Once again.. pursuing a friend.. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sluggin · 04-21-2003, 09:39 PM

Okay, this may not be the best place to come to but I'm exhausting all the options I want to use right now, plus I was inspired by the endless criticism on the last similar thread, so..

Basically my best friend (or one of them as far as women go) and I have been at odds recently. By recently I mean the past month. We hang out a lot and she calls me more than most girls I know, she claims more than 3 times a day, but everytime we do something she ends up being mad at me. She's told me she is frustrated with me. She was getting pissed at one of her best friends and I anytime we would talk or hug or anything and would talk to me and refer to her as my girlfriend even though it's clearly obvious to anyone that isn't true.. She always brings up relationships when we're together and has talked about how I should be a model, quotes like "Yum" come to mind.. (not sure how to read it other than flattering..)

Everyone has thought we were dating by how she would talk about me, and she has apparently told her family everything about me. She tells me daily about how she loves me and I know she's cried multiple times when I've been an asshole. I'm trying to think of anything else you may need to know but can't remember it right now, maybe I'll update more later..

Normally, I would have pursued this girl a long time ago, but as I said, she is like my best friend and I'm a pussy and I don't want to wreck THAT part of it, although I would like to bring it further. Beyond that, she throws me curveballs every now and then.. is it worth the risk right now, or should I say fuck it, and enjoy her friendship?

Moe. · 04-21-2003, 10:00 PM

Its fustrating eh?

I cant really think of a definitive answer (dont think their is one, unless I knew the two of you well), but I believe telling her that you feel both of you are insanely close. Your not saying 'hey I like you' but your letting her know that you recognise their is something fairly strong between you.

Also a girl is VERY hard to read and understand, and dont take those curveballs that make you feel 'damn she dosent like me' seriously, because in a weeks time I bet youll feel incredibly close again!

Be patient!

SecretMethod70 · 04-21-2003, 10:04 PM

You need to TALK to her about this. The only way you're going to get anywhere is being open with her. Tell her that you're getting the impression that she's looking for a relationship with you and tell her your concerns with it.

JimmyTheHutt · 04-21-2003, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretMethod70
You need to TALK to her about this. The only way you're going to get anywhere is being open with her. Tell her that you're getting the impression that she's looking for a relationship with you and tell her your concerns with it.

I could not say it any better. There is so much that can be resolved with a willingness to engage in direct, forthright conversation. Don't mince words, but don't be an ass about it. Just lay out what you see in terms that are as emotionally neutral as you can muster. Good luck getting it resolved!

Veritas en Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt

madsenj37 · 04-22-2003, 01:06 AM

The only two people who can answer you question are you and her. The real question is are you ready for that answer?

Spidey · 04-22-2003, 06:08 AM

Talking is the best thing to do here. It may be fucken hard but its the only way you'll get some answers.

gibber71 · 04-22-2003, 01:18 PM

Jump in with both feet and take it further if that's what you both want.If it works out, great,you'll be even better friends.If it doesn't work out,and you lose the friendship,so be it.Anytime a friendship is ruined by a relationship it is because one or both people are not mature enough to be in a relationship.

MilleniumZeus · 04-22-2003, 05:54 PM

There's nothing better than being in a relationship with your best friend. She wants a committment from you. It appears that way based on your post. She is mad at you about hanging with her other best friends because she wants you. Don't be afraid. If you don't commit to something in time she will leave out of frustration and you will always be wondering if it have ver worked. If you have someone who cares about you this much, please don't let her go. I can guarantee that if you commit and stick with her and show her that you love her. She will not be jealous of your other frinedships with others and she will give you the space you need. You will find that women are less pissy and bitchy if they feel secure in a relationship. If she feels good about the relationship, she will feel good about you and being together. The intimacy part will atke care of itself. If you don't try something, she will eventually move on. Women are slaves to their own emotions. Emotions and feelings are everything. Tap into that and I can almost guarantee intimacy and love-making. Don't chicken out, she may be your soulmate and you will never know unless you commit to something. Good Luck.

bigoldalphamale · 04-24-2003, 10:16 AM

can you fart around her? PIVOTAL!!!!

illuminati · 04-26-2003, 11:58 PM

Wow...I had the same sort of situation a few weeks ago...and I think I passed up on it out of fear...

Don't make my mistake.

Go for it..

(damn...my best chick friend is a total asian hottie too)

Scorpio · 04-27-2003, 12:59 AM

Man the most important thing is to talk to her about this. It can't be avoided, if you try things will most likely get awkward and you sure don't want that. If she is as good a friend as you say she should understand. If she doesn’t don't get down on yourself because you did what was right and that’s all that matters.

04-21-2003, 09:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sluggin Upright	Once again.. pursuing a friend.. Okay, this may not be the best place to come to but I'm exhausting all the options I want to use right now, plus I was inspired by the endless criticism on the last similar thread, so.. Basically my best friend (or one of them as far as women go) and I have been at odds recently. By recently I mean the past month. We hang out a lot and she calls me more than most girls I know, she claims more than 3 times a day, but everytime we do something she ends up being mad at me. She's told me she is frustrated with me. She was getting pissed at one of her best friends and I anytime we would talk or hug or anything and would talk to me and refer to her as my girlfriend even though it's clearly obvious to anyone that isn't true.. She always brings up relationships when we're together and has talked about how I should be a model, quotes like "Yum" come to mind.. (not sure how to read it other than flattering..) Everyone has thought we were dating by how she would talk about me, and she has apparently told her family everything about me. She tells me daily about how she loves me and I know she's cried multiple times when I've been an asshole. I'm trying to think of anything else you may need to know but can't remember it right now, maybe I'll update more later.. Normally, I would have pursued this girl a long time ago, but as I said, she is like my best friend and I'm a pussy and I don't want to wreck THAT part of it, although I would like to bring it further. Beyond that, she throws me curveballs every now and then.. is it worth the risk right now, or should I say fuck it, and enjoy her friendship?

04-21-2003, 10:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	You need to TALK to her about this. The only way you're going to get anywhere is being open with her. Tell her that you're getting the impression that she's looking for a relationship with you and tell her your concerns with it. __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

04-22-2003, 01:06 AM	#5 (permalink)
madsenj37 Still searching... Location: NorCal For Life	The only two people who can answer you question are you and her. The real question is are you ready for that answer? __________________ "Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe." -- Albert Einstein

04-22-2003, 05:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
MilleniumZeus Crazy Location: Northern Virginia	There's nothing better than being in a relationship with your best friend. She wants a committment from you. It appears that way based on your post. She is mad at you about hanging with her other best friends because she wants you. Don't be afraid. If you don't commit to something in time she will leave out of frustration and you will always be wondering if it have ver worked. If you have someone who cares about you this much, please don't let her go. I can guarantee that if you commit and stick with her and show her that you love her. She will not be jealous of your other frinedships with others and she will give you the space you need. You will find that women are less pissy and bitchy if they feel secure in a relationship. If she feels good about the relationship, she will feel good about you and being together. The intimacy part will atke care of itself. If you don't try something, she will eventually move on. Women are slaves to their own emotions. Emotions and feelings are everything. Tap into that and I can almost guarantee intimacy and love-making. Don't chicken out, she may be your soulmate and you will never know unless you commit to something. Good Luck. __________________ ZEUS IS IN THE HOUSE!!!

04-21-2003, 10:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Moe. Upright Location: NZ	Its fustrating eh? I cant really think of a definitive answer (dont think their is one, unless I knew the two of you well), but I believe telling her that you feel both of you are insanely close. Your not saying 'hey I like you' but your letting her know that you recognise their is something fairly strong between you. Also a girl is VERY hard to read and understand, and dont take those curveballs that make you feel 'damn she dosent like me' seriously, because in a weeks time I bet youll feel incredibly close again! Be patient!

04-22-2003, 06:08 AM	#6 (permalink)
Spidey Crazy Location: Wellington, New Zealand	Talking is the best thing to do here. It may be fucken hard but its the only way you'll get some answers.

04-22-2003, 01:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
gibber71 Loser	Jump in with both feet and take it further if that's what you both want.If it works out, great,you'll be even better friends.If it doesn't work out,and you lose the friendship,so be it.Anytime a friendship is ruined by a relationship it is because one or both people are not mature enough to be in a relationship.

04-24-2003, 10:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
bigoldalphamale Loser	can you fart around her? PIVOTAL!!!!

04-26-2003, 11:58 PM	#10 (permalink)
illuminati Upright	Wow...I had the same sort of situation a few weeks ago...and I think I passed up on it out of fear... Don't make my mistake. Go for it.. (damn...my best chick friend is a total asian hottie too)

04-27-2003, 12:59 AM	#11 (permalink)
Scorpio Registered User Location: Earth	Man the most important thing is to talk to her about this. It can't be avoided, if you try things will most likely get awkward and you sure don't want that. If she is as good a friend as you say she should understand. If she doesn’t don't get down on yourself because you did what was right and that’s all that matters.