Age Difference - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bluedot · 03-22-2007, 03:47 PM

Hi, I need some advice about age difference.
I like a girl who is 15, while I am 18. I think she likes me too, but im kinda worried about, not only legal issues, but also emotional problems that might arise from dating someone three and a half years younger then me. If we were both 18+ this wouldn't be a problem at all. Unfortunately we aren't both 18+.

I might be over analyzing the whole situation, and should just base my actions on what I really feel about her, but the reality of the legal issues worries me.

Sorry if this isn't really the forum to be asking this kind of stuff on, but I couldn't find the "Teenage Emotional Problems" forum.

Bacon Symphony · 03-22-2007, 04:18 PM

Well, I don't think it's much of a problem. If you were like in your 20s and wanting to get with her then I'd be like, "stay away... you're messing with some illegal shit."

You two have a three year age difference, now a days that doesn't seem like much. My boyfriend and I are years apart, but we are legally able to be with each other.

I guess, you should get the parents consent before you try to get with her. If you're not in love with her, or don't like her that much, then I would just say to just get over it.

Dilbert1234567 · 03-22-2007, 04:26 PM

i got the third degree from a cop once, i was 18, she was 15, although i only learned she was 15 that night about 20 minutes before the cop talked to us... anyways, be friends, first, make sure her parents are on board before you do anything 'stupid.' in 3 years it will not matter, the oldest woman I've dated was 9 years older then me, age means nothing after 18, it can work just fine.

paulskinback · 03-22-2007, 05:04 PM

Yeah the legality of it might seem daunting now, but i'm 26 dating a 22 year old. It's good at my age as long as they're mature and not some giggling little fuckwit like a lot of girls who never grew up.

I've also been with a 34 year old when I was 21 so it goes both ways.

You are not a pedo, just make sure her folks are cool with it otherwise daddy might find out and get angry that you're involved with his "little girl" - but trust me, even a 34 year old woman's dad thinks she's still his "little girl"

bluedot · 03-22-2007, 05:08 PM

Thanks for the tips, I appreciate it.

pig · 03-22-2007, 05:44 PM

bluedot,

i've got a different tune. i'd say: be wary. there's absolutely nothing wrong with *wanting* a 15 year old. at 18, a lot of them are quite attractive, etc. i'd be very careful before acting; if you're going to do it, ie. you live in fliffer, iowa: population 4. - then get the parents' consent. i'd really suggest walking on this one. dad's do weird shit when their 15 year old baby girl is involved. other people in the community can do things sort of weird when you're poaching on a 15 year old. unless you've got to do this deal, hold out. that's my advice.

oFia · 03-22-2007, 06:07 PM

Don't rush anything. I know that's incredibly hard; but try anyways.

I was engaged the day before my 18th birthday....married at (counting back now..) 19. Separated at 24. Divorced 2 years later. So much happens at your age, even more if you are fifteen. And I am in no means saying things won't work out for you - I'm simply saying that things change and fast!

ngdawg · 03-22-2007, 06:15 PM

Having a daughter who is 15 and knowing her friends, I would have to assume the attraction is physical-the more 'mature' 15 year olds are too into their education, etc.
As said mother, you wouldn't be dating my kid for at least another year. 15 is a kid, barely out of childhood. Set your sights on someone closer to your age and experience.

skaterpunk · 03-22-2007, 07:26 PM

most places in the us are 16-26 is fine... some people will push for punishment if anything against the wishes of the parents does occur, so be respectful to the parents so they dont go batshit on you.

18-15 is sometimes frowned upon... but you gotta consider that it is much better than 22-15... If you guys can be in the same school, then I don't really think it is that bad.

Ourcrazymodern? · 03-22-2007, 07:53 PM

My daughter's current boyfriend is closer to my age than he is to her's.
When her mother and I warmed up to her first one, she traded him in on an older model...When I had to call this one's "house" to ask where she was one night, the idiot('s) father asked if I was threatening him. Heh. This was after I found them in the shower together.
Wait a couple of years for your own peace of mind. If you really care for each other, you'll both still be there.

slimshaydee · 03-22-2007, 08:42 PM

How long until she turns 16?

pig · 03-22-2007, 09:03 PM

I believe there is a universal rule about the acceptable age of separation, and then there is the pigglet law. it looks like the following: dark lines go to the left, light lines go to the right. i think.

serlindsipity · 03-22-2007, 09:17 PM

ok pigglet, as nerdy as the graph is, its really useful. you get mad points for slapping down some mathmatical righteousness.

Daemon1313 · 03-23-2007, 05:50 AM

Typically from what I've seen these relationships don't work out but there are exceptions. Me being one of them.

When I met my wife I was 20 and she was 16. We've been together for over 10 years now.

As far as legality goes, make sure you check the age of consent in your state http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of..._North_America

Sultana · 03-23-2007, 06:16 AM

I have to say that at 15 she isn't even finished becoming the start of the adult she will eventually grow up to be. Heck, she probably is still physically growing!

If I had a 15-yr-old daughter, I *definitely* wouldn't want her to be dating an 18-yr-old. She still has a lot of live to live, and getting overly-involved with romance at that point would only hinder her development as a person. I realize this is not a popular view, I don't care. Boys wil always be there. The ability to go to school, college, discover herself and her opportunities may not. Sorry, there are just a lot of things much more important than dating at 15.

And folks, don't bring up the "mature of her age" schtick, I graduated from HS at 15, bought my first car with my own $ and started working 60 hrs. a week to save up to put myself through college. I highly doubt there are any others more mature than myself at that age, and frankly, I had more important things to do.

I would encourage bluedot to explore the very wide world of "Your Age and Legal".

pig · 03-23-2007, 06:16 AM

serlindsipity,

yeah, that's a tough hurdle to climb; post this graph and admit that i actually made such a thing, or no? sad thing is that i didn't make it for this thread. sad sad sad.

JustJess · 03-23-2007, 06:27 AM

I don't know the 1 year or 7 year rule... Why did you make it originally?

As for the post... meh, I was 15 once. And an 18 year old guy would have been fine for me (was, actually). I think that as long you clear it with *both* sets of parents, you'll be okay.

absorbentishe · 03-23-2007, 06:39 AM

Just remember, 15 could get you 20! A friend used to say that all the time. You're 18, and anything you do will stay with you forever.

pig · 03-23-2007, 06:40 AM

i think the 7 year rule is the old ( age/2 + 7) is the lower end of the age range you should be ok to date, so i guess the separation would be (age - (age/2 + 7). there's no 1 year rule in that figure; i normalized the importance of a single year as age increases. if i recall, sort of an inverse of the separation.

god i'm pathetic.

i made it originally because i got set up with a 19 year old; i was not 19. i was trying to think about how much of a bad idea it was.

JustJess · 03-23-2007, 08:50 AM

19 now would be fine for me... and I am almost 10 years past that, BUT: only if they don't talk. Yep.

I'm going straight to hell, aren't I?
bluedot, don't listen to me, I'm clearly tainted.

pig · 03-23-2007, 01:54 PM

jess: they talk. and they don't really know themselves, usually. its a painful situation. not without its upsides, but....

JustJess · 03-23-2007, 02:04 PM

*sigh* Fiiiiiiine, dash all my dreams. But what about a ball gag? Now that has possibilities... It's funny, when you're on the other side of the age gap, you have *no* idea that you're that young. I see what the 15 yr old sees in bluedot, but not what the bluedot sees in the 15 yr old. At least, for any length of time.

wisj2 · 03-23-2007, 02:23 PM

When my best friend and I were 16 a new girl moved into the neighborhood. First time he ever saw her he told me "I'm going to marry that girl". We found out later she was 12 years old at the time.

He went on with life and dated others, but when she turned 16 they started dating and married when he was 22 and she was 18. Today, nearly 40 years later, they are still happily married. One of very few couples I know in my generation who are still with their original spouses.

yelizaveta · 03-23-2007, 03:10 PM

it varies depending on the maturity of the people involved. I am 18 and have been with a 37 year old man since just after I turned 17, and we are perfect together, and have a very strong relationship, running a year and a half now.

snowy · 03-23-2007, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pigglet

serlindsipity,

yeah, that's a tough hurdle to climb; post this graph and admit that i actually made such a thing, or no? sad thing is that i didn't make it for this thread. sad sad sad.

pigglet, I love your graph.

MiSo · 03-23-2007, 08:52 PM

it can work if both of you are mature.

i was 19 when i met my gf who was 16 at the time.
its been 6 years and we're still together.
it just depends on the people.

pig · 03-24-2007, 04:29 AM

awwww yeah snowy, that's what i'm talking about

MSD · 03-24-2007, 11:11 PM

I was supposedly mature for my age when I was 15 and I was still light years away from where I was at 18. At 18 I was still way off from where I was at 21, and at 21 I was still pretty far off from where I am now. Think of what you were like at 15 and compare it to now. Do you really think you'd get along with your current self? People mature a lot during the late teenage years and you might as well be in two different worlds.

Of course at 18 you're probably thinking with the small head and not the big one, so none of this is going to matter in your decision. Just make sure you're safe and don't turn her into a 15-year-old mother.

cadre · 03-25-2007, 12:42 AM

Okay, I don't know if any of these people remember high school but I do. There is almost always a huge difference between someone at 15 and someone at 18. Even if she seems mature and she thinks she's mature, she's not. That's just how it is. (generalization I know). I can say this because I've been dating since I was about 13 and I don't think I've ever dated someone my age. At 15 I was in a relationship with a guy that was two years older and I thought I was mature but I was not. Bluedot, just think of when you were her age. Then there's the legal aspect, and there's the fact that if she's fifteen I don't believe she needs to be doing anything such as you would probably like. If you really like her and she really likes you it will wait.

That sounded pessimistic..but on the bright side. It could possibly work out for you if you pursued it now. I just wouldn't reccomend that.

ngdawg · 03-28-2007, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadre

Okay, I don't know if any of these people remember high school but I do. There is almost always a huge difference between someone at 15 and someone at 18. Even if she seems mature and she thinks she's mature, she's not. That's just how it is. (generalization I know). I can say this because I've been dating since I was about 13 and I don't think I've ever dated someone my age. At 15 I was in a relationship with a guy that was two years older and I thought I was mature but I was not. Bluedot, just think of when you were her age. Then there's the legal aspect, and there's the fact that if she's fifteen I don't believe she needs to be doing anything such as you would probably like. If you really like her and she really likes you it will wait.

That sounded pessimistic..but on the bright side. It could possibly work out for you if you pursued it now. I just wouldn't reccomend that.

I remember high school all too well...ah, the drama....
At 13, I was 'seeing' a 21 year old-'seeing' being that we'd meet up at church youth group, snuggle, kiss a lot. He didn't know I was 13 when we first met, he thought I was 16.
At that age, I thought this was the coolest thing ever-my first boyfriend was a 'man'. Then I realized, he's a dork.
Point is, at those early teenage times, we rarely, if ever, know what love is, what true relationships mean-we just want the labels and the sucky-face feelings. The times it works out are so rare, it's a crapshoot at best. And those that say they've been together 10 years, 12, etc., are still young; in today's world, with all relationships under the threat of being temporary, age difference is an added obstacle; for every 'success', there are three or more failures.
If the desire to be with someone so young is that strong, I'd say move really really slow-start as friends, stay vertical, allow for growth and discovery.
She just better not be my kid

Ourcrazymodern? · 03-28-2007, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wisj2

When my best friend and I were 16 a new girl moved into the neighborhood. First time he ever saw her he told me "I'm going to marry that girl". We found out later she was 12 years old at the time.

He went on with life and dated others, but when she turned 16 they started dating and married when he was 22 and she was 18. Today, nearly 40 years later, they are still happily married. One of very few couples I know in my generation who are still with their original spouses.

Anomalies happen, good for them, and us.

03-22-2007, 03:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
bluedot Upright	Age Difference Hi, I need some advice about age difference. I like a girl who is 15, while I am 18. I think she likes me too, but im kinda worried about, not only legal issues, but also emotional problems that might arise from dating someone three and a half years younger then me. If we were both 18+ this wouldn't be a problem at all. Unfortunately we aren't both 18+. I might be over analyzing the whole situation, and should just base my actions on what I really feel about her, but the reality of the legal issues worries me. Sorry if this isn't really the forum to be asking this kind of stuff on, but I couldn't find the "Teenage Emotional Problems" forum.

03-22-2007, 04:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bacon Symphony Upright Location: California	Well, I don't think it's much of a problem. If you were like in your 20s and wanting to get with her then I'd be like, "stay away... you're messing with some illegal shit." You two have a three year age difference, now a days that doesn't seem like much. My boyfriend and I are years apart, but we are legally able to be with each other. I guess, you should get the parents consent before you try to get with her. If you're not in love with her, or don't like her that much, then I would just say to just get over it. __________________ I molested myself last night. I said 'no,' but I knew I wanted it.

03-22-2007, 04:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	i got the third degree from a cop once, i was 18, she was 15, although i only learned she was 15 that night about 20 minutes before the cop talked to us... anyways, be friends, first, make sure her parents are on board before you do anything 'stupid.' in 3 years it will not matter, the oldest woman I've dated was 9 years older then me, age means nothing after 18, it can work just fine. __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

03-22-2007, 05:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
paulskinback Insane	Yeah the legality of it might seem daunting now, but i'm 26 dating a 22 year old. It's good at my age as long as they're mature and not some giggling little fuckwit like a lot of girls who never grew up. I've also been with a 34 year old when I was 21 so it goes both ways. You are not a pedo, just make sure her folks are cool with it otherwise daddy might find out and get angry that you're involved with his "little girl" - but trust me, even a 34 year old woman's dad thinks she's still his "little girl" __________________ 'Everything that can be invented has been invented.- - 1899, Charles Duell, U.S. Office of Patents. 'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.' - Ken Olson, 1977, Digital Equipment Corporation

03-22-2007, 05:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	bluedot, i've got a different tune. i'd say: be wary. there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a 15 year old. at 18, a lot of them are quite attractive, etc. i'd be very careful before acting; if you're going to do it, ie. you live in fliffer, iowa: population 4. - then get the parents' consent. i'd really suggest walking on this one. dad's do weird shit when their 15 year old baby girl is involved. other people in the community can do things sort of weird when you're poaching on a 15 year old. unless you've got to do this deal, hold out. that's my advice. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-22-2007, 05:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
bluedot Upright	Thanks for the tips, I appreciate it.

03-22-2007, 06:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
oFia Tilted Location: Texas	Don't rush anything. I know that's incredibly hard; but try anyways. I was engaged the day before my 18th birthday....married at (counting back now..) 19. Separated at 24. Divorced 2 years later. So much happens at your age, even more if you are fifteen. And I am in no means saying things won't work out for you - I'm simply saying that things change and fast! Last edited by oFia; 03-22-2007 at 07:00 PM.. Reason: typo

03-22-2007, 06:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Having a daughter who is 15 and knowing her friends, I would have to assume the attraction is physical-the more 'mature' 15 year olds are too into their education, etc. As said mother, you wouldn't be dating my kid for at least another year. 15 is a kid, barely out of childhood. Set your sights on someone closer to your age and experience. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

03-22-2007, 07:26 PM	#9 (permalink)
skaterpunk The Ultimate Badass Location: Tampa	most places in the us are 16-26 is fine... some people will push for punishment if anything against the wishes of the parents does occur, so be respectful to the parents so they dont go batshit on you. 18-15 is sometimes frowned upon... but you gotta consider that it is much better than 22-15... If you guys can be in the same school, then I don't really think it is that bad. __________________ "The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better. This is all the stuff the Mommy used to tell him. She used to say, "The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight." Caged inside too many laws. By intangibles, she meant the Internet, movies, music, stories, art, rumors, computer programs, anything that isn't real. Virtual realities. Make-believe stuff. The culture. The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only the intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die."

03-22-2007, 07:53 PM	#10 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	My daughter's current boyfriend is closer to my age than he is to her's. When her mother and I warmed up to her first one, she traded him in on an older model...When I had to call this one's "house" to ask where she was one night, the idiot('s) father asked if I was threatening him. Heh. This was after I found them in the shower together. Wait a couple of years for your own peace of mind. If you really care for each other, you'll both still be there. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

03-22-2007, 08:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
slimshaydee If you've read this, PM me and say so Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?	How long until she turns 16?

03-22-2007, 09:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	I believe there is a universal rule about the acceptable age of separation, and then there is the pigglet law. it looks like the following: dark lines go to the left, light lines go to the right. i think. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-22-2007, 09:17 PM	#13 (permalink)
serlindsipity Psycho Location: Boulder Baby!	ok pigglet, as nerdy as the graph is, its really useful. you get mad points for slapping down some mathmatical righteousness. __________________ My third eye is my camera's lens.

03-23-2007, 05:50 AM	#14 (permalink)
Daemon1313 Crazy Location: Atlanta	Typically from what I've seen these relationships don't work out but there are exceptions. Me being one of them. When I met my wife I was 20 and she was 16. We've been together for over 10 years now. As far as legality goes, make sure you check the age of consent in your state http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of..._North_America __________________ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

03-23-2007, 06:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	I have to say that at 15 she isn't even finished becoming the start of the adult she will eventually grow up to be. Heck, she probably is still physically growing! If I had a 15-yr-old daughter, I definitely wouldn't want her to be dating an 18-yr-old. She still has a lot of live to live, and getting overly-involved with romance at that point would only hinder her development as a person. I realize this is not a popular view, I don't care. Boys wil always be there. The ability to go to school, college, discover herself and her opportunities may not. Sorry, there are just a lot of things much more important than dating at 15. And folks, don't bring up the "mature of her age" schtick, I graduated from HS at 15, bought my first car with my own $ and started working 60 hrs. a week to save up to put myself through college. I highly doubt there are any others more mature than myself at that age, and frankly, I had more important things to do. I would encourage bluedot to explore the very wide world of "Your Age and Legal". __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

