Metallica_Band

Hey there...I've been wanting advice on something for a while now...you are about to read my crappy life relationship-wise (meaning with friends, girlfriends, etc...)

I was born in South America...my parents adopted me when I was little and was made an American citizen...I lived in Kansas City then in Belgium (in Europe I think) then in Michigan and now in Tennessee...

I started going to school in Michigan...I had a few friends but was held back from preschool cause they had discovered I had ADD...so I was a year older than everyone...when I went for my second year in preschool (I think it was called preschool...it was at a school with 1-5 grade...they also had one lower than 1st grade...so I think it was called preschool even tho I was in a school...can't remember...anyways when Iwent to school I met this girl on the first day...we became instant friends...she was the only guy that she liked...why me I dunno...I DO remember being attracted to her...(maybe attracted isn't the right word...don't think you ocan get attracted at such a young age...but something was there)...there were two ppl that hated me...one was the regular bully type which enjoyed picking on me...the other had some personal problems and didn't like me as well...I had a couple other friends but the "friendship" only existed inside of school...I was never invited to anything by anyone except for a few occasions...and also I was regularly invited to my girl friends' (not girlfriend girlfriend...just a friend that is a girl) birthday parties...I tried inviting a bunch of ppl I knew to MY parties and they enjoyed it but they never really talked to me...this went on til 4th grade...

then I had to move to the boring state of Tennessee...I had to leave the few friends I had and the friend that I had been true friends with since I started school...she was so pretty...I just KNEW that I lived there longer that our relationship would be going to higher levels...plus I had to miss 5th grade which I was looking forward to cause I would be going to this teacher that was allowed to keep animals in his room...I was SOOO looking forward to his classroom...he had lizards and an owl and lotz of other stuff...plus I had to miss out on Elemtery graduation...our school had a cool graduation...the whole school gathered in the cafeteria (which was HUGE) and watched the 5th graders graduate to middle school...I was also looking forward to wallking to the middle school cause it was right behind the house at the end of our street...that would have been cool...my brother did it when he went there...and so did my sister...ANYWAYS...I had to leave all that behind to goto a place that I didn't want to go to and knew no one....I started 5th grade in TN...

the first time I walked into the room these 2 guys decided to make up a name for me...I hated it and they knew it...so they spread the name around the whole damn school and soon eveyone was calling me by that name...then someone else joind in to make my life a living hell...so obviously no one would even think about being friends with me...luckly I had a really nice teacher and she helped me with a few things...then I graduated to middleschool...

the same bunch of ppl who were in the 5th grade went to the same middle school I went to...I wanted to make as much friends with the grade higher up before the ppl in my grade started making fun of me again and using that name that spread so fast in 5th grade...but they were too quick...soon everyone knew me by that stoopid name and no one really liked me...I never really understood why ppl didn't like me when they didn't even KNOW me...PLUS this guy who had someproblem with him decided to start fights with me...I hated him so much...he was fat and a bit smaller than me...I'm not much of a fighter so I avoided it...I never been in a fight...not even with my brother or sister...I got along with them pretty well...but my sister getting along with my brother is a whole different story...damn they wanted to kill each other sometimes...LOL...ANYWAYS time passed with nothing much changing until I graduated to high school...

