Plan9

Aaah, TFP... you know how I know I'm unemployed? I'm inebriated at 1430 on a friggin' Tuesday.

Anyway, I got to thinking about how awesome blowjobs are... mmm... and how I'd like to be getting one right now. Then I thought about blueberry waffles for a minute. Then I thought about my blowjob history... and how certain partners would basically just whoa-damn ambush me with armrest-breaking fellatio and yet others would use such a delicious toe-curling treat as a mere lubricant-slathering prelude to intercourse.

The title, of course, comes from a line one of my old girlfriends dropped on me back in the day. Needless to say, after said flesh-slurping activity I wasn't going anywhere except into a post-orgasm man-coma. So... my mediocre submission (sure to be largely ignored) for this month will be:

Ladies, do you engage in random acts of oral sex or is it merely part of the carnal sheathing routine? Gentlemen, what are your experiences?

Stories, people, I need stories. I need "oh, damn!" and "yeah, boy!" and all that jazz, m'kay?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

uncle phil

wanna see perfection?

hang with this vid for the first few minutes then pull out your towel...

YouPorn.com Lite (BETA) - Porn

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

noodle

I enjoy the Ambush Technique when distracting my gentleman geek from his video game or when he's really stressed out. But the slow, deliberate tease also works any time. I just like to give them. Especially when he's really stressed out or if I am

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FelixP

Why not? I'm on a 96, and I would be too if I was 21.

Anyway, my experience is that it's mostly a means of getting the condom on, but I had this one girl who wasn't really into fallatio until I put her on her knees. Kinky girls are fun.

__________________
Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

"I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur

Craven Morehead

I wouldn't have last half the time he did. wow

BTW - I love road trip hummers. Nothing like driving on an Interstate and getting knobbed.

levite

I had an ex who gave blowjobs so intense my eyes felt like they were popping out of my sockets when I came. She was a fuckin' artist, never missed a trick. She had this amazing way of working the nuts while she sucked; she'd also lick and suck at the same time in this way I never found anyone else could do-- hard to describe but incredible to feel; and she somehow knew just when to stick a finger in my ass right when I was just beginning to come. All of that going at the same time was Un. Real. Orgasms like a really happy taser jolt.

She was a sensational fuck all around, but those BJs were mind-exploding....

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

snowy

I like both. Not too long ago, I was laying across the bed reading a book when my SO came in to see what I was up to. I set the book aside, grabbed his hips, and started nuzzling his crotch. I could go on.

Surprise BJs keep him on his toes.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

healer

I don't get ambushed very often...I think she's afraid she's going to spoil me.

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vicdaman

unfortunatey my current girlfriend isn't into giving bjs

but my last girlfriend was a big fan of the surprise bj and all around liked giving me head. and of course i would give her head a lot as well. so it became a competition with us to see who could pleasure each other more. we'd go back and forth on each other. i tried really hard but i often lost.

Idyllic

Yes, Yes, and Yes!!! I would embarrass myself to go much further here..... let's just say, I've greatly enjoyed my part in all sexual expression, including my lack of gag reflex, though lately the body just doesn't want to join the fun, so I'm kinda blue, and my husband probably feels the same way, blue that is, how sad. Maybe I should revisit these attacks upon him.... hmmmmm, mer.

Plan9 I loved you intro to this thread, awesome read.

__________________
you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does

p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes.

Baraka_Guru

This thread is maddening: if you get a blowjob, you don't need to go anywhere.

It should be called "You're Not Going Anywhere Anymore Because of This Blowjob."

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

But that's what she said before she face-pounced my crotch.

...

Dude, I'll give you her number and you can debate this with her.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

I happen to be a vigorous master debater.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Shauk

I got head while DJ'ing once, she was deliberately trying to get me to trainwreck. She did it because I was just saying how I'm so mentally focused on what I'm doing when I'm up there that I literally break a sweat from the increase of mental activity. I sweat harder than ever that time Apparently people are addicted to my pheromones

also, yay bj videos.

http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=91989


well, partial

vicdaman

well if we're doing videos,

Nice blowjob - RedTube - Free Porn Videos

Plan9

Hey, thanks everybody for turning a discussion thread into a porn dump.

*palmface*

Where the hell are you guys with the videos when I'm hatin' on white people?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

9er, this thread title is also the title of my favourite porn series.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

snowy

I am now inspired to write a naughty story with this line in it somewhere.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Iliftrocks

For some reason this is depressing me.

__________________
bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

raging moderate

Getting a BJ while playing video games is the ultimate nerd-gasm in and of itself. Even if I never came off of the gamer-hummer, it would be oh-so worth it in every way.

as far as surprise hummers go, the wake-up cock lick is easily my favorite. let me continue my sex dream while you blow me and oh-my-god we all win in the end.

__________________

These are the good old days...



formerly Murp0434

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.