Originally Posted by TotalMILF

I agree with what most other people are saying - counseling. Lots of it, for both of you. There are a lot of other emotions (and maybe even health conditions?) that are likely involved and she needs professional help.

Gss, not every girl has been raped but many have. Most guys have never been sexually assaulted, so of course you have no idea what it's like or how it can affect you. A few days before my 16th birthday my boyfriend at the time and I were fooling around (fingering, hand job, oral). I was still a virgin and he knew I wasn't ready for sex, but he climbed on top of me and pinned me down anyway. I asked him to stop, not to do what I knew he was going to do. He did the whole "but I love you so much, baby" thing while I protested and cried, then he took my virginity. Eventually I screamed in pain and he let me up. The really, really stupid part is that I stayed with him after that for several more months, enduring his abuse because "I loved him," and it definitely ended up affecting my libido and my sex life for many years after that. I associated sex with fear, guilt, pain and sadness until someone finally showed me that sex can be wonderful and passionate and extremely pleasurable (thanks Xeph!)

In this situation there really isn't a whole lot a guy can do but support his girl while she deals with her emotions. Get counseling (individual and couple) and take things slowly. Communicate. Be honest.

Good luck