06-17-2003, 07:58 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Still crazy after all these years
Location: Norther Cal
|
F*ck buddies - urban legend?
Ok...my first real new thread ever. Be gentle.
I've had a question that has been on my mind heavily for a few weeks now and I figure that this is the best place to get it answered. "Do fuck buddies really exist?" To elaborate: After reading many of the posts in many of the areas of TFP, I have come to find that many of my experiences in life have been different than what appears to be the majority of folks that gather here. I have heard of, if not participated in, many of the rituals found described at TFP, but the idea of fuck buddies (or fuck friends) is a new one to me. What I am asking for is responses to my question with either stories or evidence that this phenomenon does or does not exist. You do not need to give personal details unless you wish to do so. I am only attempting to understand if this truly exists or not. I am also interested when this happened in your life (high school, college, first job, etc.) and if there were any consequences to your actions down the road (he/she tells their friends). I thank you in advance for your response.
__________________
I'm not prejudiced...I hate everyone equally. |
06-17-2003, 08:05 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
|
I didn't ever have any fuck buddies... or FTFs (friends that fuck) as I've been told.
I do have some friends that don't have the intimacy issues that I have with my partnere. So in answer, yes they do exist. I know a few of them.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
06-17-2003, 08:15 AM | #3 (permalink) | |
strangelove
Location: ...more here than there...
|
Re: F*ck buddies - urban legend?
Quote:
i've done it a few times, late teens-early 20s. with several diff people at diff times. and thats all the info i'll share atm.
__________________
- + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - ° 01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101 Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach
|
|
06-17-2003, 08:16 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: around the corner
|
Hell yes, the myth is true for me it was about 7 years ago and it was just something to do if we were broke or bored, there was more then three and we had the same creed No strings, no issues.
Since that time if I've ever been with a woman there has been alot of emotions that were in place on both sides that allowed for that. |
06-17-2003, 08:18 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: New Orleans/Oakland/San Diego/Chicago
|
I have had a couple different kind of "fuck buddies" Some have been old friends that one day I end up sleeping with. Most of the time it was good so we continued being friends and would fuck on occasion.
Sometimes the sex is so good it dosent matter that her voice sound like donald duck and she has the mentality of a paperclip. |
06-17-2003, 09:00 AM | #6 (permalink) |
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
Location: Upper Michigan
|
Friends with benefits? I can't say much but hubby and I had more than one couple who were friends and we had the benefit of bedding them on occasion too. It helps not to have the same issues when you are already married.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. |
06-17-2003, 09:34 AM | #7 (permalink) |
Loser
|
Yeah it exists.I have had and continue to have FB. Some people are critical of people like me,but I don't mind.Just because I choose to be single and hook up with other people who feel the same way, doesn't mean it is wrong. If I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship I would be. Whatever floats your boat I guess.
|
06-17-2003, 09:36 AM | #8 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Wisconsin, USA
|
Had two FB's during life before marriage. One of them turned out to take it way more seriously than agreed, so maybe she shouldn't count. They do exist. I've never understood why we have so many hang ups about sex. This should be way more common than it is. Ok, so I'm a guy and biased... I think there's plenty of women that would agree. I just don't meet many of them! And now it's too late. Awww, poor me! LOL
|
06-17-2003, 11:00 AM | #9 (permalink) |
spurt king
Location: Out of my mind
|
Yes the elusive Fuck Buddie is rampant, but as quickly as the fuck buddie appears his arch nemisis the "wants something more than friends" butts in.
I have experienced both beasts. The fuck buddie was fun, no strings booty, just hanging and drinking, but as the night wore on and it would look like another night of late movies something would click..... or stick as the case maybe.... but then something happens. Content, comfort, and reliability. You might as well be dating now, cause you are inseperatable... sure you can oggle the other ladies and she can flirt with the other man... but deep down inside starts to burn a little resentment. "Was he good" " Is that your type now"... the evil beast has reared it's ugly head and you are squabbling like a married couple.... And then ends the fuck buddie and begins the relationship
__________________
No signature at this time. |
06-17-2003, 11:11 AM | #10 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: The Kitchen
|
I've had a few, my fuck buddy experiences are far better than any more committed relationships I've had too. The first FB I had was a girl I worked with when I was 18 and had just broken up with my first serious gf of 2 1/2 years. She made me forget all about the ex, and since she was a little older, was able to teach me a few things. The only time there was ever any problem was when I was fooling around with another girl I worked with and ended up becoming her boss. We agreed that it would look bad if anyone found out, so we quit. As long as it's two adults being honest with each other, what's the harm?
|
06-17-2003, 11:38 AM | #11 (permalink) |
pow!
Location: NorCal
|
Its true, its true! They exist!
I had them in all sorts of different types of relationships from high-school, through college, and until I got together with my (now) wife. Some friends I and I just fucked on occasion. Some friends and I fucked A LOT. Once, my girlfriend "loaned me out" for an evening as a birthday present to a mutual friend.
__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free. |
06-17-2003, 11:43 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Oregon
|
my only one was a while after my best friend and his g/f broke up, I visited her as we were still friends and she and I watched a porn. Then we did it (because it was my first time) for like 8 hours. I'm serious, I've never been able to go as long as that night. It was from like 9 that evening to about 5 the next morning.
Odd. Now I am getting married and going to have a baby. My life is much better now.
__________________
"It's not that I don't understand, it's that I don't care" - Homer Simpson |
06-17-2003, 12:41 PM | #13 (permalink) |
Banned
|
I currrently have a fuck buddy. I met her over the internet and we got together with the understanding that we were getting together to fuck and nothing else. She was and is cool with that. She told me that it will continue until she finds a BF but until then we get together when one or the other feels the need to and it is convienient for both of us. In the past year we have gotten together about 20 times.
|
06-17-2003, 12:50 PM | #15 (permalink) |
Loser
|
yep, true
I had a companion for some months before I left San Diego. She knew I was going to be leaving, I told her straight off the bat. But we found each other attractive, and enjoyed each other's company greatly. Good times by all It's sometimes nice to have the sex without the big emotions getting tied into it. There's been a few others too. Last edited by rogue49; 06-17-2003 at 12:53 PM.. |
06-17-2003, 03:45 PM | #19 (permalink) |
comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
|
been there, done that, wore out the t-shirt...it happens; go with the flow...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
06-17-2003, 04:22 PM | #20 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: in a hole, ventura county,cali
|
yes, i was half of the FB system. we were just friends...hanging out, doin it, having fun. and then, we fell in love. and now we're getting married, to each other, best friends...how lame and corny! what a great story to tell my grand kids.
__________________
www.holeinthe.net |
06-17-2003, 04:25 PM | #21 (permalink) |
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
|
" I don't fuck just anybody."
Hey Nikki, I'm not just anybody.
__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin... |
06-17-2003, 05:08 PM | #22 (permalink) | |
Fluxing wildly...
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
|
Quote:
But yes, they do exist, I just don't go for that sort of thing.
__________________
flux (n.) Medicine. The discharge of large quantities of fluid material from the body, especially the discharge of watery feces from the intestines. |
|
06-17-2003, 05:11 PM | #23 (permalink) | |
Loser
|
Quote:
I have a friend who has been one of my FB's for 4 years.We get along great and understand each other. It isn't only about the sex.We are good friends. Half the time we go out for drinks or dinner,we go home alone. And that's just fine between the two of us. |
|
06-17-2003, 10:24 PM | #26 (permalink) | |
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
|
Quote:
|
|
06-18-2003, 11:54 AM | #29 (permalink) | |
Loser
|
Quote:
Then you and the other person have to be mature enough to realize what exactly the reasons are for wanting this to happen. It is not about getting laid,or getting the goods without a commitment.There is a very big responsibility that goes along with this type of arrangement. Sexual safety,discretion,respect and allowing the freedom to exist as individuals minus the bullshit. Usually older people have this arrangement rather than younger but it isn't exclusive.Reasons people do this is because they are too busy for a relationship, are concentrating on a career,travel alot,have been in relationships and have decided it's not for them or are like me.I am a very private person,who has been in long term relationships before,but now I choose when and where I want or need social stimulation. I would literally go crazy if I had to interact with a partner on a daily basis unless of course they allowed me to be my usual loner self.And honestly,it isn't about the sex.The sex is actual secondary to the companionship. Furthermore,this arrangement isn't cold or unfeeling but the opposite.Two people can become very close yet maintain the boundaries without crossing the line,it just depends on the individuals involved. I was told once that because I choose this lifestyle, I have loose morals. This from a woman who was twice divorced and cheating on her fiance with her boss. Like I said before,whatever floats your boat. |
|
06-18-2003, 12:13 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Industrialist
Location: Southern California
|
Sure thing.
For me it was when I was in College and then after I graduated. Kinda works like this: You are attracted to each other You are both mentally healthy enough to realize that you are not going to spend the rest of your lives together Neither of you has anyone else You may as well take care of each other's needs. Not much more than a phone call is needed and if you are both available it works out. For me it usually started with a drunken hookup and went on from there. When we sobered up in the morning and saw that neither of us were sasquatch, things went from there.
__________________
All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860) |
06-18-2003, 05:01 PM | #32 (permalink) |
it's jam
Location: Lowerainland BC
|
I dealing with one right now. She lives about 3 hours away so it takes a bit of an effort, but we have fun and the sex is fantastic. We both know it will be over as soon as we meet and start going out with someone else. It started as simple dating, but when I told her I wasn't going to marry her she proposed the idea of being a FB.
__________________
nice line eh? |
06-18-2003, 10:37 PM | #35 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Boone, NC
|
I've had two fuck buddies. Those situations always mess with my head and heart. Mine don't last long but I have tried.
__________________
"the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects' |
06-19-2003, 09:19 AM | #39 (permalink) |
Addict
|
Yep, we're out here. One of mine was in my mid twenties. I was bartending and she was a barfly. She was 36 and had the body of a 19 yo. Never married and horny as hell. I think she may have had aspirations of there being more than what it was but, she never said so. Sex was great. I mean really great. I still think about it 15 years later.
__________________
I blow my nose at you. Now go away before I taunt you a second time. |
06-19-2003, 09:49 AM | #40 (permalink) |
Dubya
Location: VA
|
Used to have one, now I have a lot more self-esteem, and want more from a relationship than that.
Granted, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, so I'm pretty much screwed both ways
__________________
"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work." |
Tags |
buddies, fck, legend, urban |
|
|