03-23-2007, 06:16 AM	#16 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	serlindsipity, yeah, that's a tough hurdle to climb; post this graph and admit that i actually made such a thing, or no? sad thing is that i didn't make it for this thread. sad sad sad. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-23-2007, 06:27 AM	#17 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	I don't know the 1 year or 7 year rule... Why did you make it originally? As for the post... meh, I was 15 once. And an 18 year old guy would have been fine for me (was, actually). I think that as long you clear it with both sets of parents, you'll be okay. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

03-23-2007, 06:39 AM	#18 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Just remember, 15 could get you 20! A friend used to say that all the time. You're 18, and anything you do will stay with you forever.

03-23-2007, 06:40 AM	#19 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	i think the 7 year rule is the old ( age/2 + 7) is the lower end of the age range you should be ok to date, so i guess the separation would be (age - (age/2 + 7). there's no 1 year rule in that figure; i normalized the importance of a single year as age increases. if i recall, sort of an inverse of the separation. god i'm pathetic. i made it originally because i got set up with a 19 year old; i was not 19. i was trying to think about how much of a bad idea it was. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-23-2007, 08:50 AM	#20 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	19 now would be fine for me... and I am almost 10 years past that, BUT: only if they don't talk. Yep. I'm going straight to hell, aren't I? bluedot, don't listen to me, I'm clearly tainted. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

03-23-2007, 01:54 PM	#21 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	jess: they talk. and they don't really know themselves, usually. its a painful situation. not without its upsides, but.... __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-23-2007, 02:04 PM	#22 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	sigh Fiiiiiiine, dash all my dreams. But what about a ball gag? Now that has possibilities... It's funny, when you're on the other side of the age gap, you have no idea that you're that young. I see what the 15 yr old sees in bluedot, but not what the bluedot sees in the 15 yr old. At least, for any length of time. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

03-23-2007, 02:23 PM	#23 (permalink)
wisj2 Tilted Location: Oklahoma	When my best friend and I were 16 a new girl moved into the neighborhood. First time he ever saw her he told me "I'm going to marry that girl". We found out later she was 12 years old at the time. He went on with life and dated others, but when she turned 16 they started dating and married when he was 22 and she was 18. Today, nearly 40 years later, they are still happily married. One of very few couples I know in my generation who are still with their original spouses. __________________ Me and my 1985 Goldwing. 293,000 miles and counting! http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y24...1200Asmall.jpg

03-23-2007, 03:10 PM	#24 (permalink)
yelizaveta Upright Location: chicago, il	it varies depending on the maturity of the people involved. I am 18 and have been with a 37 year old man since just after I turned 17, and we are perfect together, and have a very strong relationship, running a year and a half now.

03-23-2007, 08:52 PM	#26 (permalink)
MiSo Psycho	it can work if both of you are mature. i was 19 when i met my gf who was 16 at the time. its been 6 years and we're still together. it just depends on the people.

03-24-2007, 04:29 AM	#27 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	awwww yeah snowy, that's what i'm talking about __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-24-2007, 11:11 PM	#28 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	I was supposedly mature for my age when I was 15 and I was still light years away from where I was at 18. At 18 I was still way off from where I was at 21, and at 21 I was still pretty far off from where I am now. Think of what you were like at 15 and compare it to now. Do you really think you'd get along with your current self? People mature a lot during the late teenage years and you might as well be in two different worlds. Of course at 18 you're probably thinking with the small head and not the big one, so none of this is going to matter in your decision. Just make sure you're safe and don't turn her into a 15-year-old mother.

03-25-2007, 12:42 AM	#29 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	Okay, I don't know if any of these people remember high school but I do. There is almost always a huge difference between someone at 15 and someone at 18. Even if she seems mature and she thinks she's mature, she's not. That's just how it is. (generalization I know). I can say this because I've been dating since I was about 13 and I don't think I've ever dated someone my age. At 15 I was in a relationship with a guy that was two years older and I thought I was mature but I was not. Bluedot, just think of when you were her age. Then there's the legal aspect, and there's the fact that if she's fifteen I don't believe she needs to be doing anything such as you would probably like. If you really like her and she really likes you it will wait. That sounded pessimistic..but on the bright side. It could possibly work out for you if you pursued it now. I just wouldn't reccomend that. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.