slimshaydee

If someone says I don't know if I miss you or miss having a boyfriend and that they need space the chances of this working out in the guys favour do not exist.

Willravel

Huh? Is everything okay, dude?

slimshaydee

That's what was said to me. I was asking the wise folks of TFP to confirm my beliefs that nothing good can come from that.

Willravel

Odds are things are going to be bad, but there are no absolutes in love.

slimshaydee

I wonder if anyone has ever actually had this sort of situation turn out good.

Daniel_

Sadly I much doubt it, Slim.

Sorry.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

SugahBritches

Sounds kinda rocky at best Slim. Almost like what I'd call, "Wishy washy".

Wishy washy remarks are never very clear and if they aren't clear, my bet is they aren't clear on anything, muchless a relationship IMO.

Toaster126

Well, it sounds like if she gets back together with the guy there it's settling. And people who settle are just putting off the conflict and pain for later when it's worse.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

slimshaydee

I basically told her I don't want a relationship in the immediate future, but I would like to keep going with things and see where they go (we broke up but have been seeing each other a bit lately).

longbough

I hereby reaffirm your belief ...

Those are the words of someone who wants to end things but is afraid of being direct about it.

Game over. Move on.

little_tippler

Break up, move on. Sorry and best of luck!

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Bill O'Rights

Sorry Slim...

I'm 44 years old, and I've never seen anything positive follow those words. It's as tired a breakup line as; "It's not you...it's me".

Only slightly better than; "So-and-so (usually your best friend) and I have been talking a lot lately, and...".

It sounds to me as if she wants her freedom. Take some advise from the old guy...give it to her. Trust me. You'll both end up happier for it.

Good luck, man.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

kurty[B]

"I'm not sure", "Maybe", "I don't know" have all been phrases signifying the slow crumble of a relationship in my past experience.

777

umm, I'm the "move on" type, so I have nothing to offer but this:

Move on, and good luck

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

ttoozz

Sadly this is a sign that things are already beyond salvage.

Kaliena

I know as a female, the only reason I would say that (not that I would but hear me out) is if I was pretty sure I was done with the relationship but I didn't want to let go until I found the next guy.

It's a done deal when you get that line.

__________________
~Beware the waffle~

CaliLivChick

Yeah, I'm with Kaliena on this one. Sorry Slim.

__________________
Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

longbough

Even if this was the 1 in ten thousand case where she really might just need "space" and "time" (e.g. parents divorcing, grandma is ill, adjusting her dose of lithium ... etc) then just move on anyway - because, when she's good and ready, she'll come to you .... however unlikely - but don't hold your breath.


When my heart gets stomped on there's one silly song that always cheers me up and even makes me laugh (and I'm not a sappy guy who stews in mood songs) - It's the classic "Everybody Plays the Fool" by The Main Ingredient. I don't know if it works for anyone else but this one works for me so give it a try.

Just for you, buddy - the link will take you to a site where you can download - just pick "free" download http://rapidshare.de/files/32799179/...s_the_Fool.m4p

slimshaydee

that's pretty much exactly what's happening. She was just lonely, but now she realises there's all these guys out there for her. She's told me that guys are the last thing on her mind right now, which is not what I've heard from other people. Oh well, you win some you lose some life goes on. No sadness here, just dissapointment.

Bill O'Rights

Not quite sure that I completely believe that...but, good luck to you, anyway.

I promise you that there is something much better for you, down the road.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Kaliena

Good luck! There are way better women out there for you

__________________
~Beware the waffle~

slimshaydee

It was a relationship that ended a couple of months ago that sort of started up again. I asked what was going on before I developed the feelings I had again, therefore no sadness.