I thought that high school maybe these pplp would drop this immature name calling and trying to pick on me since ppl are older here...well for the first year the being picked on halfed...but the name calling didn't...everyone knew it pretty quickly...but the last 3 years was different...I was no longer being picked on except for a few groups of ppl in the higher grades and the one person left that started the name calling back in the 5th grade was being a bit nicer to me...I think one of the reasons that he decided to be nice to me was that he liked to watch wrestling...he like WCW and WWF...I got into wrestling when my bro and cousin got together over here in the playroom and watched it...I walked in when they were watching it and got hooked...so I think this guy was nicer cause he found someone to talk about wrestling with...I knew a few ppl online that was connected with wwf and knew news about what stuff was gonna happen in the future like what storylines were coming up and stuff and I told this guy about them...then I think 2 other ppl wanted to know and so they started talkingto me...as long as someone was actually talking to me and having a conversation with me then that was an improvment...so I went along with it and did that for awhile...until I lost interest in wrestling...pretty much everyelse ignored me and didn't know me and prolly didn't even WANT to know me...I had a few ppl who I was kinda friends with...I got along wih them but that was it...OH YEAH...there were some ppl that lived next door to me....a guy and a girl...the girl was in my grade and the guy was a grade or two higher...they didn't live here long...but I was friends with them...he made sure that some ppl in the higher grade stopped messing with me...and she came over and we helped each other on studying...but that ended when they moved...I think I knew them from 7th grade to 9th grade...I don't remember...ANYWAYS this continued til til 11th grade...I met this girl...she was a bit short...wasn't pretty like hot girl pretty but definatly not ugly...I don't know how to describe her...she was not the type of girl I would normally be interested in but for some reason I was attracted to her...I think it was just because of the similar life that she had...if I remember correctly she was treated like crap...she didn't live with her parents but her gradnparents I think...they treated her like crap...her bro treated her like crap...only friends she had were at school...he had a boyfriend who wasn't all that great toward her either...so she broke up with him I think...I decided not to make any moves toward her because she was going into the military right after highschool...we were in I think 2 or 3 classes in 11th grade...and 3 or 4 classes in 12th grade...in 11th grade we talked and got to know each other...I helped her cheat thru a class or two by giving her test answers and she did the same for me...were were friends...but that weas pretty much the only friend I had...a few other ppl I just got along with but they wren't considered friends...in 12th grade I had her in a bunch of classes...in this one class it was me, her, a girl who used to date the guy that started the name calling back in 5th grade, some disabled guy, and a guy who used to pick on me a lot a few grades back...we also had another guy but he left...since it was such a small class everyone got to know eachother and the whole class were a bunch of friends except for the guy who yused to pick on me...he hated the class and piked on the girls...but for the most part we all got along...then we got this other girl in our class...and we got to know each other too...so everyone was friends with the whole class...and we had the best teacher too...she got us out of trouble if we needed it and she let us sit in her class if we had studyhall and she let us talk bout stuff...and she let us help each other on the assignments she gave us...she let us use her computer....and a bunch of other stuff...she is my favorite teacher of all time...I go visit her now that I'm out of highschool...I drop by and say hey to about 4 or 5 teachers every now and then when I'm bored...anyways that lasted thru 12th grade...12th grade was my best year in ALL 12 grades I've had...the funny thing is when we had an overnight party thing for the graduates at the end a few of the ppl that picked on me in the past actually came up and said something like "hey...sorry for picking on u in the past"...I wasnted to beat them with a bat...it's too late for sorries u dik...but I went along with it and was like aight...

well that was high school...after that I took an A+ class...it had mostly adults and 2 ppl around my age...for some odd reason I was friends with all of them...the adults and the 2 guys my age...it was a 6 month class so I was happy with the amount of friends I had...every one liked each other...it was the most amount of friends I ever had...the class ended last december...now I am in a college...actually it's a two year college...it's close to our house...don't really mnow anyone yet...

I am still staying at home cause of several reasons...my dad pays me to stay in school and pay for the classes and stuff (college is considered my work)...I don't have to work...I don't have to pay any kind of bills or anything...I'd stay here forever if it was up to me...I don't really want togo anywhere since all my stuff is here...we live in a huge house with 6 tv's and my room is the 2nd biggest room and 1st biggest bedroom...got all the food I need...and I got my computer and cable...I don't really want to leave most of that to go live by myself in a tiny apartment....I also got me a car which my dad pays...and my parents help me with my classes like english (essays) and math (my dad is an expert with math so he helps me with that)...so I guess that's why I'm still at home...

now I am living home playing computer games and watching tv and passing college...I don't know ANYONE outside my family...I don't know of any place to go meet ppl...I'm more of a listener than a talker...I sux at talking except when I'm online...I can talk about lots of stuff online but when I'm talking with a group of ppl I'm usually quiet just listening learning about the stuff they are talking about...my life is lonely outside of the internet...I know LOTS of ppl online...I even started a clan for tfc (a half-life mod)...I know lots of ppl online but no one offline...don't know anything bout girlfriends really cause I never HAD one...I don't think the girl in Michigan counts...I am not like the regular type of guy...I dunno...just sittin here typing...

well...that's my boring, crappy life...I seem to have no problems getting along with adults...when I worked for my dad (twice in 2 buisnesses) I got along with everyone there...yet I seem to have trouble with ppl my age...it's strange...my life sux...now that I am done I'm gonna go eat...BTW...if ya wanna know what I look like I about 5"4' black hair, dark brown eyes, glasses, I a South American Indian so I have dark skin...not dark enough to look like I'm black but not light enuff to look like I white...it's like I'm inbetween...that's about it...not all muscley...just a regular looking person...I'm a nice person...I'm not mean in any way...don't drink beer cause to me it tastes like piss...don't smoke cause I'm allergic...well I gonna eat now...if you can think of anything that I can do do meet ppl or something then tell me...I'm running out of computer games to play to keep me busy and theres never anything on tv I can watch...I need to meet ppl...not sure how or where tho...oh well...I guess I will always be cursed to never have any friends my age...THANX
C'YA ?:-D

P.S. DAMN...this is long...didn't know it would be so long...oh well

crazycousinjim

Do you like any kind of music ?? Like fly fishing ?? Anything besisdes computers ?? Really find something you like, or maybe just kinda like to do, and find a club or a group of like minded people. Maybe even think about volunteering somewhere, like a hospital, nurse are hot, grrrrrrrrr. Don't start smoking, I smoke a pack a day and am trying to quit, it sucks. Drinking is ok, if you don't like beer find some other drink. Don't drink and drive though. Just some sugestions. If you take up my idea about the hospital though, you have to tell me about the nurses.

HeyAgain

Metallica_Band,

Check out the suggestions within this thread. Similar situation with loads of advices.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...?threadid=7972

Basically Metallica_Band, you possess an introvert personality and have to overcome this. Your childhood wasn't that bad since you were surrounded by people who loved and cared about you.

Time to break away from this shyness persona and introduce yourself to the world.

All the best.

lurkette

Hey Metallica-

Man, sounds like you're carrying around a load of anger and resentment for things that are long past. (The school name-calling thing.) You have to realize that kids are mean little shits, and that it doesn't mean anything about you at all. Time to redefine your self-image based on who you are now and not what happened to you then.

About living at home, I see no reason why that should keep you from making friends. If it is keeping you from meeting people, then move out. Simple. It's a choice - which do you want more? A social life, or free room and board with 6 tvs?

If you're truly interested in meeting people, try volunteering. Find an organization you like - some that I've found that have a lot of diversity but a lot of young people are Habitat for Humanity, your local literacy council, etc. Find a way not to focus on your own life and your own complaints and give back to other people. You'd be surprised how fast that attracts people to you, without you having to do much of anything.

Also, one thing I learned (I'm shy and never felt like I had much of interest to say) is to ask people questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves, and they'll think you're the BEST conversationalist. Eventually they'll ask you about yourself and you can share your opinions and your experiences or whatever, and that's how they'll get to know you.

Good luck to you - remember that at any given moment you have a choice about who you are and what you can do. The voice in your head telling you not to talk to someone or not to ask someone out is NOT your friend - it's just trying to keep you safe from life. And life is where the juice is.

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

rockzilla

You're not going to get far carrying around all that baggage. Lurkette's right about kids being mean little shits. Almost all of them outgrow it come college, the ones that don't just can't cope with the changes between high school and the real world.

HeyAgain posted the link to the thread talking about the same things, and the guy who started it has been making amazing progress. I was in the same boat too, made fun of in school, introverted, quiet, and so on. You don't seem to have a problem getting along with people, so just get out there. Anything is better than sitting in your room, you won't meet anybody watching tv. And don' t forget, you're not in high school anymore.

Loki

as crazycousinjim said, Why not try joining a few interest groups, but at college? Figure out what you like and join the appropriate groups... should be a fun way to make friends

Double D

Whew! Congrats to anyone that got all the way through that in one sitting!

J/K, Metallica,

I agree with everything these people said about avenues for you to move forward.
I love (being on the) the computer...but it can't give warm hugs...and all of us need hugging once in a while (at the very least!) Human contact, with the right people- it's what life is all about. Moving forward with your life is what you want. Do it! Then write about it in your TFP journal (it can be locked, if you like).

Best wishes...

Peetster

Wow. I hope you are appreciative of your parents. They rescued you from your initial situation, made you part of the family, and your Dad gave you a bunch of paying jobs.

Battlefield

Metallica
I had similar life to yours, good early elementary years and absolute hell until grade 12, which was my best year. I drifted through college with decent grades, got my degree yada yada--but I didn't even realize/have the will to change until my fourth year of college. They key thing here is that you recognize you need to change and have the desire to change.

