roxxor

So lets say theres someone you really like but it seems you have shot yourself in the foot multiple times. At what point do you stop?

Shauk

I wouldn't say stop, really, but take decent breaks, say, a month or so... then try something different. give em time to forget that you are such a goon..

SpikeQX99

You will know when to give up. It's just a little feeling you get that tells you "he/she isn't going for this"..

Or, when they call the cops. That's a good place to stop as well.

__________________
I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

KirStang

Only you can decide when to stop. Evaluate how much you want her, and how much it is worth to you, then decide if you should continue or move on. If you said something stupid, take a break, apologize, and try again (if u think it's worth it). If not, then move on.

It's all really up to you...

ratbastid

There's something really charming about the phrase, "You know, I really like you, and I keep messing up every time I try to show you."

little_tippler

Ratbastid, that is such a funny phrase but so many of us do it!

Well my friend, I'm sorry for your situation. Perhaps if you gave us more specifics on what exactly you did to shoot yourself in the foot multiple times (that's a lot of times), we could help you a bit more. When do you stop...it depends on how seriously you've maimed yourself, and how much you like the person, and also how badly you've damaged the relationship that existed to start with.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

zed wolf

Rule number one:
Never give up.
Giving up means accepting that you can not achieve your goals.
Never give up.
In time your goals may change and you may lose interest, that is fine but untill then,
Never give up.

slimshaydee

before you become a stalker.

Zeraph

Giving up is fine, it saves you a lot of time and heartbreak sometimes.

Giving up and "winning" basically ends the same for me. If I've decided I probably no longer have a chance (or if I'm "winning" and have a good chance) I'll be as direct as I possibily can with her. Which leaves the decision to her (which it's really always been up to the persuee) and even though it rarely succeeds (when I'm "losing") I know that I tried and I'm free to move on. I hate "what ifs".

tecoyah

If indeed you feel like its time to give up, but will regret the loss....what have you got to lose with doing what you should have done in the first place:

Tell Her How You Feel!!!

Kazic

I would say, Don't give up! Unless of course each to you see her/him you do something damaging to your health and you are literaly "shooting youself in your feet!" Cause lets face it. You would like mighty stupid hobbling around with a gun in you hand shoot off your own toes!

If however you are always saying silly things and doing stupid "threes company" type antics, I am sure he/she has picked up you dig them anyway!

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

dalnet22

I think you'll learn the boundaries after you've broken them. A long time ago I went to great, great lengths to get this one girl to talk to me. Let's just say I've somewhat learned where to stop.

Whoever said you'll get a certain feeling is right. I can tell now when something feels creepy or desperate... it's just not appealing to the person, and it's not worth your time. If you have to try that hard to get them to realize you want to ride down lover's lane, they're probably not for you.

Willravel

Stop when she says, "I do."
Think positive.
Don't stalk.
Good luck.

Ourcrazymodern?

Give up when you're ready to die, and not before. Peace to all!
Sometimes the someone is the problem.
IOW, sometimes it isn't you, so don't get ready to die for the wrong someone!

Toaster126

Sometimes people just aren't interested. After you've made it explicitly clear, deal with the rejection and move on.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Ourcrazymodern?

How concise and good. I'm guessing I've had less than enough experience, but there are ways in which I've had more. Other people are without doubt more interesting. Thankyou.

Xera

you give up when she starts avoiding you or when you start getting embarassed enough to try to avoid her.

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~~^~<@Xera @>~^~~

shesus

Not sure what you did to shoot yourself in the foot. However, if you've made it clear multiple times and she's made it clear that her answer is no...move on. There are more fish in the sea. My friends and I hated it when guys bugged us all the time. We laughed at them and made them feel like big losers. That's when they gave up...well the smart ones. The other ones were good entertainment.

That sounded bitchy, but seriously, would you want someone constantly acting crazy around and over you if you weren't the tiniest bit interested? Give it up man and find another chick to bug.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

jt6879

Just dont call for a few weeks and see how you feel. If you really miss them, then call them and just nut up and ask them to a movie or something, if you dont really seem to mind that they are out of your life then its pretty obvious

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Just remember this my friend, when you look up at the sky, you can see the stars and still not see the light..

Redjake

Ah, I speak from experience!

If you ask them out more than two or three times and they make up an excuse or avoid you, just forget about them. They don't like you. If they do in fact like you, it's not worth the trouble; going through all that isn't fair to you.

Another good indicator is if they say they aren't interested in dating right now but they date someone 3 days later. I speak from experience.

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Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

IT2002

All you can do is plant the seed. Either a relationship will grow out of it or it won't. I would say to plant more seeds with other girls. If your original girl notices other girls taking an interest in you she will possibly see you in a whole new light. Either that or you may find a relationship with a different girl. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

Nimetic

In my view - there are a lot of fish in the sea, but not always that many in our particular puddle.

Look around yeah? I think it'll make you feel better, it'll calm you down, it might find you a better prospect, and it might even help with the original prospect.

Thats IMHO of course. What the fuck to I know really. Nothin'

loquitur

A lot has to do with the level of your tolerance for rejection. But rejection isn't to be feared as much as most guys think. After all, aren't you better off getting a "no" and knowing for sure than keeping on hoping in vain as you move along the periphery hoping to get noticed? IMHO you're better off being a bit more direct (in a nice way) and getting a definitive answer. Then you know for sure whether to move on. The person up top who recommended saying "I like you but seem to get tongue tied when I try to show you" is pretty much on the money.

Then again, easy for me to say because I'm not in your shoes. And back when I <i>was</i> in your shoes, I was scared sick of rejection.

serlindsipity

i recommend the Eddie Izzard school of flirting - hit her on the head with a loaf of break and run off while telling her "i love you!" Not only can it not fail, its bound to catch her off guard and make her realize what youre trying to say!

Basically, dont use that, its sarcasm, just be blunt and ask her on a date. Leave the rocket science out of life, its complicated enough.

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My third eye is my camera's lens.

jerseyboy

If you've made your intentions clear and she has said no then its time to move on. You cant make someone interested in you. That being said, theres no harm in remaining friends playing it cool and being yourself, and who knows maybe they will see a side of you that wasnt present when you were trying to get them. Dont keep up any hopes though or it will ruin the whole being yourself thing.

MexicanOnABike

very good advice. i agree 100%.

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- Movie Reviews - Ratings-

Ourcrazymodern?

At what point do you stop WHAT?

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Kaliena

Hilarious!

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~Beware the waffle~

Jozrael

At what point do you stop actively pursuing them?

Ourcrazymodern?

(IT2002) might always speak the truth.
Check with ratbastid.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT