How do you go from a friendship to a love/sexual relationship? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

shelbel1 · 07-07-2003, 11:06 AM

I'm friends with this girl , we're very good friends, but i want more , because i like her a lot. She use to like me, but at that time, she had a boyfriend, and didn't want to dump him. Now she is single, but is more of a best-friend to me, but I still have feelings for her. I try to just forget about her and act rude to her so i can push her away ,but i find myself always comming back ....

i havent told her i like her .. again, she knows that i use to like her, when she use to like me...but now she doesnt know, maybe she suspects it , but im not sure..

what is a guy to do ?

-Anders · 07-07-2003, 11:21 AM

The best thing is always to come clean about it.
Tell her, it might not be the easiest thing to do, but i say you ought to go for it, otherwise you'll end up thinking to your self 'what if?'

World's King · 07-07-2003, 11:30 AM

I think the best way to take a friendship to a sexual relationship is to have sex with the other person.

Just ask... be honest. If it means that much to you then you owe it to yourself to try.

Holo · 07-07-2003, 12:02 PM

it depends on how much you like her to be a friend...do you want to risk destroying the friendship over some feelings? If you value her friendship greatly I would say keep quiet about it and get over it alone...I'm serious. I ruined a good friendship this way once and I will not do it again.

warrrreagl · 07-08-2003, 07:07 AM

Holo has the best advice. My best friend from elementary school, junior high school, and high school is a lovely girl who is still my best friend. We graduated from high school 25 years ago, but we are still just as close as people can be without a sex act. I don't know what I would have done a lot of times without her, and I know it would have screwed up everything if we'd become lovers.

Ganguro · 07-08-2003, 08:14 AM

my girlfriend and I were friends for about 4 years before we started dating. We're still best buddies to this day, but we recognize that we love each other deeply, and even if we broke up we would still be friends. Friendship doesnt have to stop once you start dating, but it often does because people put too much thought into what could happen. If she is really a great friend.. then roll with it until you feel comfortable and confident enough to tell her that you like her in a more than platonic way. You might change your mind later and figure out that it's not really worth it. Truth be told.. Peutetre and I didnt have any sexual contact for over the first year that we dated because we were friends so long and it was "weird".. but I never once stopped being her friend because i was frustrated or upset. If you can pull off that kind of commitment and be prepared for worse then Good Luck! If you can't "wait" like some other guys.. then forget about the relationship aspect and perhaps you need to re-evaluate your friendship..

Nova_Dust · 07-08-2003, 10:27 AM

Take a good look into her eyes, with emotion.

If you guys kiss, then you are on the first base at least. If she looks away, well, just ride the pine and watch other players play.

mbolding · 07-08-2003, 12:05 PM

be careful because this is a one way street. You might find out that you would really rather just be friends. You cant go back though

bermuDa · 07-08-2003, 04:27 PM

www.intellectualwhores.com go read up on the ladder theory.

tikki · 07-08-2003, 04:44 PM

I just got out of a three year relationship with my best friend. We are no longer speaking, so I am questioning rather it was worth it. We made the promise to be friends after, but it doesn't really work out that way.

If you seriously think it's worth it, go for it though.

n1ck31 · 07-08-2003, 07:45 PM

Since im in high school, i had an easier time with this, but with my current girlfriend, we were friends first. It just sort of developed- but for months she knew i liked her. I never really had to say anything, cause often i wasnt sure enough myself- it just sort of developed between us.

I dont know if this will help you, its just an example.

GoldenOuroboros · 07-08-2003, 08:19 PM

If you ask and she says no.. you're goin to be distraught.. it happens.. a couple I know have been best friends since they were little, they're married and a blast to be around cause they're so comfortable with each other.. hehe..

Just tell her and be prepared.. Never know she might be hiding something too.. and then again.. might not

Hope it works out for you

shelbel1 · 07-08-2003, 08:49 PM

thanks for the advice, i think ill tell her tomorrow how i feel about her .. ill let u guys know !

Nisses · 07-09-2003, 10:34 AM

*keeps fingers crossed*

Sparhawk · 07-09-2003, 10:42 AM

break a leg!

Slims · 07-09-2003, 03:43 PM

Go for it. If it doesn't work out, you can always go back to being friends, unless you are super creepy or something.

tikki · 07-09-2003, 07:12 PM

oh the suspense!

Nowlookit · 07-10-2003, 07:53 AM

More power to you Dude. Make it happen. Everybody tune in tomorrow for another intriguing episode of " The Bachelor: TFP Edition-Love by Consensus"

shelbel1 · 07-10-2003, 01:14 PM

lol... she isnt i-ming me .. ill tell her when she i-ms me ..

i ignored one of her calls.. so shes ignoring me now.. she always i-ms me .. so im still waiting.. im not gonna i-m her though ..

Kush · 07-10-2003, 01:47 PM

Yeah, one of my best friend's i went ouf with a while ago. It wasn't a comfortable relationship, but i was her first kiss. We decided to split since we'd much rather see other people.
It sounds sad.. but now, we still go places with each other, and practically every single party we go to, she's the only person i'll fool around with, and vice versa. She's got a boyfriend, so i feel kinda guilty, but she says it's never been good with him.

So if it all goes wrong, there's still hope.. sexually.