Forget all the past, the past has no bearing whatsover on the present or future--don't give the mistreatment you received a second thought it's a complete waste of time. Instead participate in anything and everything at college--clubs, committees you name it. Your network of friends/acquaintances will grow and grow.

Also, just try making small talk in class with the people beside you it can be as simple as saying hi hows it going, how do you find this class etc etc...If the other person is extrovert they'll basically do all the work for you and all you have to do is keep the conversation going by throwing in your bit here and there

Metallica_Band

I like Metallica (gee...I bet no one could guess that ), Godsmack, Ozzy Osbourne, Disturbed, etc...

I fish flies with a flyswatter...I find using garbage cans with garbage in it is a good lure...LOL...my brother fly fishes but I just regular fish...we (my family) had a cabin awhile ago until we had to sell it...it was a piece of crap anyways...I love to fish...my mom and I usually go to the lake in our subdivision to fish for...umm...FISH

does television count??? I don't have much to do with the outside world...I like driving my car and buying stuff (pc stuff that is)

There's not a club for me...and I don't wanna join no stinkin computer club for nerds thing...that would be so gh3y I would think

EDIT: Hey...I just remembered...I went to a Platinum Plus club a couple of times??? does that count??? prolly not but it does show that I am not "shy" about going to new places and being with groups of ppl I don't know...or maybe not...it could have been the sexay chix there...either way I met some nice girls there and talked to a few...hmmmm...maybe (hopefully? )that's the only way I can overcome any shyness I have about me in having conversaions...hmmmm...interesting thought...

I hate smoke...I'm allergic so I can't smoke

I hate beer too...it tastes like pee...it smells like crap too...I like to actually REMEMBER the stuff I do

Metallica_Band

introvert...hmmmm...and that means??? sry...just too lazy to look it up...it's 2:18AM...the later it gets the more lazier I get...LOL

I don't really consider myself shy...if someone told me to go try something new like a food or a trick or a stunt or something like that then I'd prolly go for it...I guess something wrong with my talking...I don't talk much...EXCEPT when I'm online...holy crap..I talk like crazy when I'm online...It's like I'm a totally different person online...like I have a different personality...like a split personality or something...it's weird

Metallica_Band

Anger??? I don't think I'm angry...angry about what??? I'm pissed at the ppl that screwed with me in the first place but that's bout it...I don't think about it now tho since I'm not in high school anymore

no shit

Well there's really ONE reasson...$$$$$...I love money...don't know why...guess it's cause it lets me buy stuff...I'm so picky about my money...I could be Uncle Scrooges favorite nephew...my dad supplies me with two check every month for just being alive...actually it began as him trying to get me trained on being on a budget...I am hooked on money...If I leave here I will have to go out and get a job and pay for food and pay for shelter and pay for my bills and all that other crap...why do that when I can live with my parents...prepaid house, phone, food, bills, car, college, etc...I pay for my clothes, entertainment, bathroom stuff, gas, tickets (movies, concerts, etc...), computer stuff, etc......I don't wanna have to pay for all that OTHER stuff when I have it already paid right here...sure I know I'm gonna have to do it eventually...I'm just enjoying what I have while it lasts to its' fullest extent

I AM planning on doing that Walt Disney World College Program...if you don't know about it then Google it...I wanna do the extended fall one...I think that's it...but I didn't wanna do it this fall cause I didn't feel ready for it...I had only discovered it about a month before I went to the presentation and interview...it was lall too fast with the thought of me leaving home for awhile and being by myself with other ppl and working and stuff...I wasn't mentally ready or something...Idunno...so I decided to do it next fall...but my parents and nephews are going on an Out West trip in a motorhome...it'll be the second one they've done...I went the first time and there were tplaces that I wanted to go...I've been looking forward to it for along time...maybe they'll plan on it before I would have to go to WDWCP...maybe I can do both next year...I am still figuring out plans on how to fit in college, out west trip, and WDWCP in my life...but I think that the WDWCP will be good for me...I'm looking at it as a test to see if I'm really ready for the rest of the world ...I'll be working for the best company in the world (but that's only if you don't count working at Playboy) and I'll meet new ppl and stuff...and if it doesn't work out then I'll just hang out at the rides and at Universal Studios...sounds fun to me

Metallica_Band

Sure it can <---click and here's a virtuall kiss too --->