aceventura3

My wife bought something called "Bac-os Bits". I pretty much love bacon, she knows it, and I thought those "Bac-os Bits" were little bite sized peices of bacon for those occations when people who love bacon are running short on time. I chucked a handful in my mouth before I realized that those "Bac-os Bits" are not real bacon.

I read the label, they are some kind of a vegitarian thing. There was nothing close to meat or meat by-products listed on the ingrediaents list. We have been married for over 10 years and I have never, absolutly never gave my wife any indication that I was dissatisfied with real bacon, now she's buying "Bac-os Bits".

I looked through the rest of the refrigerator and I saw something called "Boca Burgers", we normally use fresh ground beef for burgers, so this was odd. I read the package and again-no meat. Why would anyone want a burger with no meat?

I think she is having an affair.

I bet she is seeing some skinny metro-sexual vegitarian or something. She probably met this guy at her finger nail place, she told me once about "guys" going there to get their nails done. When she said that, I chuckled- but perhaps this what these "guys" do to hit on married women.

I don't know what to do. Should I confront her about the affair? Should I join her and try to enjoy some of these new things she is trying and ignore the affair for now? I need some advice. Thanks

__________________
"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

cookmo

Maybe your wife LOVES you!!!!


possibly she is concerned for your health after 10 years of marriage,
and doesnt want your arteries to explode.

Sultana

Put some low-fat chocolate in the fridge, see what happens...

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

eribrav

Dude if you find tofu under the sheets, you're done for.

Jove

Your logic is a bit faulty. Maybe she is worried about your health and is making subtle hints toward this by buying health food.

Instead of confronting her with this bizarre accusation of an affair, you should ask why she bought vegetarian products.

ShaniFaye

go get you nails done with her!!! Dave goes with me....he loves the part where they stick his hands in plastic mitts and spooge lotion in there and put his hands in the heated thing (kinda like a heating pad that fits over his hands) and I tell you one thing....I LOVE the way his hands feel on my skin after he's had it done

(it should be noted for those that dont realize it, Dave is as far from "metrosexual" as a guy can get lol)

as for the no meat thing...maybe, hopefully (nothing agains vegans) its a phase lol

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

absorbentishe

Here's a question for you, why don't you ask her why she's trying to kill you?? If you've been married 10 years, and think just because she's changing a few items on the grocery list, that she's having an affair? I think your reasoning is flawed, and you are not giving all the details. Is she totally chaning the way she dresses too? Please talk with her and figure out what she's doing.

Seaver

Um. She wants you to eat healthier, so you can live longer and she can cheat on you more?

Come on man she cares about you, just talk to her. Make a compromize to eat healthier and keep your bacon.

Toaster126

This is great. Reminds me of the Jonathan Swift piece.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Zeraph

You can't be serious? How have you gotten through 10 years of marriage if youre that paranoid?

*Nikki*

You have got to be kidding me.

maleficent

I can forgive a lot of things - but fake bacon???

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Meditrina

I don't think a change in diet is a sign of an affair. Unless there is something else you are not saying here. I have been married 12 years and recently started weight watchers. I make my husband eat better along with me. Does that mean I am cheating on him? Far from it. I am doing it so I can be healthier and happier to be with him another 12 years or more.

Is there another reason you are concerned that she is having an affair?

__________________
"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

aceventura3

Thanks for the input.

I read an article about how sudden changes in behavior is an indication of cheating. I was at the doctor office and it was a women's magazine, and it was telling women what to look for to see if a man is cheating I assume it applied both ways.

The reason I bring it up was based on how we used to joke about, people who didn't eat meat. I don't have a weight problem and she doesn't either. I always tell her how good she looks. She thinks every man likes those skinny models in magazines, but I tell her I like "healthy" looking women. I am wondering if she is looking for something I am not giving her.

__________________
"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

analog

A man changes behavior suddenly... like suddenly dressing nicer all the time... wearing colognes... cutting his hair differently than he ever has with no provocation...

...HE might be having an affair.

A woman, on the other hand, suddenly puts herself and her husband through a radical dietary change (towards the healthy side) without any provocation, means that she saw or read something about high cholesteral and people dying young of heart disease and high cholesteral, and decided she'd take your life into her hands.

Sudden, unprovoked changes in behavior in either sex CAN indicate cheating- but you're comparing behavioral apples and oranges. One is a sudden interest in being more appealing, the other is a sudden interest in a healthier diet. You really can't compare the two.

Just ask her why the hell she got rid of all the meat... and then tell her you'd rather die young with a cheeseburger in your hand and a smile on your face than old with a grimace and a refrigerator full of rabbit food.

Poppinjay

Didn't he wear a skirt at your wedding?

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

ShaniFaye

Im going to ignore that statment!!! lol

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Seaver

If your wife started to work out like a man (wo?)man, cut her hair short, got manacures, and still did not have sex with you, that'd be a sign.

This is her caring about both of your bodies so you can live long and happy together.

ryfo

Do you do the shopping with her? Have you seen the high price of meat these days? My SO has started buying plastic hamburgers just so the fridge looks full. Only thing wrong with these is that they squeek when you try to bite them:-)

clavus

As long as she still puts YOUR meat in her mouth, you're OK.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

sadeianlinguist

Honestly, it sounds like she's just growing as a person and trying new things. That's what emotionally healthy people do. Honestly, people get bored with doing the same old thing. And don't rely on magazines like Cosmo to understand human behavior. It will not help if your wife actually has a brain.

The_Jazz

Maybe she's decided that Bac-O-Bits and Boca Burgers just plain old taste good. I like both of them myself.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Toaster126

Holy crap, this wasn't satire. I take back my previous post. Geez.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

JustJess

Read Analog's post again. And again, if necessary.
Give the changes a shot, if you can stomach them. Healthier isn't always yucky.

__________________
My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

little_tippler

well said!

Just ask her why there is vegetarian food in the house when you used to make jokes about that sort of thing before. Being direct is often the shortest way to get an answer.

I'd say that to jump from oh she's buying vegetarian food to oh she's cheating then is a bit far-fetched.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

fightnight

Amen to analog.... I thought this was a joke at first. I've never heard of such a seemingly benign thing being cause for worry about an affair. I'd just ask her what's up with all the new food.

Cynthetiq

shouldn't you be asking her why she made the changes?

maybe she's concerned about your health, and without having the conversation with you decided unilaterally to change it (not fair in my opinon.) But you two need to COMMUNICATE.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Sultana

I'm with you Toaster, I thought it was a funny, joking post...oye.

To the OP: Yikes! People grow and change if they are healthy. If your wife of so many years decides to try new things in the bedroom, become a Burlesque performer, stops cooking, and spends a lot of time trying to figure out how to completely cover underwear in rhinestones, then you should be afraid. Because then you are likely married to me.

Listen, here's your chance to grow old with her, rather than just growing old.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

clavus

The fact that so many of us thought your post was satire should clue you into how ridiculous you are being; to make the jump from Bac-o-bits to affair is pretty outrageous.

Take a heaping helping of fresh air, then talk to your wife. Sheesh.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

la petite moi

Women's magazines say a lot in them, and if you follow all of their advice, you'll go bananas. That includes taking advice about whether your spouse is cheating or not. A vegetarian lifestyle has been favoured a lot these days, so maybe your wife is just catching up on eating trends. But to make an assumption that your wife is cheating based on her choice in food means you have a severe lack of communication.

Talk to your wife, and get her side of the story.

Giant Hamburger

Hail Citizen!

I fear you are in grave danger.

Clearly your wife has been replaced by a simulacrum.
Look under the bed or in the back of the closet for the leathery husk of a discarded pod of unknown origin.
I bet meat is poisonous to her alien physiology.
Put a steak under the sheets and see what happens.
Good luck and whatever you do DO NOT talk to your wife.
She will only confuse you with unlikely explanations.

KungFuGuy

i thought it was a joke to. the jump in logic of (different groceries) to (affair) is so distant, i didn't even think they could be a correlation.

Anyways, in seriousness, my first assumption would be that she was trying to be a vegetarian on her own, while dragging you along in the process.

The only thing i could think of would be to spy on her, or just ask her about the change in groceries up front.

sadeianlinguist

I thought about bringing my boyfriend's parents a bottle of wine when I visit them. Will they think I'm a pervert?

__________________
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

rsl12

aceventura, I admit, it's me!! Don't be upset. She's had a loathing of meat-based products from the very beginning--she hid it because she loved you, but she can't hide her true self forever! You, yourself, are a meat-based product, which only made the whole thing harder for her to bear. I will be sending you a copy of Cosmo shortly that explains everything. I'm so sorry.

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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

freeload

I was going to crack a joke about me slippin' her so much meat she wasn't capable of more real meat - but then I realized you were serious.

My wife would probably talk with me first - and explaining why she felt we should et veg.meat, but if I was as stubborn as my brother she would introduced it secretly, and then had a "real" introduction of it. When I (my brother) would say "Get this crap off my table" she would reply with a grin she's been feeding me this for three months

Just to repeat what most others say: Talk to her!
(If she goes "You have NO busines looking in the fridge"-defencive approach...you could be on to something )

__________________
The future ain't what it used to be.

aceventura3

First- I think I overreacted. Blowing off steam here was better than talking to my wife when I am overreacting. Again, thanks for your help.

Please understand that before my wife, I dated some women who where on yo-yo diets. I was tired of the mood swings, depressions over gaining a pound or two, the binge eating, them trying to tell me what to eat, etc. When I dated my wife she was normal about food and I told her that was one of the things I loved about her. I told her that I enjoy food and that I would never be interested in eleminating the foods I enjoy (I eat what I want, but I don't over eat).

I have a freind - his wife went on the "Atkins" diet about 4 years ago. She stopped eating, bread, pasta, pizza, sweets and basically anything with flavor. She lost about 20 pounds, they got seperated. He said she hated him when he would eat regular food in front of her, and that she lost her energy, and all she talked about was the diet and the color of the stips she used to determine how she was doing. Today she has gained back the weight and is almost back to eating normally, they never divorced and may get back together.

Anyway, I did talk to my wife. First she said she simply tried on of the "Boca Burgers" at a resaurant and liked it. When I asked about the "Bac-os Bits" she admitted that she was trying to loose a little weight and wanted to try the "Bac-os Bits" on salads. I reminded her of our friend and my past experiences. She said I did not have anything to worry about, that she would never go that far. After more talk about loosing weight we agreed to take a 1/2 hour walk after dinner every day.

Then I told her about the article I read and ask if she was having an affair or thinking about one. She said no. And she said she had read several articles on the subject. She kind of sarcastically asked if I was going to be more observant. I thought that was a cheap shot. But she said she was thinking about changing her hair color and cutting her hair short. I am very happy we talked before she did that. I like her hair color and her hair length. Then I asked why she wanted to make all these changes since I like her the way she is . She never really answered the question in a way I could understand. I think she is going through some kind of "mid-life" thing. I think I will have to help her through this.

__________________
"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch."
"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions on vegetarianism while the wolf is of a different opinion."
"If you live among wolves you have to act like one."
"A lady screams at the mouse but smiles at the wolf. A gentleman is a wolf who sends flowers."

tres

Glad to hear that everything is ok... But I kinda see where your comming from.. some of those things are major red flags of potential infidelity.. But good for you for communicating and getting through it. I thinkt at many couples have horrible communication and a guy in your position would have just went off on her, and not believed a word she had to say....

Congrats...

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

amonkie

The hair is on HEr head .. just because YOU like it one way, all the time, does not neccessarily mean that she does - sometimes changing this up keeps our lives interesting.

__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Meditrina

It is good that you talked with your wife. Keep that line of communication open.

About her changing her hair. It is her hair. You can tell her how you feel about it, but I would not recommend telling her what she can or cannot do with it. Sometimes people just want a change, they get tired of the same old same old. The hair is the easiest thing to change, and change back if she does not like it. Try to be supportive of whatever her decision is regarding her hair.

__________________
"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

PhilMcGroin

There's your problem right there, bud. Those rags are not even good for sopping up used motor oil...

Phil