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Old 07-07-2003, 11:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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How do you go from a friendship to a love/sexual relationship?

I'm friends with this girl , we're very good friends, but i want more , because i like her a lot. She use to like me, but at that time, she had a boyfriend, and didn't want to dump him. Now she is single, but is more of a best-friend to me, but I still have feelings for her. I try to just forget about her and act rude to her so i can push her away ,but i find myself always comming back ....

i havent told her i like her .. again, she knows that i use to like her, when she use to like me...but now she doesnt know, maybe she suspects it , but im not sure..

what is a guy to do ?
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Denmark.
The best thing is always to come clean about it.
Tell her, it might not be the easiest thing to do, but i say you ought to go for it, otherwise you'll end up thinking to your self 'what if?'
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Denver City Denver
I think the best way to take a friendship to a sexual relationship is to have sex with the other person.


Just ask... be honest. If it means that much to you then you owe it to yourself to try.
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Old 07-07-2003, 12:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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it depends on how much you like her to be a friend...do you want to risk destroying the friendship over some feelings? If you value her friendship greatly I would say keep quiet about it and get over it alone...I'm serious. I ruined a good friendship this way once and I will not do it again.
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Old 07-08-2003, 07:07 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
Holo has the best advice. My best friend from elementary school, junior high school, and high school is a lovely girl who is still my best friend. We graduated from high school 25 years ago, but we are still just as close as people can be without a sex act. I don't know what I would have done a lot of times without her, and I know it would have screwed up everything if we'd become lovers.
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Old 07-08-2003, 08:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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my girlfriend and I were friends for about 4 years before we started dating. We're still best buddies to this day, but we recognize that we love each other deeply, and even if we broke up we would still be friends. Friendship doesnt have to stop once you start dating, but it often does because people put too much thought into what could happen. If she is really a great friend.. then roll with it until you feel comfortable and confident enough to tell her that you like her in a more than platonic way. You might change your mind later and figure out that it's not really worth it. Truth be told.. Peutetre and I didnt have any sexual contact for over the first year that we dated because we were friends so long and it was "weird".. but I never once stopped being her friend because i was frustrated or upset. If you can pull off that kind of commitment and be prepared for worse then Good Luck! If you can't "wait" like some other guys.. then forget about the relationship aspect and perhaps you need to re-evaluate your friendship..
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Old 07-08-2003, 10:27 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto
Take a good look into her eyes, with emotion.

If you guys kiss, then you are on the first base at least. If she looks away, well, just ride the pine and watch other players play.
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Old 07-08-2003, 12:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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be careful

be careful because this is a one way street. You might find out that you would really rather just be friends. You cant go back though
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Old 07-08-2003, 04:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
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www.intellectualwhores.com go read up on the ladder theory.
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Old 07-08-2003, 04:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: West Lafayette, IN
I just got out of a three year relationship with my best friend. We are no longer speaking, so I am questioning rather it was worth it. We made the promise to be friends after, but it doesn't really work out that way.

If you seriously think it's worth it, go for it though.
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Old 07-08-2003, 07:45 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Since im in high school, i had an easier time with this, but with my current girlfriend, we were friends first. It just sort of developed- but for months she knew i liked her. I never really had to say anything, cause often i wasnt sure enough myself- it just sort of developed between us.

I dont know if this will help you, its just an example.
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Old 07-08-2003, 08:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: An Aussie Outback
If you ask and she says no.. you're goin to be distraught.. it happens.. a couple I know have been best friends since they were little, they're married and a blast to be around cause they're so comfortable with each other.. hehe..

Just tell her and be prepared.. Never know she might be hiding something too.. and then again.. might not

Hope it works out for you
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Old 07-08-2003, 08:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
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thanks for the advice, i think ill tell her tomorrow how i feel about her .. ill let u guys know !
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:34 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Belgium
*keeps fingers crossed*
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:42 AM   #15 (permalink)
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break a leg!
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Old 07-09-2003, 03:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: North Carolina
Go for it. If it doesn't work out, you can always go back to being friends, unless you are super creepy or something.
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Old 07-09-2003, 07:12 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: West Lafayette, IN
oh the suspense!
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Old 07-10-2003, 07:53 AM   #18 (permalink)
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More power to you Dude. Make it happen. Everybody tune in tomorrow for another intriguing episode of " The Bachelor: TFP Edition-Love by Consensus"
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Old 07-10-2003, 01:14 PM   #19 (permalink)
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lol... she isnt i-ming me .. ill tell her when she i-ms me ..

i ignored one of her calls.. so shes ignoring me now.. she always i-ms me .. so im still waiting.. im not gonna i-m her though ..
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Old 07-10-2003, 01:47 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Ecosse.
Yeah, one of my best friend's i went ouf with a while ago. It wasn't a comfortable relationship, but i was her first kiss. We decided to split since we'd much rather see other people.
It sounds sad.. but now, we still go places with each other, and practically every single party we go to, she's the only person i'll fool around with, and vice versa. She's got a boyfriend, so i feel kinda guilty, but she says it's never been good with him.

So if it all goes wrong, there's still hope.. sexually.
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