You might want to go into detail on what you felt or something along those lines.

soxsfans · 08-22-2003, 04:32 AM

Gotta ask her out again.

You don't want to go the rest of your life wondering "what if".

onetime2 · 08-22-2003, 04:54 AM

Ask her out and see what happens. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out. Best case, it does. Go for it.

absorbentishe · 08-22-2003, 05:08 AM

I really wish I would have asked her out, but I didn't, and now she's gone forever.

You don't want to sound like that in 5 years do you??? The only way to find out is to go for it! What's the worst that could happen, you both find out that you are "right" for each other, and get married several years later.

johnnymysto · 08-22-2003, 05:19 AM

Take life by the balls, man. I've had way too many "what if" girls in my life. Leaves you wondering forever.

JBX · 08-22-2003, 05:26 AM

Tell her to join TFP and read the Forum, Tilted Forum Project > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality > Need Advice

jbrooks544 · 08-22-2003, 06:01 AM

Tell her ..."I can't imagine her not being in my life. I'm completely in love with this girl"... which is lifted directly from your post.

How old are you? Have you had any/many long term relationships? This sounds like how I felt before I proposed to my wife - she went away for a few months and I realized that I didn't want to live the rest of my life without her. We had been going out for 6 months and had sexed it up etc. If she goes out with you and the sex is good and you still feel the same way in 8 months maybe you will marry her. Or, you could fail to try to make the best of it now and regret it the rest of your life.

What is "going out"? Do you mean a date? I think you need to invite her on a weekend to the mountains or beach, etc. and stay in the same motel room and get drunk and let nature take its course.

Averett · 08-22-2003, 06:01 AM

for the love of god TALK TO HER!!!

I just found out that a good friend of mine liked me last summer (maybe still does, its a bit fuzzy...). And of course, I liked him as well. But he never said anything. Neither did I, because I never thought he would like me. He admited this to me a few weeks back. But of course he's seeing somebody now.

I'm kicking myself for not speaking up,and I want to kick him as well for not saying anything to me

Since you're good friends, it'll be okay. Even if she isnt interested, you'll come through it okay. Best of luck

wesf · 08-22-2003, 10:09 AM

thanks a lot for the advice everybody I felt this is what I should do but I just wanted some extra advice

ill talk to her about it today

Ryan · 08-22-2003, 10:22 AM

I see I am a little late judging by your response, However I can only echo what has already been said TALK TO HER, communication is key and you can express your feelings to her similar to the ways you shared them with us in this board I can onyl see good things coming..

Best of luck to you man, and lets us know what happens...

EleqTrizi'T · 08-22-2003, 02:57 PM

wait wait she told you she loved you and yet you're afraid to ask her out? Come on bro!

wiseguy1100 · 08-23-2003, 11:54 AM

i too would definitely encourage talking to her - esp since she expressed interst in you as well.

please let us know how you talk went!

juanvaldes · 08-23-2003, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by onetime2
Ask her out and see what happens. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out. Best case, it does. Go for it.

analog · 08-25-2003, 03:06 AM

She told you she loved you, she's signalling you in! You have a pass, you've got the permission-slip signed and notarized, just ask her out!!

wesf · 08-26-2003, 01:35 PM

Hey guys I just wanted to give everyone an update on whats going on. We've both been real busy and I didn't get a chacne to talk to her until today so that's why it took so long. Anyways she has a ton of hw from school this year and she doesn't really have any free time but we talked about us and we both love each other completely and we both think that we have something special but she wants to wait until she has time to do stuff besides school before we get into a really serious relationship and I understand that so we're going to wait until next year when shes done or until she doesn't have as much work to do. I want to thank everyone here for all the responses and I just want everyone to know that you'll go through many relationships in life some serious and some not and they wont all end the way you want them to but if you're patient you'll eventually find that special someone like I have. Just keep your faith and keep an eye open.

08-22-2003, 01:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
wesf Upright	Need Advice ok I have this problem and I just wanted some advice from everyone before I decide what to do; its kind of long but heres the story: I met this girl through one of my friends and initially when we first started talking she liked me but I didn't look at her like that. As time passed we became closer and closer and became best friends but I started feeling something more for her. I've known her for over a year now and I asked her out months ago (around 3 to 6 I would guess) and she said no because she didnt want a relationship. Well one day she found out that she had to move and she told me that she regretted not going out with me when she had the chance. A few weeks passed and she told me that she was in love with me and it was more of a friend love but there was something more there. Now back to the present: it ends up that she doesn't have to move now and she will continue living here. When she was moving it made me realize how much I care about her and that I can't imagine her not being in my life. I'm completely in love with this girl but I don't know how to show or tell her and I don't know if I should ask her out or what?? If anything isn't clear just ask but I really want a relationship with this girl. I think that we have something special and that we could have something real but how do I go about doing this?

08-22-2003, 04:54 AM	#4 (permalink)
onetime2 Junkie Location: NJ	Ask her out and see what happens. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out. Best case, it does. Go for it. __________________ Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

08-22-2003, 05:19 AM	#6 (permalink)
johnnymysto Overreactor Location: South Ca'lina	Take life by the balls, man. I've had way too many "what if" girls in my life. Leaves you wondering forever. __________________ "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

08-22-2003, 05:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
JBX Unfair and Imbalanced Location: Upstate, NY	Tell her to join TFP and read the Forum, Tilted Forum Project > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality > Need Advice __________________ "Youth and Strength is no match for Age and Treachery"

08-22-2003, 06:01 AM	#9 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	for the love of god TALK TO HER!!! I just found out that a good friend of mine liked me last summer (maybe still does, its a bit fuzzy...). And of course, I liked him as well. But he never said anything. Neither did I, because I never thought he would like me. He admited this to me a few weeks back. But of course he's seeing somebody now. I'm kicking myself for not speaking up,and I want to kick him as well for not saying anything to me Since you're good friends, it'll be okay. Even if she isnt interested, you'll come through it okay. Best of luck __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

08-22-2003, 04:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
Fallon Junkie Location: RI	Easy, talk with her. First thing you might want to do though is to think through your thoughts. Make sure that it wasn't just she's leaving and I don't want her to leave. Which from what you said I don't think it is. When you get that all figured out, start up a conversation with her and say, "When you were leaving, I realized my feelings for you. (Insert one of your favorite asking out questions)" You might want to go into detail on what you felt or something along those lines.

08-22-2003, 04:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
soxsfans Junkie	Gotta ask her out again. You don't want to go the rest of your life wondering "what if".

08-22-2003, 05:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	I really wish I would have asked her out, but I didn't, and now she's gone forever. You don't want to sound like that in 5 years do you??? The only way to find out is to go for it! What's the worst that could happen, you both find out that you are "right" for each other, and get married several years later.

08-22-2003, 06:01 AM	#8 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	Tell her ..."I can't imagine her not being in my life. I'm completely in love with this girl"... which is lifted directly from your post. How old are you? Have you had any/many long term relationships? This sounds like how I felt before I proposed to my wife - she went away for a few months and I realized that I didn't want to live the rest of my life without her. We had been going out for 6 months and had sexed it up etc. If she goes out with you and the sex is good and you still feel the same way in 8 months maybe you will marry her. Or, you could fail to try to make the best of it now and regret it the rest of your life. What is "going out"? Do you mean a date? I think you need to invite her on a weekend to the mountains or beach, etc. and stay in the same motel room and get drunk and let nature take its course.

08-22-2003, 10:09 AM	#10 (permalink)
wesf Upright	thanks a lot for the advice everybody I felt this is what I should do but I just wanted some extra advice ill talk to her about it today

08-22-2003, 10:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
Ryan Crazy	I see I am a little late judging by your response, However I can only echo what has already been said TALK TO HER, communication is key and you can express your feelings to her similar to the ways you shared them with us in this board I can onyl see good things coming.. Best of luck to you man, and lets us know what happens...

08-22-2003, 02:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
EleqTrizi'T Insane	wait wait she told you she loved you and yet you're afraid to ask her out? Come on bro!

08-23-2003, 11:54 AM	#13 (permalink)
wiseguy1100 Crazy Location: IA	i too would definitely encourage talking to her - esp since she expressed interst in you as well. please let us know how you talk went!

08-25-2003, 03:06 AM	#15 (permalink)
analog Banned	She told you she loved you, she's signalling you in! You have a pass, you've got the permission-slip signed and notarized, just ask her out!!

08-26-2003, 01:35 PM	#16 (permalink)
wesf Upright	Hey guys I just wanted to give everyone an update on whats going on. We've both been real busy and I didn't get a chacne to talk to her until today so that's why it took so long. Anyways she has a ton of hw from school this year and she doesn't really have any free time but we talked about us and we both love each other completely and we both think that we have something special but she wants to wait until she has time to do stuff besides school before we get into a really serious relationship and I understand that so we're going to wait until next year when shes done or until she doesn't have as much work to do. I want to thank everyone here for all the responses and I just want everyone to know that you'll go through many relationships in life some serious and some not and they wont all end the way you want them to but if you're patient you'll eventually find that special someone like I have. Just keep your faith and keep an eye open.