07-07-2003, 11:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
shelbel1 Upright	How do you go from a friendship to a love/sexual relationship? I'm friends with this girl , we're very good friends, but i want more , because i like her a lot. She use to like me, but at that time, she had a boyfriend, and didn't want to dump him. Now she is single, but is more of a best-friend to me, but I still have feelings for her. I try to just forget about her and act rude to her so i can push her away ,but i find myself always comming back .... i havent told her i like her .. again, she knows that i use to like her, when she use to like me...but now she doesnt know, maybe she suspects it , but im not sure.. what is a guy to do ?

07-07-2003, 11:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
-Anders Custom title. Location: Denmark.	The best thing is always to come clean about it. Tell her, it might not be the easiest thing to do, but i say you ought to go for it, otherwise you'll end up thinking to your self 'what if?' __________________ Signature 101

07-07-2003, 11:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	I think the best way to take a friendship to a sexual relationship is to have sex with the other person. Just ask... be honest. If it means that much to you then you owe it to yourself to try. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

07-07-2003, 12:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
Holo A Real American	it depends on how much you like her to be a friend...do you want to risk destroying the friendship over some feelings? If you value her friendship greatly I would say keep quiet about it and get over it alone...I'm serious. I ruined a good friendship this way once and I will not do it again. __________________ I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

07-08-2003, 07:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
warrrreagl pinche vato Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton	Holo has the best advice. My best friend from elementary school, junior high school, and high school is a lovely girl who is still my best friend. We graduated from high school 25 years ago, but we are still just as close as people can be without a sex act. I don't know what I would have done a lot of times without her, and I know it would have screwed up everything if we'd become lovers. __________________ Living is easy with eyes closed.

07-08-2003, 08:14 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ganguro Army of Me	my girlfriend and I were friends for about 4 years before we started dating. We're still best buddies to this day, but we recognize that we love each other deeply, and even if we broke up we would still be friends. Friendship doesnt have to stop once you start dating, but it often does because people put too much thought into what could happen. If she is really a great friend.. then roll with it until you feel comfortable and confident enough to tell her that you like her in a more than platonic way. You might change your mind later and figure out that it's not really worth it. Truth be told.. Peutetre and I didnt have any sexual contact for over the first year that we dated because we were friends so long and it was "weird".. but I never once stopped being her friend because i was frustrated or upset. If you can pull off that kind of commitment and be prepared for worse then Good Luck! If you can't "wait" like some other guys.. then forget about the relationship aspect and perhaps you need to re-evaluate your friendship..

07-08-2003, 10:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
Nova_Dust Upright Location: Toronto	Take a good look into her eyes, with emotion. If you guys kiss, then you are on the first base at least. If she looks away, well, just ride the pine and watch other players play.

07-08-2003, 12:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
mbolding Upright	be careful be careful because this is a one way street. You might find out that you would really rather just be friends. You cant go back though

07-08-2003, 04:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	www.intellectualwhores.com go read up on the ladder theory. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

07-08-2003, 04:44 PM	#10 (permalink)
tikki Justified Location: West Lafayette, IN	I just got out of a three year relationship with my best friend. We are no longer speaking, so I am questioning rather it was worth it. We made the promise to be friends after, but it doesn't really work out that way. If you seriously think it's worth it, go for it though. __________________ Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

07-08-2003, 07:45 PM	#11 (permalink)
n1ck31 Upright	Since im in high school, i had an easier time with this, but with my current girlfriend, we were friends first. It just sort of developed- but for months she knew i liked her. I never really had to say anything, cause often i wasnt sure enough myself- it just sort of developed between us. I dont know if this will help you, its just an example.

07-08-2003, 08:19 PM	#12 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	If you ask and she says no.. you're goin to be distraught.. it happens.. a couple I know have been best friends since they were little, they're married and a blast to be around cause they're so comfortable with each other.. hehe.. Just tell her and be prepared.. Never know she might be hiding something too.. and then again.. might not Hope it works out for you __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

07-08-2003, 08:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
shelbel1 Upright	thanks for the advice, i think ill tell her tomorrow how i feel about her .. ill let u guys know ! __________________ \|ars in another, previous lifetime.

07-09-2003, 10:34 AM	#14 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	keeps fingers crossed __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

07-09-2003, 10:42 AM	#15 (permalink)
Sparhawk Dubya Location: VA	break a leg! __________________ "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."

07-09-2003, 03:43 PM	#16 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Go for it. If it doesn't work out, you can always go back to being friends, unless you are super creepy or something. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

07-09-2003, 07:12 PM	#17 (permalink)
tikki Justified Location: West Lafayette, IN	oh the suspense! __________________ Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

07-10-2003, 07:53 AM	#18 (permalink)
Nowlookit Upright	More power to you Dude. Make it happen. Everybody tune in tomorrow for another intriguing episode of " The Bachelor: TFP Edition-Love by Consensus"

07-10-2003, 01:14 PM	#19 (permalink)
shelbel1 Upright	lol... she isnt i-ming me .. ill tell her when she i-ms me .. i ignored one of her calls.. so shes ignoring me now.. she always i-ms me .. so im still waiting.. im not gonna i-m her though .. __________________ \|ars in another, previous lifetime.

07-10-2003, 01:47 PM	#20 (permalink)
Kush Insane Location: Ecosse.	Yeah, one of my best friend's i went ouf with a while ago. It wasn't a comfortable relationship, but i was her first kiss. We decided to split since we'd much rather see other people. It sounds sad.. but now, we still go places with each other, and practically every single party we go to, she's the only person i'll fool around with, and vice versa. She's got a boyfriend, so i feel kinda guilty, but she says it's never been good with him. So if it all goes wrong, there's still hope.. sexually. __________________ I like this forum. A lot.