Friends With Benefits vs. F*** Buddies - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ametc · 03-26-2009, 03:06 AM

I prefer fuck buddies. I'm a very awkward person and I'd rather they didn't know everything about me. I don't mind talking once in a while... but I don't want to go to them when I'm bawling and tell them all my problems only to have the next sexual encounter with them become awkward.

Shaindra · 03-29-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoccoFan

I was fuck buddy (as far as I was concerned) and "friends with benefits" for the other person for the last 5-6 years. Recently my buddy started an affair with another guy, but continued our relationship. A few weeks ago we decided to meet up for what I assumed would be another night in heaven. Unfortunately my buddy flatly refused sex and I ended the night with a bad case of blue balls. Now my question is " If a guy and a girl are in a physical relationship and agree to meet up for the night, doesn't it mean SEX?" So where did I go wrong? Or does it mean that its just "friends" from now on and no "benefits"?

This is part of the reason these situations don't work out as nicely as people think they will. People have different rules and expectations, and they need to communicate them completely and frequently. Seems like a lot of work for just "fuck buddies". I mean...all that communicating? Might as well have a real relationship.

bloody_rose20 · 04-04-2009, 11:17 PM

Hmm...this is a very good topic. I myself, have had FB's, and FWB's. The FB's have always ended up turning into FWB's lol. As for the FWB's...only one of them ended up becoming personal. But thats because he was too damn desirable to stay away from haha! But I think, you can maintain them as FWB's as long as thats what you want. As for the FWB, usually if its a guy you don't really have to worry about him getting too attatched as long as you let them know in the beginning that is as far as you want it to go. I think its a good idea to have a FWB if you don't want to have a relationship. That way you still have a companion in ways, but you aren't claimed or tied down by that one person.

Plan9 · 04-04-2009, 11:30 PM

The movement of sex on the relationship time line - how novel. I like the superfluous titles, too. "I'm ___, but not ___ because of ___."

Most of my long term relationships go like that. Meet, "Wow, you're hot," screw, get to know each other, continue to screw, formal relationship, infidelity, etc. I don't think I've had a normal relationship in my life. My concept of "how it goes" is so far off I shouldn't be allowed to post relationship advice.

...

I would want my fuck buddy to be hot. That way sex is cued up all the time. I'd want my FWB to be not hot. That way the sex draw isn't overwhelming.

nikkiana · 04-05-2009, 09:33 AM

I've been in FB and FWB type arrangements before. Some successes, some failures. I don't think there's anything wrong with the arrangement at all, though perhaps not for everybody. I think the key to it is knowing what you want and being honest about it.

I think, in general, FB and FWB type arrangements fail and are seen as situations rife with drama and heartache because often times in these situations, discussions about expectations and desires often times don't occur because the relationship is so casual and non-binding... when in actuality, these discussions need to be had or else one person is going to make one assumption, and the other may make another, and in the end someone gets hurt. I tend to think FB and FWB end up being more tricky because often times they are non-monogamous arrangements involving people who are typically monogamous, thus can be terminated pretty swiftly if one of the people involved decides to get more seriously involved with someone else.

That said, my official stance is always to communicate what you want.... and there's nothing wrong with wanting and liking having a FWB or FB arrangement, likewise there's also nothing wrong with not wanting that either.

DesertFaust · 04-10-2009, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halx

You really just need to be on the same level when it comes to sex. If both people agree to be eachother's glorified sex toy, then all is good. You both have to just like sex and be up for it whenever. If you're not up for it, you shouldn't feel bad for declining an offer.

It will never work if one person wants to use it as an avenue to get the other in a relationship.
It will never work if one person ALWAYS views sex as something more than just... sex.
It will never work if one person agrees to have sex when they don't really feel like it.

Most of my friends are into the Poly scene, so I am surrounded by a lot of "free love" these days. Its hard to take other people seriously when they put so much weight into sex.

Bingo!!

04-04-2009, 11:17 PM	#43 (permalink)
bloody_rose20 Crazy Location: In Vermont	Hmm...this is a very good topic. I myself, have had FB's, and FWB's. The FB's have always ended up turning into FWB's lol. As for the FWB's...only one of them ended up becoming personal. But thats because he was too damn desirable to stay away from haha! But I think, you can maintain them as FWB's as long as thats what you want. As for the FWB, usually if its a guy you don't really have to worry about him getting too attatched as long as you let them know in the beginning that is as far as you want it to go. I think its a good idea to have a FWB if you don't want to have a relationship. That way you still have a companion in ways, but you aren't claimed or tied down by that one person. __________________ "The only way to enjoy life, is to try different things, and take risks. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and hope for the best "

04-04-2009, 11:30 PM	#44 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	The movement of sex on the relationship time line - how novel. I like the superfluous titles, too. "I'm ___, but not ___ because of ___." Most of my long term relationships go like that. Meet, "Wow, you're hot," screw, get to know each other, continue to screw, formal relationship, infidelity, etc. I don't think I've had a normal relationship in my life. My concept of "how it goes" is so far off I shouldn't be allowed to post relationship advice. ... I would want my fuck buddy to be hot. That way sex is cued up all the time. I'd want my FWB to be not hot. That way the sex draw isn't overwhelming. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

04-05-2009, 09:33 AM	#45 (permalink)
nikkiana Tilted Location: Brooklyn, NY	I've been in FB and FWB type arrangements before. Some successes, some failures. I don't think there's anything wrong with the arrangement at all, though perhaps not for everybody. I think the key to it is knowing what you want and being honest about it. I think, in general, FB and FWB type arrangements fail and are seen as situations rife with drama and heartache because often times in these situations, discussions about expectations and desires often times don't occur because the relationship is so casual and non-binding... when in actuality, these discussions need to be had or else one person is going to make one assumption, and the other may make another, and in the end someone gets hurt. I tend to think FB and FWB end up being more tricky because often times they are non-monogamous arrangements involving people who are typically monogamous, thus can be terminated pretty swiftly if one of the people involved decides to get more seriously involved with someone else. That said, my official stance is always to communicate what you want.... and there's nothing wrong with wanting and liking having a FWB or FB arrangement, likewise there's also nothing wrong with not wanting that either. __________________ nikkiana

03-26-2009, 03:06 AM	#41 (permalink)
ametc Psycho	I prefer fuck buddies. I'm a very awkward person and I'd rather they didn't know everything about me. I don't mind talking once in a while... but I don't want to go to them when I'm bawling and tell them all my problems only to have the next sexual encounter with them become awkward.