I love the guy, but I don't love his lack of hygene... - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Reese · 05-09-2009, 03:24 PM

I have horrible hygiene and I've come to defend myself!(more like make excuses.) I am at home a lot. I work at home and my hobbies are done in my house. When stuck in the house most of every day it really screws up your routine. They say watching TV in bed can screw up your sleeping because it's teaching your brain that you should be experiencing something when laying in bed instead of turning itself off. I think that's kind of similar to spending most of your day in your home. It was very easy for me to have good hygiene when I stayed away from home most of the day. When you come home, you feel dirty. You have all the smells of the outside world lingering and having a shower is relaxing. When you're in your house all day there's multiple things working against you. Having so many things to do in the house makes you lose track of time and since you can't smell your own BO as well as others you can sometimes forget because there are no foreign smells to remind you. Secondly, It's depressing not leaving your house for days at a time which causes even more problems with hygiene.

I do try to brush my teeth daily though. You may be able to shower away a weeks worth of dirt and BO but you can't go a week between brushings and expect it to go unnoticed.

I would just tell your boyfriend straight out that his hygiene is unacceptable. It's not like he doesn't know. He's doing it because he's been able to get away with it.

vinceco252 · 05-09-2009, 03:34 PM

^Doesn't work. I work at home 70% +/- of the time, and I shower every morning. I am married, but that's not the reason; I am more worried about it than she is.

sagum · 05-31-2009, 09:06 PM

The best thing to do is tell him how sexy it makes you feel watching him all wet and driping with soap suds. Get him to have a shower, give you a bit of a show with his bits. Even better jump right in there with him, give him a 'handwash'.

After, you can give him oral, kissing, sucking, telling him how much of a big boy he is, how tasty his skin, and cock tastes now that its all yummy clean and fresh. Hint a lot that you wouldn't mind giving him blowjobs more oftern if it were this clean everyday. Rub his ego, make him feel good about showering.

I know I shower with my girl and we have had some fun times, both in the shower and after. Just becareful not to slip and/or smash anything

As for the teeth needing cleaning, you can always brush yours and have him do his at the same time, even if you've already done yours. Say, come oh big boy, show me how you brush your teeth and I may just let you lick my bits tonight.. *wink* or i may just suck/fuck you instead..

Something like that should be more then enough to get him interested in getting his self cleaning habbits upto scratch.

Ofc, there is nothing wrong with having a guy look a bit rough around the edges. My girl prefers it if I wear 'non-clean' looking cloths and don't shave for a day to get that rough and ready look. But she has told me, to wash my cock before now and although I'm a bit hurt (I wash every day) I wash it anyway, as it'll be going in her. The same goes for her too, and I'd really expect any partner to say ifyou're dirty or not.

I wouldn't like to think I'd work/outside with a egg still on my face from breakfast knowing that my partner knew and didn't say anything. Its just the same I imagin for private parts.

Plan9 · 05-31-2009, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cybermike

Having so many things to do in the house makes you lose track of time and since you can't smell your own BO as well as others you can sometimes forget because there are no foreign smells to remind you. Secondly, It's depressing not leaving your house for days at a time which causes even more problems with hygiene.

Yeah, I smell bullshit.

genuinegirly · 05-31-2009, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

Yeah, I smell bullshit.

Actually, I agree with his statement, not yours Crompsin.

Tt had a solid 5 months between when we moved to Ohio and when he began his classes. During that time he worked from home and rarely left the apartment. He chose to wear the same clothes multiple days in a row, rarely shaved, and wouldn't shower unless I specifically requested it. While he claims he is able to tell when he stinks, he doesn't have the same sensitivity to it. He will frequently say a shirt doesn't smell - the same shirt I can't stand to be in the same room with. He often tries to save on laundry by wearing things multiple times. I periodically have to go through his "almost-clean" clothing stashes and put them in the laundry. He has noticed that I do this - he has started to joke about it, realizing that he really can't smell himself as well as he thinks.

Plan9 · 05-31-2009, 10:13 PM

SOCIAL NORMS'D!

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

Actually, I agree with his statement, not yours Crompsin.

Tt had a solid 5 months between when we moved to Ohio and when he began his classes. During that time he worked from home and rarely left the apartment. He chose to wear the same clothes multiple days in a row, rarely shaved, and wouldn't shower unless I specifically requested it.

... like-whoa.

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

While he claims he is able to tell when he stinks, he doesn't have the same sensitivity to it. He will frequently say a shirt doesn't smell - the same shirt I can't stand to be in the same room with. He often tries to save on laundry by wearing things multiple times. I periodically have to go through his "almost-clean" clothing stashes and put them in the laundry. He has noticed that I do this - he has started to joke about it, realizing that he really can't smell himself as well as he thinks.

Hey, super. Turns out I don't buy the "I can't smell my own funk" line. I've been a social shut-in just as much as any other recluse you example and it still doesn't jive with me. It smells more like somebody is getting disgustingly complacent due to other issues. I'm going to assume all examples are people that did the normal-personal-hygiene-routine before they descended into grossoland. Dirt-poor Afghanis have better hygiene than this.

