fluster

Having recently separated and now in a new relationship it struck me that there is SO much about sex that you just can't be taught. Or more importantly, things that you just don't find written in books or even hear about via word of mouth.

I thought it might be fun(and somewhat humorous) if both sexes could share some of things they have learnt over the years. Don't be afraid to mention something that seems glaringly obvious because I won't be! Of course a lot of what you have learned may only apply to you but that is ok. Let us know anyway.

Here's some of mine (obviously these are from a man's point of view!):-

1. Boobs have different weight even if they are similar sized (having been with a girl with big boobs I was kinda of shocked when I was with another girl with similar sized boobs that were twice as heavy!)

2. Different positions feel different with different people (should be obvious I know).

3. All vagina's aren't in exactly the same spot. (A position that is possible with one person may not be with an other. Obviously the person's shape etc. comes into play as well).

4. Sex feels different at different times of the month (I'm putting this one down to the woman's natural lubricant changing in viscocity).

5. Good looking does not necessarily equal good sex.

6. There is a big difference between sex and love making.

7. Going without sex for quite some time seems to desensitize my dick. (It feels better the second time after a long period of no action.)

8. Other erogenous areas can really effect the enjoyment of sex. (For me just above the pubic bone area is actually quite sensitive when close to orgasm).

9. A tighter vagina does not necessarily equal more enjoyable sex. (I learnt this one after my partner had a child).

10. Women with smaller breasts seem to enjoy nipple stimulation more (I'd be interested in others opinions on this one. Every small breasted woman I have been with has loved nipple stimulation and all the bigger breasted women weren't keen on it!)


That'll do for now. I'll post more as I think of them.

ratbastid

My wife has very small breasts and her nipples (and other things, for that matter) are very sensitive--to the point that too much direct attention is often uncomfortable.

My girlfriend has large breasts, though not like ridiculously so, and can't get enough nipple stimulation. She likes them pinched and bitten with gusto.

What we've all concluded is that there's a difference between "sensitive" and "responsive". Whether that's a function of breast size, I don't know.

fresnelly

Perhaps a finite number of nerve endings are spread farther apart on large breasts reducing sensitivity overall; but then pleasure isn't strictly phyisical is it. My large breasted wife LOVES nipple play.

/me too.

The obvious thing I've learned is how important your partner's enthusiasm is. Nothing kills the mood faster than an uninterested partner. Same for pornography.

__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

Daniel_

Pornography has to be enthusiastic about you?

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

StellaLuna

I almost had an orgasm from a back massage. (And Ratbastid is sooooo right about the nipple stimulation: I want them pinched until I damn near cry, and it's amazing. And yeah, these girls are a pretty good size.)

Add: Just because this particular move works for one woman doesn't mean it'll work for another. I've been learning this over the last year.

__________________
Screw tradition!

fresnelly

Yeah, that didn't come out quite right. My point is somewhere between the fact that 1.) most porn is only about getting the guy off and 2.) it's usually obvious that they're faking it. The disconnect is why it can be so boring.

__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

Shaindra

1. The same position feels different with different people.

2. Size does matter...but not as much as you'd think. Girth over length, and a willingness to please over everything else. In fact, some smaller guys tend to over compensate in the most delightful ways.

3. Most women do not climax from just intercourse. Yes, I said most. Yes, even most of the women you've been with who scream out anytime your c*ck comes near their pussy. Simply put, most of them are faking.

4. Yes, even with your amazing love-snake. Sorry.

5. If she did it right the first time, it means she likely learned it somewhere else. But who cares, so long as she can do it again next time.

6. Speak up if something feels good or hurts. Otherwise people are going to keep assuming all is good.

7. Sluts aren't always the best lovers. In fact, some of the best lovers are people who've been in long-term relationships where they had to experiment to keep things hot.

8. Generally speaking, people f*ck like they kiss.

9. No good will come of someone who asks for anal on the first date.

10. Don't judge someone by the first time. People are nervous and take a little time to learn the ropes. But that doesn't mean you give them years to figure it out. If you haven't had a good time by the 3rd or 4th time with some appropriate feedback, it might be time to look elsewhere.

fluster

Yes this is a good one. In particular, the "feedback" part. Don't expect someone to know what you do and don't like. It's ok to tell and to ask I say!

cadre

This is a good point, never thought about it till now.

As for me:
1. Sex at certain times of the day may not work for everyone. (for some reason, my boyfriend has a hard time getting off from morning sex)
2. Many people will be uncomfortable if you casually mention your sex life without warning.
3. Some men actually can suck their own dicks.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Acetylene

1. Cum will strip the varnish off of wood sometimes.
2. Eros brand lubricant: when it comes to anal, accept no substitutes.
3. Headaches aren't a reason not to have sex unles they are so bad you can't move or think. The sex hormones will make the headache feel better!

__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.

savmesom11

~ It's not about fucking all night, it's about fucking the first time right.

~ You can't always be everyone's best.

~ Making love to your partners mind all day, makes for an amazing sex life.

~ Lubrication is under rated.

__________________
* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

Mantus

It's necessary to be to selfish.

Derwood

1. I really suck at sex

ring

"these things must be done delicately"

abaya

1. Maximus lube, for all your anal/vaginal penetration needs. (We even asked a friend to buy us some and ship it here from the US, because it's so good.)

2. Anal makes for some awesome fucking. Especially when combined with a reach-around.

3. It's okay (and very helpful) for me to fantasize about other people when my husband is working on my orgasm, and he encourages it as well.

4. Remaining utterly open and non-judgmental about my husband's (and my own!) sexual fantasies is one of the keys to our happy marriage.

5. Good vibes don't die young. Oh yeah, and always have a stock of batteries on hand!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Halx

No wonder I have big lips.

__________________
You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]

Ustwo

I have a 'special' friend who is a very bad kisser, but man she fucks like a wild woman.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

ItWasMe

It's a bad idea to get into the habit of repeating someone's name in bed. Sometimes during the throes of passion, it can be really hard to remember their name, even if you've been married for over a decade. It's can be a very, very bad moment if you yell out the *wrong* name just because you were fantasizing.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

Shaindra

I should qualify that my experience in these matters is limited to men. For now.

cyklone

Definitely agree with 5. I've had the most fantastic sex with women that would only be deemed averagely attractive.

10. I'd tend to agree with this until after they have had children. I've noticed women's nipples seem to become MUCH more sensitive after they have spent several months breast feeding (and they stay that way).

a) Older women are a bloody sight better at it than younger women. It does get better with practice.

b) the first time might be the most exciting but it is generally not the most fulfilling.

Shaindra

Put this one on a billboard please. I was a horrible lay when I was younger. Lay there and hope he finds the buttons, don't even bother looking for any of his. Now? Heh, it's like a playground, only more fun.

__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."

The Magic

-Find and buy a brand of condoms you like. Free ones don't cut it.


Without derailing so much, could you go into what made you "grow up"? Did a partner affect you, or did you naturally become more interested?

777

Here's one that comes in handy. Should an orgasm come on too early, just stop everything until it's over (which should be less than 30 seconds). Then continue like it never happened, and I can keep going for another 20 or 30 minutes. The second O isn't as enjoyable as the first, but it's all the fun before then that counts.

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

SSJTWIZTA

yeah, i find myself doing this more than i would like.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Kaimi

As far as the older women go, I think much of this is because the older women are not as freaked out and embarassed about talking about intimate issues. More open minded, more willing to be adventurous, not nearly as shy about their vaginas. After all, it is supposed to feel good.

Frobby

Plan9

I've learned that I can headbutt someone during one of my "death-n-resurrection" orgasms and not notice it at all.

Be aware of where your skull is and where it will go during climax.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ishmal

really???
thats not something i'd have ever considered!

so true.
i love to wake up & roll over for some morning sex, but my ex was never in the mood until much later.

Your fingernail can cause pain or discomfort if you stick a finger in her arse.
(or his arse i suppose)
I recommend the toys designed for the job.

Or at least keep them trimmed!

__________________
"Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

PonyPotato

Sometimes, just continuing through it is the best. It can extend the orgasm and keep you both turned on enough to get another one soon enough. Yes, it can be a bit intense.. but a bit of twitching and moaning never hurt anyone.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel