Best girl friend, 2 months later... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

nineotwofour · 11-26-2007, 11:22 PM

So i visited here about a few months ago, and posted a topic here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=124504 where i got very good responses. Now I want to give everyone an update and ask for more advice if i could.

I advise you might want to skim the other topic first because this might sound kind of weird without that as a pretense.

Ok, well since I'm in college I've been home twice, once for fall break and once for thanksgiving. For fall break i saw her on the second day i was in town and then almost every single day after that. Thanksgiving break that just ended yesterday, i saw her the second day (she skipped school to see me) and the last day, she got a new job and has been quite busy. Anyways everything with this girl has been insane lately, i fucked up the trust between us, yet she still welcomes me back and tells me she doesn't care. I still think of her all the time just like i did 2 months ago, the only difference now is that i feel like i can control myself and not talk to her or try to talk to her for longer periods of time. The first day we hung out it was just us two for about 3 hours. We did nothing except sit in my car and talk and get a bite to eat at the mall. She seemed to have a good time though, because she never stopped talking about her life and giving me every little detail about whats been going on with her. At the end though, as she was about to leave the car, she gave me a goodbye hug, and when i let go she held on and slowly backed off and looked me in the eyes, as if i was supposed to kiss her. At the moment i just didn't have the balls to take a chance, i didn't want to make a move i might have misread. Anyways i saw her one time after that and then I'm gone again back to college. My concern now is was that my only chance? If she really did want to kiss me will she give me another chance when i go back home? Also my birthday is during when i next get back, and she told me shes getting me a gift. Which is kind of weird because shes never gotten anyone a gift before, i mean for a guy.

I really don't know how to read her. She used to not like to talk about what happened with me and her over the summer. About that night i went down on her. But now if i bring it up she goes with the conversation and i guess respects it. Maybe shes just maturing up, who knows, i actually hope thats what it is.

So tell me what am i to do? lol

Delirious · 11-27-2007, 06:22 AM

Maybe she is going to return the favor as your "gift"

Seriously though, In the other thread there was some good advice. I've told a woman before that I was friends with that I had feelings for and she said it wasn't like that for her. It may have been awkward but I tried to just do it without much though and we are still good friends because she values me as a person. This girl sounds like she values you alot. The every detail thing is exactly what I would get from my friend.

I think it's just a confidence issue you are having. The fact of the matter is, women love confidence period. Even if you aren't confident, you should be projecting it at 99% of the time. Be cocky, but not an ass. Just go for it. BTW, I did kiss her and she kissed me back.

cadre · 11-27-2007, 08:12 AM

Ya know, way back when my boyfriend and I first started hanging out we both went for six months liking each other but neither of us had the balls to do anything about it. It was the whole "he wasn't sure I liked him and I wasn't sure he liked me" thing..which could very well be what's happening here.

I'd say, just go for it and if she says she doesn't feel the same way you can probably salvage a friendship. Keep in mind though that anything that does happen will be long distance.

dlish · 11-27-2007, 08:31 AM

its quite obvious that she digs you. go for it!

Hain · 11-27-2007, 09:09 AM

Life, especially relationships, is like learning a new language. You have to just jump into it: conjugate verbs wrong, mispronounce your vowels' accentuations, mix words around, hell even insult a few people by accident (I hope). This is hard for people that think too much (i.e. you and me) which is ok.

If it comes from the heart and she is really worth it, she'll understand.

nineotwofour · 11-27-2007, 01:20 PM

heres another problem, when i was back home she brought up some guy she made out with, and who she was talking about that she didnt know why she thinks she likes him. Also she was talking to me about how she wants a boyfriend who is great for her on a personality basis, and she isnt trying to find a guy who is "gorgeous" i think was her choice of words. She also told me not to laugh at her before she told me this other guys name, i did laugh tho. When i was going to leave i txted her about that boyfriend thing, becuase i told her before that if she wanted to have somthing with me that id be down for that. I know that sounds gay or whatever but i think thats how close we are that i can say that and her take it for face value. i asked her if that was in responce to what i had said a while ago, and she txts me back no sorry hah. i mean i didnt ask her out or anything, id never do it any other way than in person, i just asked her a question. so now all you guys saying go for it, i mean i dont think she wants it.

Toaster126 · 11-28-2007, 09:04 PM

Stop whining.

If you want something more than what you have, try and make it happen with your actions, both verbal and otherwise. If you don't, walk away. It's simple to solve the problem. When you play the what if game and leave a situation in limbo, you aren't doing anything except creating a problem.

dlish · 11-29-2007, 05:44 AM

so ok by now she knows tht u dig her..so its no surprise to her..shes had time to process it...and she hasnt run away

now read post #4

nineotwofour · 11-29-2007, 12:47 PM

what do you mean by go for it?

Ask her out? i mean i could but she already said she wasnt refering to me when she said she wants a boyfriend, i mean i thought i said that in my last post...

but if you guys think maybe shes playing with my head i mean, ill ask her out if you guys think itll work.

So what did you mean by go for it?

Toaster126 · 11-30-2007, 09:36 AM

If you don't know what go for it means, maybe you aren't ready for a relationship...

dlish · 12-01-2007, 02:22 AM

so.. ure standing on the edge of the 10m platform... one step can determine whetehr u win or lose...u look around and ask for some solace from your coach.... he yells out..."go for it!!!" do u go for the triple summersault with a twist and half pike that can win your gold? or just a double with a twist..and setlle for bronze...

you have nothing to lose but 2 months of your life..but could get a lifetime of joy..

i wont tell you what to do... its not what TFP is all about. . .

nineotwofour · 12-01-2007, 03:16 AM

im old enough to be in a relationship, just wanted to know exactly what it meant in that context. I will go for it when i get back home hopefully ill get another opportunity like i did last time i was home, but even if i dont ill figure somthing out, i dont want to think what if.

11-26-2007, 11:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
nineotwofour Upright	Best girl friend, 2 months later... So i visited here about a few months ago, and posted a topic here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=124504 where i got very good responses. Now I want to give everyone an update and ask for more advice if i could. I advise you might want to skim the other topic first because this might sound kind of weird without that as a pretense. Ok, well since I'm in college I've been home twice, once for fall break and once for thanksgiving. For fall break i saw her on the second day i was in town and then almost every single day after that. Thanksgiving break that just ended yesterday, i saw her the second day (she skipped school to see me) and the last day, she got a new job and has been quite busy. Anyways everything with this girl has been insane lately, i fucked up the trust between us, yet she still welcomes me back and tells me she doesn't care. I still think of her all the time just like i did 2 months ago, the only difference now is that i feel like i can control myself and not talk to her or try to talk to her for longer periods of time. The first day we hung out it was just us two for about 3 hours. We did nothing except sit in my car and talk and get a bite to eat at the mall. She seemed to have a good time though, because she never stopped talking about her life and giving me every little detail about whats been going on with her. At the end though, as she was about to leave the car, she gave me a goodbye hug, and when i let go she held on and slowly backed off and looked me in the eyes, as if i was supposed to kiss her. At the moment i just didn't have the balls to take a chance, i didn't want to make a move i might have misread. Anyways i saw her one time after that and then I'm gone again back to college. My concern now is was that my only chance? If she really did want to kiss me will she give me another chance when i go back home? Also my birthday is during when i next get back, and she told me shes getting me a gift. Which is kind of weird because shes never gotten anyone a gift before, i mean for a guy. I really don't know how to read her. She used to not like to talk about what happened with me and her over the summer. About that night i went down on her. But now if i bring it up she goes with the conversation and i guess respects it. Maybe shes just maturing up, who knows, i actually hope thats what it is. So tell me what am i to do? lol

11-27-2007, 06:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
Delirious Crazy Location: Queens, NY	Maybe she is going to return the favor as your "gift" Seriously though, In the other thread there was some good advice. I've told a woman before that I was friends with that I had feelings for and she said it wasn't like that for her. It may have been awkward but I tried to just do it without much though and we are still good friends because she values me as a person. This girl sounds like she values you alot. The every detail thing is exactly what I would get from my friend. I think it's just a confidence issue you are having. The fact of the matter is, women love confidence period. Even if you aren't confident, you should be projecting it at 99% of the time. Be cocky, but not an ass. Just go for it. BTW, I did kiss her and she kissed me back. Last edited by Delirious; 11-27-2007 at 06:26 AM..

11-27-2007, 08:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	Ya know, way back when my boyfriend and I first started hanging out we both went for six months liking each other but neither of us had the balls to do anything about it. It was the whole "he wasn't sure I liked him and I wasn't sure he liked me" thing..which could very well be what's happening here. I'd say, just go for it and if she says she doesn't feel the same way you can probably salvage a friendship. Keep in mind though that anything that does happen will be long distance. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

11-27-2007, 08:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	its quite obvious that she digs you. go for it! __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

11-27-2007, 09:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	Life, especially relationships, is like learning a new language. You have to just jump into it: conjugate verbs wrong, mispronounce your vowels' accentuations, mix words around, hell even insult a few people by accident (I hope). This is hard for people that think too much (i.e. you and me) which is ok. If it comes from the heart and she is really worth it, she'll understand. __________________ ////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

11-27-2007, 01:20 PM	#6 (permalink)
nineotwofour Upright	heres another problem, when i was back home she brought up some guy she made out with, and who she was talking about that she didnt know why she thinks she likes him. Also she was talking to me about how she wants a boyfriend who is great for her on a personality basis, and she isnt trying to find a guy who is "gorgeous" i think was her choice of words. She also told me not to laugh at her before she told me this other guys name, i did laugh tho. When i was going to leave i txted her about that boyfriend thing, becuase i told her before that if she wanted to have somthing with me that id be down for that. I know that sounds gay or whatever but i think thats how close we are that i can say that and her take it for face value. i asked her if that was in responce to what i had said a while ago, and she txts me back no sorry hah. i mean i didnt ask her out or anything, id never do it any other way than in person, i just asked her a question. so now all you guys saying go for it, i mean i dont think she wants it.

11-28-2007, 09:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Stop whining. If you want something more than what you have, try and make it happen with your actions, both verbal and otherwise. If you don't, walk away. It's simple to solve the problem. When you play the what if game and leave a situation in limbo, you aren't doing anything except creating a problem. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

11-29-2007, 05:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	so ok by now she knows tht u dig her..so its no surprise to her..shes had time to process it...and she hasnt run away now read post #4 __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy Last edited by dlish; 12-01-2007 at 02:15 AM..

11-29-2007, 12:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
nineotwofour Upright	what do you mean by go for it? Ask her out? i mean i could but she already said she wasnt refering to me when she said she wants a boyfriend, i mean i thought i said that in my last post... but if you guys think maybe shes playing with my head i mean, ill ask her out if you guys think itll work. So what did you mean by go for it?

11-30-2007, 09:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	If you don't know what go for it means, maybe you aren't ready for a relationship... __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

12-01-2007, 02:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	so.. ure standing on the edge of the 10m platform... one step can determine whetehr u win or lose...u look around and ask for some solace from your coach.... he yells out..."go for it!!!" do u go for the triple summersault with a twist and half pike that can win your gold? or just a double with a twist..and setlle for bronze... you have nothing to lose but 2 months of your life..but could get a lifetime of joy.. i wont tell you what to do... its not what TFP is all about. . . __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

12-01-2007, 03:16 AM	#12 (permalink)
nineotwofour Upright	im old enough to be in a relationship, just wanted to know exactly what it meant in that context. I will go for it when i get back home hopefully ill get another opportunity like i did last time i was home, but even if i dont ill figure somthing out, i dont want to think what if.