Wearing the same clothes a few times before washing? That's fine. I do it all the time, especially with pants (since I wear them for such short periods of times). Shaving? It's just hair, it grows naturally. But not bathing... or not remembering to brush your god damn teeth? How do you skip stuff like that and not notice if such as a your-entire-life habit previously? I've been stuck in the woods / 3rd world countries for X weeks without showering / laundry and you can feel the film of funk building on your body, the kinda situation where you welcome that ice cold rain.

What's next? Toilet paper getting kicked to the curb, too?

...

This is the weirdest thing to attempt to justify... like a kid with a booger collection.

Martian · 05-31-2009, 10:21 PM

The almost-clean clothing pile is a bachelor staple. I always kept a bottle of Febreze next to mine, though, so that I could deal with any smell issues. Granted, as a smoker I have no choice to assume that there are smells there I can't recognize. Tobacco is a very distinctive smell that tends to bother non-smokers a lot, and if I'm going to wear an article of clothing more than once I need to make sure it's not an issue.

I view hygiene as needs-based. I'm not compulsive about it, and can easily skip a day. I tend to be more fastidious in the summer, when I sweat more. Regardless, the only time I'd go more than a day without attending to such things is when I'm can't-get-out-of-bed sick. I'm inclined to think that in a situation like this, there's more to the story.

Hygiene is a self-respect thing. I have trouble thinking that someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to attend basic needs is really capable of respecting others.

In opposition to some of the others here, I find that being home makes me more attendant to such things. Taking fifteen minutes out of my day to shower is a way to kill fifteen minutes, if nothing else; and since I'm not spending eight hours a day at work, I figure the least I can do is keep on top of laundry and such, so that Magpie doesn't have to worry about it after getting home from a long day.

I don't necessarily think the response needs to be as drastic as ditching the dude right away, but it definitely needs to be taken care of. I'd take the direct approach myself. It's not like he's ignorant to the situation, and maybe he has a good reason, but if things don't improve dramatically and quickly a re-evaluation of what is expected from a relationship may be necessary. I'm thinking that if he can't be bothered to even keep himself presentable for you after being explicitly asked, it really doesn't say much about his opinion of the relationship.

genuinegirly · 05-31-2009, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

This is the weirdest thing to attempt to justify... like a kid with a booger collection.

Yeah... it doesn't make much sense to me either. I can't imagine doing that personally. But I've seen it happen to someone I dearly love, someone who generally enjoys being clean.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

... I figure the least I can do is keep on top of laundry and such, so that Magpie doesn't have to worry about it after getting home from a long day.

you're going to get lots of good-guy points for that one.
Tt did an excellent job of doing my laundry, cooking meals, and keeping up with dishes during the timeframe I have described. I was incredibly appreciative of the help that he offered, since I was frequently in the lab until relatively late, and I was exhausted when I came home. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't see a need to shower unless he is acted upon by some outside source.

Plan9 · 05-31-2009, 10:26 PM

So, is this some kinda dirt-bag-guy-only thing? Why does it seem like girls are less likely to get into the Fromunda Cheese Conundrum?

...

Ergh, this thread makes me wanna go take a shower.

genuinegirly · 05-31-2009, 10:31 PM

dirt-bag-guy? Explain your definition?

Plan9 · 05-31-2009, 10:35 PM

"Is this a situation that only affects males?"

I.E. soft sole middle class white guys that somehow toss their personal hygiene regimen in the trash can for X period due to whatever bullshit excuse (breakup, got fired, drugs, World of Warcraft, etc).

This seems to be a solitary habit. Family / friends / less than overly accommodating girlfriends / strangers generally send up a Stank Flare ASAP.

genuinegirly · 05-31-2009, 10:46 PM

That's what I thought you were saying, but I wasn't quite sure.

Maybe so. I'm just glad that my hubby seems to be beyond that phase.

Plan9 · 05-31-2009, 11:00 PM

Crank those funky tunes! Yeah!

Martian · 06-01-2009, 12:01 AM

Words to live by.

More good advice:

Brush yo' goddamn teeth.

Sometimes I think this is why we have garden hoses.

05-09-2009, 03:24 PM	#41 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	I have horrible hygiene and I've come to defend myself!(more like make excuses.) I am at home a lot. I work at home and my hobbies are done in my house. When stuck in the house most of every day it really screws up your routine. They say watching TV in bed can screw up your sleeping because it's teaching your brain that you should be experiencing something when laying in bed instead of turning itself off. I think that's kind of similar to spending most of your day in your home. It was very easy for me to have good hygiene when I stayed away from home most of the day. When you come home, you feel dirty. You have all the smells of the outside world lingering and having a shower is relaxing. When you're in your house all day there's multiple things working against you. Having so many things to do in the house makes you lose track of time and since you can't smell your own BO as well as others you can sometimes forget because there are no foreign smells to remind you. Secondly, It's depressing not leaving your house for days at a time which causes even more problems with hygiene. I do try to brush my teeth daily though. You may be able to shower away a weeks worth of dirt and BO but you can't go a week between brushings and expect it to go unnoticed. I would just tell your boyfriend straight out that his hygiene is unacceptable. It's not like he doesn't know. He's doing it because he's been able to get away with it. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

05-31-2009, 10:21 PM	#47 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	The almost-clean clothing pile is a bachelor staple. I always kept a bottle of Febreze next to mine, though, so that I could deal with any smell issues. Granted, as a smoker I have no choice to assume that there are smells there I can't recognize. Tobacco is a very distinctive smell that tends to bother non-smokers a lot, and if I'm going to wear an article of clothing more than once I need to make sure it's not an issue. I view hygiene as needs-based. I'm not compulsive about it, and can easily skip a day. I tend to be more fastidious in the summer, when I sweat more. Regardless, the only time I'd go more than a day without attending to such things is when I'm can't-get-out-of-bed sick. I'm inclined to think that in a situation like this, there's more to the story. Hygiene is a self-respect thing. I have trouble thinking that someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to attend basic needs is really capable of respecting others. In opposition to some of the others here, I find that being home makes me more attendant to such things. Taking fifteen minutes out of my day to shower is a way to kill fifteen minutes, if nothing else; and since I'm not spending eight hours a day at work, I figure the least I can do is keep on top of laundry and such, so that Magpie doesn't have to worry about it after getting home from a long day. I don't necessarily think the response needs to be as drastic as ditching the dude right away, but it definitely needs to be taken care of. I'd take the direct approach myself. It's not like he's ignorant to the situation, and maybe he has a good reason, but if things don't improve dramatically and quickly a re-evaluation of what is expected from a relationship may be necessary. I'm thinking that if he can't be bothered to even keep himself presentable for you after being explicitly asked, it really doesn't say much about his opinion of the relationship. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

05-31-2009, 10:26 PM	#49 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	So, is this some kinda dirt-bag-guy-only thing? Why does it seem like girls are less likely to get into the Fromunda Cheese Conundrum? ... Ergh, this thread makes me wanna go take a shower. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

05-31-2009, 10:31 PM	#50 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	dirt-bag-guy? Explain your definition? __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

05-31-2009, 10:35 PM	#51 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	"Is this a situation that only affects males?" I.E. soft sole middle class white guys that somehow toss their personal hygiene regimen in the trash can for X period due to whatever bullshit excuse (breakup, got fired, drugs, World of Warcraft, etc). This seems to be a solitary habit. Family / friends / less than overly accommodating girlfriends / strangers generally send up a Stank Flare ASAP. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 05-31-2009 at 10:39 PM..

05-09-2009, 03:34 PM	#42 (permalink)
vinceco252 Upright Location: Keller, TX	^Doesn't work. I work at home 70% +/- of the time, and I shower every morning. I am married, but that's not the reason; I am more worried about it than she is.

05-31-2009, 09:06 PM	#43 (permalink)
sagum Upright Location: England	The best thing to do is tell him how sexy it makes you feel watching him all wet and driping with soap suds. Get him to have a shower, give you a bit of a show with his bits. Even better jump right in there with him, give him a 'handwash'. After, you can give him oral, kissing, sucking, telling him how much of a big boy he is, how tasty his skin, and cock tastes now that its all yummy clean and fresh. Hint a lot that you wouldn't mind giving him blowjobs more oftern if it were this clean everyday. Rub his ego, make him feel good about showering. I know I shower with my girl and we have had some fun times, both in the shower and after. Just becareful not to slip and/or smash anything As for the teeth needing cleaning, you can always brush yours and have him do his at the same time, even if you've already done yours. Say, come oh big boy, show me how you brush your teeth and I may just let you lick my bits tonight.. wink or i may just suck/fuck you instead.. Something like that should be more then enough to get him interested in getting his self cleaning habbits upto scratch. Ofc, there is nothing wrong with having a guy look a bit rough around the edges. My girl prefers it if I wear 'non-clean' looking cloths and don't shave for a day to get that rough and ready look. But she has told me, to wash my cock before now and although I'm a bit hurt (I wash every day) I wash it anyway, as it'll be going in her. The same goes for her too, and I'd really expect any partner to say ifyou're dirty or not. I wouldn't like to think I'd work/outside with a egg still on my face from breakfast knowing that my partner knew and didn't say anything. Its just the same I imagin for private parts.

05-31-2009, 10:46 PM	#52 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	That's what I thought you were saying, but I wasn't quite sure. Maybe so. I'm just glad that my hubby seems to be beyond that phase. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

05-31-2009, 11:00 PM	#53 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Crank those funky tunes! Yeah! __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

06-01-2009, 12:01 AM	#54 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Words to live by. More good advice: Brush yo' goddamn teeth. Sometimes I think this is why we have garden hoses. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame