dprince

Here's a bit of background info: My girlfriend and I both turned 18 recently, and we've been dating a little over 2 years now. We've had full-on sex only a few times, for a number of reasons (We both live with our parents, she has trouble relaxing, it hurts her, and most recently she had a UTI because of a reaction to the latex I think).

She made a visit to the gyno last week and got the 28-pill packs of The Pill. Her period started last Wednesday (5/10/06) and started taking the pills this past Sunday as she was told.

Now for the questions. I've read from numerous online medical sources that it's safe to have unprotected sex (that is, without any other form of protection other than the pill) one week after starting, one month after starting, and two monthes after starting on the pill. Which is it? I know at least somebody here has to have been through this before.

Question 2: We think she's allergic to the latex in condoms, is there an alternative type of condom (non-latex?) that I can use (just for some added protection)? Or is the Pill effective enough that I'll never need to wear a rubber again. We're both free of any diseases so I don't really see the point.

Question 3: We plan on using the "pull-out method" for a few monthes just until her body is 'fully' adapted to the pill. Is this a safe course of action?

Question 4: I heard the last 7 pills (in the 28 pack) were basically just sugar in a capsule. Does these mean we shouldn't have sex on the last week of her cycle? I'm guessing the answer is no, but just a confirmation would be nice.

I know there's going to be more questions but these were the major four. Oh, and before you answer any of these questions, keep in mind she WILL be taking the pill at the same time every single day. Thanks.

JustJess

1. That can sometimes depend on what she's taking. For the average pill, it's one month of doubling up.

2. Both durex and trojan have "polyurethane" versions. Go for it. There are also lambskin versions in case you like those. Not rated AS effective, but still close.

3. You only need to double up for one month. And no, PULL-OUT METHOD IS NOT EFFECTIVE. Semen can often be found in the pre-cum and you wouldn't want that, now would you?

4. Those sugar pills are meant to help her stay in the routine of taking her pill at the exact same time every day. You are still covered, and you don't need to double up.

5. YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BEFORE STARTING ON THE PILL AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE ENGAGING IN SEX UNTIL YOU BOTH UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS - SHE SHOULD SPEAK TO HER DOCTOR AND HAVE A PROFESSIONAL CONFIRM ALL OF THIS.
Ahem, sorry.
Just emphasizing the important parts.

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dprince

Okay so from what I gather, I should use polyurethane condoms for this 28 day cycle. But once she starts on the second pack (Day 29) it is completely safe for me to not use a condom and not pull out as long as she continues taking the pill at the same time every single day. Is that right?

Dilbert1234567

...that’s like playing Russian runlet and trying to duck when you hear the bang...

With all these questions, she should go back to the gyno and ask the gyno especially if sex is hurting her. Also open a dialog with your and her parents, they will find out sooner or later. It’s best to just get it out there in the open.

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Redlemon

The difference between the two is that the Trojans use Nonoxynol-9 (spermicide) and the Durex Avanti do not. Many women are sensitive to N-9; that might be your GF's issue, not the latex. Try the Avanti first, then try the Trojans version if you want.

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JustJess

There is no such thing as "completely safe". Have you both been tested for the variety of STD's out there? Also, while the pill is damned effective when done right, it's not 100%. Nothing is.

Yeah, try latex with no Non-9 spermicide. That stuff is wretched.

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Redlemon

If she ever goes on antibiotics, she'll have to 'reset' her system and you will have to use condoms again for a period of time; read more at Tilted Forum Project - Antibiotics and Birth Control.

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CaliLivChick

It is completely safe if you consider 99% effective to be complete. Mathematically speaking, I don't. If you want to lessen the risk of pregnancy even more, then use another form of protection.

Okay, that's the overly cautious (in my opinion) part of things. I've been on the pill for about five years, and have had no problems with it. We don't use another form of protection, and have never even had a scare. However, if we were to get pregnant in that fraction of a chance, I would be able to put myself in a position where we could handle it.

Keep in mind that everyone is different. Her body may not react to the hormones the way they're designed to work, she may have trouble remembering to take it every day (I have other pills that I take, so I take them all at the same time, otherwise I'd forget), or she may just not like the effects (some pills have more hormones than others).

In the end, she should be asking her GYN these questions. Some doctors will let you come in to her appointment to ask questions. If her doctor won't let you in, write down your questions and give her the list to ask. One question that I don't think has been answered is the length of time it takes for the pill to be effective. Different brands will take different amounts of time. Mine was only one week, but as you said, some take up to two months. That is one thing for sure that you need to find out. The paperwork that comes with the prescription should tell you. If not, ask her doctor.

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Sage

OK

First thing's first- if your GF starts going all wonky, getting emotional and bizzare and generally acting really wierd, have her try another brand of birth control. BC CAN AND DOES mess with your head AND your libido. If her libido tanks, have her try another brand of BC.

Also, MAKE SURE she's got an open dialogue with her OBGYN. If there's ANYTHING she doesn't like about him/her, get her to switch doctors until she finds someone she likes and trusts completely. They're sticking their head in her privvy bits, there's a certian level of expected intimacy involved with that. Rules of engagement do apply.

Thirdly, it's very good of you to ask all these questions. Go to barnes and noble, check out The Guide to Getting It ON! by Paul Johannes. It's a very, very, very informative book about sex and sexuality, and it will help you and your girlfriend make the transition into having a wonderful and fufilling sex life while being informed and mature about the whole thing. It's not just Tab A into Slot B, repeat.

Some more things:

If sex is hurting her, the #1 reason I can think of is she's not lubricated enough. How long does foreplay last? Is she totally turned on before you start? You DO know she's supposed to get wet, right? And she IS going to go talk to her doctor about sex hurting, right? A lot more women than you would think have shortened vaginas, tilted cervixes... all kinds of strange schematics. Still, it's a good idea to make sure there's nothing actually wrong.

IF she takes the pill at the same time every day and IF she makes sure NOT to eat/take anything that interferes with the pill (and there's a lot of things- do a google on it) then the pill will work 99.8% of the time (I think that number is correct). Chill out- it's the pill, it's been in devlopment for almost fourty years now (or is it fifty?). Enjoy being young and having sex!

Nonoxinol-9 has actually been found to not be as effective as first thought, and some studies show that it can actually have a detrimental effect on attempts to keep sperm from reaching egg. Google this too- I can't think right off the top of my head where I've read that, but I know it was a reputable sorce. As for the latex thing... if you're spending money on the pill, why are you using condoms as well? Like I said, 99.8% effective IF USED CORRECTLY. (repeat- IF USED CORRECTLY).

Lastly, MAKE SURE YOU ARE REALLY, SERIOUSLY TALKING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND about sex and all things sex related. If you want to have a really awesome sex life, you have to BE HONEST and encourage her to do the same. Don't be afraid to try new things, explore new boundaries, and have fun!

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dprince

Thanks to all that replied. I brought up all you said with her. She's going to find out how long it will be until the pill is effective. We definitely think/know we need more time for foreplay and whatnot. When we have the house to ourselves for a couple hours she can relax more and sex doesn't hurt, it's just when there's a chance of someone walking in at any moment it makes sex quick, stressful, and not as great (for either party).

Thanks again everyone. If there's anyone else that has more to add, please do. You've all been a big help.

getmyfix

Her UTI may have nothing to do with the condoms being latex.

Read more about honeymoon cytitis

Sage

^

oh yeah! Have her pee after sex every time- dramatically cuts down the risk for getting a UTI- I used to be really prone to have them, then started peeing after every penatration- no more UTIs for me!

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analog

UTI almost never has anything to do with the condom being latex. If she were allergic to latex, a UTI would not be the reaction to it. Make sure she urinates after you have sex, this flushes the system so that any bacteria that may have gotten in goes back out.

Also- for anything that effects the cycle, wait one full cycle before relying on the pill as the only means of contraception. Until then, use a secondary method of birth control like condoms.

dprince

So we found out the brand name, Loestrin 24 FE, and it takes 7 days to become effective. http://www.loestrin24.com/ Wheee! Anyone have any experience with this brand? Any praise or horror stories? Thanks again guys.

Lead543

I get UTI's if I don't pee after sex, or if I do it a lot in one night.

From my research if the pill is taken at the same time every day its 99% effective but, because of pills taken earlier or later or missed missed typical use is 92-95%.

My advice for you, because, I imagine your conterceptive needs are covering children, as in, you don't wanna get pregnant right now, would be to double up, use a condom and the birth control. This will give you extra coverage especially if you guys absolutely can not have a child at this point.

p.s. the sex gets better when you move out

Martian

Welcome to the world of sex and all that. This deluge of information is just the start and I strongly encourage you to research as much as you can on the subject. It will make future trysts safer and more enoyable.

Birth control is a very effective method of contraception if and only if your girlfriend will take the pill every day at the same time. Be brutally honest with yourself here - do you trust her to be that consistent? Do you trust her to do the research and find out all the facts, find out what medications may interact with the pill before she takes them, things of that nature? There are girls out there who are like this, but that you're coming to us with your questions is a strong indication to me that she's not one of them. If that's the case, you may want to use condoms in conjunction with the pill, just for the added insurance. Unless you're independently wealthy, a baby at your age would be a very bad thing (and even if you are, it's still far from the ideal).

I haven't heard anything about that particular brand, but it's worth remembering that the reason there are so many different forms of birth control is that no couple is the same. Try it, see what happens, if it screws things up try something else.

Are you sure you're both clean? Aside from testing, the only way to be 100% sure is if you are both each other's first. Aside from that, you have no way of knowing that definitively. Is that a risk you're willing to take? I'm not getting down on it, it's a risk I've taken myself previously, just be sure that you're willing to deal with the potential consequences if they're there.

Also, the last 7 pills are indeed sugar pills. They're there as a reminder only, since it's easier to keep things all regular if you have the physical reminder. This means, if necessary, that you can skip those pills entirely and not have any negative consequences. However, this is not advisable unless your girlfriend is either so highly organized that she can do that and still remember to take her pills at the right time seven days later, or there's no other option (she forgets her pills when not at home or something of that nature).

If she ever misses a pill, it's highly advisable that you use condoms for a couple weeks.

Note that I will not tell you what to do and what not to do; I will make suggestions, but that's as far as I'll go. Everything about sex is essentially risk management. No precaution is entirely safe (including condoms) and there's no way to guarantee that everything will work out exactly as planned. Know the risks, be prepared in case the worst does happen and proceed accordingly. It's a philosophy that hasn't failed me yet in any area of life and sex is no exception.

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sadeianlinguist

I'm majorly anti-pill. If you don't remember it everyday, it simply isn't effective. It can mess up your future fertility. You're putting UNNATURAL HORMONES in your body. I suggest you guys go to Planned Parenthood, together, and discuss the best options.

Personally, I think a diaphragm or a cervical cap or vaginal contraceptive film is much safer. You HAVE to actively put it in at the time. You can't passively take or not take, like a pill. You can't forget. You're not putting your future fertility at risk.

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